How To Keep Your Kids Organized

I'm trying to decide if I'm a mean mom because of all the rules and strategies I put into place for the wee ones or if I'm just lazy. I have this thing about keeping my house somewhat neat and the wee ones helping me do so. Thus, the fining system that I recently implemented (which is working amazingly well by the way).

One of our other challenges is the afternoons when the wee ones get home from school. There is a lot they have to do, and we sometimes struggle to get it done without ... issues. Either the wee ones can't figure out what they're supposed to do. Or they whine that everything will take forever. Or they claim that they've done something but really forgot. Or they simply don't want to do it at all.

I've finally come upon a solution that's working for us. The wee ones are happy, we're getting things done, and I don't have fifty kajillion questions about what they need to do now. Remember the homework room I created? I'm using the whiteboard I painted for more than practice work. It's now where I create a list each afternoon - before they get home - of everything the wee ones need to do.

I'm a list maker, so I love the idea of a list. And the wee ones love having things crossed off. We learned very quickly that one rule must be that only Mommy may erase anything from the board. I will take it off only when the item has been done to my satisfaction - clean clothes put away means that the laundry basket has to be put away, too, and math homework means the problems have to be all correct, for example.

The wee ones love it because they get to choose what order to complete the tasks. They have control over it, and it makes them feel good. So long as nothing is mission critical (e.g., today, they have to change for gymnastics before they finished all their homework), I have no problem with that. And it's nice for them to learn to prioritize their tasks, too. Eventually, I'll require that they write down what they need to do instead of me doing it, but we're not quite there yet.

And best of all? It's the board that's telling them what to do. It isn't a battle of me versus them telling them what to do. When I see Mister Man starting to play with Legos or read a book when he still has tasks to do, I can simply ask him to check out the board, and he knows he has to wait. I'm amazed by how smoothly this is going for us - and here's hoping I didn't just jinx it!

The hardest part is me remembering everything they have to do each day. On Tuesdays, Little Miss goes to the school library and needs to return her books. I have to remember to write that on the Monday tasks.

But oh how it warms my heart to hear, "Mom. Mom, I just completed Task X. Can you erase it from the board?"

What works for you to keep your children organized?

Proof That I Need More Sleep

I get into a really bad habit where I have a ton that needs to be done so I stay up late working on it. Then the alarm goes off in the morning, and I'm still tired. I manage to get through the day, but I'm slightly less productive, so that's more work to do after the wee ones go to bed. Generally, this works out alright, even though I'm one of those people who really does best with more than eight hours of sleep.

Every once in awhile, this habit catches up with me and my body - or maybe my brain - screams at me that I need to get some more sleep. This week? Yeah... I need some more sleep.

When I woke up Wednesday, I wanted to go back to bed, but I didn't. Instead I got up and got the wee ones ready for school. I fixed their breakfast, got out their vitamins, packed their lunches, and we headed out the door.

After dropping the wee ones at their respective schools, I headed to the gym as I do most days. Even when I'm tired and can't do my full workout, I can at least do something, I decided awhile ago. I popped into the locker room and started grabbing my clothes to change. I had just done wash and was happy that - tired as I was - I remembered to grab my workout gear before I left the house. So of the two items that were in my clean laundry, which do you suppose made it into my gym bag?

If you guessed the black cami that I also happened to have washed that day, you'd be right. The only good thing is that I always have an extra of each item in my bag at all times just in case - why yes, I do know myself well. They aren't my favorites, but they'll do. After my workout, I reached into my bag to get my towel so I could shower. Ummm, no towel. Why? Because my oh so responsible self had folded it up and put it away instead of placing it into my gym bag where I needed it. Oops.

And when I picked up Mister Man from school? Well, I got a little bit of an earful from him - well-deserved, too. I had sent him Little Miss's lunch instead of his own. And that's a problem. She has to have a dairy free lunch, and he won't do sauces or hummus or the like because of textural issues. Instead of sending them nearly identical lunches that day, I'd sent her dairy free pizza, heavy on the sauce, and celery sticks with red pepper hummus. Interestingly, I'd checked the containers before I slipped it into their lunchboxes to be sure I gave them the right ones, but I didn't open the containers to check to see that I'd put the right food into the right containers. Oops.

I didn't listen, in case you're wondering. My gym issues? I forgot the towel. Again. And worse? When I did remember the towel, I closed my locker and locked it. It wasn't until after my shower when I was standing there in my towel trying to unlock it that I realized I hadn't changed the combination before locking it, so I had no way to get in. My gym nightmare finally came true.

Tonight? I'm going to bed as soon as the wee ones do!

Wordless Wednesday: White Belt

I wrote last month about how Mister Man was struggling with his behavior associated with his autism. I was having a really bad day, but much of it was exemplified by his attempt to move up to the "big kid" class at Tae Kwon Do.

It turns out that we got a chance to try it out for the remainder of January to see how he did once he got more used to it - as he told me later that he was very excited and nervous. On February 1, the owner of the studio asked him if he wanted to have a white uniform, and he about passed out from happiness.

I officially have a white belt in the big kid class. Even better? At last night's class he earned his first white belt stripe (they do it only for white belts to help them know where and when they are progressing, with four stripes required before promotion is even a consideration).

Tasty Tuesday - Dulce de Leche Cheerios Bars

Little Miss has a bake sale at her school on Friday. I love that they still are able to do bake sales of homebaked goods. I am, of course, baking for it, and I finally figured out yesterday what I'm going to make for it. I was sent some Dulce de Leche Cheerios and decided to bake with them because there are some pretty awesome looking recipes out there.

Of course, I had to adapt the original recipe because that's what I do. I was happy that I had all the ingredients for it in my pantry. Well, mostly. And as I made it, I didn't like the proportions they used (to be honest, I think the recipe is off a little bit as written on the site). And yeah... they turned out pretty well. They were super easy and quick to make and are one of those recipes where you can change it up to fit your needs and what you have in your pantry without worrying a ton about measurements.

Dulce de Leche Cheerios Bars

Ingredients:
1 sleeve graham crackers, plus 2 extra - crushed (a little over 2 cups)
1/2 c butter, melted
2 c Dulce de Leche Cheerios
1 1/2 c pretzels, crushed
1 1/2 c milk chocolate chips
1 1/2 c semi-sweet chocolate chips (or white chocolate, yum!)
3/4 c shredded coconut
1 can (14 oz) sweetened condensed milk

Directions:
Crush the graham crackers into large crumbles. I love using my food processor because it's fast and easy. Just make sure you pulse it and don't simply turn it on, or the crumbs will be way too fine. I break them into quarters before starting the food processor to help break them up quickly and evenly. You could also put them in a bag and just smash them there. Add the crumbs and the melted butter into a 13x9 pan and mix together until it's all incorporated, then press into the bottom of the pan. (Seriously, why dirty another bowl? <- my motto in life)

Crush the pretzels in the same manner. Add half the pretzels to the top of the crust. Add half of each type of chocolate chip and the Cheerios, then add the remainder of the Cheerios, pretzels, and chocolate chips before dusting with the coconut. The good news is that the exact amounts aren't particular. In fact, it's possible that I didn't measure at all but just estimated. And it totally worked.

Pour the can of sweetened condensed milk over the pan, covering it equally. You won't be stirring it at all, so do your best to spread it out by pouring it evenly across the top.

Bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes until golden brown. Let it cool fully, then cut into squares. Make sure you've run a knife or thin spatula around the edge of the pan to help release the squares before you try to remove them. Yum.

I have several giveaways going on now at Honest and Truly Reviews. The one I'd most love love love you to enter? A $25 American Express gift card giveaway. Pretty please go enter?

In the interest of full disclosure, the original recipe appeared on the Betty Crocker website, with significant alterations from me. The Cheerios were part of a sample I received courtesy Cheerios and General Mills via MyBlogSpark.

Enjoy this and more with Blessed With Grace and Tempt My Tummy Tuesday. Also posting now with A Southern Fairytale and her Mouthwatering Monday.

Failure Is Not A Four Letter Word

This has been a challenging school year for Mister Man. I've discussed before the fact that he's high functioning autistic, which has its blessings and curses. Social interactions is his biggest challenge because he just doesn't get why so many things matter - and he frequently doesn't read the clues. As he's getting older in school, it's beginning to set him apart more, and he's no longer so oblivious enough that he doesn't notice that he's being treated differently.

We've been having a lot of discussions about what he needs to do differently - waiting for the teachers to give directions on the work because it isn't always what he thinks it will be or making sure he's using his best handwriting and not making it silly writing. I've learned to be careful in those conversations because he so easily shuts down.

I've been hearing from his teacher that he's rushing through his work so he can read and that when he has to redo his work because it's sloppy or wrong or didn't follow directions, he resists and the work comes back still not where it should be. When I talked to him about it the other night, I was able to get him to open up a little about it. He told me that when that happens, it makes him feel lonely in his heart.

"Lonely in my heart" - that's a phrase to break a mother's heart. As I hugged him and talked about what it really means to redo your work and why his teacher asks him to do it, I searched my brain to understand where this came from. I explained that he's a smart kiddo and that means his teacher expects a lot from him. When he doesn't meet expectations, she will ask him to do what she knows he can easily do. When he's rushing, he's showing a lack of pride in his work, and he isn't showing her that he knows the material. If he doesn't learn the basics to create a strong foundation, then he can't move forward to learn the more complicated - and often more fun - things that he wants to learn.

It seemed to sink in a little bit because he does want to learn and he does want to please. It slowly dawned on me that the things he rushes through and the things he claims he "hates" in school (ahem, writing) are the ones that are the biggest challenge to him. They're the things that don't come easily to him. As I pointed that out, he nodded slowly.

But Mom, when I do those things, I fail lots of times, he explained.

Oh.

OH.

Ahhh, failure, my friend. I lived a lot of my life not wanting to fail. It kept me from things I wish I had tried or done. I don't want the wee ones to live that way.

I took a deep breath and looked at him. What does failure mean to you? I asked him. What does it mean to fail? Why do you not want to fail?

And we had a most awesome conversation after that. We talked about how what's important in life isn't doing things perfectly. It isn't about getting 100% on every test. It isn't about being the fastest and the smartest and the "best" at everything. Failure is what happens when we try and things don't work out the way we want them to, but there's no shame in that. Instead, we need to take pride in our effort, knowing that we did the best we can, regardless of the results. And if those results weren't quite what we wish they'd been? Well, we have a great opportunity to take a look at what we did and analyze it to see how we can improve upon it.

We walked through some of the great figures in history and mistakes they made - though still they are so highly regarded and had so much of what so many people consider to be success. Thomas Edison. Albert Einstein. Marilyn Monroe. Vince Lombardi. There are so many examples out there. And he started to get it. I think.

We talked through how he doesn't like the things that are difficult for him and how that's been a trend for much of his life. My child who I cannot get to put down a book used to hate reading. My free-wheeling child used to hate bike riding. And on and on. Once he practiced and gained some expertise, many of these things because his favorite activities. The light bulb grew a little brighter.

And then I went to the gym where Pandora played Pink's "Less Than Perfect" as I was running. With little else do to, I listened to the lyrics, really listened. And I almost started crying in the middle of the gym. This is the song that explains it all. No matter what, you're perfect to me. Through all the wrong turns and bad decisions and and mistaken by others, you're perfect to me.

I found a clean version of the song and played it for him last night. I made him listen to the lyrics - especially the ones discussing the negative self-talk and not looking for critics - and we talked about how everyone often feels this way. We reiterated that there is no perfect, but that instead we do what we can - and that no matter what, he will always, always be perfect to me.

Because failure is not a four letter word. If we don't fail, we aren't trying. This conversation isn't over with him. What we've talked about doesn't fix everything, but it's a start. I had no idea he felt so strongly about failure already at eight years old. How does your child feel about failure?

PS I'd link to the video, but a) explicit lyrics and b) some disturbing imagery. But if you haven't listened - really listened - to Pink's "Less Than Perfect" I strongly suggest you do.

Also, I'm giving away a $25 American Express gift card. By entering, you're helping me out, too. So... would you? Who can't use an extra $25?

I Now Charge For Cleaning

Yes, I'm technically a stay at home mom. I do the all the laundry, the vast majority of cleaning, just about all the cooking, the daily chores, and what sometimes feels like everything. I'm sure most of you do, too. That said, I don't feel like this means that others in the household can simply ignore the little things that should be part of a family working in harmony. I don't get a paycheck for being the maid, but sometimes I feel like I should.

The wee ones (my husband, too, but especially the wee ones) tend to leave books and toys and clothes and other detritus scattered throughout the house. I can't tell you how many times I've tripped over a shoe left in the middle of a random floor. They are great about helping with chores when I tell them they need to do so - they'll empty the dishwasher, put away laundry, clean the playroom, and the like. Remembering to hang up their coats when they walk in the door without a reminder each and every time? Not so much. Putting books back on the bookshelf once they've finished reading them? Ditto.

The last straw for me came when I walked into the bathroom this morning. I'm used to seeing hangars on the floor. I'm used to random pajamas or socks or yesterday's clothing on the floor - and they must pick up those items. This though? It's a whole new level.

Why yes, yes that is a book on the bathroom floor. And apparently a dinosaur had to come read it, too. I'm not sure what was going in here, but I'm pretty sure it was responsible for the delay in getting ready for school this morning. The daily admonitions and reminders to pick up clothing are not sinking in. It's time to hit the wee ones where it hurts.

We're implementing a new fine system as of today. For each room where clothing is left lying on the floor - whether clean or dirty - I will be collecting $0.25 from a piggy bank. While the wee ones don't truly have a good concept of money, they hate giving it up. And $0.25 isn't too much money, I don't think. I did something similar when I wasn't able to open the garage door the vast majority of the time because of coats dumped in front of the door, and I only collected $0.75 before the wee ones changed their habits and now hang up their coats where they belong.

So maybe I really am a housekeeper. After all, I'm collecting a salary for it now, a quarter at a time....

Wordless Wednesday - A Fashion Statement

My husband came downstairs the other night after changing into more comfortable clothes after work. He has a bit of a uniform that ... doesn't make it outside. He wears flannel pajama pants topped with a fraying hoodie. None of it matches, and he has a variety of pajama pants and hoodies from which to choose. I have no issue with it, although it sometimes makes me giggle.

The other night, though? He took it to a whole new level. I'm still giggling. Apparently our house was a little cold that night?

What's your style when you're hanging out at home?