Tasty Tuesday - Dulce de Leche Cheerios Bars

Little Miss has a bake sale at her school on Friday. I love that they still are able to do bake sales of homebaked goods. I am, of course, baking for it, and I finally figured out yesterday what I'm going to make for it. I was sent some Dulce de Leche Cheerios and decided to bake with them because there are some pretty awesome looking recipes out there.

Of course, I had to adapt the original recipe because that's what I do. I was happy that I had all the ingredients for it in my pantry. Well, mostly. And as I made it, I didn't like the proportions they used (to be honest, I think the recipe is off a little bit as written on the site). And yeah... they turned out pretty well. They were super easy and quick to make and are one of those recipes where you can change it up to fit your needs and what you have in your pantry without worrying a ton about measurements.

Dulce de Leche Cheerios Bars

Ingredients:
1 sleeve graham crackers, plus 2 extra - crushed (a little over 2 cups)
1/2 c butter, melted
2 c Dulce de Leche Cheerios
1 1/2 c pretzels, crushed
1 1/2 c milk chocolate chips
1 1/2 c semi-sweet chocolate chips (or white chocolate, yum!)
3/4 c shredded coconut
1 can (14 oz) sweetened condensed milk

Directions:
Crush the graham crackers into large crumbles. I love using my food processor because it's fast and easy. Just make sure you pulse it and don't simply turn it on, or the crumbs will be way too fine. I break them into quarters before starting the food processor to help break them up quickly and evenly. You could also put them in a bag and just smash them there. Add the crumbs and the melted butter into a 13x9 pan and mix together until it's all incorporated, then press into the bottom of the pan. (Seriously, why dirty another bowl? <- my motto in life)

Crush the pretzels in the same manner. Add half the pretzels to the top of the crust. Add half of each type of chocolate chip and the Cheerios, then add the remainder of the Cheerios, pretzels, and chocolate chips before dusting with the coconut. The good news is that the exact amounts aren't particular. In fact, it's possible that I didn't measure at all but just estimated. And it totally worked.

Pour the can of sweetened condensed milk over the pan, covering it equally. You won't be stirring it at all, so do your best to spread it out by pouring it evenly across the top.

Bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes until golden brown. Let it cool fully, then cut into squares. Make sure you've run a knife or thin spatula around the edge of the pan to help release the squares before you try to remove them. Yum.

I have several giveaways going on now at Honest and Truly Reviews. The one I'd most love love love you to enter? A $25 American Express gift card giveaway. Pretty please go enter?

Enjoy this and more with Blessed With Grace and Tempt My Tummy Tuesday. Also posting now with A Southern Fairytale and her Mouthwatering Monday.

Failure Is Not A Four Letter Word

This has been a challenging school year for Mister Man. I've discussed before the fact that he's high functioning autistic, which has its blessings and curses. Social interactions is his biggest challenge because he just doesn't get why so many things matter - and he frequently doesn't read the clues. As he's getting older in school, it's beginning to set him apart more, and he's no longer so oblivious enough that he doesn't notice that he's being treated differently.

We've been having a lot of discussions about what he needs to do differently - waiting for the teachers to give directions on the work because it isn't always what he thinks it will be or making sure he's using his best handwriting and not making it silly writing. I've learned to be careful in those conversations because he so easily shuts down.

I've been hearing from his teacher that he's rushing through his work so he can read and that when he has to redo his work because it's sloppy or wrong or didn't follow directions, he resists and the work comes back still not where it should be. When I talked to him about it the other night, I was able to get him to open up a little about it. He told me that when that happens, it makes him feel lonely in his heart.

"Lonely in my heart" - that's a phrase to break a mother's heart. As I hugged him and talked about what it really means to redo your work and why his teacher asks him to do it, I searched my brain to understand where this came from. I explained that he's a smart kiddo and that means his teacher expects a lot from him. When he doesn't meet expectations, she will ask him to do what she knows he can easily do. When he's rushing, he's showing a lack of pride in his work, and he isn't showing her that he knows the material. If he doesn't learn the basics to create a strong foundation, then he can't move forward to learn the more complicated - and often more fun - things that he wants to learn.

It seemed to sink in a little bit because he does want to learn and he does want to please. It slowly dawned on me that the things he rushes through and the things he claims he "hates" in school (ahem, writing) are the ones that are the biggest challenge to him. They're the things that don't come easily to him. As I pointed that out, he nodded slowly.

But Mom, when I do those things, I fail lots of times, he explained.

Oh.

OH.

Ahhh, failure, my friend. I lived a lot of my life not wanting to fail. It kept me from things I wish I had tried or done. I don't want the wee ones to live that way.

I took a deep breath and looked at him. What does failure mean to you? I asked him. What does it mean to fail? Why do you not want to fail?

And we had a most awesome conversation after that. We talked about how what's important in life isn't doing things perfectly. It isn't about getting 100% on every test. It isn't about being the fastest and the smartest and the "best" at everything. Failure is what happens when we try and things don't work out the way we want them to, but there's no shame in that. Instead, we need to take pride in our effort, knowing that we did the best we can, regardless of the results. And if those results weren't quite what we wish they'd been? Well, we have a great opportunity to take a look at what we did and analyze it to see how we can improve upon it.

We walked through some of the great figures in history and mistakes they made - though still they are so highly regarded and had so much of what so many people consider to be success. Thomas Edison. Albert Einstein. Marilyn Monroe. Vince Lombardi. There are so many examples out there. And he started to get it. I think.

We talked through how he doesn't like the things that are difficult for him and how that's been a trend for much of his life. My child who I cannot get to put down a book used to hate reading. My free-wheeling child used to hate bike riding. And on and on. Once he practiced and gained some expertise, many of these things because his favorite activities. The light bulb grew a little brighter.

And then I went to the gym where Pandora played Pink's "Less Than Perfect" as I was running. With little else do to, I listened to the lyrics, really listened. And I almost started crying in the middle of the gym. This is the song that explains it all. No matter what, you're perfect to me. Through all the wrong turns and bad decisions and and mistaken by others, you're perfect to me.

I found a clean version of the song and played it for him last night. I made him listen to the lyrics - especially the ones discussing the negative self-talk and not looking for critics - and we talked about how everyone often feels this way. We reiterated that there is no perfect, but that instead we do what we can - and that no matter what, he will always, always be perfect to me.

Because failure is not a four letter word. If we don't fail, we aren't trying. This conversation isn't over with him. What we've talked about doesn't fix everything, but it's a start. I had no idea he felt so strongly about failure already at eight years old. How does your child feel about failure?

PS I'd link to the video, but a) explicit lyrics and b) some disturbing imagery. But if you haven't listened - really listened - to Pink's "Less Than Perfect" I strongly suggest you do.

Also, I'm giving away a $25 American Express gift card. By entering, you're helping me out, too. So... would you? Who can't use an extra $25?

I Now Charge For Cleaning

Yes, I'm technically a stay at home mom. I do the all the laundry, the vast majority of cleaning, just about all the cooking, the daily chores, and what sometimes feels like everything. I'm sure most of you do, too. That said, I don't feel like this means that others in the household can simply ignore the little things that should be part of a family working in harmony. I don't get a paycheck for being the maid, but sometimes I feel like I should.

The wee ones (my husband, too, but especially the wee ones) tend to leave books and toys and clothes and other detritus scattered throughout the house. I can't tell you how many times I've tripped over a shoe left in the middle of a random floor. They are great about helping with chores when I tell them they need to do so - they'll empty the dishwasher, put away laundry, clean the playroom, and the like. Remembering to hang up their coats when they walk in the door without a reminder each and every time? Not so much. Putting books back on the bookshelf once they've finished reading them? Ditto.

The last straw for me came when I walked into the bathroom this morning. I'm used to seeing hangars on the floor. I'm used to random pajamas or socks or yesterday's clothing on the floor - and they must pick up those items. This though? It's a whole new level.

Why yes, yes that is a book on the bathroom floor. And apparently a dinosaur had to come read it, too. I'm not sure what was going in here, but I'm pretty sure it was responsible for the delay in getting ready for school this morning. The daily admonitions and reminders to pick up clothing are not sinking in. It's time to hit the wee ones where it hurts.

We're implementing a new fine system as of today. For each room where clothing is left lying on the floor - whether clean or dirty - I will be collecting $0.25 from a piggy bank. While the wee ones don't truly have a good concept of money, they hate giving it up. And $0.25 isn't too much money, I don't think. I did something similar when I wasn't able to open the garage door the vast majority of the time because of coats dumped in front of the door, and I only collected $0.75 before the wee ones changed their habits and now hang up their coats where they belong.

So maybe I really am a housekeeper. After all, I'm collecting a salary for it now, a quarter at a time....

Wordless Wednesday - A Fashion Statement

My husband came downstairs the other night after changing into more comfortable clothes after work. He has a bit of a uniform that ... doesn't make it outside. He wears flannel pajama pants topped with a fraying hoodie. None of it matches, and he has a variety of pajama pants and hoodies from which to choose. I have no issue with it, although it sometimes makes me giggle.

The other night, though? He took it to a whole new level. I'm still giggling. Apparently our house was a little cold that night?

What's your style when you're hanging out at home?

Tasty Tuesday - Pumpkin Swirl Brownies

I'm currently on a "get it out of my house" kick. I am working on clearing out the clutter and getting rid of things, and the wee ones are helping me. We've gone through so many of their books and toys and games and decided that maybe we don't really need to keep them anymore - and boy does it feel good. When I had to bring a dessert to a potluck meeting at Mister Man's school, of course I opened the cabinets and hunted around for something I could use up and thus remove from the cabinet.

I realized I had four cans of pumpkin puree, so creating something with pumpkin became key. I wanted to make something unique and fun, but I wasn't feeling too inspired by recipes I was seeing. Finally I found something to inspire me. And then I tweaked it. The pumpkin swirl brownies I made were good. I did have to do a little moving around of batters and such, so it isn't the quickest recipe, but it's still fairly easy and oh so yummy. Mister Man already asked if I'll make it again! And my husband kept stealing "little" pieces from the pan. Did I mention that none of us like pumpkin pie?

Pumpkin Swirl Brownies

Ingredients:
3/4 c butter, melted
1 c brown sugar
1/2 c granulated sugar
2 t vanilla
3 eggs
1/2 t baking powder
1/2 t salt
3/4 c flour
1/2 c pumpkin puree
3/4 t cinnamon
1/2 t ground nutmeg
3/4 c chocolate chips
1/4 c cocoa powder

Directions:
Preheat your oven to 350, and grease an 8x8 baking dish.

Mix together the melted butter, sugar and vanilla until well beaten. You want this whipped together well. Then add the eggs one at a time, beating well between each addition. Add the baking powder and salt and mix well again. Add the flour and mix until just combined.

Separate the batter into two bowls, one that has about 2/3 of the batter and the other with 1/3. Add the cinnamon, nutmeg, and pumpkin puree to the bowl with 2/3 of the batter and mix until just combined. Take some of that batter and put it into the 1/3 batter bowl until the batters are about even again - this is all guesstimation, so don't worry about being exact here.

In the second bowl where you just added some of the pumpkin batter, add the cocoa and 1/2 of the chocolate chips and mix until just combined.

Place half the chocolate batter into your greased pan. Place half the pumpkin mixture atop it. Place the remaining chocolate atop that and then the final pumpkin on the very top. Using a spatula carefully swirl it up just a little bit. Place the remaining chocolate chips atop the batter, just for fun.

Place it in the oven and bake for 45 minutes - until your tester comes out clean. Let it cool fully in the pan, then cut into squares and serve. Yum.

You'll notice that my pan is a 9x13, if you're observant. I made just about double this posted recipe and baked it in a 9x13 pan. It took over an hour to bake, and the center was a little too thick to bake perfectly, so I had to take it out when the edges started getting crispy and hope it finished baking as it cooled. It worked out fine, but going forward I would bake it in an 8x8 pan (or 2 if I want more of this - which I certainly do because it was awesome) to make the baking easier.

The reason I start with 1/3 and 2/3 batters and move to 1/2 and 1/2 is that I want a real pumpkin flavor to come out, but if you start with half and half, the pumpkin batter is too thin and the cocoa batter is too thick. Putting some of the pumpkin batter in what would become the chocolate batter allowed me to put in more pumpkin puree while keeping the batters at a reasonable consistency.

Enjoy this and more with Blessed With Grace and Tempt My Tummy Tuesday. Also posting now with A Southern Fairytale and her Mouthwatering Monday.

When Our History Is His History

I love hearing stories about my parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles when they were younger. It's a sense of connection that creates an even strong bond amongst our family, and I know we aren't the only ones - the wee ones love hearing stories about "Mickey the Dickens" and other characters, too. My parents tend to be the major story tellers right now, but I know that will change and I will be the one someday.

For now, I enjoy listening to the stories of how my parents were once like me. They were young and silly and kids and had adventures and troubles and giggles and more. When we hear new stories, there's always something we learn about personalities that we hadn't known before - something that of course sets of the desire to know more and explore this little tidbit further.

My dad was once engaged before my mom. In fact, he was engaged when he met my mom. Or maybe when he started dating her. I don't really know because I heard those details once upon a time, and everyone's clammed up since. I don't know any of the details, and to me it sounds like it could be such a romantic story. Boy thought he was in love but realized Girl was the one for him, and nothing could stand in the way of their happy ever after. Maybe. But I don't know.

And of course the less anyone will speak the more I want to know. It isn't because I would be judging them, but instead because it provides a window into their personalities. How did they really meet? What was their dating relationship like? Why did he decide to marry her? What was it about my mom - and my dad - that was so special? I'll probably never know, and a part of me is sad about that.

At the same time, there are parts of my life that I'm just as happy if the wee ones were to never know. I'm ok not having them know about the night before my last college final first quarter my freshman year. Do they need to know my entire dating history? Do I want them to know about how my husband started drinking at the age of 12? Or that he drove his then girlfriend home from some party and she was so drunk he just rolled her onto the lawn? Ummm no.

That said, some of those stories would probably be great learning lessons for the wee ones. "What not to do when" type situations that could engender some really poignant conversations. Or maybe there are things we just want to keep to ourselves for other reasons. Family history is important to me, knowing who the people are - not just their names and where they were born and how they're related to me.

Where do you fall? Do you want to know all the little tidbits that make your relatives into real people, or do you fall into the camp of limiting what information you share about yourself?

In the interest of full disclosure, I received a copy of "The Joy of Hearing Heartbeats" by Jan-Philip Sendker as part of the From Left To Write book club where we write posts inspired by the book rather than traditional book reviews. I was not compensated for writing this post, and all opinions remain my own.

Dear Brother: Little Notes From Little Miss

I'm lucky, and I know I am. Little Miss and Mister Man love each other. They play well together. They voluntarily spend time together and rarely fight. I don't often see siblings get along as well as they do. I adore it, and I hope that it continues into adulthood, especially if I keep my nose out of their relationship.

Every once in awhile one will annoy the other one, sometimes to get attention, but usually unintentionally. Unintentionally as in "I'm thinking only of myself and not how you might feel about what I'm doing" - which really is rather normal, I think.

I noticed yesterday when I went to put laundry away that Little Miss had added a couple little notes to her door. I peered closer to take a look and started giggling. I really don't have to worry about anyone walking over her as she gets older. She knows what she wants, and she's going to make her opinions known, one way or the other.

"Rules for my room. No taking out my marcks"

Ok, so I have to be honest. I have no idea what "marcks" are, and I forgot to ask her. I'm not sure if this is a reference to toys, if she means trucks, or if maybe it's bookmarks. Regardless, she's setting the stage.

"No reading my books"

Why yes, yes this is an issue. As the wee ones play so well together, they have many similar interests. The books they get for gifts or check out from the library tend to be on the same subjects. They actually checked out the same book from their school libraries one week. And so Mister Man will pick up the book she's reading but has set down for the moment and start reading it himself, frequently losing her place. Apparently she's had enough.

"No more playing with my toys only your toys"

Apparently she's had it. Interestingly, to my knowledge, he has never broken any of her toys. I can only imagine that he wants to play with the toys that she's trying to play with or that he wants to play one game and she wants to play another - with the same toys. Yay imagination and made up games? This would explain why I've found them playing in Mister Man's room the past two mornings instead of playing in her room as they usually do.

So how many days before there are rebuttal notes with rules showing up on Mister Man's door?