It's Birthday-palooza!

I bake, as you ummm may have figured out from reading my posts. (Side note: up soon key lime parfaits! I saw my recipe for this recently and need to make them again.) I tend to not turn on the oven much in the summer because it's too hot. I always make an exception this weekend.

Today? My husband's birthday.
Tomorrow? Little Miss's birthday.
Monday? My dad's birthday.

No one will share a cake. And they each want their own kinds. And I can't take a half eaten cake to a birthday party for Little Miss. That adds up to four cakes in four days, just in case you're wondering.

This afternoon, I started my efforts. Because Little Miss is having her party at a beauty salon, they don't allow actual cake because of the mess it creates. However, they're (for whatever reason -- and I'm not questioning this!) totally cool with individual cupcakes. So I'm making ice cream cone cupcakes.

This is what I'm aiming for (pre-frosted):



But it's not all sunshine and lemonade when I'm baking, as much as I wish it were. There was a "minor" mishap as I was checking the cupcakes' doneness. They just about all tipped over. When they were mostly half done. This one happened to land on another one and didn't tip all the way over. I'm thinking frosting will save it.



This one landed face down across the door of the oven. And cupcake ended up falling to the floor and all along the hinge of the door. *sigh* There's no saving it. On the plus side, half-baked cupcakes taste pretty good. And I did forget to eat lunch today....



I also learned that trying to use a cracked cone is not a good idea. I figure it'll taste good once frosted, even though it's obviously not going to the party.



So what are your worst baking accidents (and no, this was by FAR not my worst)?

My Husband, The Urban Dictionary

So. It's summer. The church choir hasn't been together in awhile. But we had a drop in choir practice. I made the mistake of going. It was the first time some of the members had seen my new haircut.

The choir director told me I didn't have to sing, just flip my hair and look pretty. So, as a joke -- beacause we're like that in my church -- I did the perfect hair flip.

The woman behind me, well, let me clarify, the nearly seventy year old woman behind me, leaned over and whispered, "She's a cougar!"

Umm, what?

I was insulted by that on a few levels. Really, it was the haircut? And I can't possibly be old enough to be a cougar, can I?

*sigh*

Oh, how times have changed.

I went hom and complaied about it to my husband. He was quite helpful. Being my husband, he of course had to make a diagram for me because he's incapable of describing something or giving directions without drawing.


It's a little blurry, I know, but bear with me. He wrote it on a small Post-It, and I don't have a fancy camera.

Apparently, there are many categories, and they're not all mutually exclusive.

So while MILFs apparently encompass a wide range of people, the subcategories do not overlap. Cougars encompass the "older" women who are MILFS and really only include women 35 and over. Oh, goodie. I have a whole year and four months before I actually fit that category. I'm hoping it's like "old people" where as a child I thought twenty was ancient and now I see seventy or so as the point at which you're old, thank God.

Then he introduced me to a new category -- and I'm so proud of him for knowing this... -- pumas. Pumas are apparently the MILFs that fall into the younger category of women. He assured me that I'm definitely a puma. For now.

And I think I'm insulted all over again! And really scared to see what searches I'm going to bring over here.

Open Your Ears And Listen!

Whenever we go to Chicago, I drive. I lived in the city for years, but sometimes I forget that my husband and the city just ... don't mix. And that's putting it nicely. More than once he's been forced to abandon his attempt to parallel park and let me do it instead.

But sometimes I forget this.

Like when I was at BlogHer's conference and planned to take the train back home on Sunday. This meant walking the mile and a half with my stuff to the train station, getting aboard, and then being picked up at the train station by my husband.

I had received the tip about bringing an extra suitcase, and I did. Sorta. I brought a gym duffel bag, figuring I could hang it around my neck so I'd still have one hand free. Annnnd after the first night, I decided I'd take a cab to the train instead of walking. Since my shoulder was still sore on Friday from my pulling the suitcase that mile and a half the first time two days prior.

On Day 2, I called my husband and begged him to pick me up. There was no way I was making it home on the train. Yikes! Nice husband agreed.

I told him where we were staying, and he promise to pick me up a little before noon. Since there was a Cubs game, he was planning to leave by a little after 10am just in case he hit traffic. I rolled my eyes but said nothing.

At ten, I called him to request that he bring down a couple freezer pops for Problem Solvin' Mom's poor sick daughter. And I knew he was on his way. Around 11:10, I called him to ask where he was, as I was now trying to coordinate with a second person.

He was on Ohio. Eek! That meant he was about five minutes away, and I hadn't finished packing, nor had I gotten my suitcases downstairs. I called the front desk to request help with my bags. Now, here's a major Sheraton Hotel & Towers fail. It was at least a half hour wait. Seriously, a conference of 1400 people is ending, and you don't have sufficient bell staff?

Not wanting to inconvenience my husband any further than I had by making him drive to the city, I somehow hauled all my stuff on me and tottered to the elevator, hoping I didn't run into anyone on my way.

By the time I got downstairs, I realized that I had taken more time than I should have, and my husband was likely to be waiting. Oops. I called him to see where he was.

I'm on South Water Street, but I don't see the hotel

Well, Honey, that's because the hotel is on NORTH Water street. Come back across the river.

Five more minutes go by. I call again. Ummmm, where are you?

I'm back where I started. I don't see a North Water Street anywhere.

Okie dokie. I explain again that it's one block east of Michigan on Columbus, at 400 north. Right on the corner. Across the street from the NBC Tower.

Five more minutes go by. I swear I think I see him turning right instead of turning left.

Well, I found the NBC Tower, but I didn't see the hotel. Now I'm in a big circle again. I can't find it. I'm just going to go home.

No no no no no. He can't go home. I can't take this stuff on the train. And he's right there. So close. If I had less stuff, I'd tell him to stay put, and I'd walk to him. I give him directions from where he's at again.

Five minutes go by. Poor Steph. She's just standing here with me and her daughter, waiting for the freezer pops, knowing her ride back home is wanting to leave. And listening to me try to give directions repeatedly to my husband who obviously isn't listening, considering that he's on Michigan and not on Columbus.

I can't find it. I'm driving on Michigan, but I don't see a North Water Street anywhere. I'm just going back and forth in a circle.

I groan. Really, what part about a block east of Michigan is so hard to understand. Oh, that's right. It's really hard to understand when you choose not to listen. I explain again that North Water is a two block street off Columbus. He has to get to Columbus first. I explain how to do that again.

He calls back two minutes later. This time I stay on the phone with him.

I can see where the hotel is, so do you want me to go into the tunnel then?

ARG! That isn't a tunnel, that's going under the city. That would be driving straight past the hotel. Again. I calmly explain that he has to turn left at North Water and then just go into the little half circle driveway place.

At this point, I'm trying to figure out why it's so difficult, as Mr. Weasel was able to pick up that crew with zero problems. And I figured I would have had good karma from helping out Steph! No dice.

Ok, I can see the hotel, but I don't see you. Where are you? Why can't I see you? I don't see a circle place. Are you sure I'm on the right side?

Since at this time I can see his car and in fact his silhouette on the phone -- and yes, my eyes are bad enough that I couldn't see him directly -- I figure I'm home free. Until he almost misses turning into the driveway. Almost.

It is now noon. He literally spent over forty minutes trying to find the hotel while being less than a mile away. I gave Steph her Freezer Pops, put my stuff in his car, and sat down. After all, we're going home. How hard can that be?

I closed my eyes to rest a bit. When I opened them, I asked where he was going. We were on Grand, west of the highway. He'd somehow managed to get lost trying to get back to the highway. Fortunately, with me in the car, it's a whole lot easier to navigate, and we were quickly on our way. Once on the highway, I was free to again relax and take a little nap between stories of the fun we had.

But next time? I'm drawing directions for him before I leave. Or maybe buying him a GPS for his birthday.

And with that, I promise to be done with any discussion of BlogHer until next year. Promise!

Ford Makes These Cars, Really?

So before the actual BlogHer conference last week, I was invited here:



BlogHer and Ford invited me down for the day to take a look at the new Fords. To be honest, I'm not a fan of Ford. In fact, I have owned two Fords and swore after trading in the last one that I'd never own a Ford again.

I changed my mind.

You wouldn't believe the cool things Ford is doing now. They have all sorts of features that you wouldn't have thought necessary, but yet they suddenly are. Can you figure out what this might be?



Does this help clarify it?



Nope, it doesn't (or at least not for me!) because it's not something I would have asked for in a car. They are -- wait for it ... massaging seats. I sat down and ahhhh. They massage your back and your rear, but not at the same time. It's gentle to the point that I didn't feel it when I sat down but then it was SO. NICE. The bags you saw were packets that slowly fill with five pounds of air and then release, in addition to the gentle vibrations. While some of us expressed a fear that this time cause us to fall asleep, they worked with doctors to ensure that the massage actually increased blood flow and kept people more awake as well as preventing that icky tingling feeling when you've been in the car too long.

I'm not buying a car without these seats ever again.

Plus, these cars park themselves. Yes, you read that right. You drive along, press a button on the console, and it tells you when you've driven past a spot big enough to fit your car. It announces where you should stop, then you put it into reverse and let go of the steering wheel. It totally freaked me out to watch it whipping around that fast, but a few back and forths and I was completely parallel to and three inches from the curb. For those who have a hard time parallel parking -- my husband -- this is genius.

The car also announces not only when you're getting close to another car in back by beeping faster and faster as you get closer, but it has a cross traffic view from behind so you can feel confident as you pull out from a parking spot instead of me doing my old lady creep creep creep -- praying no one is going to smack me from behind. And it alerts you when there are cars in your blind spot. I'm thinking even my mom could avoid an accident with these cars (she's had enough that at one point in time, her insurance actually dumped her rather than raise the rates again).

Parents aren't left out either. The My Key allows parents to set control of the car so that it can't go over 80mph. And the teen can't turn the radio up past half volume. And the radio turns off if the seatbelt isn't buckled. I love the gentle instilling of good habits.

Environmentalists want to know what's happening with Ford? Not only are they hugely increasing the mpg in their cars and configuring them to have V8 power from a V6, but they are engineering new materials to make the car from. No more do they have foam seats that are made with way too much petroleum. They're made from soy. Seriously. They aren't biodegradable yet, but they're working on it. They're also working making the plastic parts from corn that is totally biodegradable. And even now they're using coconut husks and other materials to strengthen the plastic instead of glass filaments, which makes the plastic lighter and more fuel efficient.

Plus, the cars are sorta fun to drive. I admit that I wouldn't choose a Taurus over a Camry because sitting in the back, my head still just about touched the ceiling (I'm 5'8" -- this is a common problem), but they have some really cool cars and are doing some really cool things. Like the Lincoln MKT that has a fridge built in. And the leaves that appear when you're driving in an environmentally friendly manner.

I also got totally geeked out watching how they set up the factory floor using way cool ergonomics to see if all the parts of the car can be easily and safely reached as needed. It's pretty darn cool -- one of us got to test it out and said it looked just like she was looking into and reaching into a real car.



There was also an LCD tv next to it, so the ergonomic expert can check to see how accurately and easily the worker can do everything, testing how much force it requires to do a task. This minimizes on the job injuries, and who isn't a fan of that?



Going on the factory tour was pretty awesome, too. I've never seen a plant like this before. It was so automated with the cars moving along, doors being lifted and fitted to the car, little conveyor belts moving the workers with the cars so the can complete their tasks. It's not a job I could do, but it was way cool to watch.



Besides, I don't look so hot in safety vest yellow and safety glasses, do I?



I'm somewhat bummed that I bought a new car last year, but I figure they'll be even better by the time I trade this one in, right? And this time, I promise I'll consider a Ford. Wow.

Tasty Tuesday!

Yay, finally a post that isn't related to BlogHer '09! Ok, so there's one more tomorrow, but ... it's more focused on my silly husband and less on the conference, so I'm not sure it really counts.

Anyway, I didn't do a ton of cooking this week since I was downtown for five of the days. I was smart enough to make up some of my favorite pasta salad that keeps well that I know will provide at least a little variety (and homemaded-ness to my family's diet while out of town).

Of course, with all this running around, that means no pictures again, but I promise to do better next week!

Perfect Pasta Salad

Ingredients:
1/2 lb pasta, e.g., rigatoni (I use whole grain)
2 ears of corn, roasted and de-eared
3 marinated artichoke hearts
1/3 c kalamata olives
3 roma tomatoes
3 cloves garlic
2 T fresh basil
4 T olive oil
2 T balsamic vinegar
1/2 c feta, crumbled
salt and pepper to taste

Directions:
Roast the corn on the grill of over the stove (my lazy method in bad weather) until lightly browned on each side. Make sure you peel it first. Then just lay it on the gas burners, and turn it with a set of tongs every few minutes. Stand the ear in a large plate or jellyroll pn, and use a very sharp knife to cut along the ear to remove the kernels.

Cook the rigatoni according to the package directions, making sur to leave it just a touch more al dente than you normally would.

Chop all the remaining veggies into bite-sized pieces. Chiffonade the basil, and mince the garlic.

Add all ingredients to a bowl (preferably while the pasta is still hot to allow the flavors to absorb better into the pasta). Stir to combine, then let sit overnight and serve cold.

Check out recipes like this at Tempt My Tummy Tuesday with Blessed by Grace each week.

Yum!

Enjoy!

BlogHer Day 2 Recap: Photos

Ohhhh my. I'm tired. I'm really tired. I'm apparenly far older than I thought I was. It's a good thing this is only a two day (sorta) conference! But I'm so going to BlogHer10. THANK you to all the sponsors for all the fun they allowed from the various parties to the sessions and facilities -- and of course the way cool swag.

While I have no picures of my swag -- and it's all put away already, it was a really neat way to see and learn about all sorts of products that I might not otherwise use or come across. I'm STILL so bummed I was late to the SocialLuxe Lounge and just missed getting what was probably the most awesome swag, including a Kodak video camera that I would have really loved. I have no "real" video camera and haven't yet justified buying one. *le sigh*

Anyway, I do have a ton of other photos -- so enjoy the show, with commentary wherever I can. And where my sleep derived brain fails me, help me out with some identifications please!



Commentary on each picture is in Flickr but not showing up in the slide show. Grrr. Help?

I didn't make it to as many sessions on Day 2 of BlogHer as I did on Day 1, but there were some great ones. Unfortunately, there were also some really small rooms for some very popular sessions and large one for others. Lots of fun and socializing though, regardless.

And thanks to Weaselmomma -- I got a rather unique and fun experience and photo with Paula Deen. Yep, sweetest woman ever, even rolling down her window to my shock as the limo was driving away to wave at us. I wasn't expecting that at all (really, who would?) so the picture misses most of it since I had already turned it off and put it away.

Lots of way fun parties that night starting with the BlogHer cocktail party on the promenade where we had fun chilling out and enjoying the weather. We moved over to BowlHer after that which was hilarious. I managed to break my thumbnail on the first ball, as usual. They had some surprisingly good food though, and a great atmosphere. Finally, time for the famed Cheezeburgher party in the Presidential Suite that was crowded as all get out. I'd never seen cheeseburgers in a silver buffet warmer before, but it worked! Finally, we had an impromptu SeaMan party in the lobby until we finally gave up and went to bed.

This morning packing things up was a challenge, but I did it. Tomorrow you'll hear about my fun of getting home! But for now, I'm off to bed. I can't believe I really have to work tomorrow, but somehow I'll do it. Here's to more than four hours of sleep in a night!

And to think, BlogHer 2010 is still over a year away. Is it too early to start planning?

BlogHer Day 1: Top Ten Lessons Learned

It's never a good a good sign when you wake up dizzy. I didn't have that much to drink last night at all, so I couldn't have been drunk. But boy was my brain moving slowly. In fact, it took me a good five minutes to realize that I was dizzy from lack of sleep. Oops.

Tonight, I'll sleep more, I promise. In the meantime, I did find the mental wherewithal to remember some of what I learned yesterday, so who can I not share?

Top Ten Things I Learned At Day One of BlogHer

10) Kiwis come in more colors than just green. Seriously, they do. I love kiwi. My family loves kiwi. We eat it allllll the time. And every kiwi I've ever eaten looks the same -- within reason. Granted, some may have been a slightly differnt shape and some may have been a little overripe, but generally they'r the same. Did oyu know they make golden kiwis? And that there are something like 47 different variations of kiwi, including red and white. Huh. Oh, and if you're wondering, the golden kiwis are pretty good. And sweet. And taste nothing like "normal" kiwis.

9) I need a pedicure. The Hanes booth had people who were giving foot massages. That gave me a lovely opportunity to focus on my feet more than I normally do. The nail polish could use a little reboot, but wow are my feet rough after walking around in summer shoes since May 1. Sorry foot massage guy. I promise to book an appointment for the next time my husband allows me out of the house after I get home from BlogHer... sometime in 2013, I expect.

8) My hair does not like the water in the city of Chicago. I remember back when I lived in the city and my hair rocked. Then I moved to the suburbs where we no longer had Lake Michigan water but instead used village well water. It took me a long time to adapt, but apparently my hair is now like that country bumpkin who's never seen the big city. It's overwhelmed by the city water. First is stands straight up in fright in te morning, then it tries to hide by burying itself as close to my scalp as possible, waiting for me to get back to that old trusted water. It's not pretty.

7) To incresae the page ranking of your blog, you need deep links. Google is getting pretty smart. If you're trying to grow your traffic through searches and the like, having people read your main page helps you, but only a little. If people instead click directly to the individual post, you get a whole lot more cred from Google. Interesting concept, I though.

6) Twitter isn't a phone only app. I had no idea. I thought people texted to tweet. Since I don't know how to text and don't have a text plan, I steered way clear. I've now been set straight... and I'm now on Twitter. Greeeeeat. I'm in trouble now, aren't I? Oh, and you can find me there as honestandtruly. I forgot that part, oops!

5) Leaving your phone number with the hotel is a bonus. Not surpisingly, there were no rooms available to check in at the hotel yesterday at 7:30am. But on the waycool plus side, I didn't have to wait in any lines later in the day and miss anything to get my room because the hotel called me as soon as it was ready, as I requested, and I was then able to grab my room key at my leisure. Ahhhh....

4) Even though I've left my twenties, I can still drink in the mornings. Or morning. Granted, this gives a little less credence to my earlier statement about not drinking overmuch last night. But when they offered up the bloody mary at the 10am break, I will admit to taking and drinking one. It was good. Buuuut had there been any one Day 2, I think I would have passed it up.

3) It is possible to go from crying to laughing to crying and back and forth again countless times in the span of less than two hours. The keynote speeches on Friday evening were various bloggers reading their posts. They covered the gamut from mentally ill homeless relatives to Diet Coke's cheating ways to life with special needs children to letters to children and more. Oh, and I don't hide my attempts to avoid crying well. On the plus side, I did somehow manage to avoid having my mascara run all down my face.

2) Men are different from women. Ok, so that I knew already. But in regards to blogging and making your page readable, we're different, too. It's always hard to read garish pages, but the easiest is a light tan with black writing. (Phew, I'm close!) And when you have links, if you don't underline them and put them in a different color, many men are colorblind and can't tell there's a link there. Who'da thunk it? Actually, there were tons and tons of tips about improving blog looks and accessibility. I made several notes, but they all involve time to update, so ummm you may see just this for a long time to come!

And the number one thig I learned on Day One of BlogHer?

HOLY MOLEY! I can touch my toes! Seriously! I've done yoga for years and never touched my toes. I failed the Presidential Physical Fitness Challenge as a kid (in part) because I couldn't touch my toes. There was a sitlates lady at the Elations booth, and she fixed me. She had me resist her as I lifted my legs behind my one at a time, then hamstring curl resistance against her, then out to the side. Twice for each leg for less than ten seconds each time. I then bent over and touched the floor. With my fingers. With my legs straight. Without stretching. It was amazing. And I'm now known by several bloggers as "the chick who touched her toes" because they were lucky enough to witness the demonstration. Ahem.

And now... I need to pack up my stuff so I'm ready when my lovely, generous husband arrives to pick me up. Yay! Recap more tomorrow.