Friday, April 25, 2008

Treasure Every Precious Gift

Well once again, something was thrown at me today that changed the direction of my intended post.

Nicole at Driving with the Brakes On posted the most moving bit of writing that I’ve read in a long time. She just delivered her baby girl at 21 weeks and lost her. I can’t imagine the pain that she’s going through right now, but her story is well worth the trip there to read and to offer her support.

I was reading it this afternoon while the wee ones were napping – or in the case of Mister Man, resting “quietly” in his room. I had gotten through the first post (April 22), with tears just streaming down my face. As I was about halfway through the second post, with audible choking and periodic gasps with my tears, Mister Man came downstairs and interrupted me. It’s probably a good thing he did, as I definitely needed some time and space to prepare myself for reading more.

How Nicole is able to talk so openly about her experiences and even just to keep going, I have no idea. I don't know how I would react were I in her position, but I doubt it's with the equanimity she's showing. I’m lucky in that both my pregnancies were easy, and I can’t imagine losing a baby or a child ever, let alone like this. I realized awhile ago that my husband is my talisman. We want and have two children, but we’ve refrained from him having a vasectomy to ensure that both our children stay happy and healthy – cheating Murphy’s Law if you will, as callous as that sounds. But I’m a superstitious person.

With Mister Man coming downstairs, I again counted my blessings, and I encourage you to do the same. The preciousness of each child and person and being that is important to us is so easily overlooked. Needless to say, there were a few hugs and kisses given before I scrapped the afternoons plans and we went on a bike ride to the park to go have fun instead.


Karen April 25, 2008 at 9:18 PM  

I can't imagine, either. I know what an emotional nightmare we went through when Micah was born with Downs, but we had a baby to love through it all. I remember my mom telling me at one point that she'd rather have had 10 of ours than one like she had (born dead).

Jeff and Charli Lee April 26, 2008 at 12:06 PM  

We agonized over our decision before I had my "V" so I know how you feel.

Nicole is indeed a strong woman. I feel very badly for her and her husband. No one should have to go through that.

Michelle April 26, 2008 at 8:18 PM  

Karen -- I'm with you on the 10 with Downs vs one that doesn't make it, as rough a road as that is. Mister Man still doesn't have a label (and maybe never will), but considering that his new IEP includes ST (for pragmatic language), OT (fine motor), PT (gross motor), and psych (peer interactions), well it's not quite how I pictured my firstborn. And I wouldn't trade him for the world, sweet little munchkin that he is.

Jeff -- good to know you survived the V. I still just can't quite bring myself to (pun intended) cut that last chord to children. I'm one of the very unusual women who loved being pregnant and had super easy pregnancies... but I know two kids are the right number for us, too.

Irene April 27, 2008 at 7:10 AM  

What a sad story. We went through a similar situation 5 years ago. We honestly expected our daughter would not make it to term, let alone survive birth (but now she is almost 5!).

So many people have told us - "I don't think I could ever handle that". But honestly, when you are thrust into such a situation, you have to handle it and it is amazing what you can handle if you have faith. Yes, it was the hardest time of my life, but it truly was life-changing in a VERY good way. Your priorities definitely get re-adjusted. And we all need that sometimes!

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