Forget Underpants Gnomes! I've Got Bigger Problems

I am so screwed. I lost my car keys.

How, you might ask? Well, if I really knew the answer to that question, I’d know where my keys were.

I had them when I dropped the wee ones at daycare yesterday morning. I had them when I drove home. After that, who knows!

When I went to go to yoga last night, I was in a hurry. I changed from jeans and tee into my yoga clothes. I grabbed the same jacket I’d worn earlier, my purse and walked out the door. Then I walked back in to get my yoga mat. Walked out and searched for the keys in my purse. No dice. I checked the pocket of my jacket, and they weren’t there either. Organized me has my spare key hanging in a tiny cabinet in the kitchen, so I grabbed those so I wouldn’t be too late.

This morning, I checked my jeans pockets. Nope. Hmmm. I checked the floor around my jeans (and other assorted clothes that will be off the floor by Thursday morning when the cleaning ladies arrive, I swear!). Now I’m starting to get frustrated.

I checked the jacket pocket again, then I tried jackets I knew I hadn’t worn yesterday. I checked everywhere in the office. And on the couch, even under the cushions – bummer, as I didn’t find anything there; usually I at least get a quarter or ribbon or something. I crawled around on the floor to no avail.

Then I turned around and looked at my kitchen. The island had once again exerted its magnetic properties and was just about covered in everything from a chocolate fountain to books to Tupperware to school notes and God knows what else. The kitchen was apparently taking note of the magical powers of the island and was doing its best to one up the island.

The good news is that I can honestly now say that the island now has only a crockpot with chocolate in it (that I need for my Friday Girls Night Out) and a jar I need to return to a friend. The kitchen table is completely empty. Unfortunately, while many things were put away, my keys were not amongst the debris.

They have to be somewhere in the house, right? I’m debating whether my dear husband stole them, the wee ones played with them, or the kitty buddies knocked them around. Or whether they apparated somewhere and will reappear sometime soon.

After all, as I was getting gas for my car today, I searched again in the pockets of my jacket and discovered the stem to a red pepper that I had been cutting up at lunch for Little Miss (yeah, I know – she’s weird; even I won’t eat raw red peppers plain). I knew it had disappeared as I was cutting it, but how it got into my pocket….

For now, I’m using my spare keys, but there were other keys on that key ring that I don’t have copies of (because dummy me, all the copies are on the same key ring – duh!). But they’ll have to turn up at some point, right?

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Another nomination for the “too cute” award:

Let me set the stage. Little Miss was all ready for bed, and Daddy was reading her stories from her magazine. I came in to say good night to Little Miss.

Me: Good night, Baby Girl. Who’s the prettiest girl in the whole wide world?
Little Miss: (without hesitation) ME!
Me: And who’s the smartest girl in the whole wide world?
Little Miss: YOU! (again, without hesitation and pointing directly at me)

My husband still doesn’t believe I haven’t trained her to say that, but I swear, it shocked me as much as it did him.