Sometimes, They Send You A Sign....

Don't forget to play along with my pop quiz here.

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We've all been there. We're bored, home, flipping through the channels... and then we stop. We aren't really sure why we stop, but we have and we shrug our shoulders, settling in to watch. We're slowly sucked in to what we know is horrible, mind-numbing television that we quite frankly aren't even enjoying.

But we're stuck. We simply can't change the channel, although we have no idea why.

I've figured out the signs that it's truly time to move to another show, however. Granted, I've been spoiled by the ability to watch tv almost exclusively via Tivo, so I am not used to watching commercials. Wow, have they gotten horrible. Really horrible.

So the next time you're sucked in and you start to see these commercials, do your best to pick up that flipper and change the channel. You can do it. I have faith in you (less so in me).

1) Extenze. I get this spam in my inbox and don't read it there. I really don't want to watch it. I just wonder how these companies can stay in business and afford to advertise on tv.

2) The Awesome Auger. Granted, I was initially sort of intrigued by this one. I hate digging holes to plant my garden, and this seemed to make it so easy. Then I started to read the reviews. People, stay away. Scam. Bad scam. They take your credit card number upfront, and that is your agreement to purchase one or more of the products. And you can't cancel their order until it's in the system, but by the time they enter it into the system, it's already on the truck. And it doesn't work anyway. Bummer.

3) Latisse. Yes, now apparently not having full enough eyelashes is a disease, and there is a prescription to fix this. Holy cow. This is so wrong on so many levels, not the least of which (pointed out by my husband) is that one of the side effects of this is to turn your eyes brown. Seriously, glue on some fake eyelashes or use good mascara. Some prescriptions ... we just shouldn't make or buy them.

4) Smooth Away. Ok, so maybe you're sensing a theme here with the "As Seen On TV" ads. In general, unless it's the Topsy Turvey, if you're seeing a special offer commercial, turn the channel. This one is basically for fine grit sandpaper to sand away the hair... wherever you want. Yeah. I'll pass. I like my waxing ladies.

5) Head On. Granted I never actually went through that phase where I drank myself silly on a regular basis (mostly because I'm cheap but for other reasons, too), and I just can't imagine how that product work. But it's an annoying product, and you know it's aimed at ... not the brightest bulbs in the chandelier. Time to flip.

6) Video Professor. Now we've moved into the old people zone. I'm also trying to figure out the business model of this one. Get free CDs to learn how to use your computer. And he advertises on tv. I'm sure I'm missing something, but ... I don't think I care enough to figure out what.

7) Freecreditreport.com. Some commercials are annoying. Some make me want to gouge out my eyes and burn off my ears. This falls into the latter category. If you really want to know what's on your credit report (and you should have a pretty good idea anyway), three times a year, visit annualcreditreport.com and get one of your three free reports. Choose a different bureau each time, and you can stay on top of your credit report free of charge. Ta da!

8) Burger King's booty ad. Once upon a time, I had a whole post about this one. But by the time I actually saw this commercial myself, it had probably been out for months. Let's just say that I find that ad highly inappropriate, morally disturbing, and my family is done done DONE ever eating at Burger King. Ick.

9) Debt reduction services. There are a ton out there, and most of them appear to simply be marketing services that direct people deeply in debt to a company that can do for them the same things they can do for themselves with a little effort while promising so many pie in the sky dreams that are highly unlikely. Sadly, the radio station I listen to on a regular basis has this as a standard commercial at every half hour break. I switch channels each time it comes on. Bleh.

10) Nature Cleanse. Ok, really any cleansing product. Unless it's for my furniture or floors (I SOOOO want a Shark Steam but haven't yet broken down and bought one), I don't want to see it or hear it. And everything I've ever seen or read about them decries their ineffectiveness in most cases and danger in others. Yep, it's a sign you're watching bad tv.

On the other hand, if you happen to catch a Hillshire Farm Go Meat commercial, you're totally on the right channel. Know that I'll be toe tapping along with you. But any of the others? Make the effort to flip!

So how do you know when it's time to change the channel -- or better yet, turn off the tv?

I Must Be Old ...

Because when I watched 90210 last night (sue me, it got preempted by Cubs on Tuesday and I was too tired to stay up and watch it that night), I didn't get it.

Growing up, I loved Beverly Hills 90210. I didn't watch every episode, but I certainly watched many of them. It resonated with me for the most part. I really only remember one quibble I had with the show, and that was the town Brenda and Brandon had moved from. You all remember that they were from Minnesota. In one episode they mentioned the town. They called it WAY-zatta.

*sigh*

Really, you're writing for a huge tv show; can't you afford to do some research? I know it looks like that when you see it on a map -- Wayzata and all. However, it's actually pronounced Why-zhetta. And how do I know this? Well, that happens to be the town I lived in at the time. Sorta like how it drives me nuts now to see movies that take place in Chicago and watch roads that are nowhere near each other appear to be the same road.

But back to the new version.

A friend of mine was suppose to have a viewing party at her house. Unfortunately the preemption messed that up. And the reschedule didn't happen on Wednesday because she somehow Tivo'd only the first 23 minutes of it. Fortunately, she discovered this before we all showed up. Needless to say, I was on my own to watch it Thursday.

And I don't know if I'll watch it again.

I really feel like the show didn't know who it wanted to watch it. Were they going after today's teens or the adults who were teens when the original version was on?

It kept Brenda and Kelly (and may I just ask what happened to Shannen? I don't remember that huge gap between her front teeth before, and every time she opened her mouth to talk, that was all I could stare at). I'm not sure what Brenda's role is exactly. She sort of showed up near the end to visit with Kelly (or is it Kelli?). And Kelly has a child, which means that she's going to play a decent sized role in the show. I assume anyway. That or the kid will be the one to drive her off.

I think they also have Kelly's mom on next week. Because of course we all remember the sweet little Erin she had while on the show. Perfect mirroring, Erin is now in high school, and of course there's the triangle between the three ladies -- or so it appears.

It's odd the large role that adults play on the show altogether. The principal is the new Jim Walsh who moved from Kansas to take care of his mom who is quite the caricature, including being a drunk. His wife is a photographer, and both are playing a large role in the show. One of the high school girls' mom was apparently a high school girlfriend of the principal and is now hitting on him. Apparently because they had a son together that the principal never knew about. Yep, lots of adults in the stories, which seems like something the teens wouldn't care about. Just saying.

But my biggest issues were with the teens. My wee ones would not be watching this if they were of age -- unless it were with me to discuss the show and how very wrong it it.

Erin insists on being called Silver and has an incredibly mean-spirited blog where she attacks whoever she decides to. And since the whole campus at West Beverly is now wireless, everyone and their laptop sees the skewerings and buys into them, making that person the talked about outcast of the day.

The actresses also look so much older to me than even they did in the original version (Andrea and Dylan notwithstanding). And they're so skinny that they look unhealthy. In fact, pretty much all the representations of the teens (and adults for that matter) are ones that I can only pray my wee ones never emulate.

The houses are far, far larger than they were before. The cars the students drive are that much more expensive. Nat's Peach Pit is a way upscale charcuterie and coffeehouse. One boy flies the new girl to San Francisco on his private jet for dinner. To have anyone think that this is reasonable or attainable or even a good fantasy... it sets people up to be miserable later in life.

Interestingly, the "new" children on the show aren't twins. There's a girl and an adopted boy. I'm sure they're going to bring race into the show at some point, as the boy is black. He's also a rocking lacrosse player (anyone else see lacrosse's popularity becoming even more popular after this?) who gets kicked off the team because he is goaded into a fight with the previous star and someone on the team lies and says the new kid started it (is it sad that I have no idea what most of the names are on the show? I think that's probably a bad sign).

Lucky for him, the kid has a change of heart and the new boy is back on the team. But when they are pranked by the rival team, there's a huge show of "you have to be part of the team" which means the new kid devises a reciprocating prank even after being warned not to retaliate. Yep, being part of the team means never giving up your buddies, and this is celebrated by the dad/principal. Apparently my morals need adjusting since I'd fully expect my child to a) not retaliate after being told by the principal not to and b) to give up himself and others if he made the stupid choice to do so and got caught.

There's also the "not so sweet sixteen" party that one of the girls has which I wouldn't attend myself, let alone allow a child of mine to attend. Hugely over the top and lavish and insane. The new girl is grounded because she gave her term paper to the birthday girl and got caught, but she snuck out to the party anyway. Her parents found out, but no apparent punishment for that was doled out.

And don't forget the girls who go to the nightclub with a huge cover and drink. Oh and are on pills and steal purses to pay for said pills.

The disrespect they all show their teachers is also appalling, and I feel for my husband is people start to act this way in real life. I know the parents are already there with the excuses as to why Little Johnny should get a take home makeup exam or why a paper should be regraded or why an extension should be granted because I hear about it from my husband, but the mom on the show who wanted an extra week's extension for a paper because of the upcoming birthday party and the stress of that and the fittings needed, etc. If my wee ones started acting this way, there would be hell to pay.

And the girls are all so vicious towards each other. I remember the original having catty girls on it, but this was just horrible horrible behavior all around. I can only hope that people are a little more normal when the wee ones go to high school.

I don't watch a ton of tv, so maybe this is par for the course. You always have to top the one that came before you, right? I never watched most of the recent popular shows -- Dawson's Creek, The OC, Gossip Girl. To be honest, I had to think long and hard to come up with just those few.

So umm yeah, I'm a curmudgeon before my time. Did anyone else watch the new 90210?