I Was Not A Good Mom This Morning

I'll fully admit that I was not a good mom this morning. That said, I could have been much worse. I didn't yell. I didn't touch a child. There were no emotional or physical scars left. But I'm still angry and irritated - albeit perhaps somewhat irrationally so, as the wee ones are only 7 and 8. But... it's reality.

And this?  This was the breakfast table at 8:30 after the wee ones had boarded the bus for school.  On the plus side, I didn't have to make myself breakfast because there was plenty sitting right here.

 I didn't get a full night's sleep because I woke up from an utterly bizarre dream at 4am. That isn't an excuse, but I know myself, and I get crabby when I don't have sufficient sleep. Compounded with things that don't go as they could, my temper can flare, and getting the wee ones ready for the bus has been a struggle all week.

 At 7:10 this morning - an hour and ten minutes before their bus was scheduled to arrive to pick them up for school - I headed into Mister Man's room, where I found both the wee ones in their pjs, quietly playing. As they spotted me, the whining began that they hadn't had enough time to play. I'm used to it. I get the same whining every morning, no matter what. But, Mooooom, Mister Man whined in his best two year old voice, I was just about to start a game.  Sorry, Kiddo.  It's time for school, so I need you to get dressed.

Little Miss began picking up her Puffles and gave me a hug before heading to her room to change.  Mister Man chose to crawl under his covers to hide.  I explained that I wasn't playing that game and they needed to get dressed and come down for breakfast just like they have done for the past six years. (My emphasis now, not then.)  I got breakfast orders and headed downstairs to make breakfasts and lunches for everyone except me.

I didn't hear noises that sounded like anyone getting dressed.  In fact, the noises sounded like Star Wars Fighter Pods being connected and unconnected.  I sighed and continued on my way, deciding that maybe today was the day for natural consequences.  If they weren't down by the time I finished with breakfasts and lunches and was ready to head upstairs to get myself dressed, I would send them down and they could eat what they got to by 8am - still leaving them nearly a half hour to eat.

As I boiled water in a kettle to help keep the Thermos warm for the honey chicken Mister Man was getting in his lunch, I heard a new noise, one that included giggling.  The wee ones were not coming down to breakfast - which was now sitting on the kitchen table getting warm (for Mister Man) and cold (for Little Miss) - but instead were playing with the nightlight in the hallway, changing its colors.  My blood pressure started to rise.

By the time I finished with lunches and set the lunches and snacks for school on the steps for them to pack into backpacks, there was still nary a child in sight, although I had explained that breakfast was ready and sitting on the table.  I climbed the stairs to find the wee ones wrestling in the hallway, presumably over control of the nightlight, atop the sheets I had just washed and folded but not yet put away.  They decided to go eat breakfast.

While I was getting dressed, the wee ones called to me.  Meow - who is not allowed near the table when anyone is eating because I don't like begging, nor do I want to encourage him to think people food is his food and yes, everyone in the house knows the rule - had managed to knock Little Miss's milk over with his tail.  I closed my eyes and continued getting dressed, deciding benign neglect at this point was better than blowing my top.

By the time I finished getting dressed - note, no makeup or hair or even teeth brushed for me yet, as that happens after the wee ones are off to school - and headed downstairs, I was doing deep breathing exercises.  It was now 8am, and I had milk to clean up.  Mister Man was sitting at the table reading a magazine (another no-no) and hadn't touched his breakfast.  Neither child had socks on.  Mister Man didn't have his glasses.

I reiterated what still needed to be done: lunches and snacks into backpacks, breakfasts eaten, vitamins taken, teeth brushed, socks on, glasses on, shoes on.  Oh, and that they didn't have much time left.  Little Miss - knowing this wasn't going to end well - quickly got up and put her dishes away and headed on to her next tasks.  Mister Man gave the verbal agreement and continued with his magazine.

When the bus pulled into our driveway at 8:20am, Little Miss was ready... except for her unbrushed hair.  She managed to escape out the door before I could catch her and so now is at school looking like she has a pet rat who sleeps in her hair.  Mister Man had to be sent upstairs while the bus waited (thank goodness this isn't the regular bus that waits for no one) for his glasses.  And socks.  And I'm pretty sure his reading log never got filled out.

And they were off to school.  I'm still angry that the cat was apparently on the kitchen table and knocked over milk.  And that Mister Man chose to read a magazine at the table instead of eating his breakfast.  And that they were wrestling on my clean sheets.  And that they were playing instead of getting ready for school as they'd been asked to do and as they know they have to do every morning.  And that Mister Man was throwing attitude at me about getting ready - from the time I explained that he needed to get dressed until the time he stomped back down the stairs with his glasses and socks.

But I didn't yell.  I didn't threaten them with anything.  I didn't say anything mean to them.  And obviously I didn't physically touch them.  That feels like such a hollow victory.

I'm not sure why getting ready has been so difficult this week.  I'm not sure if it's the "extra time" we now have since the bus comes 20 minutes later than the time we used have to get out the door.  I'm not sure if they simply need more sleep.  I'm really not sure what it is.  Yesterday, I resorted to spoon feeding Mister Man his breakfast like he was a baby because he was taking so long.  He didn't like it.  Neither did I.  Today I went a different route of benign neglect that still wasn't being the good mom I want to be.

So on Monday, we're going to try something different.  This weekend, I'm going to sit down with them and explain what I was unhappy with and why today.  And we're going to talk about what needs to happen at what time.  Both the wee ones have small whiteboards, and I'm going to use them as checklists for the wee ones because I can't keep reminding them to move move move every five minutes.  I'll leave them outside their rooms at night, and they can carry them with them as they get ready in the morning.

Something has to change.  And as the parent, it has to be me.  I will raise independent and responsible children one way or the other.  How do you ensure that you get everyone out the door in the morning?

I Am SO Not A Morning Person....

I am so not a morning person. One of the things I hated most about working was the necessity for me to wake up at the crack of dawn and be on the road by 6:15am. Apparently I never grew out of that teenage need for sleep.

This morning, I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth after my alarm woke me up - because I never wake up voluntarily on school days (wow, I really do sound like a teenager, don't I?). As I stared sightlessly ahead, the rhythmic brushing tempting me to close my eyes and go back to sleep standing there, I heard the middle school bus drive past my house, as it always does at 7:06am.

For the first time, it dawned on me that the middle school bus picks kids up - and it doesn't stop to wait for stragglers - at 7:06am. And I know from experience that the high school bus comes by at 6:12am. Considering we wake up almost an hour before we need to be out the door, I started calculating what time the wee ones would need to wake up in middle and high school to be on time, recognizing that they will likely require more time for showers in the morning and makeup and other tasks.

I'm pretty sure I groaned audibly.

As a mom, I think it's my responsibility to ensure that I'm up when the wee ones are. And that they get to school safely, with backpacks and lunches. Yikes. I have a feeling I'm going to start looking forward to the college years once we hit middle school, and that's just wrong. If only I were a mom who knew how to nap, as I don't function well on less than nine hours of sleep. I don't see an 8pm or earlier bedtime as happening for me.

So parents who do have children who wake up at these ungodly hours already (maybe if I'm lucky by then the schools will have switched the high school and elementary start times?), how do you do it? Do you wake up with your kids or do you let them get up and moving before you? Do you take a nap after everyone is off to school?

Because... you know I needed something to to start thinking about this morning, four years in advance.

Sometimes You Gotta Go With Your Gut

I am not a morning person. If you know anything at all about me, know this. I managed to sleep through three women getting up, dressed and chatting in the morning at BlogHer this year because I was not about to face the day. That said, when I had a once in a lifetime opportunity to go do yoga on the ledge on the 103rd floor of the Sears Tower? Well, how do you say no to that?

Even though it was at 6:30 in the morning. At least it was on a Sunday, so there was no traffic to contend with - or I may have begged off. I committed, even with some of my reservations about the hour.

I was so happy to hear my GPS tell me that it truly was only 59 minutes to my destination as I headed out towards the highway. I got through the toll and there was no backup, a good sign. I was so going to be on time. As I listened to the radio list off traffic issues, there was nothing to worry about. Though there was a half marathon going on, it was in Grant Park according to the traffic person, and not going to affect me.

As I got downtown, I couldn't turn left on Jackson. There were little orange cones pushing me west. This was not the direction I wanted to head. That's ok. I turned right on Halstead, the next street to head north. As I went north, every street headed easy was blockaded and monitored by police officers. Was I missing something?

I gave up trying to go north, as there was obviously some sort of issue. I went south to try to head east. And I failed. I kept getting pushed west and south until I finally found a way to make my way east, though very south of the Sears Tower. I was no longer on time. And that zen I had for my yoga? Let's just say that it was gone.

As I made my way easy, I still couldn't go north. Anywhere. I went back across the river, tried going north and ... got stuck. Again. Seriously? If I didn't have an hour long drive back home, I might have bagged it then and there. Someone didn't want me going to this yoga. Someone was reminding me that I am not a morning person and that I could have been happily asleep in my bed.

As I kept driving, I began to notice that there were so many streets blocked off, they ran out of the blue police barricades.

In fact, they eventually ran out of even the construction barricades eventually and were reduced to simply using cones to block streets. No wonder I was having so many issues. Yeah. That race that was being run in Grant Park? Guess what, it was closing the majority of downtown! Until 11am. Oops.

By the time I had found my way as close to the Sears Tower as I was getting and walked to the lobby, I was thirty-five minutes late. Fortunately the first half hour was not actual yoga time, and amazingly the class had somehow not started before I arrived.

I found my zen. And my hamstrings. And my tight low back. I'm pretty sure that tomorrow I'll find my sore abs and an achy chest. It was awesome. I need to do yoga regularly once again. Andrea Metcalf led the class and Melisa was the host as part of her SkyDeck Ambassador role.



And the most impressive part... for me? I actually went on the Ledge. I stood 103 floors above the ground with just three inches of glass separating me from a Looney Toons like fall. Sans happy ending. I was a grabber - I had to hold onto the wall before the ledge to do get out there, but I did it!



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In the interest of full disclosure, I was invited to attend a free yoga class on the Ledge at the SkyDeck of the Sears Tower. I received no compensation, nor was I asked to write about it. As always all opinions (especially about mornings and traffic) are my own.

I'm SOOOO Not A Morning Person

I'm really not. I'm not a night owl either. Early afternoon isn't my highlight. I'm still figuring out where I shine, but it definitely isn't in the morning.

Yesterday morning, the alarm went off at 5:40am, and I didn't roll over and snooze it. Nope, like a good little girl, I got up and took my shower so I could be on the road to work by 6:15. As I stood brushing my teeth, I realized this was probably the last week I'd be able to get ready without turning the light on. Early mornings with harsh light are worse for me.

As I got everything together, I realized that I needed to take off my nail polish before going to work. As a side note, bug spray does not like nail polish. I didn't have time before I left, so I ran upstairs to bring it with me in the car to do after I ate my breakfast. And yes, I eat my oatmeal on the road. It's too hot to eat when I make it, and no food allowed in workspaces.

As I walked out of the house, I even remembered to grab the three bags of Target things that I had to return on my way home. When I got in my car, I realized that I had forgotten my phone and sunglasses, so I retrieved them, as well. Phew!

Traffic wasn't too bad, and I was pleased with that, although I again realized that I'd shortly be driving to work in pitch blackness. It actually got quite dark as a huge thunderstorm rolled in, and I thanked my lucky stars that I'd be at work before (I hoped) the storm would hit.

A couple miles from work, I started reviewing mentally what I had to do when I got to work. That's about when I realized that I might have left my laptop at home. I looked over to the passenger seat and moved the Target bags to find ... nothing. Whoops.

On the way home to pick up my laptop (since my husband and wee ones were still asleep and couldn't meet me halfway), I watched the traffic on the other side of the road build up more and more. There were more than a few deep sighs heaved in the twenty-five minutes it took to glide home through open streets. Yeah, the trip back took over an hour. Well over two hours in the car before I made it to work. Fun!

As I parked, I realized how much the parking lot fills up in the hour and a half after I usually get to work. The south entrance to my building has an upper and a lower parking lot, with an entrance towards the west side of the north wall. I always park on the lower level on the far east row because I usually get the third or fourth spot there. I was about the fourth from the end in that row yesterday.

Now's when my brain fuzziness in the morning started to cause problems, although I didn't realize it until a couple hours later when I thought through the sequence of events. As I got close to the door, I reached into my purse to get my badge. Except that it was still attached to the pants that I work last week and sitting in the dirty clothes hamper (don't judge my laundry speed).

Without a badge, one must go upstairs per the sign near the entrance. I trudged up the stairs to the entrance there. Only once I got through the revolving doors did I realize that there was no guard there and that I had to walk around to the main entrance.

Now. My building employs several thousand people, and it's designed with long wings to the north and south. A normal person would return to the car and park near the main entrance, especially since another thunderstorm was threatening and about to break. That thought never crossed my head, as I walked around the building with no sidewalks to the main entrance to get admitted.

Fortunately, the rest of the day at work went better, as it was no longer really morning. Or at least not early morning. And how much more could I do wrong, right?

Oh, except that I learned that without a badge, I can't print anything or make any copies or get faxes, as all that requires logging in via my badge. Not that I learned this two minutes before a meeting where I intended to walk a couple people through a presentation I had created or anything. Luckily, I work with understanding people!

When I left at the end of the day, I went down to the lower level garage and used my temporary badge to get the doors to open so I could exit. That's when it dawned on me that if the temporary badge didn't work to print anything, it also wouldn't let me out.

I went back to the nice guards to return the temporary badge and gain access to the outside world. Walking outside to more thunder for my trek back around the building and to the furthest reaches of the parking lot, I got out my car keys. And realized that I'd left my phone upstairs (anyone sensing a theme here?).

Fortunately the guard let me back in, and I only had to carry the badge versus getting a whole new holder for it. When I came back, said guard told me good-bye and hoped that it was the last time. Because, really, I needed the snark to remind me that I didn't have it together! Fortunately, at that point, it just made me giggle.

And when I looked at my watch -- oh wait, I forgot to put on my watch yesterday, too, so really it was the clock on my phone -- I realized that the morning was over and the day could only look up.

Next time the alarm goes off at 5:40? I might snooze it. My mom, on the other hand, suggests a checklist. Too practical!