Oh. Yeah, You!

Just after Thanksgiving, we received an invitation to a Christmas party. It isn't the only invitation we received, but it was the only one that confused me. It was addressed to the entire family, but it wasn't one of my friends.

I assumed it was one of my husband's teacher colleagues. I know many of their names, but not all of them. I'd never heard of Susan or Don, so I hung it up on the calendar board and left it for my husband to deal with.

A week or so later, I asked him about it. He had never heard of them either. Now I was getting a little creeped out. I checked the names again. I took a look at the address to see if maybe it was someone from Mister Man's or Little Miss's preschool or daycare classes, but no dice.

How did they get our name? And our address?

I never did RSVP, as I wasn't really sure of the etitquette. How do you call someone and say, "Hi, we received an invitation to your Christmas party, and we'd love to come, but ummm who the heck are you? We're trying to figure out where we know you from." If anyone has the Emily Post on that one, let me know.

Needless to say, the season got busy, and somehow the 2009 calendar somehow got hung over the invitation, and I forgot about it.

Well, until this this morning anyway. I suddenly realized where I'd heard the name Susan X from. Don I still wasn't sure of (they had different last names but were co-hosting the party). She's one of the wardens at our new church.

Yep, our nice, friendly church that we love so much. Ahhhh. The lightbulb has gone on finally. So ummm next year when they invite us to their party after we never RSVPed this year and just blew them off, I'll know why we got the invitation.

And I promise to call them to let them know whether or not we're able to attend. Now that I know who they are and all.

We're Going Episcopal

Back in May, I came to the realization that the Catholic Church just wasn't cutting it for me anymore.

Well, we started attending the local Episcopal church. You know, where Little Miss was supposed to start preschool last Tuesday? Yeah.

It's very different from the Catholic churches around here in some good ways. This is a country church, and I mean that in the best possible way. It's very small, and there's a real feeling of community.

The first Sunday we went, there were twenty one people in attendance, excluding the minister. Granted, it was the 8am service and Memorial Day weekend, but the church we'd come from averaged over 700 each week, including summer. So when the service ended, what do you suppose happened? Of those twenty-one, eight introduced themselves to us. And one woman tried to get me to be on the flower guild. Whoah, I haven't joined the church and I'm not an Episcopal -- too much pressure could turn people off! But they were all really nice and sweet.

Now that summer is over, there are more people there (well over 100 but I forgot to count). And today, the woman in front of me introduced herself because she hadn't seen me before. I always felt like I was sitting alone in a sea of people when attending Mass in the Catholic Church, but definitely not here. And I like that. Religion is community to me.

And the Episcopal church will give the wee ones the exposure to religion that I so desperately want them to have. I could pretend like I do a good job at home, but so far we've gotten into the following conversation one too many times.

Mister Man (or Little Miss): What does God do?
Me: He watches over us.
MM: Why?
Me: Because He loves us.
MM: Why?
Me: Because we're all His children.
MM: Why?
Me: Because He made us.
MM: Why?
Me: Because He loves us.
....
MM: Why?
Me: That's a really good question, Sweetie. When you go to Sunday School, be sure to ask your teacher.

I can only have that conversation so many times. And we've started talking about Adam and Eve and the Garden of Eden and their sons. But without weekly reinforcement by someone who knows how to teach it way better than me, I am just not comfortable with the base of religious education.

Catholics: $600 for my family to attend Generations of Faith six Wednesdays a year from 6:30 to 8:30pm. Oh, and that includes a dinner where we eat with other families, and then the entire family goes off in age appropriate groups to learn. Adults, too. But no kids under kindergarten age. Oh, wait. We can't start for two more years then since Mister Man doesn't go to kindergarten until next year and Little Miss until the year after. And what do I do with her when the rest of us go if she isn't welcome? Six times a year isn't enough for me.

Episcopals: Sunday School is every Sunday at 9:05 am between the two services. It's free. Children start at age 3 and go through high school.

That part of it really sort of made the choice for me. They start Sunday school next week. They're supposed to be in the same class as of now, as Godly Play is for ages 3-5. But if that's a problem, they'll move Mister Man up a level since he can read.

There are several other differences in the two churches, but really Episcopal is as Catholic as you can get without being Catholic, so that's somewhat comforting to me. The service is structured the same. The prayers are essentially the same, with some slight wording differences (and I still have a hard time saying "became incarnate of the Virgin Mary" and "suffered death and was buried" in the Nicene Creed instead of "was born of the Virgin Mary" and "suffered, died, and was buried." I'll get there though.

I love the bulletin that gives the words to everything. This may be this church only, but I can follow along with all the readings - versus looking them up in the missilette - and the prayers that will be said during the service. Definitely more customer friendly, in my mind. Not the most green though.

The Episcopal church also welcomes everyone, in many ways.

All can receive communion, including children who have not yet received their first communion. It's part of the whole welcoming everyone aspect of the church that I really love. Catholics? Technically, not only do you need to have your First Communion, but you must also be Catholic, have all your sins forgiven already, not divorced, etc etc etc. And there are children at the church now who get really into going up to the rail with everyone else. Oh yeah. You receive communion at the rail, old school. A little different, but I'm good with it!

The interim rector when we started going was a divorced woman. Yeah, not gonna see that in the Catholic church, are we? It's different but totally logical, and that was one issue I had with Catholicism. I still remember being in the 5th and 6th grades getting ready for the weekly Mass (yep, I went to Catholic school). It rotated amongst the grades, and starting in 5th grade, you got to do much more of the Mass. Except girls (at the time) couldn't be altar boys. That really turned me off and kept me from participating. Not exactly an issue here, is it?

The new rector is now in place. In the Catholic Church, the bishop would have appointed a new priest, and here's hoping you liked him. Here, there was a search committee who decided what kind of a priest they wanted and then did a job search. They found their new guy in England and offered him the job. He had a choice. And so did the parish. What a concept! And so far, he seems to be fitting in quite nicely. Today was just week 3 though (and my first week not out of town or at a wedding since he's been here). And yeah, he's married and has two kids.

In the Catholic Church, there were always three Masses (at least at the churches I went to). Saturday afternoon around 5 and two Sunday morning services. At this church, we have no Saturday service except for the three picnic outdoor services they held -- which alone were way cool. The morning services also have a very different feel to them.

The 8am service has no singing. No opening hymn or communion or closing hymn at all. Some of the sung/chanted bits in Catholicism (Holy, holy, Holy! or Christ has died, Christ is risen..." for example) were simply said. Needless to say, couple no singing with twenty-one people, and we were out of there in thirty-eight minutes.

Now, I'm not saying that church should be a specific length, but I sort of have an agreed-upon contract. I'm going for somewhere in the neighborhood of an hour, give or take. Holidays are longer. It may be a bad attitude, but it's my expectation. The Catholic church has started singing everything which drove me nuts. And drove the average Mass to over an hour twenty. Since Mass was 11am, that meant missing almost the first half by the time you walked to your parked car forever away since there was no parking by the church because it's too big and then drove home. Sad, I know. But Sunday and football are sort of a tradition, too.

The 10:15 service at the new church is much more familiar, with even some of the same songs that I sang growing up (no comments on the musical director at the Catholic church who I swear chooses only the songs that he wrong and published and the ones that are the most difficult and unintuitive to sing -- and I like to sing and can read music well). It has a lot of families with children who frequently sit up in the front pew to play in the extra wide pew with the paper and markers and stuffed animals and cushions for children.

Yes, you heard me. Something to keep the children occupied while their parents worship. Granted, there's also a nursery (where I put the wee ones), but if you want your children with you or if they don't do well separated or if you're working on getting them to learn to pay attention in church, it's set up to help you. What a brilliant idea to get kids to not feel like church is punishment. Oh, and the nursery is free, too. I used to have to pay $2 per child per week. Just saying.

So yeah... we're switching. I don't have to go through all the fancy rites of christian initiation I would were I becoming Catholic. They accept that I'm Christian and baptized and a believer and move forward. I just have to make a date to talk to the new priest to walk through some of the finer points that I want to better understand (like they only have two sacraments versus the seven Catholics celebrate) and then officially register.

Even though we aren't going there for preschool, we'll still go for church. And I'm happy to be going to church again. It's been a long time.

It's Finally Summer

I know this because tonight was the first softball game of the season. Ahhhh, softball. To be able to pretend to be young again. Except for the prayers for no injuries before the game.

Yep, I’m in a church league. The various churches around my town play a non-competitive league where each church is a different team. We play every Tuesday for 8 weeks at the local park district, which means lights and real fields – a bonus, trust me. The home team provides the ump (and I’m proud to say that my husband is the team’s preferred ump), and we all do it in fun.

Except for one team – the Lutherans. I don’t think it’s a Lutheran thing; it’s just their coach. They’re the only team in the league where the coach isn’t a member of the team. He doesn’t even have a wife who plays on the team. But man, is he into it! For years, they were the best team in the league, or so I’ve been told. Last year was my first year in the league, and we beat their pants off. It wasn’t always pretty, as the coach gets a bit intense, but we beat them handily last year. And I’m really just being vain if I pretend that my playing last year had anything to do with beating them.

Even though I’m shopping for churches, I’m still playing with the Catholic church this year. In fact, I may have to beg to play with them again next year, as the Episcopalians are the one church I know if in town without a team. I don’t know that I’m quite up to starting a team from scratch, nor do I know that there’d be enough interest. But shhhh the team doesn’t know that I’m shopping for a new church. Yet.

So the team I play on apparently requested to play the Lutherans in the first game of the year. Amazingly, we had 16 women show up – for anyone who doesn’t play softball, this never happens. Our two coaches from last year weren’t able to make it, as they were both coaching their daughters’ teams, but that’s ok when you have so many others make it.

Since we didn’t have strong coaches on hand, the Lutherans took the field for infield practice before the game, even though we were home team and technically, it was ours to practice. But we’re Christian and don’t make an issue of it.

The game is a good one, as it usually is between us. First inning was 1-0 them. Second inning, we broke out for 5 runs. Third inning, we gave back three. Fourth inning, we gave back another two. And there it stayed at 6-5 for the next two innings. Unfortunately, the only reason that they had the lead was that our third baseman and shortstop both had bad innings.

My first two at bats were nothing to right home about. I tried the “Judy” bat my first at bat, since everyone on the team raves about it. I found out the hard way that it’s too short for me. And sadly, I vaguely remember learning that the hard way last year, too. The next at bat, the stud left fielder caught my beautifully hit ball. And the right fielder caught an even better hit ball the next time up – right fielders aren’t supposed to be able to catch in non-competitive softball leagues! My next at bat, I finally got it down and had a sweet single up the middle.

By the time we ended the sixth inning, it was just after 8:30. Our games are supposed to start at 7 on the dot (ours didn’t) and end at 8:30 so that the next team can play (no team waiting for the field). We also had an injury timeout, as one woman slid into third and jammed her ankle badly, and that took a good 10 to 15 minutes to get her stabilized and off the field. See, I told you we prayed for no injuries. Apparently we didn’t pray hard enough tonight!

Given the situation, we asked if they wanted to play the last inning. Their coach didn’t care one way or the other, and the team finally agreed to play. Rally caps went on for my team. They may only be visors, but you can turn those things upside down and backwards just as well as a regular ballcap!

One went down easy – short to first. The second batter reached on an error. The third batter fielders choiced the second batter at two. The fourth batter, also short to first. Phew!

And somehow, we started hitting. We got runners on. Eventually we reached two out, but we’d scored one run and tied the game. And yep, you guessed it, it was my turn to bat again. Gotta love that pressure. Of course, I didn’t realize that we’d already scored a run, as I’d been checking on our injured player when I realized I was on deck. It’s all good. I hit a single and managed to score another run, which ended the game. Yay!

And the first words out of the coach’s mouth? “Really, we won. This inning doesn’t count. Say what you want, but we won.” Ummm, dude, noncompetitive league and you agreed to play the last inning. Oh and we don’t count wins and losses.

When I got home and told my husband about the game, I asked if he could guess what team we played given their reaction at the end. Yeah… he sorta nailed it on the first try. Then again, the teams in our league don’t hold a candle to the unsportsmanlike activities I regularly witness at his games. Silver lining!