Childhood Traditions: We Climb Trees

Fall has arrived, as I admitted to myself on Monday.  The days are still decent though - the chill of Chicago winters has yet to arrive, thankfully - and we're spending as much time as possible outside.  The wee ones love to ride their bikes and go for walks with us and more.

Each morning as we wait for the bus to arrive, Little Miss immediately runs for the tree in our front yard and scales it.  She's my monkey, my athlete, my gymnast, my strong little girl who has no fear.  Mister Man has always held back.  As much as he wants to climb the tree, he can't.

I've been convinced for a long time that his "can't" is more a "won't" than anything else.  I know that he lacks core strength and that his coordination isn't the same as other kids' abilities, thank you autism, but we've been working at it, and I'm seeing a difference in a lot of things from his ability to now do a pushup when he really wants to the ability to do a bridge up (trust me, this is incredibly difficult if you have low core and shoulder strength).

He will run to the tree and grab the climbing brand and his feet will peddle uselessly against the trunk, unable to gain enough purchase to stay.  He quickly drops back down, unable to use his arms and shoulders to lever himself up and over that branch.  He's been frustrated by it, not just because of his failure to climb, but because his almost two years younger sister has been climbing this tree for two plus years now.

I love that he never gives up.

And last weekend, he asked for my help for the first time in a long time.  I explained again that he needs to bend his elbows so that he has a chance to use his strength to pull himself up.  He has a tendency to not realize what his arms and body can do and what they are doing, so he will hand walk his hands further up the tree, never bending his arms and pulling his body towards the tree, not realizing that this tactic is doomed to failure.

Nodding, he grabbed the branch and used his feet to get his body horizontal.  With my hands touching and supporting him - letting him know I was there were he to fall, but not pushing him at all - he remembered to bend his arms when I pointed it out.  And he pulled himself into the tree for the first time.  You have no idea how bright that smile was.

I helped him down after awhile, and he practiced it another few times, the last couple without my help to prove to him that he really was doing it all on his own.  And then he stayed up there to read a book, finding the most comfortable branch to hang out on.

He now runs to that tree each time we have a few spare minutes and scampers up it.  Or tries.  He was shocked the other morning after it had rained that the tree was too slippery to climb.  And I watch him struggle into that tree, knowing that he can do it and that he's figuring out that he needs to have faith in himself to accomplish more than he ever dreamed.

And that?  That right there is all I want from him in life.  Happy, challenged, with faith in himself.  It isn't a big dream, but it's the one I have for my children.  What is your dream for your child?

I'm Not The Only One With Stick-to-it-iveness

Brand new giveaway for e.l.f. cosmetics here.

And I have a chance to win tickets to The Emperor's New Clothes from the Chicago Shakespeare Theatre here for my Chicago friends.

***

I wrote the other day about how I'm trying to ensure the wee ones learn the value of persistence through my example, especially for Mister Man. He tends to be a perfectionist, and frequently doesn't want to try things unless he's pretty confident he'll succeed.

It's something we've been working on for quite awhile, and every once in awhile, we can see that it's really making a difference.

For example, Mister Man recently had a birthday party at our gym for one of his friends. The party started out in the pool area and later moved inside. The pool wasn't open only to the party but was filled with all sorts of parents and children - mostly children.

I was the one of only a few parents who had brought a suit and was prepared to get in the water with my child. Noting that the other parents were letting the children play together, I set a few ground rules for Mister Man (he had to stay where I could see him and he had to keep listening for me in case I had directions for him) then stood on the pool deck, watching.

After awhile, the pool had its safety break, and one of the lifeguards gathered up our group, announcing it was time for a swim test. The parents all looked at each other blankly - me included. We shrugged and went to the indoor pool where we learned that our children had to swim 25m solo without touching the bottom or they would have to have an adult within arm's reach in the pool.

Huh. This was new, but I'm all for it after having seen some of the antics pulled by kids and the near misses I've seen over the past few years belonging to that gym.

A few of the parents ducked out immediately saying their kids can't swim independently (ummm really? Your kids can't swim independently and you let them in a pool without you and with you only half supervising, if that?) and others confident their children could swim 25 feet.

I figured it was worth a try for Mister Man, since he'd been taking swim lessons for a couple years at that facility and was doing pretty well. Since he could swim any way he wanted, it didn't matter that he doesn't yet have the full coordination and strength to do a true crawl. I was going to let him, just to see what happened.

When the parents actually saw the pool and realized it was a full lap of 25 meters and not feet, several more backed out. Those remaining (along with other kid members of the gym) got in line to do the swim test.

I told Mister Man that he was able to swim however he wanted - crawl, backstroke, breast stroke or whatever, just that his feet couldn't touch the bottom.

As his turn came, he bravely jumped into the pool and came up sputtering and clearing his eyes (his usual routine), then he began doing his version of the breast stroke. I walked along the edge with him coaxing him along and reassuring him that he was doing great.

He took a couple breaks to tread water and catch his breath, but that's allowed (and apparently, I've been told most kids have a hard time getting the concept of treading water, but ... for whatever reason, he's great at it). He zig-zagged back and forth, crashing into the lane marker and the edge of the pool, but he didn't let it stop him.

As he got within ten feet of the end, I could see that he was getting pretty tired, but both the swim coach and I were cheering him on at that point - the other kids had all pretty much given up prior to that point.

He took another deep breath and continued pushing into the water until he gasped and made it to the wall at the end of the lane. Wow. Mister Man swam way more than 25 meters with all his back and forth, but officially - he succeeded.

In fact, he was the only kid in his class at the party who did it. He was awarded a bright yellow armband in recognition of his accomplishment, and you can't imagine the grin he had on his face!

He refused to take it off after the party, and he immediately called Daddy and Grandma and Grandpa to tell them all about what he did. They were pretty proud, too. Honestly, I wasn't sure if he could do it or not when he started, but I'm awfully glad I had him try and didn't put any negative thoughts into his head.

Next up? He's my future black belt!