How I Spent My Summer Vacation

Ok, so it's really October. And this isn't all I did. BUT I made the mistake of building a little sand sculpture while a bit ummm bored watching the wee ones play on the "beach" at our hotel yesterday. Mister Man saw it and thought it was the coolest thing ever. Obviously, I've never taken him to any museums outside the Kohl's Children's Museum.


He immediately begged me to make more. In fact, he requested specific sea creatures -- since we're in Florida and all. I now know why I never went into professional sand molding. I've heard they have contests. We do snow ones up by us, and I'd probably be pretty bad at those, too.


Regardless, I'll let you admire my works. Knowing that they're all sea creatures of some sort, let's see who can figure out what they all are. I do have pictures of them with identifying "real" creatures, but I think I'll hold off sharing that for just a bit.






















Looking at these again, I realize how bad an artist I really am. Squint hard. See the animals moving below the surface of the sand. Hey, we had fun!

Hired and Fired

David Letterman heard that I've been spending my time in Orlando, and he asked that I provide a witty, non-political Top 10 list. Oddly when on vacation, I don't tend to sleep well, so the witty part I may fall a bit short on, but I can at the very least do the non-political part, right?

As this may be my only gig for the beloved Mr. Letterman, let's get a good drumroll going, shall we?

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Top Ten Things You Need To Figure Out Before Going On Vacation:

Number 11: (ok so I thought of an extra one; I'm getting fired already!)
Check every clock in the room.
I've failed to do this before and been woken up at obscene hours by very loud radio alarms due to someone's really poor sense of humor. When I checked the clocks in our room this time, one was on the wrong time altogether and every other one had an alarm set to go off between 2 and 4am. Yeah, really funny, people.

Number 10:
Does where you're staying provide the typical hotel amenities?
Lucky me, the hotel I stayed at had a washer and dryer in the unit, including detergent. That meant I had to pack way fewer clothes than I would have otherwise, and with the way the airlines are jacking up fees on everything, less luggage is a good thing!

Unlucky me, the hotel provides shampoo and soap only. No conditioner. No lotion. Whoops. I was sort of counting on using the good Marriott products, as I love the citrus smell they have. See above on the less luggage part.

Number 9:
Find something to do if the weather isn't exactly what you planned.
"Record lows" droned the tv weathermen the last two days we were in Orlando. Granted, record lows for Orlando aren't quite the same as they are for, say, Anchorage, but when you're planning on spending your days outside at the pool... well, let's just say we didn't spend our last two days at the pool. And Orlando is sort of an outdoor kind of place.

Number 8:
When traveling, bring along a jacket and long pants, even if you don't think you'll need them.
See above on the record lows thing. And honestly, even when you're traveling in a climate that stays warm like it's supposed to, indoor places like restaurants tend to accidentally turn the air conditioning down to meat locker. As my mommy always says, Don't forget your restaurant sweater!

Number 7:
Don't forget a thermometer and Tylenol, especially if traveling with children.
So you all heard about Little Miss's ER trip for her burst eardrum. I didn't mention our other incidents with her. While on Zithromyacin for six straight days -- not missing a dose, mind you -- Little Miss had a fever of at least 100 degrees. I have a feeling a visit to the pediatrician is in my near future. And on Tuesday morning, she was flying like Tinkerbell with my mom. I didn't realize it as I bent down to pick up a dropped piece of paper, but she was flying to me. I figured that out when I stood up right into her mouth. My head still hurts. Fortunately, as we all know by now, mouth injuries bleed a lot, but that doesn't always mean they're serious.

Number 6:
Travel with the magazines and Pull-Ups in your suitcase.
When you pack for your trip on the way to vacation, you always pack well. Things fit. It isn't too heavy, and it's all good. Somehow by the time you make it to the end of your vacation and try to repack, it's a different suitcase. My like the pants you wore on the trip down, it somehow magically shrunk. By traveling with magazines that you read and then discard and the Pull-Ups that are well used and discarded, you've suddenly created extra room and relieved weight in your suitcase. But shhhh don't let anyone else in your traveling party in on your secret.

Number 5:
A flashlight makes a great tool while on vacation.
Inevitably, your room will have a light that inconveniently doesn't work. Voila, flashlight! Or you need to find a way to keep the wee ones quiet while others are sleeping -- flashlights into a darkened bedroom for a "monster" search! Or better yet, go on a Woozle hunt at night to sneak in some exercise!

Number 4:
Find out if your hotel is at all under construction when you'll be there.
The hotel we stayed at has some neat features. They have the duck shaped paddleboats that you can go out on the lagoon with and burn off some of those traveling calories. And they have surrey bicycles that are great for the whole family to use when it's getting too chilly for the pool. And they have one of those huge climbing mazes that are a great way to burn off excess energy after dinner and before bedtime. Yeah. All but the boats were closed due to construction. And the boats were in a different location that some people had a difficult time locating. It's a good thing that no wee ones remembered this and had been promised some of these activities. And if you believed that, I've got a bridge to sell you!

Number 3:
Figure out where the pools and activities and restaurants are around the hotel.
This one I figured out when staying at the Luxor many moons ago. I had requested a pyramid room because that just sounded so cool. I went to the desk bleary eyed early the next morning to request a move to a tower room, as the noise never stopped. When I look around at some of the rooms by the pool, or when I listen to the karaoke and bar music, I heave a big sigh of relief that I made sure our room overlooked the golf course instead. Granted, there are vehicles running by outside our room regularly all night long, but any room would hear those.

Number 2:
Make sure you liberally use that "Do Not Disturb" sign.
Wee ones need to nap? Stick that sign in the door. You're taking a shower? Stick that sign in the door. You're eating breakfast? Stick that sign in the door! I have a huge pet peeve of being interrupted by housekeeping, especially on the day I'm checking out when I clearly haven't checked out yet and it's 8am. Of course that also means that we went without housekeeping service for three of our eleven days, but that's a small price to pay. No comment on housekeeping actually calling our room at 3:30 to see if we wanted housekeeping service that day. Guess who had been sound asleep at 3:30. Maybe I should add a tip about turning off the ringer on the phone!

And the Number One Thing To Know Before Going On Vacation is....
Always travel with grandparents.
I have not had to take a single child to the nasty, yucky, putrid public bathrooms in and around Orlando. For one who detests public restrooms, this is a major blessing. And I think I brushed only one set of teeth the whole trip. The best part? The Disney Classics book that was read 18 kajillion times? I only read one of those stories.

And there you have it. My very own top 10 -- ok, 11 -- list! And now you understand why I've been immediately relieved of my duties by Mister Letterman. Sorry, sir! I know this wasn't up to snuff, but I tried.

PS We had a full kitchen in the hotel, and I could see where people would leave a lot of stuff behind -- their pool toys, extra food, souveniers they forgot, etc. I had noticed that when I saw housekeeping carts in the hallways, I noticed that frequently some of what guests had forgotten included soft-sided coolers. It took until Day 8 before I realized that the housekeeping staff owned those coolers. And that they put whatever leftover food they wanted to keep in those coolers. In one way, I was sort of hugely creeped out by that. On the other hand, I'm really glad that some food at least isn't going to waste!

Everyone Has A Job

In Florida, I was told by two oh so precious and precocious children, everyone has a job.

So what are the jobs, I asked innocently.


Wellllll, Grandpa is in charge of food.


Here, we made the mistake of allowing my dad to go to the grocery store by himself. To pick up some chicken for dinner. He came back with three 8 piece fried chicken dinners, a container of potato salad, and a massive cherry coffeecake. You don't want to know the experiences I had going to the store with him. Egads!


Grandma is in charge of the dishwasher.



Mommy is in charge of cooking the food. No picture, of course, because when is there EVER a picture of a mommy?


Mister Man is in charge of putting his trains away before we leave the room each day.



Little Miss is in charge of being a good mommy to Snowy.



And, I was informed on the way to dinner, Grandma is also in charge of Margaritas! (And yes, I had a picture of Grandma at dinner with four margaritas in front of her -- the 2 for 1 special where they have to deliver the second when they deliver the first in Florida -- but someone deleted it.)

Step Away From The Golf Club

Spending time in Florida with my parents and the wee ones has been interesting so far. Luckily, we've had no more repeats of blood coming out anyone's ears. But it reminds me of some times growing up. When I was younger, my parents had a condo in Florida. Granted, it was near Tampa and not Orlando, but whatever.

We would spend most of the month of August there every year. Do you remember being a teenager? A moody, brooding teenager? Who was spending an entire month in great proximity to her family with friend far, far away? No? Can you pretend?

My dad reminded me of this lovely experience yesterday. Perfect timing for Momma Kat!

Remember that I'm somewhere in the neighborhood of 12-14 at the time. And it's hot and sticky, and we've been stuck with each other for a very long time already -- since we always drove from Minnesota to Tampa. You wonder why I will now not do road trips.

Admittedly, I'm a bit of a perfectionist. And I might be just a tiny bit competitive. Maybe.

We decided -- we being my parents, my sister and I, and the two friends we had brought down to entertain us -- to go mini-golfing one afternoon. Mini-golf is a great activity. It's easy, everyone can do it, and it has some funky things about it that keep it interesting.

Well, maybe for those people who can get the ball in the hole. Did you know that you're only allowed 8 swings in mini-golf? I do.

Hole one... pretty much everyone got a hole in one or at least under par. I was five strokes before getting the ball in the hole. Bummer.

Hole two... more holes in one. None for me. This was, I think, my first 8 shot of the day.

Hole three... seriously, more holes in one? This game is not that hard. What's the problem? Why am I the only one ending up with the stupid high scores? I've outscored people's entire games on just this hole alone. I start grousing and possibly stomping to the next hole.

Hole four... yeah, more holes in one for others. I start to get what feels like incredibly patronizing advice from my mom and turn my ire on her. And I didn't get the ball into the hole, no matter how hard I tried.

Hole five... I've given up by now and am just randomly swinging my club. The friends make a comment, and I snap back. They're now irritated with me, and I get a warning of some sort from my mom. Whatever.

Hole six... I hit the ball -- not on purpose -- out of the mini-golf hole area. It takes me some time to find it and start over. They make me count that shot but also make me tee off again. I'm very crabby.

Hole seven... Again, I don't get the ball into the hole while EVERYone else gets a hole in one.

This is where my dad intervenes and tells me to quit playing and that I'm ruining it for everyone else. Looking back, he's right that I was ruining it for everyone else, but I was so frustrated. It's a stupid easy game and yet I can't do it no matter how hard I try or don't try. And other people were making fun of me, which isn't exactly easy on a teenager.

Looking back, it's possible I may have been slightly PMS'y. Maybe.

I wasn't allowed to return to the car, nor to wait for them at the entrance of the mini-golf area. I had to follow them around with all their stupid holes-in-one while I couldn't do anything. And when they got to hole eighteen, wanna bet as to whether or not they won a free game? Yeah, I thought you'd guess right on that one.

Luckily, my mom had some sense and convinced them to let us come back another day for the free game. Maybe looking at my face and my attitude (I vaguely remember tears at some point along with a "it's just a game" speech) may have helped to convince them.

On the way home, my dad forbade me from ever playing mini-golf again. I wonder why he came up with this edict. And I never played mini-golf again. Ever. Actually, that's not true. I played once about three years ago. It wasn't horrible. I wasn't great, but I did get a couple holes-in-one. And I won a free game. I never turned in that free game token though.

Fun In Florida!

I'm remembering how wonderful it is to travel with my parents. Really, it's traveling with another set of hands... that the wee ones adore... who insist on paying for most things. This is definitely the way to vacation -- until it's 9:17pm and the wee ones aren't yet in bed, even though they're exhausted and normal bedtime is between 6 and 6:30.

The plane trip was great. We were able to get five seats in the same row, and the wee ones both insisted they wanted to sit by Grandpa. OK! Grandma and I sat in the across the aisle and read. Well, until an hour into the flight when Little Miss decided that she wanted to sit with Grandma and have Grandma read to her, so we switched places and I was now next to Grandpa. I continued reading. The grandparents entertained. Ahhhhh...

And I realized that I forgot my camera cable, so no pictures until we get back -- unless I can convince my husband to bring the cord with him when he flies down on Friday for the weekend.

Once we arrived, we checked into the hotel. Unfortunately, the hotel is mega under renovation, so the buildings my parents stayed in last time they were here were closed. They put us in a building far away, which is fine. Until we got to the room and it smelled funky. And the carpeting was wet from where (I hope) they'd just shampooed it. And the pool it was by had no shallow/kiddie area for the wee ones to play in. We ended up switching rooms to an area that doesn't have quite the same view outside, but I'm fine with that.

Finally settled, my dad and I went to the Publix to get food. We had a nice long list, as we have a full kitchen where we're staying and plan to not really eat out while we're here. My dad is uncontrollable. He gets so much food, such unhealthy food, such large quantities of food... but I was able to at least sneak in the whole grain Goldfish over normal Goldfish, whole grain spaghetti, skim milk and so forth.

Things I learned about Florida (ok, the particular Publix we shopped at): food in Florida is frickin' expensive! The watermelon my dad insisted on buying -- that I had previously decided was not worth it -- cost $9.99. The ham and turkey my dad got for sandwiches was $9.19 per pound. The tomatoes that I ultimately passed on were $2.49 per pound. Milk was $3.59. Bananas were $0.69 per pound. All of this is so much more than I would ever have paid for anything in Chicago. And I'm still trying to figure it out. It was primarily the fresh foods that were out of whack. Florida is in the sunbelt where they actually grow food, right? At least I got a pineapple for $2.99, which isn't so bad.

Poor Mister Man was so exhausted by the time my dad and I got back that he refused to go to the pool. I've never seen him back away from an opportunity to spend time in water, except for a bath when he was younger. Poor guy was exhausted! Little Miss, my dad and I went down to the pool nearest our building and spent about 30 minutes there before Little Miss was too cold to keep swimming.

Today was much more fun. Sorta.

We spent lots and lots of time in the pool this morning doing splashy cannonballs and playing shark and swimming with the noodles and more. We kept it up until everyone was so hungry for lunch that we got crabby. Oops. After lunch, everyone went down for a nap (and I so wish that I had, too).

When we woke up from naps at almost five, we decided to go hit the sand area and play there with the suitcase full of sand toys that my mom had packed. Little Miss asked me why her ear was bleeding as we walked out the door, but I brushed her off.

Silly me. I discovered shortly thereafter that she had blood coming out her ear! Apparently, I'm a bad mom. But hey, what's a vacation without a trip to the ER? Luckily the concierge gave me good directions to a hospital about five minutes away. Bonus points: it's part of my insurance network.

Long story short: very sketchy ER. Very interesting people watching. We were in and out of there in less than two hours, which I felt wasn't too bad. Little Miss has a perforated eardrum. They aren't sure if it happened on the flight yesterday or if her tube came out sometime today and caused trauma on the way out. Either way, she has it infected, so she's on antibiotics. The good news is that she can still go in the pool so long as she has her earplugs in. Can you imagine if they'd said no water by her ear until it healed? Shoot me now!

So yeah... we have five days of antibiotics, and good girl, she took her medicine like a champ tonight. And yeah, I'll be making that ENT appointment that I've been putting off. We get back on the 30th, so here's hoping there's an opening on Halloween. Poor kid!

Three Wishes

Apparently my children in Florida are finally starting to miss me, as today they deigned to talk to me for the first time since they left.

Little Miss told me about her potty habits, as she’s getting quite proud of herself. My mom is being brave, really, much braver than I’d be. Packing for the wee ones at the last minute became a bit hectic, and while they took Lil Swimmers and diapers (that I had gone to Costco to buy the night before since we were about out, oops!), my mom decided against taking any Pull-ups. Apparently the whole potty thing is really sinking in though. My mom is using Lil Swimmers as Pull-ups for her all day and not just when they’re at the pool.

Given what I know of Lil Swimmers and their … design, this would not be my choice of a Pull-up. My first summer as a mom, I took Mister Man to the local spray park and didn’t change him out of his Lil Swimmer before we left, since it was dry at the time. For anyone who doesn’t know, Lil Swimmers are designed to hold in only one bodily function. Because they’re designed to get wet and not expand like a puffer fish gone made at the first sign of water, they hold no water in, if you catch my drift.

However, she appears to be doing well with my mom’s little experiment, so we may not even need to break open the brand new box of Pull-ups I bought last Wednesday. Little Miss may be ready for underwear by the time she gets home. Apparently the almanac my husband found as a joke that had the best potty training times for April between the 24th and 30th was actually right.

Then I got to talk to Mister Man.

Mister Man: I made three wishes at the wishing well. Grandma gave me three whole coins to drop in, and I did and I made three wishes.
Me: That’s great. What did you wish for?
Mister Man: My first wish, I wished for more ice cream from the ice cream store. The ice cream here is really good, Mom. I’m going to bring you some home as a present.
Me: I’m sure Grandma and Grandpa will take you to get more ice cream before you come home. And that’s really sweet to offer to bring me some, but you don’t need to bring me any. I think it might melt.
Mister Man: Ok, I’ll eat your ice cream then and just tell you about it.
Me: Sounds good. What was your second wish?
Mister Man: I wished for another baby sister.
Me: (choking) Really? Do you like having Little Miss as a sister that much?
Mister Man: Yep. I want another one now, too.
Me: (wondering where on earth he got this idea and freaking out because his cousin at age four accurately predicted his sex from the first ultrasound and ditto with Little Miss’ sex at her first ultrasound and maybe kids have this sixth sense but I am really really good with just two children!) I don’t think that’s going to happen, Sweetie. What’s wish number three?
Mister Man: I wished we could go on another bike ride, but not a bike ride at home. I want to go on a bike ride here in Florida. They have bicycles here with four seats, can you believe that? And there are lots of speed bumps and stop signs, too, can you believe that?
Me: I can believe it. Those bikes sound like fun.
Mister Man: The speed bumps are my favorite thing in the whole world.
Me: Really? Even more favorite than Thomas (the Tank Engine, for the uninitiated)?
Mister Man: The speed bumps aren’t Grandma’s favorite though. She says they’re so bumpy they make her teeth fall out. Her teeth don’t really fall out though; she’s just very silly.
Me: Yes, she is silly sometimes, isn’t she?
Mister Man: Uh-huh. BYE!

And that conversation ends.

So apparently he thinks he wants another sister. My mom did clarify for me. She asked if he wanted to trade Little Miss in for a different sister (which I could see him wanting to do sometimes). Nope, he wants another one. He likes the ones he has and is ready for a second sister. I'm not.

My only guess is that two of his friends in preschool have somewhat young siblings, one who was born a couple months ago and one who is about 8 months. Plus, Little Miss’ best friend at preschool has a one year old sister, too.

I have to wonder though if he knows that we have four bedrooms upstairs and that a new baby would mean sharing rooms. And since he’s the boy, if it were a sister, the baby would share with Little Miss and not with him. Sometimes, he’s smart like that.

It would figure though. I just sold my crib a month or so ago. All the baby clothes have now been given to a battered women’s shelter. Little Miss has a full size bed in her room and no room for a second bed or furniture. Oh yeah, and I got the warning from a friend that everyone he knows is pregnant with third children, including those who weren’t expecting them. Hmmm.

Can everyone send me some good mojo to keep things at the status quo? I think I need some help, as things are not stacking in my favor right now.

Disney Angst!

To preface this, my parents are great. When it was just Mister Man and I worked full time, my parents watched him 2 days a week, meeting my husband at his school and taking him to their house, then returning him at the end of the day. Even now, my parents watch both of them one day a week when I’m working (the other two days – like today – they’re in daycare), and they babysit all the time for us.

A couple years ago, they asked to take Mister Man to Tampa for a long weekend. I was fine with that. They had a great time, and it all worked out for everyone. Since then, we’ve gone back to the same hotel – my dad doesn’t like change – several times with both kids, sometimes with hubby and me along and sometimes with my sister to help wrangle the wee ones.

I’m in a wedding in Houston next month, and I have the option of bringing my children to the nighttime wedding. Uhhh, no. I chose to pass on that option for a number of reasons, the first being that their bedtime is before the ceremony even begins!

Luckily, my parents were ok watching the wee ones, since I’m going down on Thursday, and hubby has classes to teach and isn’t exactly around to get them to preschool and the like. After all arrangements had been made, my parents asked if they could just take the kids to Florida while we were both gone anyway – since it’d been all the way since October since they’d gone last. That was fine with me, too.

Then I got the phone call from my mom. “Well, the hotel in Tampa had no rooms for the time we wanted to go, so we decided to go to Orlando instead. We’re flying down on Thursday morning and will be back the day before Mother’s Day.” Uhhh, what? Wait a second, that is NOT what I’d agreed to. Ten days gone from me? Missing over a week of school (granted, it’s preschool)? And Orlando? Land of Disney?

My parents have an issue with overstepping their bounds. Their argument is that they’re grandparents, so they’re allowed to spoil the kids. I understand that logic, but the problem is that they see the kids easily two or three times a week and spend a lot of time with them. My kids have actually asked if they can go live with Grandma and Grandpa. The difference lies in frequency, in my mind.

As I gritted my teeth, I asked why they were going for so long. Apparently the flights were somewhat expensive, so they wanted to amortize the cost of the flights over more days. And had already booked the flights. And the hotel. Fortunately, it’s a hotel that’s not a Disney property, but not much is far from Disney in Orlando. I politely requested that they not go to Disney for the first time without me. My mom’s reaction? “They’re young; they won’t even remember it.” Uhhh, sure. Mister Man with the mind like a steel trap who remembers everything won’t remember this. Oh, and that isn’t the point!

Finally, she responded that they’d likely spend most days hanging out at the pool, but that probably one or two days they’d end up at Disney. “You know your dad. You can’t tell him what to do.” URG!

I’ve since had a few more conversations with my mom. I think she finally gets it, but she’s falling back on her argument that my dad will do what he wants to do and I have to clear it by him. Yesterday would have been the perfect time to talk to him. I even got to his house early before the movie (see yesterday’s post) so that we could chat about it. Of course, that just meant that he had more time to get to the theater early. And the theater wasn’t exactly conducive to that conversation. Afterwards, Mister Man was so exhausted and whiny, we fed him yogurt and brought him home.

I still have a month before they leave to impress upon them the severe disagreement I have about them taking my kids to Disney first without asking me, but I need to get moving. Any suggestions on how to handle? I can’t and don’t want to tell my parents that they just can’t see my kids or do stuff with them for a number of reasons, but they do not get boundaries.