Thursday, January 1, 2009

Sorry, Mom!

I look around at Little Miss sometimes, and I know I'm in for it.

I've known this for years. Literally. At ten months old, she was walking. Ok, running. She would pick up one of Mister Man's favorite toys. Once she'd caught his attention, she'd hold it out to one side. If he ran towards the toy to get it, she'd clutch it to her chest, turn the opposite way, stick her elbows out and run like a star running back with the football who just deked out the defense. Ten months, people.

It hasn't really gotten much better. I describe her as having a lot of personality. She's quite the spitfire. This will definitely get her far in life, but I know I'm in for it. I'm really worried about her teen years. I never snuck out. I never drank in high school. I got straight As. My mom never had to worry about me.

People always say that your children are getting you back for what you did to your parents. Well, I was a good kid, so how is Little Miss retaliation for what I've done to my mom?

I had to think really hard about it.

I think what drives my mom the most nuts is that I want to raise the wee ones differently from how she raised my sister and I. She feels like I'm repudiating everything she does and that I don't like her or respect her. It isn't true in the least, and I feel badly that she feels that way. I've tried to explain it to her, but she tends to be a bit of a martyr. She sees what she wants to see.

She worries that by working I'm not spending enough time with the wee ones. She was the one who really pushed for me to quit my job when the wee ones were younger. She quit her job when my sister was born (15 months after I was) and stayed at home. It drives her nuts that staying at home wasn't enough for me. To be honest, I'd be ok with staying home now, but given the economy, I'm not giving up my paycheck while I have the option!

And my mom goes nuts about sleeping. There wasn't much research done on sleeping when I was a child. Sleep is important and all, but you made do. I, on the other hand, am a firm believer in sleep -- and a lot of it -- when it comes to the wee ones. It's when their brains develop, and I can see a vast difference in their behavior when they have enough sleep versus when they don't. I am constantly asking and telling my mom to let the wee ones sleep more. She doesn't believe they need it, and she hates that I question her "parenting" of my children. My parents just watched the wee ones for five days and not a single nap was taken.

And I think it really drives my mom nuts when I cook. My mom was never really a cook. She doesn't really like food and eats purely as fuel. Growing up, we'd have a gallon sized Ziploc of cooked spaghetti in the fridge that we'd eat for dinner for days on end. I cook. And I enjoy cooking. I tend to do it from scratch because I like it, and my dad I think likes much of my cooking better than the same versions that my mom makes. And yep, it drives her crazy.

As I think more on it, maybe Little Miss is payback from what I'm doing now and will do in the future to my parents -- especially my mom. That or I've really blocked out a lot of my childhood. Nahhhh! It couldn't be that!

So what did you do to torture your parents? What drove them crazy?


Ronnica January 1, 2009 at 11:37 PM  

I don't have kids yet, so it'll be interesting to see what issues may crop up between me and my mom then. I was a pretty good kid as well, mainly getting in trouble when I would butt heads with my mom.

Cookie January 2, 2009 at 12:42 AM  

I don't think you want to hear all of the "issues" I have with my mom. But let's just say that I had "fun" in high school and still got good grades ;) But most of the time when my kids misbehave, my husband looks at his feet and mumbles, "I did that when I was a kid." So it's not always the mom's fault!

MaBunny January 2, 2009 at 8:27 AM  

My mom didn't work either until I was 16yrs old. I relished her driving me to and from school and being there as I got older when i got home by walking. When she went back to work, if I got sick it was my grandmother who got to watch me.
Both of them cooked everything from scratch - including homemade noodles and such. I never ate hamburger helper till I met Chris - nor had I ever tasted Spam, lol. Nor did I have a liking for Chili. Now my mother wrinkles her nose if i say I'm amking Hamburger helper, lol. Although she has been nice enough to try it.
We don't eat it all the time, just on the occasion when its either close to paycheck time or I don't feel like whipping up any other spcatacular feast.
My mom and I got along well enough when I was a teen, except my mouth - it always got me in trouble. Also, she would daily check the mileage on my car and could not figure out how I put so many miles on it just driving to school and my boyfriends house - she didn't inclue the cruising we did at lunch, and before school hehe.
Don't worry, not many moms are stay at home anymore, and I thinkg there are advantages to it and cons... just like anything else in life. You know best what your kids need. I don't let Nicole have alot of sweets, but when shes at my moms I know she gets icecream daily! go figure, my mom says that is what being a grandma is all about.

Angela January 2, 2009 at 10:14 AM  

LOL What drove my mom crazy? Probably everything, there for a while, but basically I just always wanted to argue everything. In that snotty tone that only teenagers can really perfect!

Michelle January 2, 2009 at 9:56 PM  

Ronnica - It's always fun to see how the dynamics change as we get older and life changes... good luck!

Cookie - Lucky you! And ooo, I forgot about my husband. HE was trouble. He did some things that I still can't quite believe. It's all HIS fault ;)

MaBunny - True, all true. And interesting that your mom kept tabs on the mileage! My mom does the same kind of thing except that she sees the wee ones on a far more regular basis than allows the ice cream and such to be a "treat."

Angela - Ooo, there is a lovely tone there. I suppose it's possible that I may have utilized that tone once or twice myself. Maybe ;)

KatBouska January 2, 2009 at 10:47 PM  

My Mom is pretty good about accepting that I raise my kids a little differently than she does. I'm more like you I think...naps are crucial in this house! They do me as much good as they do them! :)

Michelle January 3, 2009 at 1:30 PM  

Mama Kat - You're lucky. And with the daycare, I don't know how you'd get through the day without naps! Good to know I'm not the only sleep nazi ;)

Anonymous January 4, 2009 at 5:24 PM  

I sounds like your a great mother and Your mom needs someone to mother, so your still it. Continue to push your way on your wee ones and kiss you mom often.

Michelle January 4, 2009 at 10:00 PM  

Elftea - Thanks. It's always nice to hear encouragement. And they got plenty of kisses today :)

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