Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Mom, You're Worth It!

Hey Moms, this is for you. Read this all the way through. Really.

Think about what you've done so far this morning.

Did you make sure you got your children up this morning? Did you get them dressed? Fed them a nutritious breakfast? Did you make sure their teeth were brushed? Did you find something fun for them to do, making sure they're entertained and happy?

On school days, do you pack the lunches, get out the boots and mittens and hats and coats? Do you make sure that all the homework was done, permission slips signed, and paperwork dealt with in the backpack?

Before they go to bed tonight, will you read to them? Play with them? Make sure they've eaten a well-balanced diet, as much as a struggle as that might be? Were baths taken, teeth brushed again, all loveys accounted for and tucked in? Will you help with homework? Will you cook a dinner you know they'll like?

Now let's think about what we've done for ourselves, shall we?

Huh. That was a short list, wasn't it?

If we're lucky, we took a shower. Hopefully, we got teeth brushed, and maybe we threw on a little makeup. I skipped breakfast because I didn't have time. How about you?

When was the last time you read a grownup book for fun? Was the dinner something you relished, or was it something that you knew your kids would eat? Other than rushing from place to place playing the chaffeur and running errands, did you get anything done on your list of things you want to do?

I know I didn't.

Then I look around the house, and I look at me. I'm frazzled, and I'm tired. And I can feel that I'm starting to get cranky. Raise your hand if you make a great parent when you're tired, frazzled and cranky. Me neither.

I think I'm starting to find the solution, and I hope you'll join with me. Today, I'm going to do something for myself. Maybe I'll paint my nails. Maybe I'll have a glass of wine and take a bath. Perhaps I'll sit down when the wee ones are playing and read a chapter -- just one -- from a book I've been waiting awhile to read.

It doesn't have to be a big thing, and it certainly doesn't have to be expensive. The important thing is that I've done it for me. And I'll feel happier and more relaxed afterwards. Then I can go back to tending the wee ones and running the household as I normally do. And I'm a better mom for having done so.

Today is New Years Eve. It's tradition to make a resolution, and I think I know what mine will be next year. Every day, I am going to do something for myself. Just one little thing. And more importantly, I will not feel guilty for doing so. I'm hoping that this is a resolution that will be far easier to keep than the more typical one of losing weight. I know it will definitely be more fun.

So who's with me? What will your resolution be this year?

101 comments:

Cookie December 31, 2008 at 12:34 PM  

Umm... Maybe it's because my kids are a little older or maybe because I'm lazy, but I do read books just for fun, although it's at night after the kids are in bed. I didn't feed them breakfast this morning. My older one can pour a bowl of cereal for each of them. And even then, it's not nutritious, today was corn pops. I didn't even get the dressed this morning. They did it themselves :S
Last Year I resolved to start using the cloth bags at the grocery store. And I actually stuck to it! This year I think I'm going to vow to not send out Christmas cards. Ask me next January how they went ;)

Holly December 31, 2008 at 12:38 PM  

I am with ya! My son is almost 7 and I am just now to the point of doing a little something for myself without feeling guilty! We all need to do this and feel good about it! Good luck and happy New Year!

MaBunny December 31, 2008 at 1:12 PM  

Nicole is a bit older, so she can get her own breakfast for the most part, and she isnt' here this week!
Her and I read together alot, and we all play board games.
I do usually read alot - and crochet. But I like having mommy/daughter days....
hope your day turns out like you like it. as for resolutions i'm not sure yet..

Steph December 31, 2008 at 1:39 PM  

I'm with you!!! As a matter of fact I am getting started on me right now, I am off to take a mch needed nap.

Jen December 31, 2008 at 5:22 PM  

I'm with you! I recently decided the same thing....that I need some "me time". I've decided to join a book club and find the time to read the books. I'm also going to try to get myself to bed earlier instead of staying up late to get stuff done around the house. Thanks for the great reminder about taking care of ourselves!! :) Happy New Year!

ElfTea December 31, 2008 at 6:08 PM  

Happy New Year!!!
May 2009 be the start of a great time in your lives. I wish you health of mind and body. May your Resolutions for the New Year be attainable. May all mothers and care givers get some love back from these we love and care for.

Veggie Mom December 31, 2008 at 7:32 PM  

And, being the Mom that I am, I'm a Nervous Nelly tonite. Both girls are going "out" for New Years. Guess I've got a long nite/morning ahead of me! Hope you and yours Have the Happiest of New Years!

Michelle December 31, 2008 at 7:58 PM  

Cookie - You're giving me hope that someday I'll be able to read for the fun of it. Yay to you for using cloth bags. I have two that I'm getting better about using (or I carry out with no bag sometimes), but I don't do it enough. Good luck with no sending out cards ;)

Holly - Good for you for doing things for yourself without the guilt. Keep it up!

MaBunny - Good luck finding your resolution. And I like the reading together with Nicole. I hope that we'll get there someday as a family! They do love being read *to* at least.

Steph - Enjoy the nap. I'm jealous!

Jen - Ooo, a book club sounds delicious. Enjoy it! And going to be earlier is a really good thing to do. And one I need to work on, too....

ElfTea - Thank you! Happy New Year to you, too! I love your "toast"

Veggie Mom - Ooo, I can so understand that. Good luck with the girls! I hope they come home happy and safe.

Mary December 31, 2008 at 8:27 PM  

Good luck with your New Year's Resolution! Doing something for myself is hard! And doing it without guilt is even more difficult!

My resolution is to lose my baby weight. No fun. But, it's necessary.

blueviolet January 1, 2009 at 6:51 AM  

I think your resolution is wonderful! I hope you find time every day for that. Happy new Year!

Jay @halftime lessons January 1, 2009 at 8:07 AM  

I resolve to read your blog more...nice work on this post, Michelle!!

Happy New Year!!
Jay

morninglight mama January 1, 2009 at 8:23 AM  

Yeah, I hear you on the doing something for yourself thing--- your daily list sounded all too familiar, although I have to admit that I find time pretty regularly to read for pleasure... otherwise this mommy would be certifiably insane. :)

Oh, my resolution is oh-so-pathetically-typical... gonna drop 15 more pounds and lose this droopy, post-3-pregnancies belly!

Happy New Year!

Michelle January 1, 2009 at 10:29 AM  

Mary - It is hard, but I think you've got it harder, especially with a newborn. Good luck with your resolution!

Blueviolet - Thank you! Today my goal is to find time to get to the gym since I haven't been in awhile. The trouble is I have people coming over this afternoon and I still need to figure out what food I have in the house after being gone for ummm five days :)

Jay - Hey, now that's a resolution even *I* can live with. Thanks ;) Happy New Year to you!

morninglight mama - Well yeah... I'd sorta hope that with the book reviews you post that you'd do some reading! I'd be a little shocked if you didn't. Good luck with your resolution.

JHS January 1, 2009 at 12:29 PM  

That's a great resolution and I hope you stick to it!

Your other commenters are right, though. It definitely gets easier when the kids are older, in part because they stop wanting to hang out with you and want to be with their friends. You will eventually look at your spouse on the first night that all of the kids are out of the house doing things on their own and ask yourselves, "What do we do now?" As I remember it, we slept. :-)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Kellan January 1, 2009 at 5:07 PM  

This is a great post - great message!

Happy New Year to you and your family! I hope to see lots of you in 2009!

Kellan

kisatrtle January 1, 2009 at 5:59 PM  

I'm with you! One guilt free thing a day.

Karen January 1, 2009 at 6:55 PM  

I don't do resolutions any longer, but if I did I'd commit to being healthier as a family and doing more together.

Michelle January 1, 2009 at 10:35 PM  

JHS - Oooo, sleep sounds lovely! Thanks for the hope on that one. And a Happy New Year to you, too!

Kellan - Thanks, I appreciate it. Happy New Year to you. And you know you'll see me :)

kisatrtle - Go for it! Good luck to you, too!

Karen - I understand that one. They're rough too often. I do like your ideas though, definitely along the right path. Good luck!

Oh2122 January 2, 2009 at 11:37 PM  

This is the hardest thing to do as a mom. Even when I do take quiet time for myself, recently it's been about holiday chores or folding laundry.

It's so time to change that.

Michelle January 3, 2009 at 1:28 PM  

Oh2122 - Umm, when you're doing chores or folding laundry that is *not* doing something for yourself! It doesn't count. Here's hoping you find a way to change that.

Mama Kat January 4, 2009 at 5:34 PM  

I plan to drink more this year...I don't drink nearly enough.

TattooedMinivanMom January 4, 2009 at 5:51 PM  

Hi There! Never been here before. ElfTea told me to read your post. I love it! My resolution is also to take better care of MYSELF!

And like MamaKat said, drink more...but I mean water...I'm not a lush like her :) (Kidding MamaKat)

Michelle January 4, 2009 at 10:03 PM  

MamaKat - Oooo, that's a good one. I'd be right there with you, (ok ignore the post from today with all my margarita drinking!) except for those pesky calories. I have a hard time justifying them :)

Tattooed Minivan Mom - Welcome! I hope you come back again to visit. Glad you like the post, and good luck taking care of yourself! It's hard! And I think I'm off to refill my water bottle. Again. Now.

Betsy January 29, 2009 at 1:17 AM  

Happy SITS Day!

Mrs. Jelly Belly January 29, 2009 at 1:22 AM  

Good advice - now that my kids are grown and (almost) gone, every day is all about me. :)

{Katie Lane} January 29, 2009 at 1:25 AM  

Amen.

Louisa January 29, 2009 at 1:42 AM  

this was a really great post and just what I needed to read today. thanks!

Jamie January 29, 2009 at 2:53 AM  

I personally am not a mom but I can totally relate to parts of this post. Great post!

Laurel January 29, 2009 at 3:10 AM  

So how's this going a month later? I hope you are able to do it most days - you deserve it!

Eve January 29, 2009 at 4:34 AM  

Great post, I can totally relate! I have been trying to make sure I stop and have a little "me" time every day! :)

http://allaboutmeandabagofchips.typepad.com/my_weblog/

Preston January 29, 2009 at 5:10 AM  

My daughter is all grown up but I remember. And I remember when she was still wetting the bed. I had to get up 40 minutes earlier before work to put her in the tub and change the sheets on her bed. But doing something for yourself is smart. It helps your body recharge and it sounds like you could use some recharging every now and then. :) Congrats on your SITS day.

Astrid January 29, 2009 at 5:29 AM  

Fun post! So ....have you stuck with your Resolution? What nice things have you done for yourself?

I decided NOT to do resolutions this year. They always fly out the window anyway. I figure I might stick to something if I don't call in my New Year's Resolution. LOL!

Happy SITS day!

Angela January 29, 2009 at 5:35 AM  

I totally agree with you. I've been in the habit of taking time for myself now for years. It doesn't happen every day but I've been making a habit of going to see my mother every two years by myself. She's on the West Coast and I'm on the East coast. It doesn't get any better than that.

mommytoalot January 29, 2009 at 5:48 AM  

I agree...
Congrats on your SITS day..
..

Dee from Downunder January 29, 2009 at 5:49 AM  

Hi there, visiting from SITS. You are right, we all need to do something for ourselves, to keep sane... i just have to find out what that is....

Ryan Ashley Scott@Optimistic Cynicism January 29, 2009 at 6:11 AM  

Good for you, making this resolution. I hope you are sticking to it. I can't even find time to do homework. :)

Happy SITS Day!

Shelley January 29, 2009 at 6:27 AM  

Yeah, see my post from today. Thanks.

Jeanne January 29, 2009 at 6:29 AM  

Great advice!

Erika January 29, 2009 at 6:30 AM  

So true!! Great post, thanks!

Karen January 29, 2009 at 6:37 AM  

I actually did this, made a resolution to read 12 books this year. I'm halfway through the first one! :)

HeatherY January 29, 2009 at 6:46 AM  

Great post. My biggest thing is getting at least 30 minutes on the treadmill. It helps me get through my day.

Creative Junkie January 29, 2009 at 7:04 AM  

My kids are a bit older and in school, so I do have time to myself. But I remember those days when I didn't ... and it's so important to remember to take care of yourself while you're taking care of everyone else.

Lisa M January 29, 2009 at 7:15 AM  

I hear ya SITSta! I came to this epiphany last year I'm definately enjoying my me time. You are right, all it takes is a quiet moment to read a chapter or sip some tea to get you the break you need. Good luck!

Stesha January 29, 2009 at 7:30 AM  

Great post!

Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha

ScrappinAway January 29, 2009 at 7:37 AM  

Happy SITS day! Maybe today I will follow your post and get a shower!

Tiffany January 29, 2009 at 7:37 AM  

My kids are getting older and that does change things a bit. You are right though - you have to take care of yourself too. Great post! Congrats on your SITS day!

Jaden Paige January 29, 2009 at 7:45 AM  

A great post. Happy SITS day!! :)

Hope you are enjoying your "me" time...

melanie @ don't expect much January 29, 2009 at 7:49 AM  

Great post! As great mommies, we don't always take time for ourselves... sad affair between mommyhood and womanhood...

Happy SITS day!

Modern Mama Diana January 29, 2009 at 7:50 AM  

Great post. :) Typically I do okay but there are days once in awhile where I really REALLY need some "me" time and thankfully I have the best husband in the world -he tells me to go out and take time alone. Visiting you from SITS!! :)

Kendra January 29, 2009 at 7:50 AM  

:::clap::: Love it. Happy SITS day!

Tara January 29, 2009 at 8:02 AM  

I with ya! My kids and hubby want me to have some "me" time...I'm just nicer and easier to get along with :O)

Melodie January 29, 2009 at 8:05 AM  

It's very difficult for me to do anything that I need to do for myself (shower? ha!), much less something I want to do for myself. I have a two year old who can't be left alone for more than two seconds.

Brandy January 29, 2009 at 8:08 AM  

I have a teenager in the house so it creates a whole different set of "to do's" but it allows for a lot of ME time. Which I've always required and gotten cause I'm spoiled.

Willo January 29, 2009 at 8:09 AM  

Isn't that always the problem, finding the balance? I really struggle with how much to do and do and do for them and when to say, no mommy really needs to eat right now.

Lyssa Ireland Thomas January 29, 2009 at 8:10 AM  

Happy SITS Day! Great post! We are the last people on our list. I pledge to sit down with a pint of Ben & Jerry's today!

Blue Castle January 29, 2009 at 8:12 AM  

It'll get better when your kids get older. I promise. :)

Thrifty and Chic Mom January 29, 2009 at 8:13 AM  

Great post!

Reluctant Housewife January 29, 2009 at 8:44 AM  

It is so important to find time for yourself, too. I'm not a huge doctor phil fan, but (I admit... though I hate to) I used to watch him when my oldest was tiny ... One thing he said rang true: "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." He argued that we have to take care of ourselves too, because if moms get run down and overtired then there's no way we'll be at our best when we're caring for our little ones. Too right.

And you're right, too!

Good for you.

Kelly Deneen January 29, 2009 at 8:46 AM  

Fabulous post! And yes, absolutely you must do something for yourself every day! However much I love spending time with my daughter after work, I also look forward to her bedtime because that translates to "me" time. I hope you find some me time too!

Vickie January 29, 2009 at 8:56 AM  

Well, I like to think I am a good mom. But, I do cook dinner they don't always like. My kids are so picky, they think I am a restuarant. I do fit in blogging doing their time. But, I am at times still overwhelmed.

Happy SITS day!

Michelle January 29, 2009 at 9:03 AM  

I think I get plenty of time for myself.

I get my blogging time in the morning, get some exercise time whenever I want it, my DH will watch the kids if I ask for a night off, and I get 2 hours at bedtime to watch TV or read.

Great reminder. Thanks!

Girly Do's January 29, 2009 at 9:04 AM  

to tO To TO true!!! As I read your post it is as the kids are all sitting here quietly eating there breakfast. The only 20 minutes I ever get in my busy morning.

Charmaine January 29, 2009 at 9:24 AM  

That's a good one! I already try to do that one though, so I went with lose weight. S far I'm down almost ten pounds! Woo hoo!

dddiva January 29, 2009 at 9:25 AM  

Stopping over from SITS. I wish I had read this years ago- but finally I learned (the hard way of course) to do things for myself.
Good luck finding and keeping me time.

Sarah J. January 29, 2009 at 9:45 AM  

Awesome post! It's so easy to forget about myself everyday, without even realizing it's happening.

I've become very pessimistic lately, so my resolution was to be more positive. I'm getting there.

Cammie January 29, 2009 at 9:57 AM  

what a great post!
Happy SITS day!

Alicia @ Oh2122 January 29, 2009 at 10:20 AM  

I'm with you. And they should include something like this in the reams of paper they send you home from the hospital with!

Barb January 29, 2009 at 10:44 AM  

This is day 29 of your resolution; that would make 29 "all-about-me" moments for you! Good for you!

Aubrey January 29, 2009 at 10:47 AM  

Congrats on your SITS day!
Your mythbusters was pretty funny!
Oh, and I make sure I treat myself to a shower, some computer time and a little makeup when my toddler takes his 3 hour nap each day. *bliss* LOL

Elizabeth M Thompson January 29, 2009 at 11:35 AM  

Happy SITS day!

My youngest two are becoming more independent. I have more discretionary time than I have for a decade!

Katie Stacey January 29, 2009 at 11:36 AM  

Sounds like a GREAT idea!

Katie Stacey January 29, 2009 at 11:36 AM  

Sounds like a GREAT idea!

Mimi January 29, 2009 at 11:48 AM  

Me? Who's me? Lol

Great advice!

Tori C. (The Sweet Jelly Bean) January 29, 2009 at 12:19 PM  

This was great!

thedailyelephant January 29, 2009 at 12:23 PM  

i'm not a mom yet, but i know this sure is true of my own mom... stopped by from SITS. like the blog :)

Tabitha Blue January 29, 2009 at 12:23 PM  

Definitely a great post.. and I don't even get to all those things with my one kiddo, but definitely try, so I think I'll try giving myself something as well!

Carina Gardner January 29, 2009 at 12:54 PM  

I felt like I was looking in a mirror as I read your post. Thank you for putting it all down like that! Sometimes you have to read it to make sense of how crazy your life is. I think we all just want to naturally give...I wonder why it is so hard to give to ourselves?

Stephanie January 29, 2009 at 12:58 PM  

This is a wonderful message to spread. I have been working on this one for awhile. :) We must take what I like to call "Mama Time" if we are going to be a good support system for our families.

Happy SITS!!

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life January 29, 2009 at 1:09 PM  

I can totally see how this could happen...but I get up early and do 30 mins of excercise, then wake my son, take a shower, wake son again, get him breakfast and pack lunch, then it's breakfast with daughter, face and hair and teeth, then send her off to the bus...and I usually toss in a load of laundry. I'm good first thing in the morning..it's the afternoon that suck me dry!!

Karen (KayKay) January 29, 2009 at 1:19 PM  

Good reminder that we need to take care of ourselves. My new year's resolution was to get more exercise.

Ali January 29, 2009 at 1:38 PM  

This is so true! I do make time to read and to enjoy a bubble bath sometimes but it's always around everyone else's schedule!

Michelle January 29, 2009 at 1:47 PM  

It is so true that we need to take the time to do a little something special to keep the cranky mommy away!

Laura January 29, 2009 at 1:51 PM  

You said it so perfectly! Moms often forget about taking care of themselves, but it is so important! When kids are gone, you still have yourself, and you need to be your own person at the same time you are a mom. It's hard, but so rewarding for everyone.

Laura January 29, 2009 at 1:52 PM  

You said it so perfectly! Moms often forget about taking care of themselves, but it is so important! When kids are gone, you still have yourself, and you need to be your own person at the same time you are a mom. It's hard, but so rewarding for everyone.

Pamela January 29, 2009 at 2:17 PM  

You hit it for me, the guilt thing! When I do finally do something for me oh the guilt I feel. Glad to know I'm not alone

Sherrie January 29, 2009 at 2:34 PM  

What an awesome idea! I need to do this myself! Thanks for sharing and happy SITS day to you!

April January 29, 2009 at 2:39 PM  

visiting from SITS.
I actaully do pretty good at getting me time in. I have 2 itty bitty kids. Then again I get up at 5:30am so I can get me time in the day, haha

Coffee with Cathy January 29, 2009 at 2:52 PM  

Great inspiration for all the new moms out there -- and even us oldsters. Thanks for sharing.

Kimm at Reinvented January 29, 2009 at 3:47 PM  

Inspiring post. Thanks for sharing and Happy SITs day!

momma January 29, 2009 at 4:15 PM  

so true. i am a better momma and wife when i am rested and sane!

Adrian January 29, 2009 at 4:30 PM  

Great post! That was my resolution too. I'm not doing too well at it, but I keep on plugging.

Leslie January 29, 2009 at 6:25 PM  

Amen, SITSta!

- Leslie

blognut January 29, 2009 at 8:39 PM  

Great post.

Kim January 29, 2009 at 9:40 PM  

Excellent post!! So very true! Happy SITS Day!

BoufMom9 January 29, 2009 at 10:40 PM  

Brillant post and oh so true!

Happy, happy SITSday!

Shannon January 29, 2009 at 11:02 PM  

Sign me up...

Fairy Princess Garden January 29, 2009 at 11:44 PM  

I am on the same boat since I have little ones. I do have my son who is now 7 and helps himself and his sisters..but I took on crafting as something I do for me and as a biz. Very therapeutic...good luck with your resolution every mom needs it.

jubilee January 30, 2009 at 8:15 AM  

The Calm One is so good about allowing me time for myself when I am frazzled. I think he recognizes the panicked look on my face and sends me to our room for a time-out. I love mommy time-outs!

Unlike my youngest son. He cries whenever mommy takes a time-out. Guess he thinks mommy is in trouble!

Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting January 30, 2009 at 1:52 PM  

Great post!

Rae Ann January 30, 2009 at 9:21 PM  

Happy SITS day!

I declared 2009 to be the Year of the Mom (joining in with Motherhood Uncensored). The final straw was when this white girl woke up with dreadlocks. That is just WRONG. So far I'm doing pretty well. I still haven't managed a shower per day, but I'm headed in the right direction!

Jennifer February 2, 2009 at 12:04 AM  

I'm not a mom yet but this is truly some great advice!! I'll be sure to keep a link to this one!

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