The Personal Humiliation Just Keeps Coming

Not only did I sit in for the lovely Melisa at Suburban Wow this morning (replays on a loop right now if you missed it), but tonight I will be in a passion play.

Yep. Me, with my lovely and well-polished acting resume, will be in a play. The last time I was in a play, I was a freshman in high school. And I wrote the play in a summer school class. It was awful. The time before that? Lifestyles of the Lovely But Conceited, another original production that is known among family friends as "The Infamous Florida Video." Infamous isn't necessarily the adjective you want applied to your talents.

However, I will be in a passion play tonight. This isn't just any passion play, however. This is an original production written by our choir director and his wife. Jesus is not the star of it, ironically - as has been the case with every other passion play I've ever seen. Rather it's an interpretation of Christ's last seven phrases in a retelling of the agony of Christ via music and drama.

While it's not quite the Broadway musical that WeaselMomma alleged, it is definitely a unique performance. Part of what will make it even more unique is that we've practiced this a total of - wait for it - once. Yep, one single time, with a quarter of the cast missing, and we are performing it in public in a mere couple hours. It will be interesting to see how it goes over.

The good news is that I have my line memorized. And since I have only a single (albeit somewhat long) line, I have to know only that I start my line after one guy finishes his song. I have yet to hear this song, but he's "promised" (his words, not mine) that it's really long, so I won't miss it. Once he stops singing, I spout my dramatic line, and I'm done.

Oh - and I almost forgot to mention my character. My character is one of the few named characters in the play. I am the infamous Mary Magdalene. (For those of you not familiar with her history, she was a reformed prostitute and a follower of Jesus - including being the person who discovers his empty tomb on Easter.)

The roles were carefully cast. Mine, I was told, was simply typecast. I'll let that set in for a bit.

When doing our auditions - did I mention I didn't volunteer for this but was rather volunteered? - we simply were handed an early script after choir practice one day (ok, THAT part I did volunteer for) and we read the play through, each person reading one line and the next person taking the next line. After we finished the read through, the choir director scribbled his mad notes, and we were told at the next choir practice which part we would play.

Which is how I came to be Mary Magdalene, since I fit her character best. Why, you might ask? I'm told - and here's hoping this is the real reason - that I am the only person whose hair is somewhat red, and my hair is the longest in the choir. Apparently Mary Magdalene was a redhead. With her line referencing drying Jesus's feet with her hair, I suppose long hair is a mandate.

On the plus side, costuming is easy. We're simply all wearing our choir robes. Dressed all in a simple black, it will be easy to tell the characters apart. On the plus side, putting on this performance (which is being advertised as an EVENT in the local papers to get more attendance) doesn't dip into the nonexistent choir budget.

If there is video taken, I promise to share it if possible. I have a feeling this will be worth watching - Jesus being offstage with a microphone and crosses hanging from the ceiling to represent the crucifixions and all.

Wish me luck. I certainly don't want this acting endeavor to also become co-mingled with the word "infamous."

Oh, and don't forget that I have giveaways (umm single digit entries people? Really?) here and here.