Whew, I'm Tired!

Mister Man and I were driving to the gym when we saw a police car ahead of us, lights flashing. I explained that the police car had probably pulled someone over because they were driving too fast and that they were now going to get a ticket.

Mister Man: Mommy, when I'm older, I'm not going to speed.
Me: That's good. Speeding isn't safe, is it?
Mister Man: Nope. My car isn't going to speed.
Me: Really. What kind of a car will you have?
Mister Man: Not a Speed Racer kind of car. It will be a regular car, not like yours. (And no, I don't speed ... trust me, my husband gets on my case for following the speed limit, especially on country roads near us. I think he meant that he won't have a Pilot)
Me: Really. What kind of a car is a regular car?
Mister Man: Well, it will be a car that I'll drive at night. And I'll stop at everyone's house to leave them an ice cream treat.
Me: An ice cream treat. Really?
Mister Man: Yes! And when they wake up in the morning, they'll open their doors, and they'll find the ice cream treat, and they'll be so happy!
Me: I'm sure they will. Don't you worry about it melting?
Mister Man: No, it won't melt. I'll put it in a cooler to keep it cold. And I'll only give it to the good guys.
Me: Oh? How do you know who the good guys are?
Mister Man: Because I'll only stop at the good guys' houses.
Me: Well, of course. How will you know how many ice cream treats to leave at each house?
Mister Man: Well, if there's a Grandma and a Grandpa and an Auntie Megan and a Milo, then I'd leave four ice cream treats. That's how I'd know.
Me: Interesting.
Mister Man: And if the parents are still awake, then they'd open the door when I came and they'd get to choose what flavors they want to eat. And then they could wake up their kids, and the kids could have their ice cream treats right away!
Me: I'm sure they'd like that.
Mister Man: And then, during the day I'd deliver all the mail and the packages in my truck.
Me: Oh, so your regular car is a truck.
Mister Man: Yep. And when it's lunchtime, I'll take a break and eat lunch in my car because I'm busy.
Me: It sounds like you're busy with your two jobs there.
Mister Man: Oh, Mommy! I'm not going to have two jobs. I'm going to have every job!
Me: Wow. That will take a lot of schooling, won't it? How will you learn how to do everything?
Mister Man: Well, that will be my job. I'll have to know everything to do my jobs.
Me: I see. And where will you be living? You're working at night and during the day in your car. Are you going to live in your car?
Mister Man: No, of course not! I'm going to live in our house!

Oh. Great. Although I suppose if he's working as a mailman and ice cream man, it's probably likely that he isn't moving out of our house right after he graduates, is it? He did also inform me that he doesn't want to be a garbageman or a bus driver, so I guess he won't really have every job. I love how the mind of a five year old works!