Heckling 101

Today was the last regular season game for Northwestern, and I was of course in attendance. It was quite the cold day (windchill at kickoff was 26, and it only got colder as the game progressed). Fortunately, I know how to handle cold weather and was fine and toasty.

With the weather the way it was, there were a few open seats that season ticketholders sold to scalpers, which let some Illinois fans into our section. We had a couple sitting right next to us that were quite entertaining. In the end, I was really glad that I had my Blackberry with me so I could accurately capture some of the more entertaining quotes.

The disappointing part? My husband struck up a conversation with the more entertaining one, which significantly reduced the opportunity for heckling highlights. Of course, had the Illini been winning the game, he probably would have been more obnoxious than entertaining. Luckily, Northwestern pulled out a lovely win.

On with the highlights:

Wow, this is small. This is like sitting in a high school stadiun. It's so quaint! Yes, I regularly frequent stadiums that seat 47,130. Granted, it's no Memorial Stadium, but really....

Alright now, we've got 'em where we want 'em. Uhhh, yeah. You're down 13-0, and just got the ball on your own 18. Right.

It takes us a whole quarter to warm up, but we're here now. That's called optimism. And in this case, unwarranted optimism.

I hate you, Pat Fitzgerald! (referring to the NU coach) Jealousy is so unbecoming!

It's called an open field tackle. You're on scholarship here. Tell me theybe taught you to do that at least! And the frustration mounts. Of course, I actually was laughing out loud after this one. He was a little frustrated at the slick move Rashid Ward made on his would-be tackler.

I can call a better game. Which is why the guy is sitting up in the stands instead of coaching somewhere.

Wow it's cold up here. And by up here, he meant Evanston. The first town north of Chicago, where he's from. Apparently the further north you go, the colder it gets?

After he listened to the Mo Greene song that they played during a tv timeout (and yes, it's worth listening to; I'll wait for you to come back). And before that I was going to send my son here....

Oh, you don't mark it where he fell. C'mon he rolled to that position! Apparently the refs were against Illinois all day. In fact, they didn't call a single holding penalty the entire game. Against either team.

I don't know why NU is even running the ball. I would be passing all over this defense. Reality was starting to set in at this point.

After the PA announcer presented the highlights that accorded (six tackles, a forced fumble, a sack, a pass deflection and a blocked field goal) Corey Wootton the NU Athlete of the Week honor: Hey Corey - everyone beats Michigan. That's nothing to be proud of!

Oh I can't even watch this. Yeah, I've been there.

It's our half! It's our half! It's our half! We're all warmed up. Apparently he was wrong. It takes a whole half for them to warm up, not just the first quarter as he asserted earlier.

That's how you want to start the half! Right. I want to have the ball kicked to my team in the end zone and then have the guy receiving the ball not able to make a decision of whether to run out of the end zone or take the touchback. And then almost run out before taking a knee, very narrowly avoiding giving my team the ball on the 3 inch line. Yep, definitely a great start.

Don't leave; don't leave. Ot's just getting good now! This was said to my husband and his peanut sized bladder as he left to go to the bathroom right after Illinois scored to make it a six point differential. See, he would have been bad had the Illini been winning.

It's ok; it's ok. We've got 8 minutes to glory! I hate to point it out, but there were 8 minutes and forty-six seconds left in the game at that point. Oh, and ummm, yeah you just got a first down (barely), but you're still at your own 35. And down by 14.

Unfortunately, after that last great quote, the Illini fumbed four plays later, with Northwestern recovering. They left. I was bummed. Seven minutes, four seconds left in the game.

And my all time favorite from this afternoon?
C'mon, let's beat up on the smart kids! (In fact, I believe this was the first comment they made after sitting down most of the way through the first quarter. It didn't quite turn out that way.)

Usually, the entertainment at a sporting event comes from watching the game on the field, but today, there was an added bonus. This was the first time ever that I was bummed that I didn't twitter.