Ummm, Is Sorry Enough?

I have a younger sister. In fact, I can't remember life without her, as she's only fifteen months younger than me. In many ways we're very similar -- or my parents pushed us to do the same things -- but our personalities are very different.

I was always the older good girl who did everything first and who was remembered when my sister came behind me in school and sports two years later. Looking back, I kind of feel sorry for her, but at the time, I was annoyed that she always had to do the same things I did. I never had anything for myself.

I even had to wait until I was six and a half before I could get pierced ears. July 25, 1982 I got my ears pierced. I had waited so long, and my mom kept telling me I had to wait until I was older. Want to guess when my sister got her ears pierced? Too?

I wanted to start horseback riding. I had to wait until I turned eight for a few reasons. We were in Belgium and I didn't have strong enough French to start. When we moved back to the States, I was told that the barn wouldn't take students younger than eight. I waited and waited. When I turned eight, I started my lessons. My sister was in the same lesson group. (Then again, she fell off her horse the fourth lesson in and has never gotten on a horse since. Needless to say, horses became my -- defensive? -- passion.)

As I got older, I learned to deal with it better. As a young child, however, I probably could have been a better big sister.

I had the usual dream that I was an only child. That my parents loved me best. That my sister was an imposter. That she'd go away someday. Soon. (Hey, I was four or five at the time. Cut me some slack!)

I decided that having her believe this would make it that much more real.

So I told her that she was an alien. Quite matter of factly, I informed her that when she was a baby, aliens landed on the roof of our house. They had her all wrapped up in her special yellow blanket and left her on the roof as they flew away. My parents had found her up there after she started crying loudly enough to wake them up, and they felt sorry for the little alien baby, so they decided to take care of her. But any day now, those alien parents were going to come back and take her.

I repeated this story. Often. My sister became frightened to go outside, and when forced to, she'd stare at the sky and the roof just absolutely petrified. Secretly, I was pleased with myself for getting back at her for some imagined slight.

Unfortunately, my parents eventually noticed her odd behavior. Even though she was only three or four at the time, she finally explained why she was so scared. Yeah, I got into a little bit of trouble for that, but somehow I escaped too much trouble. I know I wasn't grounded.

And then there was the time when my sister was grounded and I rubbed it in her face by playing outside directly below her window... but I'll save that one for another time.

Luckily, I've grown up quite a bit since then, huh?