Tuesday, September 16, 2008

An Open Letter To The Ladies Of My Office

Dear Ladies,

I really hope that I can call you ladies. I sometimes wonder, but we'll start optimistically. I have just a couple of really small requests, and I sincerely hope that you'll take them under advisement.

We are, after all, professional women who share an office. We know most of the women on our floor by sight if not by name. I hope that we can treat each other with the respect that we all deserve.

When we use the restroom, please note that we have toilet cover seats that the lovely paper company Weyerhauer has made. Two hundred fifty of them, in fact, according to the language on the box. I've yet to walk into a stall and find the dispenser empty. If you really are freaked out by the germs that you'll pick up while sitting on the toilet seat that is cleaned at least once every two hours and used only by other ladies in the office, please consider using one of these toilet seat covers rather than crouching over the toilet and peeing all over the seat and, I'm sure, yourself.

Personally, I find it disgusting to walk into a stall and find the seat covered in random droplets of someone else's urine. I then have to use toilet paper to clean off the toilet seat before I can use it, as it doesn't matter which stall I choose, they all are urine dropped. If we all sit down, either with or without a toilet seat cover, none of us will have to worry about either urine or yucky germs, right?

And please, when you finish using the toilet, I can see when you flush and then walk straight out the bathroom without washing your hands. EWWW! Seriously, just eww! Can't you at least fake it if you really have that much of an issue with washing? Actually, no, I want you to really wash. You're then touching things that I have to touch, from elevator buttons to desks in conference rooms and everything in between. Tell me we don't have to review why this is important.

Plus, you ladies who fake washing your hands by putting them under water for 0.000005 seconds and then dry them off without using any soap, come on. I appreciate that you're at least starting to make an effort, but can we please use soap? Germs, people! I've already got two wee ones sick since the start of the school year, and I can't afford to get sick myself (FYI, that tickle went away; I give full credit to yoga, as it seems to kick out the germs and keep me healthy every time).

I will admit that I am truly impressed by the women who brush their teeth in the bathroom. I will admit that I am just not that dedicated to my oral hygeine. Putting a toothbrush into a work drawer in my desk just absolutely grosses me out more than slightly funky teeth. However, if you do choose to brush your teeth, at least have the courtesy of rinsing out the sink. Just like I don't like to see toothpaste scum at home, it's disrespectful to leave it behind for the rest of us. Especially the few of you who miss the bowl when spitting and instead leave it all over the sink counter.

Oh, and lady on her cell phone while in a bathroom stall (I assume) using the facilities? If I were on the other end of the conversation and could hear the periodic flushings of the toilet and God knows what else, I'd be grossed out. That's just rude to do to people. Is your conversation really so important that it can't wait until another time or more appropriate place? I really don't want to hear the details about what happened the last time you got a manicure or how you smeared the polish getting into your car. I really don't care, and I don't want to hear about it when I'm using the restroom.

Lastly, ladies at the health club, don't think I'm forgetting about you. Seriously, whoever taught you that it was acceptable to remove a (necessary) tampon and throw it onto the floor of the shower in the locker room, they were wrong. You are horribly mistaken, and this is simply not acceptable. Ditto with placing used gum on the shampoo shelf. I'm assuming that either you're the same lady or that you know each other, as I discovered both in the same stall when I went running last time. Seriously, that's disgusting, and I don't know how you ever thought that this was a good idea. Just don't do it again.

Thank you for your attention.

Sincerely,
Michelle

22 comments:

Gina September 16, 2008 at 8:03 PM  

Sounds like my office. It's disgusting. And we had a flosser - she would stand right up against the big mirror, so not only could you not see, but she would leave little flecks of nastiness all over the mirror. Gag!

christie September 17, 2008 at 12:56 AM  

Oh gracious! Makes me glad I work with a small crowd. If someone leaves the bathroom gross they would never hear the end of it!

Karen September 17, 2008 at 7:08 AM  

A tampon on the floor! I think I would have brought that to the attention of the gym staff. That is nasty on a whole new level right there.

Kori September 17, 2008 at 8:12 AM  

I sooo feel your pain. I completely understand.

Solei September 17, 2008 at 10:01 AM  

You should sooooo print that letter up and post it inside of each and every bathroom stall at work, anonymously of course!
That's be a fun day at work!
=0D

Hot Tub Lizzy September 17, 2008 at 10:52 AM  

A used tampon on the floor??? EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW!!!! Who DOES that kind of stuff?????

I'm glad I work with all men and we have seperate bathrooms!

Cookie September 17, 2008 at 12:59 PM  

Ewwwww!

Elena September 17, 2008 at 7:10 PM  

Thank you for visiting Idaho today. The potato in the donuts is just an added ingredient probably for the starch. I am sure you could google a potato donut recipe. They pretty much taste like all other donuts. And this letter you have going on to the ladies is too funny. But seriously?! Tampons on the floor!? NASTY!!!

Angela September 17, 2008 at 9:37 PM  

Ohmygosh I have GOT to borrow this and post it...on my office DOOR. Or maybe I'll just remove all names and post it anonymously on the bathroom door. We have all those same offenders at my office, except your health club "ladies" who definitely put the rest of the offenders in the shade. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Shudders!!!)

(Shudders AGAIN!)

Angie's Spot September 18, 2008 at 6:30 PM  

Ewww, ewww, EWWWWW! I just can't muster up anything else.

Michelle September 18, 2008 at 8:01 PM  

Gina - I hadn't even thought of the flossing part. THAT is gross. Flossing in general grosses me out (as does nail clipping), and that's just something that shouldn't be done in public.

Christie - Oh, be grateful. Be VERY grateful!

Karen - I did, actually. As I was leaving, I pointed it and the gum out. Fortunately, they were appropriately appalled.

Kori - Thank you. It's good to know that I'm not alone in my neuroses (or that hey, maybe they AREN'T neuroses!).

Solei - Welcome! I'd love to, but ummm I don't see that going over too well. It would be entertaining though.

Hot Tub Lizzy - I don't know, and I don't think I want to know. I'm just thoroughly grossed out. That is a benefit of working with men, isn't it?

Cookie - That sums it up, doesn't it?

Elena - Welcome! And you're welcome. I may have to look up a potato recipe. Much more appetizing than the nasty floor items!

Angela - Feel free. I encourage the proliferation of the message.

Angie - I know. It took me awhile to be able to compose the post!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher November 21, 2008 at 10:39 AM  

Came over from SITS roll call. Great letter. I hope you taped a copy on the bathroom mirror.

Mrs. S November 21, 2008 at 10:40 AM  

Ok I was laughing at the office ladies, but the health club ladies make me want to vomit. Gross. Seriously? They do that?


And my husband told me yesterday that 43% of women talk on the phone in their bathroom. Guilty. :)

Mom Mom November 21, 2008 at 10:50 AM  

That is so nasty! I hate public bathrooms!

Anna Lefler November 21, 2008 at 11:28 AM  

Savages!

Great post!

:^) Anna

koopermom November 21, 2008 at 11:42 AM  

Eeeewwwwwww!
People actually talk on the phone in the bathroom? and worse, a PUBLIC bathroom???

ElleBee November 21, 2008 at 11:42 AM  

Eww....I'm SO with you. Simple personal hygiene, basic consideration for fellow office mates, we're not talking rocket science here people! :) Happy SITS Friday!

kikibibi November 21, 2008 at 1:55 PM  

Eeew. I'm totally grossed out just READING this! I work with all men and our bathroom is NOTHING like you've described. None of them even "take the paper" into the john or anything like that.

Now if I could just get them to clean up their language a bit, we'd be in business! Oh wait, we are in business, but you know what I'm trying to say.

littleeverydaythings November 21, 2008 at 3:11 PM  

Hysterical and gross at the same time LOL! I have my own way of dealing with people who talk on their cell phones in the restroom - check out my letter ;)I think you should post this is the bathroom stalls! Found you on SITS.

Wanda November 21, 2008 at 8:26 PM  

It amazes me these women do this. I have to say...I cringe when I go into the RR and find this sort of stuff.
They are pigs! No doubt about it.

CynthiaK November 21, 2008 at 11:33 PM  

I hope the ladies see your post. And, I hope they feel utterly ridiculous for their lack of hygiene! Blech!!! Serious blech!!

And the tampon on the shower floor? Wow!

Great post.

Michelle November 22, 2008 at 11:34 PM  

Pseudonymous High School Teacher - Welcome! And ummm no, I didn't tape it. It really would NOT have gone over well.

Mrs. S - Yeah, some things I can laugh at even though they're kinda gross and wrong, but the health club SO grossed me out. I did say something as I was leaving, and they were suitably appalled.

Mom Mom - Welcome! Me, too! I avoid them whenever I can.... Having the bladder of a camel comes in quite handy sometimes!

Anna Lefler - Welcome, and thank you!

Koopermom - Welcome! And apparently they do, including our own Mrs. S! I'm afraid to ask what she talks about and to whom though ;)

ElleBelle - Well, considering that this is apparently above them, I'm thinking that I'm really glad I don't work in the field of rocket science or we'd all be in trouble.

kikibibi - Welcome! I'm impressed that your men are so well trained. Except for the language part.

littleeverydaythings - Welcome! Yep, that's just what I was going for. I think! I may have to go check out your letter.

Wanda - Welcome! Yep, pigs for certain, but what can you do? I really wonder what they're like at home if they do this in public, you know?

CynthiaK - Welcome! I have a feeling they won't see it unfortunately. No one (I know) knows about my blog. But maybe I'll help out people in another office somewhere! ;)

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