Innocent No More

Last night, a friend of mine who has a rooftop building (if you've never lived in Chicago, see below*) had the annual party last night. The wee ones are always invited, but I never bring them, as I'd be heading home by 6pm, which is just not in the cards for me. Another friend has an eight year old daughter, however, who she brings and usually lasts until 8pm or so.

*Rooftop building: in Chicago, many of the apartment buildings are many stories (duh). On the tops of many of them are lounge type areas that residents have access to. The building I lived in after graduating college had a small (10x10 or so) area where you could bring a chair and sit. The really swanky ones have pools and tennis courts, in addition to the lounge areas. This particular building has a lounge area with two picnic tables when you first get outside, then steps up to the pool.

My friend was incredibly smart this year, knowing that her daughter would likely want to get into the pool, which would mean that she would also have to get in the pool. She brought a friend for her daugther. This was a genius move, and I highly suggest it for anyone going to an adult type party where kids are welcome.

In addition, my friend of the wise brain also brought along some toys for the girls to play with when they finished with the pool, including some Webkinz.

I was inside the vestibule where the food was laid out (considering that water bottles were blowing away and plates full of food were disappearing at an alarming rate due to the hurricane force winds last night, smart thinking on my friends parts). The girls were also there warming up and playing with the Webkinz.

Below is what I overheard as I was deciding what delicious items to place on my plate for dinner. Oh, and I will preface it by saying that I could tell they were pretending that the Webkinz(es?) were in love.

Abby**: They're so happy!
Jackie: I know. They should get married!
Abby: They can only do it in California though. (This is where I started losing it)
Jackie: Uh-huh. (Obviously not paying attention)
Abby: They can't get married anywhere else, just in California.
Jackie: Why?
Abby: Because it's the law!
Jackie: What?
Abby: We have to pretend that we're in California or else it will be illegal.

At this point, the mom had walked in, saw me doubled over in silent laughter and caught the last portion of the conversation. Needless to say, they also died laughing. I'm pretty sure there was more to their conversation, but neither of us could hear it over our snorts and giggles.

The mom made the comment that at least Abby watches the news. Then she thought about it for a few more minutes.

Mom: Actually, she must have figured that out from reading my People magazine. I saw her reading it yesterday. Apparently between the Hollywood trash, there is some general knowledge in there, too. Maybe I shouldn't let her read it if she's picking things up so readily.

So not only is Abby spouting laws about gay marriage, but she's picking up said knowledge from People. I love it!

Of course we had to harrass my friend about the magazine and we learned that 1) no, she doesn't have a subscription and 2) she bought the magazine because it talked about a breakdown that Heather Lochlear is having and 3) my friend feels better when she sees that stars have mental health issues, too.

**As always, names have been changed to protect the innocent.