Don't Try This At Home

I wrote last week about how I knew I needed more sleep because I was doing stupid things. While I've been making a concerted effort to get to sleep earlier, I apparently have not yet caught up on my sleep. Today? Definitely one of the stupider things I've ever done, and I'm beyond lucky that there were no lasting repercussions.

I'm on a productivity roll today. I dropped off my husband's lunch. I picked up my driver's license that I forgot at speech therapy yesterday. I returned the book on CD that was due. I got a load of darks in the laundry. I put away the dirty dishes. I updated my expenses spreadsheet. I even finished a few more solicitations for Mister Man's gala.

My mind is sort of running a million miles an hour, as there's a lot more I need to do today before I leave at 1:30. I won't be home again until almost 6:30 when I walk in the door with two very tired and hungry wee ones. Dinner needs to be ready, and I'm not quite ready to stoop to fast food. This is where the crock pot comes in handy. I have nothing thawed, but the awesome part about a crock pot is that you can put meat in still frozen. Yay, I have a roast left from the last time I made pot roast (yay Costco for selling meat in large quantities). And I have carrots and celery and onion and all the other ingredients on hand. Phew. I'm making my easy pot roast.

I placed my large cast iron pan onto the stove and began heating it while I got out the rest of the ingredients. After all, I want the pores of my pan to open before I put in the oil to sear my meat. As I tried to get the meat out of its glass container, I realized I had a little problem. It was frozen to the glass and was not coming out. The oil was now heating in the pan, and I didn't want it to burn. Warm water to the rescue - after a minute or so of warm water flowing over the container and meat, the container released the meat. Phew. Utterly paranoid now about my soon to be smoking oil, I immediately placed the meat into the pan.

My wet meat.

My frozen wet meat.

Into a very hot pan.

Into a very hot pan that contains oil.

Annnnnd I watched the flames flare. Can you say grease fire? Yep, that's what those ingredients get you. I pushed the pan to the center of my stove after turning off the stove (always step one!), as the flames showed no signs of dying down anytime soon, but the pan was too heavy and my sink too full to place it there - plus grease fires should never ever have water added to them.

I held my breath, and the flames died down with no damage to anything, aside from grease spattered everywhere. Oh, and the smoke alarms blaring throughout my house. Even with the vent fan running on high - because I of course forgot to turn it on until after the fire had died out - the smoke wasn't dissipating quickly.

I was lucky. I was very very lucky. This is why you always dry your meat before putting it into oil to sear. And probably why searing frozen meat isn't a good idea, for that matter. Learn from my stupidity - please! It's my public service announcement for the week.

Hiding Isn't Helping

One more day to enter for a $25 Wal-Mart gift card here.

I also just put up a brand new giveaway for Angie's Kettle Corn here, with ten winners, so go enter!

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I've debated posting this for over a month now for a number of reasons. I don't want to get pulled into a debate where I'm definitely not the expert. I want to keep some modicum of privacy for people - even though I'm admittedly a fairly anonymous blog. And I don't get it. I truly don't get it, and I can't wrap my head around it, which is my biggest struggle.

Earlier this week, I read a post by Melissa at Peanut Butter In My Hair, and sensing her frustration, I realized that a lot of that really doesn't matter. I have something I want to share, and it isn't about a debate, it's about people and about things they do that - inadvertently or not - are harmful.

Melissa wrote about Post Partum Depression and her desire that people not minimize it, not pretend like they know how it feels, not push it further into the darkness where it only festers and grows.

On Mother's Day, a woman whose wedding I attended killed herself.

She had a great job that she loved, she'd been in a great community where she was well-respected, and she had an adorable six week old baby girl. The following day, she was to return to work from maternity leave.

On the Thursday before Mother's Day, a colleague had called her to check in. "I don't think I can do this" the woman told her. And her colleague did what we all do, so very often. "Of course you can. We all feel this way sometimes; it's no big deal."

The woman was right. She couldn't do it, and she ended her life.

I can't begin to understand how she felt that way. I can't imagine ever being at the point where suicide is the only way out. I can't imagine ever feeling like leaving behind an innocent child is the right decision - and I'm profoundly grateful for that.

I'm lucky, but there are so many women out there who aren't so lucky, who suffer deeply - sharply - on a daily basis just struggling to make it not through the next day but the next hour and the next minute. While I can't put myself anywhere near the place they're in, I do understand it, and I feel for them. I get that the casual, unintentionally hurtful "it's not that bad" cuts more than they can bear.

This woman didn't always have the easiest life. She had gotten divorced since I attended her wedding, and her baby was an accident with a man she hadn't been dating long enough to decide that they were ready for this next step. But they worked through it, and they were making a go of it.

Does this explain why she fell so deeply into the blackness of depression that she couldn't see a way out, couldn't find someone who understood, lost all hope of ever escaping the darkness where she lived?


While her circumstances may not have been what she envisioned as a little girl growing up with fairy tale romances in her eyes, that wasn't necessarily the precipice that caused her to slide so far into post partum depression. There are plenty of women who do have the fairy tale romance who travel the same path, and plenty of women in circumstances far more dire who rebound with no issues.


Post partum depression doesn't care who you are. It simply finds you and seizes you, and good luck getting it to loosen its grip.


Part of what most scares me about this woman is the reaction of her family. The fact that she committed suicide is not well-known. All they shared was that she died suddenly. They saw her fall as something to be ashamed of, something to sweep under the carpet and pretend away.


It isn't.


The further you push it under the rug, the deeper its hold becomes. This isn't something that shows weakness of character. It isn't a character flaw or failing. This is a serious medical issue. It's valid. It happens.


It breaks my heart to think of that little girl growing up with not so much as a single memory of her mother. And she isn't the only one. Post partum psychosis has a five percent suicide rate. When you think about the number of babies born each year, that figure it staggering - even accounting for the fact that this "only" impacts one to two women per thousand births.


The next time I see a woman with a new baby who is struggling in the grocery store, I'll offer a sympathetic smile or more. When a friend says she's struggling, I'll encourage her to share with me - and to find some help. So many won't find help because of the stigma attached to it, feeling like a failed mother, being mentally ill, or more. There should be no stigma. It happens.


Even though this woman's mom doesn't want to admit it, wants to keep the illusion alive that there are no problems, her daughter is proof. And without getting help, the repercussions are severe. If you've suffered through PPD, hats off to you for not drowning. Your success and your survival are a tremendous feat and not something to hide away.


There's a baby girl out there who someday will wish her mother had been able to do that. And I just hope that other mothers and grandmothers and husband will and can shed some more light on the tragedy that can be avoided for those who need to be encouraged to find the right help.


I'm not an expert, and I don't pretend to be one. My heart just can't take hearing about another little baby like this one.

PSA: Do Not Call List

Giveaway is still going on here (until Friday)! I'll wait for you to go enter. Promise.

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Tonight, my husband got a random telemarketer call. Again.

You wouldn't think this would be too out of the ordinary, except for a few things. We're on the do not call list. And it was to his cell phone. From a business that neither of us has ever heard of.

Grrr.

This is what the do not call list is intended to prevent. And the law prohibits telemarketing to cell phones. Period.

For landlines, there are also restrictions once you have been on the national Do Not Call registry for 31 days unless you have an existing business relationship (including asking for information from the company/applying for a product), it is a not-for-profit organization, conducting surveys or political polling, or it is a business line being called. This includes collections calls. However, once you have requested to be placed on that individual do not call list, they must add your number and can no longer call. Oh, and no telemarketer can call outside the hours of 8am to 9pm (your local time).

If someone is violating this, you have recourse. Click here. That will take you to an FTC (Federal Trade Commission, the governmental organization that regulates telemarketing) website where you can fill out a complaint form with as much information about the call as you can remember and provide.

Why would you want to fill out this form? First, it gives the FTC an idea of who to go after to shut down those businesses not following the law. Second (and my favorite reason), violators can be fined up to $11,000 -- and no, that's not a typo -- per violation. Depending on how many people they called and how many report it, can you imagine what kind of damage that kind of a fine could do for repeat violators? It kind of makes me smile to think about it.

I rarely get calls on my cell. Very rarely. My work Blackberry, I'll get some more mostly because a Spanish speaking person (making it fun to get off their lists) paid no bills before abandoning the number that was eventually assigned to me. When I get a telemarketer, I do have a very effective strategy though -- when I get a live person.

I interrupt the sales pitch to:
a) ask who is calling to be sure I have the name of the company to file a complaint against
b) request that I be placed on their do not call list -- which by law they have to do for ten years
c) ask if they realize they're calling a cell phone (assuming I'm using a cell), which a violation of FTC regulations -- this usually gets some very flustered responses
d) if it is a repeat offender, let them know that I have already requested to be placed on the do not call list and that I am now filing a complaint with the FTC. When I pull out this card, it's generally the last time I hear from a company.

When my husband walked in the room to complain about the telemarketer, I asked what he did about it. He had just hung up on them. He wasn't aware of his alternatives, but once I told him he filed a complaint. I didn't realize this wasn't common knowledge, and I hope that it helps some of you.

But in order for it to work, you have to sign up for the National Do Not Call Registry here.

There are misconceptions against this, as well. This is not a site that telemarketers can go to and purchase phone numbers. Signing up for it will not increase the solicitations you receive. It does take 31 days for your number to be updated by companies using the database, but it will work. And due to new changes in the law, the registry is permanent for the phone number and not just for five years, as when it was originally created. It is safe. It is secure. And it works.

Just ask my now happy husband.

This Public Service Announcement brought to you by an annoyed consumer who got fed up and read up on all the telemarketing regulations she could find once the do not call registry was created.

Whoah! Starbucks Alert

Ok, maybe I'm a moron here and you all already know about this. Me? I'll admit to being a bit out of the loop. Karen mentioned the other day that she used her Gold Starbucks card to get 10% off her drink. Hmm....

Me, always being on the lookout for cool things like, ohhh I don't know, 10% off at Starbucks -- where I only drink the frou frou $4.60 or whatever yummy things. I asked her what she did to get a Gold card, and she said she just bought one for $25.

Interesting. That of course prompted a visit to the Starbucks website for me to further investigate. I don't have a Starbucks habit -- I'm not big on caffeine, it's expensive and oh yeah it has a lot of calories when I drink it -- but I certainly go there periodically, as does my husband.

Yep, she's right. You can buy a $25 Gold card. So what do you get for your Gold card?

1) Buy it in the store and you get a free drink (any size, any drink) immediately ($25 - $4.60 = $20.40 cost so far)

2) On your birthday, you get a free drink, again any size of any drink. ($20.40 - $4.60 = $15.80 cost now)

3) 10% off almost anything you buy in the store. I thought initially it was only for drinks, but exclusions are just for gift cards, the membership, books and magazines, and digital downloads. That means I could get the Starbucks mug or a CD or coffee and get 10% off those, too. I know me though, and I'll just be buying my usual. With the cost effectively at $15.80, I only have to buy four drinks over the course of a year to make money. Errr save money, I mean.

4) You get up to two free hours of wireless access via AT&T each day. You have to register with AT&T and all, but what a great way to encourage people to hang out and get some more of perk number three! The only downside is that it's one shot of access per day, so you can't go in for an hour in the morning and then for another hour later in the day. I'm ok with that though.

5) Apparently I'll get other "exclusive offers and discounts" throughout the year. These aren't specified, and they may be worthless to me (which is why I didn't include it in the above calculation), but if it's 20% off the first Tuesday of the month or upgrade a grande to a venti for free during spring break or something along those lines, I'm good with it. Hmm, maybe I should go work for Starbucks in their marketing department.

And this isn't the only kind of thing Starbucks has. You can also register your gift cards with Starbucks and get free stuff. It sounds as thought you can only do the Gold card or their Starbucks Card Rewards for a single purchase, but I still need to go into a Starbucks to verify that (hey, if anyone knows all this already, pipe up!).

So why would you want the Starbucks Card Rewards instead? Here, you get some different benefits that may be more beneficial based on how and what you buy. You do have to use the registered gift card (and you can register up to three at a time) for at least part of the purchase. Details include:

1) When you buy a drink, you can get an add-in for free. I can't tell if it's only one add-in, or if you can do as many as you want to really customize your coffee. Again, I'll have to verify. If it's anything, I'd get my venti brewed coffee and pop in some caramel syrup, hazelnut, and soy and be good to go. That would be cheaper than the 10% off my venti caramel macciatto.

2) When you're hanging out at Starbucks (and when the wee ones are in school and I have time to myself, I will become one of these moms!), you get free refills of brewed coffee (hot or iced) for as long as you're there. I can't tell if you also get the free add-ins, but hmmm....

3) When you buy coffee beans there, you get a free tall cup of whatever you want with your one pound purchase. Of course if I were to buy Starbucks beans (for my husband), I'd buy them at Costco where (shhhh) they're far cheaper, but still not a bad perk for those who buy their beans at Starbucks!

4) The same free wireless offer as the Gold Card.

Maybe I'm totally out of the loop, and yes, that's not out of the realm of possibility, but if this is news to you, how cool is this? And if everyone in the world knew about this already but me, can you at least not rub it in too badly?

Any guesses as to what I'm doing once Little Miss wakes up from her nap today? Actually, scratch that. I can't have caffeine past about noon. Let's try this again. Anyone know what I'm doing tomorrow morning once I drop Mister Man off at daycare?