So this is me right now:
Yep, I'm living life on a couch, for the most part, with my foot up in the air. Why? Well, I've done some damage to three toes on my left foot. They hurt. A lot. And they're black and blue - fortunately mostly on the bottom. That said, they're swollen and sore, and it hurts to walk.
But hey, they're toes. You can't really do anything for toes other than tape them to their friends and avoid walking on them as much as possible. Well, that and keeping them elevated and iced.
I have a bigger problem than some broken toes, however.
See, I did it in a sort of embarrassing manner. I forgot to grab a few things when I left my house (does baby brain ever go away?) and had to come back to grab them. Since I was now in a hurry, I ran quickly through my kitchen to pick them up from their various locations.
In my defense, the stairs in my kitchen that lead upstairs sort of jut into the room because they open both to the family room and the kitchen, so they come out at an angle. And that's the closest I get to an excuse.
Anyway, as I ran past them, I didn't run past them. I ran smack dab into them at full speed. And four of my toes went sideways with a painful lurch. I managed not to swear but did the "ow ow ow ow!" dance across my kitchen before hobbling slowly to grab the necessary items, sure I'd just stubbed them badly and would get over it shortly.
It's been three days, and they still hurt and are swollen and black and blue. I think they might be broken. Thank goodness I got a manicure just before I captured the Klutz of the Year Award. Anyone who sees me can immediately tell something is wrong with my toes, but I really need a better story of what happened to cause me injury.
Because really, the truth is too embarrassing. I'm taking suggestions!