Please Remove Your Head From Your Nether Regions

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There are times when I am sometimes truly amazed by how inwardly focused are sometimes. That's not to say that there aren't days when I am selfish and unaware of things that are going on around me, but I sure hope that I don't fall into these categories.

Dear Mom At Gymnastics,

I know there aren't great places to view what's going on inside the gym, especially for small children. The row of small windows they provide isn't the easiest to see.

But having your child sit or stand on the very narrow ledge that they built to cover the coat hooks so that no one injures themselves accidentally bumping into them - well, really is that the smartest thing to do?

We won't get into the fact that your child standing there then blocks the view for everyone else in the area.

Or the fact that the gym has requested multiple times that you not place your children on the ledge for safety reasons. Or the fact that the gym now has a notes pasted every (literally) two feet on the windows asking you to keep your children off the ledge.

Please, make sure that your child - who was previously racing up and down the hallway with a lollipop in his mouth - can see his sister on the balance beam while no one else can see. At least you have the justification of not being able to read the sign requesting that your child stay off the ledge because he's blocking it while sitting on the ledge. Oh, wait. There's another one by your left elbow.

sigh

kthnxbai,




Dear Dad In the Carpool Line,

Generally, I feel badly when I'm dropping off the carpool. After all, there is only a ten minute window of six cars at a time dropping off children, and I have four children who have to pile out of my car. They don't always do it as quickly as I'd like, and I feel badly that we're holding up the line.

I don't feel so badly anymore.

Yesterday, I was dropping off the carpool, and after everyone piled out of the car, I noticed that your passenger door was still open. I felt for you - I always worry that the carpool kids will get out of the car and leave me with my door hanging open. It isn't easy to fix. I waited for your to reach over to close it.

And I waited. And waited. And waited.

Finally, I saw movement. It was a girl climbing out of the car to go to school. Uhhhh, you held up the line for four minutes waiting for her to get out of the car? You do realize that with the narrow dropoff lane, no one can get past you until you leave, right?

At least she finally got out of the car - and closed the door behind her!

Or so I thought until I saw you waving at her, while remaining in park. She slowly walked toward the school, and you continued waving. I apologize for the lights flashing at you, but c'mon!

I'm grateful that you started moving forward at least. For the first three feet before you stopped to continue watching her progress toward the school. Again, my apologies for the slight horn honk. Really. But move already! Anyone who wasn't in our group of six now has kids who are late for school because of you.

By the time you left the line and allowed the rest of us to get along with our day, it was six minutes after the start of school. If your daughter needs that much assistance getting into school, might I suggest that you park and walk her in next time?

kthxbai,