Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I Should Have Been More Clear...

Becoming a parent isn't always what we signed up for or what we expected. There's something new nearly every day, and so much of it is unexpected - some unwanted and some neat surprises.

No one ever asked me if it was ok to wake up at 6am. However, the wee ones periodically decide that they've slept enough and it's time to have romper room in one bedroom or the other - that is very audible in my bedroom where I have a deep and desperate need for sleep at that hour. I always heard about how life with newborns was hard because they didn't sleep through the night. I was prepared for that. I wasn't prepared to still not get full nights of sleep when they were this far out of diapers.

No one ever asked me if I wanted to ingest chemicals day in and day out. However, Mister Man went shopping with me today to buy a few simple things: crackers, applesauce, bread, and yogurt among them. Mister Man was excited to spot the bread first, but I told him we couldn't buy it at this store and had to go elsewhere because it all contained high fructose corn syrup (have you seen the studies showing that it contains mercury, among other health issues?). He didn't believe me, but sadly he looked at ingredient list after ingredient list and replaced the brands. We did find wheat crackers with four ingredients that we could buy. And we found some plain yogurt to which we'll add our own flavorings that avoided nasty chemicals we don't eat, but we bought no applesauce today because it all contained HFCS.

No one ever asked me if I wanted grey hair. And I don't. I really don't. Grey hair on women just makes them look older. It's not fair that we don't get to look distinguished. And my mom makes fun of me. And that nice little coloring job I did to make the bright red hair (that has since faded, thankfully) the other week? Yeah, those four silver hairs in the crown of my head decided that they liked their color and didn't absorb the dye. Give me another couple years, and you can probably just call me Granny.

No one ever asked me how much garbage I throw away on a given week. Our garbage company provides me with a 96 gallon garbage tote, however. The recycling bin is a mere 64 gallons. In general, we have a single garbage bag (and occasionally two) that goes into that massive bin each week. Our recycling bin overflows on a semi-regular basis - partly due to the large cardboard boxes from Costco that we use as grocery bags. I have to wonder how many people really throw away 96 gallons of trash each week, and then my head hurts when I start to picture the full landfills.

No one ever asked me if I wanted a kid who was different from all the others. But yet here I have Mister Man who is the sweetest little guy you could ever ask for. He still doesn't have a diagnosis, but this is likely short term, as tomorrow is day two of our nine hours of testing and evaluation by a developmental pediatrician. From the two hour meeting with me this afternoon, it sounds like they suspect at least some level of autism, which is no great shock for me. My heart breaks when I see him struggle with things that should be so easy for him - socially and behaviorally. But then I see how protective he is of those he cares about, and I know that I wouldn't trade being a special needs mom for anything.

No one ever asked me if I wanted to share in their lottery winnings. And I'm still trying to figure out why that is....

What question have people neglected to ask you?

PS If you know a little girl, you need to come enter this contest. Even I'm having fun playing with the doll we got. So don't forget about the Hot Locks giveaway!


Alexis AKA MOM March 24, 2010 at 11:01 PM  

Oh girl I ask my self that question about a lot of things during the day ... lol

Please keep us posted on Mr. Man. He's a lucky boy to have an awesome mom like you!!

WeaselMomma March 25, 2010 at 5:35 AM  

Ummm, I'm the person who has 96 gallons of garbage and overflowing recycling bins.

In parenting there is basically no way of knowing what we have signed up for. We just look both ways to cross the street and occasionally get clipped by the bus that sneaks up from behind.

septembermom March 25, 2010 at 8:17 AM  

Michelle, the lottery one is terrific! I'm looking for that winner to come knocking on my door too :) Can you believe that I still haven't done my hair color? Jillian doesn't want to go to sleep at a decent hour. I really don't want to do it with the kids and hubby around. I don't need the interruptions and comments. I also don't want to do it at midnight. I would screw it up for sure. Call me Granny now too!!

No one ever asked me if I liked picking up dirty clothes all the time in all sorts of places :)

Donald March 25, 2010 at 10:45 AM  

Ive been collecting the free bins to put our recycling in. Thankfully, no one has commented to me that I have a bright orange Skokie bin in the dark green bin zone of Glenview.

Dan March 25, 2010 at 3:03 PM  

Parenting is like reading a Steven King novel - you know there are going to be bogey men, just not where and when.

BTW. have you seen some of the new research on HFCS and weight gain in rats? Very interesting.

Karen March 25, 2010 at 6:12 PM  

Those are all good questions. I'd like to add "Why did nobody ever ask me if I wanted to pee in private?" Because I do sometimes. Really.

Amber Page Writes March 25, 2010 at 8:23 PM  

No one asked me if I wanted to deal with wrinkles and zits at the same time...oh yeah, they're beginning. and I'm sprouting gray hairs...sigh.

ChefDruck March 25, 2010 at 9:26 PM  

No one ever asked me if I wanted to share my bed with 2 and even sometimes 3 people, but yet, they come, every night, like the waves on the shore.


Beautiful post!

Michelle March 25, 2010 at 10:36 PM  

Alexis - We have our feedback session where we learn all the results April 14, and you can be sure that I'll share as much of it as I can once I'm able.... I have a feeling I'll need to vent some!

WeaselMomma - Yes, but your family is 2.5 times the size of mine. You're expected to have more garbage! You're also outside the standard deviation of size though.

Kelly - Still no color? I hear you on wanting to do it alone (that's how I did mine, and it took some scheming), but fingers crossed it works soon!

Don - I love it. Ours were free provided by the garbage company, which I assume is why they're so large. Ours are a pretty yellow AND green.

Dan - YES I have seen that research. We actually do no corn syrup as much as possible, and it's really depressing how much has HFCS in it. Mister Man gets so sad with all the things he can't eat, but he generally understands.

Karen - That is another good question. I've resorted to sneaking away. And transplanting my bladder with a new titanium model that doesn't require emptying for long periods of time.

Amber - Ok that was a portion of life I could have done without. Really? Really, that happens? I'm so sorry.

ChefDruck - Awww, thank you! I love your imagery, although I'm a mean rocky crag that let's no one enter :) The wee ones know not to even ask thankfully!

Gina March 26, 2010 at 5:44 PM  

No one ever asked me if I wanted reading glasses. And no one ever asked me if I wanted to pee myself when I cough. Because I do not.

Michelle March 26, 2010 at 9:42 PM  

Gina - Oooo for shame. You so should have been asked about both of those. And ummm you probably don't like today's post much, do you? :)

Hyacynth March 26, 2010 at 10:48 PM  

lol!! No one ever asked me if I wanted to get barfed on while crammed in an airplane at 40,000 feet.
Not thrilled about the gray hairs or the chemicals either.

Michelle April 7, 2010 at 10:54 PM  

Hyacynth - Ohhhhh, I'm SO sorry. So sorry.

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