Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Where's Daddy When You Need Him?

Sooo Mister Man is in time out at the moment. Not really, but just in my mind. There are some things that small children do in public that well... I just wish they wouldn't. Little Miss's incident yesterday is another case in point. Maybe both wee ones go into timeout until they're thirty.


Soooo just before bathtime tonight, Mister Man walks out of the bathroom lacking clothes. He's also repeatedly squeezing his te$tlcle$. It doesn't appear to be causing him any pain, but the sight of it definitely throws me for a loop.

I ask him what he's doing, and he looks at me with completely innocence.

You know what, Mommy? I can really tell that I have to go potty badly.

Oh? I inquire with an arched eyebrow, trying to quickly figure out what his grubby little hand is doing and why.

Yep. I can feel how full my kidneys are. When I squeeze them I can feel all the pee in them. I really have to go badly.

I lost it at that point. I collapsed on the floor, dying of laughter. Between gasps, I tried to explain that your kidneys are on your back under your ribs. He didn't believe me. I tried to explain how there are tubes that go from your kidneys to the appropriate place.

And that he is definitely not squeezing his kidneys. And that it has nothing to do with having to go to the bathroom. He now knows the medically appropriate name for that portion of his anatomy.

I'll leave the information about how and when they do fill up to Daddy.

I really do wonder where they get these things. But in the meantime, I'm locking them up until I can safely loose them upon the public without worrying about being mortified by what may or may not come out of their mouths.


WeaselMomma August 13, 2009 at 5:52 AM  

That is hysterical! Thanks for waking me up with a good laugh.

Melisa Wells August 13, 2009 at 7:12 AM  


Tina August 13, 2009 at 9:01 AM  

Oh my...Too funny!

Pat August 13, 2009 at 9:13 AM  

Hilarious! It's great that you save these for posterity. I've forgotten lots of the funny things my kids said.

Nicole @ August 13, 2009 at 9:37 AM  

LOL! Is THAT what they're calling them these days?! You need to save that one up til he's about 18 and thinks he knows it all. :-)

septembermom August 13, 2009 at 11:37 AM  

Really funny Michelle. My boys went through that testicle squeezing stage. I always hoped that they wouldn't decide to play around with them in front on my in-laws. Raised eyebrows for sure!

Grammy Suzzy August 13, 2009 at 12:54 PM  

Oh, this is just too, too funny. Aren't kids just precious!

Roxane August 13, 2009 at 1:59 PM  

ROFL!... That's too funny. I'm sure your husband will be proud :)

Kim August 13, 2009 at 2:02 PM  

I don't know if it gets much better as they get bigger. My son announced that he must be in puberty, because he had "prostate" hair". I'm just sayin'...

Anonymous August 13, 2009 at 2:17 PM  

Too freakin' funny! Cooper, like most boys, has a healthy obsession with his nether-regions . . . it is a good thing there is not actually a 'bone' in there, because I am pretty sure he would have broken his in half many times over by now.

monica August 13, 2009 at 5:27 PM  

LOL too funny! That is so something that my boys would say...or will say in the near future! Oh the stuff that comes out of the mouth of babes! Stopping in from Writers Workshop.

Martha@SeasideSimplicity August 14, 2009 at 11:21 AM  

Reading the last couple entries sure brought back memories! I'd like to say it's easier once they get a little bigger but having teens and preteens is even worse! Just wait for the conversations you'll have then!

Michelle August 14, 2009 at 8:14 PM  

Weaselmomma - I aim to please! No pun intended, really.

Melisa - What, your boys never thoguht this?

Tina - Hey, that's what we're here for. *sigh*

Pat - Oh there are so many that I've forgotten, but I'm definitely glad to that I've at least managed to save a few of these!

Mom of Three - I don't know if *they* are calling them that now, but apparently at least one person is. And ohhh there are several things I'm pulling out when he's a teenager!

Kelly - Oh, it's a stage? Great. I was hoping this was just a one off thing. So did they play in front of the in-laws?

Grammy Suzzy and DJ Doran - Ummm yeah. Precious is just the word I was searching for ;)

Roxane - Oh I'm not sure that was exactly his feeling. I did have to call him and tell him immediately, of course. While gasping for breath.

June - Prostate hair. Hmm. I like that one. Did you correct him?

Nichole - Fortunately, Mister Man isn't that obsessed other than the usual grabbing when a potty is needed. Or at least he keeps it to himself in his room....

monica - Just wait, I'm sure your boys will come up with something equally as entertaining. Just give 'em time.

Martha - I'm actually really NOT looking forward to the teen years. Unless I have teens like Melisa. I just remember those being very unpleasant years.

Claudya Martinez August 15, 2009 at 4:28 PM  

That's a classic. It's great that you have a blog because one day when he's older you can let him read this. It's too funny.

Michelle August 16, 2009 at 3:04 PM  

Unknown Mami - Yeah... but let him? I think it might be MAKE him. Either way, someday he'll read it!

Gina August 17, 2009 at 8:30 PM  

Too funny!

Heather August 18, 2009 at 4:30 PM  

God that's funny!

Michelle August 18, 2009 at 10:52 PM  

Gina - Gotta love boys. They always have ummm something interesting to contribute.

Heather - I'm just glad I'm not the only one who thought so!

Mrs4444 August 19, 2009 at 10:36 PM  

Way too funny, Michelle. Gotta love the way kids think!

Michelle September 8, 2009 at 1:23 PM  

Barb - Ummm yeah. I love the way they think. That's it.... Silly kids!

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