Someone Didn't Want Me To Get a Pedicure

I had a wedding to attend on Saturday, so trust me, there was a mani/pedi in my future.  It had been a long time, and they needed the attention, especially since I was wearing open toe shoes.  I had the perfect color chosen for my toes, but my fingers were flexible.  I wanted a deep, rich, true silver.  And I know that the metallics are out there, so I was ready.

As I walked into the salon, I noticed all the workers were engaged, but I wasn't worried.  It was 1:15pm, and even allowing myself two hours, I had plenty of time.  They waved me to choose a color, which I proceeded to do.  And I discovered that finding that true silver wasn't as easy as I'd thought.  Fortunately, I had time to paint little swatches on my fingers to find the perfect shade.  And I did.  Yay!  I even found a nail color that worked for what I wanted.  After amusing myself choosing colors for fifteen minutes or so, they waved me to a chair that had the water running.  Yay, I got the last empty chair.

That's when I saw the other people waiting for service, somewhat hidden around the corner of the door.  I wasn't too worried, though - it was only two people sitting there.  Plus, I was already in a chair soaking my feet.  I picked up my requisite trashy magazine that I never read anywhere but at the salon and started to relax.

And I continued to read.  Things I learned while reading that magazine?  A) I read too fast.  I finished the magazine before they were ready for me.  B) It's prom season, so all the girls not only want mani/pedis, but they want the flowers and other decorations painted on their nails and toes.  Oh, and they also want to be waxed - all of which means they need more time.  C) Apparently for prom, either parents now no longer require that their children go to school the day before prom or schools no longer have afternoon classes the day before prom.  I sort of don't want to know which.  D) I'm not the only one waiting in the feet soaking stage.  Two of the five chair - in addition to my own - were also awaiting pedicures.

Oops.  I should have called for an appointment, but who knew?

When the guy was finally ready for me, he was hugely apologetic.  It wasn't his fault, but yikes!  I would have appreciated the heads up.  Although, I might not have gone home and come back later, since I walked there from my house... in my shoes that are oh so cute and perfect for a pedicure because they don't even come close to touching my toes.  The only issue is that they sort of rub in the wrong place on one ankle.  And I wasn't up for another walk at that point.

As he finished buffing and polishing my poor piggies, he pulled out the gorgeous polish I'd chosen and commenced work.  After the second or third toe, he looked up at me apologetically.  I'm so sorry.  This polish is almost gone.  There isn't enough here to do your nails.  Seriously?  Well, yeah.  Of course.  I begged to see if we could do one coat with this polish and then a second coat with another polish to at least give most of the effect I was looking for.  Nope.  He tried finding another silver polish, but none of them were opaque enough, so I went back searching for my previous second choice.  It took us awhile to find the right one, but eventually we found it.  Phew.

When we got to my manicure, my polish had somehow disappeared.  Apparently someone was a little too vigilant in the cleanup while we were figuring out what replacement toe polish to use.  When my guy had first started working and apologized for the delay, I had joked that it was fine as I had until 4:15 before I had to be home for the bus.  My final top coat went one at 3:55.

I did manage to get home before the bus by about five minutes, but so much for my doing my hair nicely for the rehearsal dinner.  And my makeup was the quick regular day makeup, as we raced back out the door once the wee ones got home.  The other things I'd planned to do after completing my mani/pedi?  Yeah, they didn't happen either.  Forces were conspiring against me.  Someone didn't want me to get a pedicure.  But I did anyway... and they do look pretty cool.

What is your summer foot routine?  What colors are you into right now?

Boy, This Sounds Like Fun!

Current Giveaways:

E is for Ethics children's book here
Precious Moments here
9Lives Prize Pack here

***

Apparently this is Crabby Week here on my blog. My apologies for that, but I received something in the mail on Thursday that I simply have to share with you. It almost needs no comment or explanation, but ... I can't help myself.

Background:
A good friend from college (whom I don't see nearly enough) is getting married next weekend. I am invited, and I've been told by her that she's disappointed that many of our friends aren't able to make it.

Received in the mail Thursday (note, wedding = next weekend):
Now, apparently I may be a bit prudish, after reflecting on this for almost two days, but I am rather glad that I am not able to make the shower. I've never been to a l!ngerie shower before, but for some reason, the idea just doesn't appeal to me.

If you'll note, however:

There is nowhere to RSVP. I can't even tell the person who is hosting it that I won't be there. Now, I know that RSVPing is somewhat passe in this day and age (I've got a post brewing on that one, too - speaking of being crabby), but you'd think that the host would want at least a bit of an idea of who is going to come.

I love the last line requesting that no men or boys come, but that girl children are welcome. Really, girl children are welcome? No offense, but the gifts and discussion during a l!ngerie are really not what I'd want to show my daughter as how you enter marriage, whether she were 5 or 15. And as an adult, I wouldn't really be comfortable with other girls there, either.

My favorite part has to be the insert card though. It provides the exact sizes, so we know what to bring, no matter what kind of l!ngerie we choose to purchase (because any other gift will be out of place at this shower - the only one we're invited to).

I love how the insert specifies not just the size and what type of item but also what colors by type of item, the fabrics to buy them in, and what brands to purchase.

Oh, and just in case - please remember that gift receipt so she can take back whatever she doesn't want.

The whole affair strikes me as crass, although it does crack me up a little. Maybe I'm just crabby this week. Or maybe I'm too much of a prude, but ... I'm really glad that instead of this shower - did I mention it arrived eight days before the actual shower? No? Let me make sure I point that out then - I will be at a football game cheering on my Wildcats.

What do you think? Am I overreacting to this, or is this the norm for showers and I've just been blessed not to have been invited this way prior to now?

Bring On The Bubonic Plague

This Easter is shaping up to be a fun one for me.

My husband has tickets to the first game at Target Field (the brand new home of the Twins) for their exhibition against the Cardinals, which is my husband's favorite team. He mentioned that he had these tickets and that we were going to go, along with a friend of his from St. Louis.

He neglected to mention that he didn't have tickets for the wee ones (although with a night game on Friday, that would be a trick anyway). And he neglected to mention that this was Easter weekend. Once I found out those two facts, I started hemming and hawing - and we love our baseball (and football and hockey) around here, especially in person.

Easter is a holiday weekend. It's for families. The wee ones want the Easter Bunny to bring their baskets, and I want to be with them to celebrate. We sort of agreed that we'd drive up sans children on Friday and then drive home Saturday immediately following the game. That's a lot more driving than I want to do, but it worked.

Then we got The Call.

In February, my husband's younger brother announced he was getting married. Considering that he's eleven years younger than my husband and had already been engaged once and had it broken off, forgetting the fact that he's made a lot of life choices that I certainly hope the wee ones never do, we didn't put too much stock into it.

Then we heard that they were planning to get married quickly (and no, not for that reason). They didn't have a date, but considering that my husband coaches in the spring and is either at or hosting tournaments most weekends in spring, he was fearful of what the date would be.

We finally heard from my MIL that the date did not coincide with any coaching commitments. Not only did it not coincide with any of the coaching dates, but we weren't invited to the wedding. No one was. They were getting married in Vegas and then holding a reception later.

The reception? Yeah... the Saturday night before Easter. Good-bye first Twins game. Oh, and the reception is going to be held about forty miles east of where my in-laws live.

Now we have a problem:

There is a reception that starts at the wee ones' bedtime in a city where we have no childcare on the night before Easter. The wee ones are invited to the reception, but I am sure there will be behavior there that I just don't want them exposed to.

The only good news? My husband got it and agreed with me one hundred percent.

But how do you say that you aren't going to your brother-in-law's wedding because it just doesn't work with your schedule? That just isn't going to fly.

My husband's aunt offered to let us use her babysitter for the evening. Buuuuut someone I've never met watching the wee ones in a city they don't know well while we are almost an hour away just doesn't quite sit well with either of us.

So we noodled and noodled on it. (Fortunately, the reception invitation hadn't come while we were thinking.) My husband finally suggested that I might become deathly ill on the Thursday before the reception, which would preclude me from coming. And maybe the wee ones will start to come down with it, too. (Sadly, you can see the impact of how we was brought up in the fact that missing Easter with the wee ones doesn't seem to faze him.)

And now I'm the bad sister-in-law hoping that I get sick. Or rather, planning to get sick. Then again, my husband didn't sell his baseball tickets for the weekend until we got the text last night from Vegas from his brother in law stating that "The deed is done."

An Open Letter To Icky Ladies

Dear Icky Lady At The Wedding Last Night Who I'll Assume Had Too Much To Drink,

Hi there, I'm the one who was in the bathroom stall next to yours at the end of the wedding reception last night. I didn't get a chance to talk to you, but I'm still stuck with the vision of you in my mind, so I have to share. I'm assuming you just weren't thinking, so I'm hoping this helps you in the future.

When I first walked into the bathroom, I noticed that there was a roll of toilet paper on the ground between two stalls. Realizing that it was likely that at least one stall was out of toilet paper, I resigned myself the to thought of using that toilet paper. Let me clarify: to using that toilet paper roll after I'd peeled off an inch or so of the paper that had been touching the dirty bathroom floor.

Fortunately, my stall had toilet paper, so it wasn't an issue. Even taking off the paper that I know was close to the ground wasn't quite enough to really make me all that comfortable with the idea of using it.

Anyway, I noticed when you entered the stall that you had great red polish on your toes. Normally, this wouldn't be that unusual, as so many women (including me) wear open-toed shoes. However, you weren't wearing shoes.

Ewwww.

You weren't wearing shoes walking around outside on the patio where cigarette butts at the very least and broken glass most likely were there just waiting for you to step on them. And you weren't wearing shoes in the skanky end of the night bathroom. Ewww. That really grossed me out. REALLY grossed me out.

But then, then, you picked up the toilet paper roll off the floor -- it must have been your stall that was out of paper -- and just ripped of a bit and then used it. Granted, at this point, I was staring at the divider between our stalls in horror. I know you didn't take off the outside paper that was on the wet dirty nasty floor, not even the first layer. Your feet weren't quite so bad then, or maybe your feet were more explainable after that.

But then you put it back on the floor again for the poor next woman! I had thought about this when I walked into the bathroom (because I have these weird hypothetical situation conversations with myself on a regular basis) and already decided that if I had to use the icky toilet paper off the floor once I removed the ickiest parts, I would at least have the decency to put it on top of the dispenser after using it rather that simply returning it to the floor to get even grosser. Next time, do you think you could do that?

And maybe wear some shoes when you go into the bathroom?

Thanks so much!



PS I did love your gold heels. I saw them sitting on the counter when I went to wash my hands, so yay -- you did at least have some shoes somewhere. I also noticed your gorgeous iPhone sitting next to your shoes. In the empty bathroom. Next time, you might want to find a safer place to leave it. I didn't steal it (obviously!), but it would be so easy for someone to do so. And wouldn't that just be the cherry on the cake?

The Much Anticipated Wedding Recap!

Ok, I’m long overdue, but I finally have a wedding recap!

The bridesmaid and I flew to Houston and checked into our rooms, which were lovely. I had a gorgeous view from my room of the forest that is part of the acreage and is threaded with trails. I don’t think you can actually see any of the nicely cushioned walking/running trails in the picture, but they’re there.

We immediately headed up to the groom’s room, because he and the bride had so generously brought us barbeque from their dinner out, which was quite yummy. The whole weekend was filled with little nice things like that, which were all so appreciated.

On Friday, I went to the health club at the Houstonian, which was far swankier than any I’ve been to in the past but I won’t complain. I actually got lost trying to find the track and/or treadmills for my run. When I saw an employee and asked him where it was, he actually walked me all the way to the treadmills rather than giving me generic directions.

The run actually went well, which was good as I’d been worried since I’d never run on a treadmill before. The weird thing was getting off the treadmill. I felt like I was going to do a somersault at any point. I thought maybe it was because I was overheated, as I don’t sweat and frequently have problems when it’s warm out. I actually chose to run on the treadmill vs on the lovely paths outside because I was worried about overheating. As I was walking through the café to get back to the hotel, I actually got a huge drink of water from them, and that helped a little.

After I got home, I asked a few people who run frequently their thoughts on why I felt so off. I’ve had a variety of responses, from agreeing that it was probably from overheating to the theory that I was looking at something too close while running for 36 minutes and then walking and seeing things move for real threw me for a loop to the theory that I needed to have the treadmill on an incline (which I didn’t know, and I think it was set at 0%) or it would be as though I were running downhill. Needless to say, I haven’t had the opportunity to try again, but I’ll definitely be experimenting this summer!

Anyway, after I got back, my friend and a friend of her mom’s picked us up to take us to get our mani/pedis. Ahhh, I love the vibrating chair and foot and hand massage. Actually, I could skip the polish and just do that part!

As our nails were drying, my friend presented us with our bridesmaid gifts (ok, the two of us anyway, the third bridesmaid still hadn’t landed from Israel). All I have to say, is: take a look!

They are freshwater pearls that were hand picked by a friend of the bride’s mom and strung specifically for each necklace. Now I feel bad for my friends when I got married. It isn’t like I got them nothing, but I just got them a spa case with a variety of products. Oh well…

We then went to have Pho for lunch, which was yummy and busy. I finally met my friend’s sister for the first time (they get along fine, but she isn’t in the wedding because she wasn’t comfortable with it) and several of her aunts who ate with us. Apparently, this restaurant is in what used to be a K-Mart. I had my hopes up briefly as my friend was telling me about the Icee stand in the middle of the floor, but I soon learned she meant when it was a K-Mart, not now. Still yummy!

And after that, there was more as we headed to get some bubble tea (mmmm!) and chat for awhile before we headed back to the hotel to relax for a little while. The other bridesmaid and I went for a walk on the trails and also to go check out the pools (yes, pools – there were four) when we ran into the groom and one of his brothers, who we also hadn’t met before. It took us awhile to connect though, as they were banging on the inside of mirrored glass and didn’t get that we couldn’t see them.

Finally we converged and went to go check out the pools together. Wow. I really wish I’d taken a picture of them, but I didn’t have my camera with me and never thought to take one after that. They had a slide built into some rocks near a waterfall – which we went down of course! Plus, there was a lap pool, a relaxing pool, a hot tub and more. At this point, we were both regretting not bringing our kids (and respective parents to corral them) so they could have fun there and we could see them.

We then went to the rehearsal, which was entertaining. I got lost trying to find the room but eventually made it and wasn’t even close to the last person there, fortunately! It was an entertaining rehearsal, as the room wasn’t the same room the ceremony would be in, so it was somewhat makeshift. The third bridesmaid was quite obviously not going to pay attention, which showed when we went through the second time and she tried to stop and stand in my spot instead of at the other end of the dais.

The eleven year old ring bearer wore his sunglasses and did his Miami Vice shooting fingers snap gesture all the way up the aisle. Fortunately, he left that for this part and didn’t do it during the ceremony. The flower children (the eleven year old’s half siblings) were obviously very tired after flying in from Israel that day, and they weren’t really interested in participating. It’s always a risk to have very small children in the wedding, and they were obviously a bit overwhelmed with it.

Fortunately, by the end we all seemed to know where we were going and what we were doing, which helped. And the bride was a good sport, as she even carried the bow bouquet I’d made her at the shower. Her dad was so cute walking her down the aisle. I won’t say that same for the bride when she sucker punched the groom as he leaned in to kiss her (after insisting that he had the wrong woman when “checking” under the nonexistent veil).

Pretty quickly, it was time for the rehearsal dinner, which was a hoot. The groom’s parents hired buses to get us from the hotel to Fung’s Kitchen Seafood Restaurant. There we enjoyed nine delicious courses ranging from chicken lettuce wraps to lobster to sesame balls. Lucky me, I took only a few bites of the courses that sounded the most appealing to me versus eating a bunch of everything. Some of the guests were a touch too full by the end of the night to enjoy the sesame balls and melons, but not me!

My friend also had the cutest costumes made up for the wine bottles. They were supposed to be a girl in a kimono and a boy in traditional dress including a cap and ponytail, but the restaurant only put out the girl costumes, not that anyone who didn’t know about it in advance figured it out or would have cared anyway. They were adorable, and both my friend and I were sent home with some of the extras to give to our children to use as doll clothes.

Unlike a traditional rehearsal dinner where the bridal party and families were the ones invited, everyone from out of town plus all the in town relatives were at the rehearsal dinner, which meant there were in the neighborhood of 120 people there. It was a little chaotic, but in a good way. And it also gave the two dads a chance to practice their toasting for the actual wedding night. They literally toasted (and drank) at every single one of the 17 tables, with our table being the last one.

That would also explain the discussion on the bus ride home (which fortunately included only the groom, the groom’s dad, the other bridesmaid, one of the groom’s brothers, and me). When the groom’s dad starts insisting that he’s getting too much information on details of his son’s life he doesn’t care to know about, you know people have had too much to drink. The only good news is that the dad may or may not have remembered it the next day. I didn’t ask.

The next morning, we had until 11am before the hair and makeup artist was coming to do us up right. Obviously, that meant we had to spend some time at the pool. We were both careful not to spend enough time in the sun to get tan lines that would show in our dresses, but we definitely enjoyed the weather.

Given the humidity in Houston, we all vowed not to set foot outside the hotel once we had makeup and hair done... especially since we were having it done eight hours before the ceremony! Only the three of us plus the bride’s MIL were getting our hair and makeup done. The third bridesmaid (who had no interest in talking to us anyway or meeting or getting to know her new SIL) wasn’t going to get anything done and was just doing her own.

The bridesmaid and I decided that we were going to enjoy our time getting hair and makeup done and ordered up champagne, orange juice, munchies, tomato juice, and Tabasco (to go with my friend’s vodka). I think the bride was surprised, but not unhappy, about it. And it definitely helped us pass the time while were hung out.

The hair and makeup artist started with my hair. I explained that it tends to be very curly and won’t work if she tries to straighten it, especially in this humidity. I told her she could do whatever she and the bride wanted with my hair, which turned into a half up, half down ‘do. Once completed, I felt somewhat like a ‘50s housewife and it wasn’t my style, but it was cute and worked.

The MIL was done next, and we watched our words with her in the room. As she was leaving, she told us that she was going to watch her grandkids so the third bridesmaid could come to our room to hang out for awhile and get to know us. Oh, and she insisted on writing a check to cover the third bridesmaid’s share of the snacks we ordered (and yes, I did finally get a check from the MIL for the dress Sunday). We all saw through her statement though in that she was forcing the third bridesmaid to spend some time with us because even she saw how sad it was.

When the third bridesmaid came to chat with us, we could see that she had spent time at the pool, too, and not just because she was still wearing her swimsuit with a coverup. I was hoping that the tan lines wouldn’t be too obvious with her dress, and fortunately I never noticed them that night. I will say that I understand now the MIL’s comment that she insisted on buying not just the dress, shoes and jewelry (she chose large and black, which I thought was an interesting choice given our dresses) for the third bridesmaid, but also her undergarments, as I don’t think I saw her wearing any others the entire weekend, not that I was trying to look, mind you.

Anyway, once the makeup artist left at 3, we were on our own until pictures started before the ceremony. We got the bride checked into her room, ensured the dress had been appropriately delivered and … wait a minute! The dress was delivered, but there was no veil! Fortunately, after calling both the front desk and Saks to find out where the veil was, someone discovered it in the luggage room and brought it to us. Crisis number one averted!

We made our way down to the girls’ changing room where we proceeded to get ready for the wedding. It was quite entertaining to watch the flock of women and come into and run out of the room to talk to the bride as she was getting ready.

The other bridesmaid and I got her into her dress and shoes, and she looked gorgeous. The makeup artist returned and touched us up – especially my hair that was being forced to be far straighter than I likes. Somewhere in there, the flower person arrived, and the bridesmaid and I helped check the flowers.

It was at that point that we realized that the chuppah had no roof! When bringing it to the bride’s attention, she blew it off as not a big deal, but fortunately we know better. Without alarming her (sorry if you’re reading this!), we alerted others who could help us fix it. The florist got it and wasn’t going to leave until we had figured out a way to make a roof for the chuppah. Somewhere, someone found a tablecloth that was large enough to cover it, and the florist pinned it up with materials from his truck. By the time he finished, no one was the wiser, and I certainly hope that he got a huge tip!

Finally, it was time for the ceremony. The groom and his attendants awaited everyone on the dais. One by one, the bridesmaids walked up the center aisle. Then we waited for the flower boy (the girl insisted on being carried by her mom, who was the third bridesmaid). And waited. And finally saw him, sprinkling rose petals behind him, coming up the side aisle. Mental note to specify the route for small children in the future. Fortunately, it broke up some of the tension in the room, as we all awwwed at him.

Then the bride came with her dad, and she was handed off to the groom. She looked gorgeous and as happy as any bride should. The opening line of the ceremony mentioned the importance of the chuppah and what the roof of it stood for (ha! Again, I’m so glad we insisted that was fixed!). There were no hitches, no lost rings, no missed steps. And suddenly, my friends were married!

The reception was just as lovely, with a gorgeous cake that I would never have dreamed up in a million years but that I totally loved and would have had for my wedding cake had I seen it. Plus, there was the surprise poker groom’s cake and the tuxedo flowers (that I only tasted because I stole one off an untouched plate near the end of the ceremony).

The dinner was delicious, with the main course of a center cut filet and crab cake – two of my favorite foods. It went faster than I thought it was going to, but the wait for the cake was worth it. I had the coconut (it was coconut, right?) cake that was supposed to have raspberry filling. Mine lacked the filling, as it was a tiny corner piece, but I snagged some of the filling from my husband’s piece who so generously shared when his attention was diverted. To be fair, I did give him my entire groom’s cake piece, as I’m not a fan of chocolate cake.

Once the dining was over, the band started to play, loudly as you’d expect at any public event. This was all the groom’s doing, and the Lost Boys play 80s music, which I’m totally good with. I think I danced for almost the entire time, with maybe one five or so minute break. The only downside is that there were literally no slow songs to dance to, which was a bit of a bummer. The gamut of songs they played was incredible though, and they did a great job, even though most of the guests left once cake was served. Personally, I don’t get leaving a wedding that early, but I’ve been to enough where people head out once cake is served. I don’t remember that really happening at my wedding so much, but I could have faulty recall there, too.

I will say that everything there was fantastic and well done. If anyone is ever getting married in the Houston area and needs some referrals of wedding vendors, I can definitely speak to the strengths and weaknesses of those that were used by my friend.

Finally, we got to the toasts. The co-best men gave their spiel, and I immediately was grateful that I had a written copy of mine with me as I listened to them. Then a friend of the groom’s parents gave his toast (and three times called the groom by the wrong name, which apparently was not an inside joke), which he does at every function where the families are together. Finally, it was my turn. I gave my toast and went to hug the bride. At which point I found out that I’d made her cry! That’s the mark of a good toast in my book, and it made my night to know that I’d touched her.

The next morning, we had a brunch hosted by the bride’s family at a house on the hotel grounds. Again, everyone from out of town, plus all the relatives were invited, so you can imagine the mass of people. When I had gotten the original invitation to the brunch, I had assumed it would be more formal, with food served, the hosts saying a few words, everyone there at the same time, etc.

The way they actually did it was very different, but it worked. The whole Manor House was rented out, and it was a beautiful spread of a buffet. People came in and left when they chose between 10 and 12, and they simply sat in a room at a table that appealed to them. The only disappointment I had was that I really had to search out the parents and in-laws to thank them again as I was leaving. The bride and groom chose to sit at my table, at least, so that made things easy!

Oh, and that whole outfit I’m wearing in the pictures at brunch… the whole thing is going. I never realized how unflattering that blouse is, but the magic of Kodak will certainly clear that up. I’m not sure I want any more pictures of me in any clothes after that! And the pants… well, as I was packing everything up in the bathroom, my makeup slipped off the counter and shattered on the floor. Oh yeah, and it splattered all over the legs of my pants (yep, before breakfast, yay!). I’ve tried everything I can think of to get the makeup out of the pants (that I’d worn once before that Sunday), but they’re trashed. If anyone has any suggestions, I’d love to hear them, but I’m not holding my breath.

Ok, and here’s my moment to be petty. The third bridesmaid did not choose a dress that flattered her. The primary issue is that she insisted on ordering a size 8, yet she is larger than I am (and I didn’t order an 8). With an empire neckline and A-line skirt, she didn’t have the most forgiving dress. We found out later that the MIL had to rip out the lining in order for her to be able to zip the dress. And she still (in the words of a friend of mine) looked like an overstuffed sausage in the dress. Another word of caution for those who are getting caught up in numbers instead of what really fits. While my dress turned out to be slightly too large even after taking it in some, I’m still thrilled that it fit well enough to not make me look like an immense cow.

And now, for the toast (and no, I didn’t write it on the plane. I actually wrote it Friday morning while waiting for the bride to pick us up to get our mani/pedis – but I did find the time to write it at least!):

For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Michelle. Thank you to Mr. and Mrs. K and Mr. and Mrs. R for such a lovely evening tonight, and to J and A for inviting me to be a part of it.

I’ve known J since she graduated from business school and started working at the same consulting company I did ten years ago. We’ve been through a lot together, and I couldn’t be happier for her tonight.

You couldn’t ask for a better friend than J. She is incredibly generous and always willing to help out. She’s never gone on a trip and not come back with some sort of gift for me, for my children, for my kitchen, or for whoever she thought might enjoy something she saw. She never comes to my house empty-handed, although all I ask of her is some company.

(This was directed at J) Over the years of spending time in each other’s company, we’ve had lots of fun, from someone offering to buy you at a Bears game to more cooking classes than we can count to endless Slurpee’s from the Seven-Eleven across from Wrigley that we’d enjoy at Cubs’ games. We’ve both had our share of dating issues and definitely kissed our share of frogs. In the past, we’ve joked that we are freak magnets, but tonight you’ve proven that this isn’t true.

It’s time to say goodbye to bad blind dates and awkward meetings in bars and to Ivy League dinners. In the past, there have been guys you’ve dated who we knew weren’t the one, but we always supported you. When you started talking about A, there was something different.

It’s far more than that, however. A and J are a great match. Each has quirks, but those quirks complement each other. A is a rock for J when she needs one, and J has an excuse to really cook with A. They both challenge each other intellectually and keep each other on their toes, which should provide years of entertainment for both them and those of us who are around them. But most importantly, J and A make each other happy, and you can’t ask for more than that.

I always knew that there was a man out there for J who would truly understand her and love her the way she deserves, and I’m so glad to see that she waited to find A, and that he is all those things for her. It may have been many years in the making, but A was certainly worth waiting for. It is so great to finally see you so happy.

Best wishes to the happy couple on their wedding day. May your love for each other grow with each passing year and blossom into your own family.

T Minus Four Days...

I realized that I have a heck of a lot to do in the next couple days aside from the usual working and wrangling kids. Fortunately, Google came to my rescue to alert me to all my duties prior to and the day of the wedding, as well as what I’m supposed to carry in my invisible shrinking bag on the day of the wedding.

My dress did finally arrive about two weeks ago, fortunately. When I tried it on, it was too big, but it’s since been altered as much as it’s going to be. I’m so not a sewer, so don’t ask me what was done. A friend’s mom did it for me, and said friend dropped it off around 9:30 last night. Needless to say, I’ve yet to try it on again. That’s a task for tomorrow, I think… somewhere between dropping Little Miss at preschool, an hour long conference call, running, picking up Little Miss, getting to Language Stars (where of course it’s parents’ week, so I have to stay), and going to Mom’s Night at Mister Man’s preschool. Oh yeah, and the final prep for the Cinco de Mayo celebration when I get back on Monday!

Fortunately, I already had silver shoes and appropriate jewelry, so that part is taken care of with no worries. And since we’re in Houston, I won’t even pretend like I’m going to wear pantyhose. The hair and makeup lady is going to take care of me, so that’s set.

And before anyone lectures me on being too irreverent or not performing my duties with the proper respect, keep in mind that my friend who’s getting married isn’t exactly into the whole girlie wedding thing. She’s no help to me when asking her what she wants or needs me to do, nor does she really care.

I do know that I have a speech to write, but I’ve yet to start on that one. Maybe that’ll be a task for the plane ride down (which means the other bridesmaid will yell at me when she sees me working on it then since she’s sitting next to me for the flight; she’s a little more uptight about this whole thing than I am). Anyone have a good speech I can use?

I know I’m in charge of keeping her dress straight and pinning up the train afterwards. Oh yeah, and holding her bouquet during the ceremony. All of that came as news to my friend, so I went googling MOH duties tonight and found a great list of what I’m supposed to keep track of.

Dress: Ummm, it’s living in Houston now and Saks will be delivering it to the hotel. I think I’m ok there. I will, of course, help her get dressed. And learn how her bustle works.

Bobby pins: Fortunately, I always travel with some in my overnight kit. Don’t ask why. Really, just don’t.

Makeup: Well, the makeup lady is going to do our makeup. Am I supposed to go out and buy a new set? How about the bride has a stash of powder or whatever, and we go from there?

Makeup for touchups: Oh! Apparently the makeup was the original makeup. In that case, makeup lady has us covered, and I just need to figure out touchups. Hmm. Maybe I’ll stop at Ulta and buy some of those blotting things to stick in my (hopefully) matching clutch and call it a day.

Clear nail polish: Obviously this was written for someone who’s not having a wedding in Houston. We’re so not wearing nylons. Although maybe I should bring some in case her 24 hour old manicure starts to chip. With my luck, it’ll be my manicure that chips!

Nail glue: Seriously? How about nail file?

Hairspray: Hmmm. This one may not be a bad call. Ten to one I leave it in my hotel room. That’s ohhh, an elevator ride away from the ceremony and reception. Check!

Tissue: Apparently this is in case we start to cry? Or snot runs down our faces? Actually, given the way I feel right now, that may not be a bad option. I have an empty Kleenex box sitting next to me because I woke up with a horrendous cold this morning.

Perfume: Just in case we start to stink, I suppose. May happen.

Jewelry for the Bride and yourself: I love how they capitalize “bride” there.

Wedding dress shoes and a casual pair for after: Umm, for after what exactly? Some fetishes I refuse to be a party to. Plus, the bride went with the groom’s mom a few weeks ago to buy some ballroom dancing shoes with special inserts to keep them comfortable. Since groom’s mom is a former ballet dancer, I think she’s covered.

Undergarments for the wedding dress: Ok, now they have to be joking. Do they really expect me to go out and buy them or hold onto them because the bride can’t be trusted to dress herself now?

Needle, thread (white and color of bridesmaid dresses), and scissors: Ok, this I was planning to bring, since I have a cute handy dandy little sewing kit. And it’s the best way to avoid jinxing myself!

Contact solution/rewetting drops or glasses: Now this is useful, as the bride does wear contacts. But I don’t. Maybe I’ll bring a little tote where I can steal things out of her room to keep in my “Official Things To Bring To The Wedding” bag.

Breath Mints: No comment needed, really!

Pantyhose/Nylons (at least 2 pair): Maybe if we were going to rob a bank….

Change of clothing for after: I’m starting to feel like I’m supposed to be a pack mule.

Phone numbers for all the important vendors: How do you choose an important vendor vs an unimportant one?

Watch: Ok, now I’m in trouble. My watch broke last October, and I haven’t gotten a new one. It’s on my List Of Things To Do, but I haven’t found one I really like yet, not that I’ve looked all that hard. Does my cell phone count?

Any prescription medication the bride or groom is on: Note here that they capitalized neither bride nor groom. Interesting. Actually, if the best man doesn’t grab it, I’m taking the epi pen for the groom who’s deathly allergic to all aquatic life, and I know there are fish type things on the appetizer trays and for dinner. Nothing like living on the edge at your own wedding!

Plane tickets and luggage if the newlyweds are going on their honeymoon straight from the wedding: Phew, they aren’t going until July (interestingly – my husband and I were married in May and honeymooned in July, too!).

Extra money (just in case of emergency): Heh. Can I assign my husband to this one? I’m notorious for walking around with $3 in my wallet for weeks at a time because I just don’t buy things and generally don’t use cash. I actually need to stop at Costco ummm Wednesday to buy a couple things and use my rebate check so I will have cash on hand for Houston.

A friend to stand by for back up (yes two words for them) in case the car has a flat tire or engine problems: Yep, we’re all guests in Houston with no rental cars, but I’ll find someone to be a backup in case a car breaks down. At what point do you just say that it’s fate telling you not to get married?

Your speech: hmm. See above!

Card to give the bride (always a cute friend idea): Coming from the person who doesn’t give anyone cards for any occasion and has her kids use scratch paper to draw cards for birthday parties, ok! Actually, maybe I’ll have my kids make some.

2 garters (1 to keep and 1 to toss): Really? People would want to keep their garters? I suppose I should ask her if she’s even doing a garter toss….

Groom’s ring: I can almost guarantee I'll have to wrestle the groom's mom for it.

Tylenol and Tums: Now this is my kind of partier! Whoever wrote this was definitely planning to have a blast at the wedding!

Deodorant/antiperspirant: Definitely stealing this from her room. I wouldn’t want to share with anyone or have anyone share with me. Actually, I’d go for the "not needing any more than I’d already put on" theory.

Phone Numbers of all Important Family Members in the Wedding, Bridesmaids, Grooms: Yep, that was the entire sentence and their caps, not mine

Toothbrush: Ah ha! Those visits to the dentist come in handy. I have a brand spanking new one that I can bring down (I use a Sonicare so the ones from the dentist usually get donated). Interestingly, they don’t suggest toothpaste.

Antacid: Isn’t that covered by the Tums and Tylenol? They’re really reaching now.

Cash (In small bills for tips): We’re going to a strip club and no one told me?

Apparently I’m not a good maid of honor. Fortunately, my friend isn’t a good bride, so it’ll all work itself out, right? Anyone have a guess as to whether or not either of the other bridesmaids will pay me for the dresses I bought them before the ceremony actually occurs? Or for the very nice shower I paid for? Whoops, that was petty.

Lastly, can you all send me good vibes? I’m actually skipping yoga tonight because I feel so yucky. With all the oranges I eat, you’d think I’d stay healthy, but apparently karma’s having a good laugh at my expense.

I Need A Bath!

As I've mentioned a few times now, I'll be the maid of honor for a friend's wedding on May 3, and we're wearing *gasp* satin. And my friend is a size 4. Needless to say, I've been trying to flatten my tummy since so wonderfully inspired by Dawn Meehand of Because I Said So! http://www.mom2my6pack.blogspot.com/.

Thinking about the activities I could do that would melt off pounds (HA!), running immediately came to mind. Mostly because I'm insane. I've never been a runner. I've never run. I remember when I was in grade school and had to do the Presidential Physical Fitness challenges and passed the situp portion only, if I remember correctly.

For the running part of the test, we had to run around the school three times. I had no chance of running even halfway around it, as I just couldn't or didn't run even as a kid. I remember my goal was always to finish ahead of certain kids just to save a miniscule amount of pride while Ben Nelson and Lizzie Lebens were done before I finished my first lap. Gee, I wonder why I never thought running was fun.

So let's fast forward a couple years.... One of my first posts discussed how winter just wasn't ending, and I couldn't start running until it did because my only option is to run outside, and I'm a wimp. As a brief update, after the crystalline snow last Saturday, it truly snowed on Sunday. Monday just a fake snow, but snow nonetheless. Later in the week, it slowly started to warm up AND the sun came out, too!

On Friday, my parents took the kids for an overnight visit (which turned into two nights, but that's another post) around 4pm, so I decided to start my running right then, as it was still sunny and relatively warm. By warm, I mean 42 degrees. My sense of heat and cool is truly warped after this winter.

In preparation for running, I had discovered a website that had podcasts for each week of the Couch Potato to 5K program. Being the lazy person I am -- ironic, no? -- I asked my husband to kindly download the podcasts from iTunes (free, yay!) and put them on my iPod. Sexist, maybe, but making my iPod work is his job.

I grabbed my iPod and started searching for the podcast, as I figured I'd better do it then, as I didn't want to look like a geek standing outside my house trying to figure it out. I found one podcast, but not all nine weeks. As I started playing it to get a sense of what I was going to be listening to while running, I realized that this was the podcast for week nine. Definitely not going to happen. Went through every part of my iPod and that was the only podcast on it. Patient me, I turned on the desktop (it's over 5 years old and slower than me jogging) to see if it was on the computer but somehow magically didn't make it to my iPod. I spent about 10 minutes searching for the podcasts but could find only week 9.

Now I'm starting to get discouraged, and I'm wondering if someone out there is trying to tell me that I'm just not supposed to run. Ever. But I'm stubborn as all get out, so I persist and open up my browser to find the podcasts again. Except that the Internet connection isn't working on that computer. I go through all the options I can think of to try to reconnect, but no dice. I don't even have the option of viewing my wireless networks to disconnect and connect again. After 20 minutes, I call hubby to ask him but he's no help over the phone and can't figure out anything beyond what I did. To be honest, I still don't know if that computer finally submitted or is still refusing to acknowledge the Internet.

I do have a laptop, but it's my work laptop, and downloading things is somewhat frowned upon. However, I figured that I could at least download a file. That's when I discovered that to download anything from iTunes, you have to install a program, which won't happen on the laptop. But knowing how everything is available somewhere on the net, I don't give up. Did I mention that I'm stubborn? I finally found an mp3 file that I can download. Except that I can't connect my iPod to my laptop. Fortunately, I have a jump drive, so I load the file to my jump drive and transfer it to the desktop. From that point, it only took me 15 minutes to figure out how to get that file onto my iPod.

By now, it's 5:30, and it's definitely gotten cooler, but I'm not giving up! I refuse! So I go outside, turn on the iPod and start my brisk walk. I actually survived all 8 one minute runs and the intervening brisk walks. I did the whole thing, and I was really proud of myself. My chest of course felt like there were iron bands being wrapped around it and squeezed, but I still did it.

I have since found out that a neighbor saw me and wanted to know why his wife wasn't running with me. She's not a runner either -- or at least not since college. To me, she's a runner. For God's sake, she plays soccer! Voluntarily! But I explained the program and what I was doing, and now I have a running buddy on Fridays and Sundays (during the week, we'll be running on different days). Way cool.

Except for the part about how I have to run again on Sunday. Hmm, that's today. For some reason, when I woke up this morning, my quads were really sore. Like the tops of them were being smashed with a spiked iron bar every time I took a step. Apparently running on Friday and then doing yoga on Saturday were not what my quads had in mind and they were on strike. Plus, today was again one of the days where winter tried to make one last push, so we didn't get out of the 30s today. And my friend has an uncle in the hospital with massive blood clots, so she wasn't going to be able to join me.

So what did I do? I ran errands this morning, went to my parents in the afternoon and had dinner there, then came home with the kids around 6. So of course, that's the time to go running. Not that it's gotten even colder, the wind has picked up, and the sun is over the houses. But I still went. And I survived again. Other than my quads squealing with every step, it actually went a bit better today. The iron bands squeezing my chest were now at least just made out of aluminum.

Until, of course, I sat down. Now I really hurt. And it's getting worse. I'm actually limping. And as my title suggests, I need a bath! Any guesses where I'm headed in about thirty seconds?

Oh, and for anyone who's thinking they can't run but has some sense of insanity and thinks they may want to try, it's totally doable. Find the podcasts at http://www.ullreys.com/robert/Podcasts/ for each week and go for it. It's so much better than trying to find mile markers or looking at your watch every third second to see if your sixty seconds are up yet.

I will say that I don't have the courage yet to figure out when my nine weeks of getting up to speed (ba dump bump) are up and I could possibly see how well I'm really doing by entering a 5K. A friend of mine sent me links for the cool 5Ks in Chicago that she wants me to enter with her, but I'm not quite ready to figure that out yet. I'll get there eventually though.

Oh yeah... and somehow I gained two pounds between Friday and today. I think my quads bribed other parts of my body to sabotage my efforts!

How Can I Support Her?

I did have a different topic to blog about tonight, but that one will be saved for another, happier day.

As I've mentioned before, I think, I'm the matron of honor (ok, maid of honor -- I'm not old enough to be a matron!) for a friend's wedding in May. I called her earlier today to see how things were going, and she mentioned that the other bridesmaid was supposed to help her write out invitations today but had called and told her that she had a family emergency and wouldn't be able to be there.

I finally got off the phone with the bride as hubby and I were about to walk into the restaurant for dinner, so I resolved to call the bridesmaid when we finished dinner. (My parents wanted to take the wee ones on a sleepover, so we used the gift certificate hubby gave me for Mothers Day last year.)

My cell rang as we were finishing dinner, so I muted it. I happened to glance at who was calling as I was silencing it and realized it was the bridesmaid calling me unsolicited. Needless to say, this broke my usual rule about talking on cell phones while with others.

She didn't sound upbeat, and it wasn't good news. Her brother has passed away, and she's in Connecticut right now emptying out his apartment (he lived alone) and making all the practical arrangements. Since it's the weekend, they can't even get to the medical examiner's office to see the body. They aren't certain what happened, but it was likely an accidental overdose.

I feel really helpless right now. I don't like not being able to do anything to help. Her daughter is with her ex-husband, so she's taken care of. She's in Connecticut, so I can't help there. I'll obviously be at the wake and funeral, once those are scheduled (fortunately for me, in Illinois). I want to offer to take her to dinner or something to take away some of her pain, but ... how?

This is the first time that someone I've been close to has lost someone important to them, especially in circumstances like this. I did volunteer to talk to the bride to break the news to her, so she had one less call to make (in fact, I just got off the phone with her), but what else is there? Other than "being there" for her, which is so nebulous, what helps?

Grace, That's Me!

As I was getting up to go to bed last night, I somehow tripped over the Swiss ball that was next to the coffee table. You mght ask why I have a Swiss ball next to my coffee table. Well, I'm in a wedding May 3 for one of my best friends, and we're wearing satin dresses. I think that's all the explanation anyone needs. And yes, I'm currently bouncing on the ball as I type this.

Anyway, the Swiss ball started rolling as I bumped into it. I, saavy being that I am, just continued my forward momentum, with my knee and leg kind of rolling across the top of the ball. That worked great until the ball was stopped by the air blower upper thing I'd used earlier that night to blow up my Swiss ball. I suppose it's time to buy a new ball when I have to blow it back up every second or third day, but that would involve the money and effort of buying a new one. Instead, I repeatedly blow it up. The worst part about this is that the whole incident is now truly my fault, since I was too lazy to put away the blower upper. Ironic isn't it, that I can exercise with the ball and yet not walk the 10 feet to put something away. Shhh, don't tell my husband I said that!

Needless to say, I stopped being able to move as the ball got caught, tried to put my leg back down to catch my balance, instead landed on the computer cord stretched across the space and managed to pull my laptop off the coffee table (including unplugging it from the computer AND middle "ends" and knocking the battery out), my phone onto the floor, the flipper (tv remote control for those not in my family) crashed to the floor and batteries scattered everywhere, and the lamp on the end table crashed to the floor and broke a CFL all over the floor (and I do mean all over -- those things fly in an explosion).

Oops.

You'd think that yoga would make me a little more graceful. Obviously, there's no hope for me! The good news is that with practice, you do learn how to fall in such situations, and I ended up with no injuries -- not even a bruise.

The last time I did this (ahem, yes, I've done almost exactly the same once before down to unplugging the laptop in two places), I also caught my hip on the coffee table and had a nasty bruise for a couple weeks.

And my big dilemma after all this? What do you do with a CFL that’s already broken and released it’s mercury? Is it still toxic then, or is it ok to throw in the garbage? If I knew where to recycle them – we haven’t had our first one burn out yet – would they take a broken one or refuse it? Would I end up with a broken toxic mercury laden CFL in my house forever simply because no one would be willing to dispose of it for me?

Can someone please reassure me that I'm not the only one with these types of issues?