That's Not What I Chose

Play along with my pop quiz here.

***

Years ago, I worked with a really fun woman named Val. She was in another group that I worked with regularly on my client. She had great stories about her kids and her life, and I always enjoyed spending time with Val.

One day, I sent her an email to check for accuracy (it involved technical things she was familiar with that I wasn't) and she responded with a couple minor changes. As I scanned through it, I noticed that she had changed the reference to her from Val. Instead, she had written out Valerie.

Weird. I'd known her for four or five years at that point, and she was Val. I was confused, so I asked her.

Oh. She doesn't like to be called Val; she wants to be Valerie. I felt horrible. For years and years, everyone had always known her as and had always introduced her as Val. But apparently no one had ever asked her. I felt badly, and I've called her Valerie to this day, as a person's name is theirs, not yours to change as you choose.

She still works for my company, and many people still call her Val, but I've let people I know that she prefers Valerie and shared my experience. And she also feels more comfortable stepping up and correcting people now. Good for her.

But it shouldn't have to be that way. Her name is Valerie. That's what her voicemail says, that's what her email says, and that's how she introduces herself. What's so hard about calling her by her name?

I have this same discussion every year with Mister Man's schools. I should have known better. People told me that if I gave him the name I did, people would shorten it without my permission.

And if he goes by a nickname someday, I'm totally cool with that. But if he starts out with the nickname, he can never go back. People just don't get it though, and it drives me batty. Just like Val.

The principal at his school calls him Mike*. His bus driver calls him Mikey. His aides and therapists vary between thetwo. And I correct them gently by saying things like, "Michael, say goodbye to your bus driver" or "Michael, what do you say to Ms. Barb?" It doesn't click with them.

I've tried writing on the form at the beginning of the school year that his name is MICHAEL, not Mike or Mikey, and he is not to be called by his nickname. Nope, that doesn't work.

I call his teachers and aides out on it. I ask them to please call him by his right name. That doesn't work either.

My new strategy is teaching Mister Man to correct them on his own by politely letting them know that he prefers to be called Michael (which he does -- I recently found out that he doesn't like even my nickname for him, oops!). He's a sweet kid who respects authority, so it's hard for him to stand up for himself, but it's a good skill for him to learn. Someday.

On the plus side, he starts summer school with new teachers today. Maybe this will be the place that calls him by his right name.

Do you have a name that people shorten without invitation to? Do you like it? How do you deal with it?

Paying It Forward!

Alas yet another PIF contest has come to an end. I am actually starting to feel a little cheesy about these, as I feel like they're cheat posts, but I'm an honorable person and when I win one, I'm supposed to pay it forward. And there will be one more, as I have another prize headed my way. Yay me?


Before we get to that, some mild humor. Gotta make the post worth reading, right?


As of yesterday, I have five guests staying in my house through the weekend. My MIL, FIL, BIL, his girlfriend and my husband's best friend have all come up from St. Louis. And I found out last night that my other SIL and niece are going to drive up tomorrow. Wheee!


Last night I was conversing with my husband before shutting the house down for the night.


Him: Have you seen Fat Boy?
Me: No, but Little Buddy is up here already.
Him: Fat Boy is usually pretty good about going straight to bed.
BIL: Is Little Buddy Little Miss? And the other one is Mister Man?


Umm no, sorry. Those would be our cats (officially named Meow and Roar). And really, Little Buddy and Fat Boy are not exactly appropriate nicknames for any children, let alone the wee ones I birthed. But entertaining coming from a single guy.


Anyway, I thought long and hard about this one. As I mentioned, the silicone pans are optional. If you don't want them, you don't need to take them (they're used but in perfect shape). I love my silicone bakeware and use it frequently. I just discovered after all my baking last week that I have four round cake pans and only need two.




And for the rest of it?

I love drawing tools for kids. And apparently I'm channeling my inner panic about driving to Minnesota by myself in two weeks.

Cute little Chinese dress for a doll. I had to take it out of the bag, as it wouldn't photograph in the bag, but isn't it adorable? (I've also been told that this works as a wine bag cover if you're doing an Asian theme.)

I love my little totes. And so does Little Miss. Nice and happy and summery!

More books, of course. And yes, more Sandra Brown. They go well with the tote -- take them to the beach and let your mind unwind! Old School isn't quite as light, but it's an entertaining read. I've read it twice and just find the whole thing intriguing. Not a book to take to the beach.

And without further ado:

Random Integer Generator
Here are your random numbers:1
Timestamp: 2008-08-08 22:27:11 UTC


That makes commenter #1 Ya-Ya's Mom the winner! If I don't hear from her by Monday night, I'll draw a new number, but since she told me she was interested in silicone, I'm hoping that she comes through! Tomorrow we visit some stupid Mommy moments.

I May Not Be Cool...

but I'll do what I can to help the wee ones on their way to coolness.

I was thinking about this today, as I realized that all the cool kids are at BlogHer right now. Laughing it up in San Francisco. Enjoying the not 95 degree with 99 percent humidity weather. Sipping frou frou drinks. Being entertained by the witticisms of all those around them. Gnoshing on appetizer that usually only appear on the Food Network.

They're the blog world's version of the cool kids. And I'm not even hanging out with the band kids. In fact, I was at work today at 7am. I worked all day until I left to go to the wake for my friend D's dad. My only entertainment comes from the wee ones and my husband. And appetizers? We don't even serve them.

Back in high school, one way to know you were cool was to have a good nickname. I never really had a good one. For softball, my sweatshirt read "Shel" but few people actually called me that. It wasn't until after I graduated college that I started to get some good nicknames. I'll decline to share them with you for the moment, though.

The wee ones, on the other hand, have a plethora of nicknames. And they seem to stick fairly well, as even those outside my family periodically use the nicknames.

Below is the Tally:

Mister Man:
1) Mister Man (duh)
2) T-Bass (thanks to my uncle)
3) Walnut (it will become clear shortly)
4) Tee (anyone think his name might start with that letter?)
5) Sweet Pea (only another year or two that he'll answer to that, I think)

Little Miss:
1) Little Miss (shocking)
2) Peanut (Walnut makes more sense now, doesn't it?)
3) Pumpkin
4) Kitten
5) Princess

When I first started thinking about this, I was sure that Little Miss was going to have more nicknames than Mister Man, partly because of her personality (again, the stronger the personality and the more people are drawn to you, the more nicknames theory) but also because we call her by her given name much less often than we do Mister Man.

I sometimes wonder how many of the nicknames will still be with them as they grow older. Peanut is so contant with Little Miss that I have a feeling she'll be a 6' volleyball player still named peanut.

Mister Man, I don't know. If he were to become a good sports player, he's at least got a decent stock of nicknames to start with though. Doesn't T-Bass just sound like a running back? And Tee works for so many sports. Sweet Pea I might have to let him give up though.