Top 10: Best Things About Being Single

So my family is back.  The RV trip is over - for this year anyway, although they're already talking about a trip to the Grand Canyon next year.  While I missed them (yes, I did), I've already realized that there are some advantages to being single.  I pointed out a couple earlier this week when I talked about what I learned from being single, but I think this topic deserves a full list, don't you?

Top Ten Best Things About Being Single


10. When I put something away, it stays put away. It was so nice to be able to find things, or to walk into my house and not have random things strewn about.  Even better, when I went to go look for something, it was still where I put it days later.

9. On the flip side, I have the freedom to leave things out.  While I loved having things where they belong, if I was having a long day or just felt like being lazy, I could toss something on the kitchen table and not have to worry about putting it away until I was ready.  And those projects I was working on?  It's always the same - you have to make it worse to make it better.  I could stop in the middle of a project and leave it out to continue later, rather than having to pile it up somewhere so it would be out of the way.  Trust me, mess like this also encourages me to be productive!

8. Multiple people make geometrically more laundry.  I did four loads of laundry after my family left town.  Once I was caught up completely, I didn't have to do another load because it was just me, and I don't make that much laundry.  Let's just say that I already have a load of laundry going, and wow it's going to be a long time before I get caught up again.

7. I get the weather only when I get the weather.  My husband is obsessed with the weather.  I remember when Hurricane Katrina struck, shortly after Little Miss was born.  The weather channel was on 24/7, and no matter what time I was awake or asleep, my husband was providing updates.  Even now, I've already been told that we are finished with the 100 degree days for now.  We are likely to have thunderstorms after noon.  The wind isn't strong enough that it should cause any damage. The humidity is at 54% right now.  You get the picture.... It sort of cracks me up, but I prefer my weather in small doses - when I want to know.

6.  Food lasts a lot longer.  When I cooked, I will admit that I forgot how to cook for one - which admittedly has its pluses and minuses.  That said, given how hot it's been, it was nice to be able to cook a meal and then eat it for leftovers for a few days.  I am one who can eat the same thing day after day with no complaints, and I did.  As much as I love to cook, it was nice to have the extra time to be more productive.

5. I can eat when and where I want.  Heat messes with my appetite.  When it's this hot, I'm just not hungry.  Or at least I'm not hungry at regular mealtimes.  When my family is around, I feel obligated to eat with them and to sit at the family table and talk to them.  While they were gone, I might eat lunch at 10:30 or I might eat it at 2pm.  And it's possible that there were a couple times I ate dinner at 11pm or midnight.  I like being able to listen to my body that way, even if my body is a little ... out of the ordinary.

4.  There's no discussion of what we're eating.  I forgot how just making breakfast is a production.  Silly me, I offer choices.  They are the same choices every day: Greek yogurt with preserves (Mister Man only), scrambled eggs (Little Miss), an omelet (Little Miss - guess who doesn't like eggs), oatmeal (both), or homemade granola (both).  They aren't a ton of options.  It's the same thing every day.  And every day, I have to go through the options, explain that no, there aren't other choices.  Discuss what sounds good that morning.  And then cook two different things.  And that's only breakfast....

3.  I can be so much more productive.  I had forgotten - or maybe I'd just never realized - how much time constraints curtail my productivity.  When I'm constantly operating under the "I only have two hours before I need to pick up the wee ones/leave for an activity/cook dinner/the bus gets home" - and more.  Having the freedom to not need to look at a watch and simply work until I was too tired to do more allowed me to get so much more done.

2.  I didn't have to fill up my gas tank.  Granted, I drove down to Naperville from my house twice (an hour drive each way).  I drove to Des Plaines one day (another hour drive).  But without the daily running here or there with the wee ones to and from activities and school and the like, it was amazing how much less gas I used.  Even once you include the errands I ran and things I did just for me, I drove many fewer miles.  I even heard my wallet say, "Thank you!"

And the best thing about being single?...

1.  Sleep.  Pure and simple, it's sleep.  There was no one snoring in my ear all night long.  No one tossing and turning on my mattress that really should have been replaced awhile ago.  No little giggles or noises of small children running up and down the stairs at 6am.  If I have trouble sleeping, it's all on me.  And not being woken up at 6am?  Now that I'm going to miss!

What are the biggest advantages to being single in your mind?

What I've Learned In A Week Of Being Single

So my family has officially been gone for over a week now on their RV trip.  Before they left, I was sort of sad that I wouldn't see them for that long, but I was also joking that I'd put up the disco ball in the foyer and have fun, too.  After eight days, I've learned a lot, but I'm about ready for them to come home.  Except for the fact that my oh-so-clean house quickly won't be.

The first day, I started tackling my to do list, and it was great.  Until about 5pm when I realized that I was by myself.  And no one was coming.  I felt a little bit lonely, and I wondered how bad that would get by the end of the week.  Interestingly, that was the only time I truly felt lonely.  Apparently I packed my days with enough to do and am also practical enough that I adjusted to it.

That said, there were differences.  The first night, someone rang the doorbell at 9:38pm.  From experience, I know this is neighborhood ding dong ditchers (ugh, grow up and parents raise your children!), and usually I get irritated and sometimes go on a hunt for them.  That first night?  I grabbed my phone and cautiously moved into the office that is next to the foyer where I can see into the street.  With all the lights off, I carefully moved the blinds so that I could peer outside to see if there was any movement, prepared to call 911 if someone were trying to break into my house.  Wait, was that really me?  It's amazing how quickly your attitudes change when you're with people or alone.

I also quickly figured out that four people eat a whole lot more than just one person.  Ok, I mean - that's obvious and all, right?  But when I've been cooking for so many people for so many years, it doesn't really sink in how much less I need to make for myself.  Usually if I make a tray of bagel dogs, they're demolished the first night, with maybe enough for the wee ones to have for lunch the next day before they've completely disappeared.  If I make my avocado couscous salad, I have enough for dinner and my husband and I finish it off at lunch.  Oddly, I still have plenty of both.  I've been doing so much less cooking because the food lasts so much longer.

I've also realized that I really don't like breakfast much.  I finally am not rushing around trying to do everything for everyone else and ignoring myself - my usual excuse for having "forgotten" to eat breakfast.  Home by myself, I don't really have that excuse.  A few days, I've made a green tea smoothie for breakfast.  But really?  I don't like cereal.  I don't feel like eggs.  I'm not up for oatmeal.  So shhh, but I've been eating my bacon egg salad or those bagel dogs for breakfast most of the time.

And I rediscovered my love of to do lists.  Every night before I go to bed, and ok some mornings after I wake up, I create a list of everything I want to do that day.  The list has been long, as in thirty items long sometimes.  That happy little rush I get when I remove something from that dry erase board is awesome.  But the weird thing?  With fewer time limits, I'm amazed at how much I can get done.  There's no one interrupting me for help with anything.  I don't have my husband sitting on a chair "doing nothing" while I'm working annoying the daylights out of me.  I don't have to keep peeking at my watch to calculate how much time I have left before someone gets home or someone needs to go somewhere.

My office?  It's almost habitable.  For years, it's been the dumping ground of "I'll get to it later."  Later finally arrived.  I forgot to take a picture until I was almost done, but the top of this credenza is how the entire office looked.  The entertainment center that was put there temporarily six years ago was filled in every nook and cranny with "stuff" that needed to be dealt with at some point.  Check it out now!  The entertainment center needs to be removed from my house.  And I need to go to Costco hoping they still have that wooden open shelf unit that I plan to use to store shoes, keeping them off the ground everywhere.  And I have a couple canvases of the children that I need to hang there.  Ok ok, and that credenza needs to be dealt with, but that will go more quickly than the entertainment center (and everything on the floor in front of it) did, if only because it doesn't have a mountain of paper that needs to be filed.  I can't wait until I no longer have to tell people to close their eyes and pretend that room doesn't exist as they walk into my house.

Interestingly, although I've done things with friends most days, I've forgotten how busy we all are when we have children - and the majority of my friends have children.  They simply aren't available to hang out for a few hours on a whim.  They can't just drop everything and have dinner or go see a movie.  Many of their husbands travel, so they're locked at home during the week.  And it slowly dawns on my that this is what my life is like when my family is in town.  I have just one more day before they return and my life is one again back to normal.

If you'll excuse me, I still have just a few items remaining on my to do list for today.  But I can now cross off blog post, right?

What do you think you'd do with a week of being single?

My Family Left Me....

I am completely alone right now.  Given that it's a Monday morning, this isn't that unusual, but I was alone last night, too.  And all day yesterday.  In fact, I'll be alone for another nine days.  My family went on vacation without me.  Seriously.

It didn't start out that way.  This wasn't supposed to be the plan.  Earlier this year, Mister Man did an inquiry unit on US landmarks where he focused on Mount Rushmore.  He loved learning all about it and asked my husband if they could go there someday.  My husband thought this was a brilliant idea.

And so the germ of an idea formed.  They announced they wanted to drive to Mount Rushmore this summer, and I told them to have fun.  I'm not a fan of road trips for a number of reasons, and I get really twitchy when I'm in a car for more than four or five hours.  The plan was for Mister Man and my husband to head there for two or three days in July while Little Miss and I hung out at home and had fun.

Then I went out of town to Blissdom.

When I came back, the idea had changed.  It had grown.  It was now a monstrosity, and I hadn't been consulted.  My husband had talked to my dad about how Mister Man wanted to go see Mount Rushmore.  Between the two of them they cooked up the idea of renting an RV and going to see Mount Rushmore.  And Yellowstone.  And then they decided to add Devil's Tower to the now ten day road trip.  My parents were now going, as were both the wee ones.

I can't do an RV trip.  I just can't.  Yes, I can get up and move a little, but the idea of being in an RV for over ten days with five other people gives me the heebie jeebies.  I went on an RV trip when I was fourteen with my family, including some extended family, for three weeks through the west.  I swore I'd never set foot inside an RV again after that.  I was claustrophobic in it after awhile, and we didn't sleep in the RV.  My knees don't like it when I sit still very long, and being just a liiiiiitle bit older now, this is more of an issue.  Oh, and I need my alone time.  I can't be around that many people without a break for that long with no space to retreat and be alone at some point.

Apparently my husband and parents thought I was joking when I'd said I wasn't ever doing another RV trip.  Driving across the country is just not a vacation to me, and I will admit that this is selfish. I was not thrilled that all this had been decided upon and presented to the wee ones as a done deal without anyone consulting me, but how do I tell them that I'm going to take this away from them?

And so they're on their way right now.  They were excited when the RV pulled out at 6am yesterday.  A smaller one than we had previously.  And they're staying in campgrounds - all five of them sleeping in the RV.  And showering and cooking and eating and living... for ten days.  They plotted out the driving, and in those ten days, they'll be driving for well over 40 hours.  Each day they drive, they'll be driving for between six and eight hours, sometimes more.

I don't know how long that excitement will last.  Neither of the wee ones sleeps well with noise.  Or light.  And they aren't exactly quiet.  I'll be interested to see how the trip turns out.  Before they left, Mister Man was already planning next year's RV trip to the Grand Canyon and other destinations, but I've put the kibosh on that for the moment.

Am I selfish?  Probably.  At the same time, I know it's better for all of us that I let them go and have their vacation and that I stay home where I can catch up on work and sleep and not be crabby.  When they come back, if their visions of a trip where Little Miss spends time fishing and catching more fish than Daddy are shattered by the reality, I will feel badly for them.  I don't think this vacation will turn out quite the way they expect, but I hope they're all happy with it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some work to catch up on.  They won't recognize this house when they get back.  Ignore that disco ball hanging in the foyer....

What's the most selfish thing you've done as a parent?