Can He Say That?

I bet y'all thought I wasn't going to post anything today. It's been a long day working, and choir practice went extra long tonight what with Maundy Thursday tomorrow, Good Friday services the day after, the Easter Vigil on Saturday, and two Easter services Sunday morning. I'll say it again -- I don't remember signing up for this when I agreed to sing in the choir!

But choir practice did have one benefit. Our choir director reminded us of an entertaining occurence from the service on Sunday.

We were supposed to start outside on Palm Sunday in the garden with a greeting and then process into the church singing and following behind a donkey. But there was no donkey. We processed without him, as it was too cold for us to even think of waiting for him.

The reverend made a comment after the blessing about how the donkey was on his way but was late. If we were lucky, maybe the donkey would make it in time for Communion, at which point the reverend made his way back to the altar.

And as he passed the choir director, the choir director said in a stage whisper, "What an ass!" Needless to say, the poor reverend was biting his lip and we're still not sure how he kept a straight face. None of us in the choir did.

At Least We (They?) Have Fun

I joined a new church last summer. And really, we joined a new religion entirely. I was born and raised Catholic. I was married in a Catholic church, and the wee ones are baptized Catholic.

We left the Catholic church though for a number of reasons, the final straw being the unacceptable (and unavailability) of religious education for the wee ones. We landed in an Episcopal church that is very different from any church I've been a part of before, and not only because of its very small size and tight-knit community.

The Sunday School for this particular church happens between the morning services, wich is different from what I was used to. It occurs in the hour or so before the service that my husband and I would attend. And adults are urged to attend the adult formation classes that occur simultaneously. Yeah... I'm not really into that. Being such a small church though, it would be obvious if I weren't there.

Then I found out that the choir practices at the same time as Sunday School. I enjoy singing, although I'm not a great singer, and they were happy to have another member -- especially a soprano, since there were only one and a sometimes member at the time.

I didn't quite realize what I was signing up for, but I'm in now. Not only do we practice on Sunday mornings, but we have a weekly practice on Wednesday evenings for a couple hours. And once a month or so, we have a couple hour practice on a Saturday morning.

Yesterday is a good example of such a practice, as we have a multi-church choir concert that we're performing in next Sunday (yeah, apparently kids aren't the only ones with choir concerts -- who knew?). In fact, we're performing in Navajo, English and Latin. Memorized.

Shockingly, I actually have the songs down pat after yesterday's almost three hour rehearsal.

Yep, I said a three hour (straight) choir rehearsal. Needless to say, we were a bit slap happy near the end, and me being the new one to the religion, they started pulling out their Episcopal jokes to tell me.

How many Episcopals does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two and a fifth.

In most relgions, whenever two or three are gathered in His name, he is present. For the Episcopals, whenever two are gathered, there's always a fifth present.

Or, as another choir member pointed out, for every four Episcopalians, you find a fifth.

Why do Episcopals all sit in the back of the church?
Because there are no pews in the parking lot.

Episcopals believe they are the only people God trusts enough to take summers off from Church.
What's the best part about being an Episcopalian?
Being Episcopalin never interferes with your politics... or your religion.

Yeah... and apparently they refer to themselves as Whiskey-palians. I just can't quite see having this kind of a conversation in a Catholic church. Maybe it's the churches I ended up at, but this denomination is definitely more my speed!

We're Going Episcopal

Back in May, I came to the realization that the Catholic Church just wasn't cutting it for me anymore.

Well, we started attending the local Episcopal church. You know, where Little Miss was supposed to start preschool last Tuesday? Yeah.

It's very different from the Catholic churches around here in some good ways. This is a country church, and I mean that in the best possible way. It's very small, and there's a real feeling of community.

The first Sunday we went, there were twenty one people in attendance, excluding the minister. Granted, it was the 8am service and Memorial Day weekend, but the church we'd come from averaged over 700 each week, including summer. So when the service ended, what do you suppose happened? Of those twenty-one, eight introduced themselves to us. And one woman tried to get me to be on the flower guild. Whoah, I haven't joined the church and I'm not an Episcopal -- too much pressure could turn people off! But they were all really nice and sweet.

Now that summer is over, there are more people there (well over 100 but I forgot to count). And today, the woman in front of me introduced herself because she hadn't seen me before. I always felt like I was sitting alone in a sea of people when attending Mass in the Catholic Church, but definitely not here. And I like that. Religion is community to me.

And the Episcopal church will give the wee ones the exposure to religion that I so desperately want them to have. I could pretend like I do a good job at home, but so far we've gotten into the following conversation one too many times.

Mister Man (or Little Miss): What does God do?
Me: He watches over us.
MM: Why?
Me: Because He loves us.
MM: Why?
Me: Because we're all His children.
MM: Why?
Me: Because He made us.
MM: Why?
Me: Because He loves us.
....
MM: Why?
Me: That's a really good question, Sweetie. When you go to Sunday School, be sure to ask your teacher.

I can only have that conversation so many times. And we've started talking about Adam and Eve and the Garden of Eden and their sons. But without weekly reinforcement by someone who knows how to teach it way better than me, I am just not comfortable with the base of religious education.

Catholics: $600 for my family to attend Generations of Faith six Wednesdays a year from 6:30 to 8:30pm. Oh, and that includes a dinner where we eat with other families, and then the entire family goes off in age appropriate groups to learn. Adults, too. But no kids under kindergarten age. Oh, wait. We can't start for two more years then since Mister Man doesn't go to kindergarten until next year and Little Miss until the year after. And what do I do with her when the rest of us go if she isn't welcome? Six times a year isn't enough for me.

Episcopals: Sunday School is every Sunday at 9:05 am between the two services. It's free. Children start at age 3 and go through high school.

That part of it really sort of made the choice for me. They start Sunday school next week. They're supposed to be in the same class as of now, as Godly Play is for ages 3-5. But if that's a problem, they'll move Mister Man up a level since he can read.

There are several other differences in the two churches, but really Episcopal is as Catholic as you can get without being Catholic, so that's somewhat comforting to me. The service is structured the same. The prayers are essentially the same, with some slight wording differences (and I still have a hard time saying "became incarnate of the Virgin Mary" and "suffered death and was buried" in the Nicene Creed instead of "was born of the Virgin Mary" and "suffered, died, and was buried." I'll get there though.

I love the bulletin that gives the words to everything. This may be this church only, but I can follow along with all the readings - versus looking them up in the missilette - and the prayers that will be said during the service. Definitely more customer friendly, in my mind. Not the most green though.

The Episcopal church also welcomes everyone, in many ways.

All can receive communion, including children who have not yet received their first communion. It's part of the whole welcoming everyone aspect of the church that I really love. Catholics? Technically, not only do you need to have your First Communion, but you must also be Catholic, have all your sins forgiven already, not divorced, etc etc etc. And there are children at the church now who get really into going up to the rail with everyone else. Oh yeah. You receive communion at the rail, old school. A little different, but I'm good with it!

The interim rector when we started going was a divorced woman. Yeah, not gonna see that in the Catholic church, are we? It's different but totally logical, and that was one issue I had with Catholicism. I still remember being in the 5th and 6th grades getting ready for the weekly Mass (yep, I went to Catholic school). It rotated amongst the grades, and starting in 5th grade, you got to do much more of the Mass. Except girls (at the time) couldn't be altar boys. That really turned me off and kept me from participating. Not exactly an issue here, is it?

The new rector is now in place. In the Catholic Church, the bishop would have appointed a new priest, and here's hoping you liked him. Here, there was a search committee who decided what kind of a priest they wanted and then did a job search. They found their new guy in England and offered him the job. He had a choice. And so did the parish. What a concept! And so far, he seems to be fitting in quite nicely. Today was just week 3 though (and my first week not out of town or at a wedding since he's been here). And yeah, he's married and has two kids.

In the Catholic Church, there were always three Masses (at least at the churches I went to). Saturday afternoon around 5 and two Sunday morning services. At this church, we have no Saturday service except for the three picnic outdoor services they held -- which alone were way cool. The morning services also have a very different feel to them.

The 8am service has no singing. No opening hymn or communion or closing hymn at all. Some of the sung/chanted bits in Catholicism (Holy, holy, Holy! or Christ has died, Christ is risen..." for example) were simply said. Needless to say, couple no singing with twenty-one people, and we were out of there in thirty-eight minutes.

Now, I'm not saying that church should be a specific length, but I sort of have an agreed-upon contract. I'm going for somewhere in the neighborhood of an hour, give or take. Holidays are longer. It may be a bad attitude, but it's my expectation. The Catholic church has started singing everything which drove me nuts. And drove the average Mass to over an hour twenty. Since Mass was 11am, that meant missing almost the first half by the time you walked to your parked car forever away since there was no parking by the church because it's too big and then drove home. Sad, I know. But Sunday and football are sort of a tradition, too.

The 10:15 service at the new church is much more familiar, with even some of the same songs that I sang growing up (no comments on the musical director at the Catholic church who I swear chooses only the songs that he wrong and published and the ones that are the most difficult and unintuitive to sing -- and I like to sing and can read music well). It has a lot of families with children who frequently sit up in the front pew to play in the extra wide pew with the paper and markers and stuffed animals and cushions for children.

Yes, you heard me. Something to keep the children occupied while their parents worship. Granted, there's also a nursery (where I put the wee ones), but if you want your children with you or if they don't do well separated or if you're working on getting them to learn to pay attention in church, it's set up to help you. What a brilliant idea to get kids to not feel like church is punishment. Oh, and the nursery is free, too. I used to have to pay $2 per child per week. Just saying.

So yeah... we're switching. I don't have to go through all the fancy rites of christian initiation I would were I becoming Catholic. They accept that I'm Christian and baptized and a believer and move forward. I just have to make a date to talk to the new priest to walk through some of the finer points that I want to better understand (like they only have two sacraments versus the seven Catholics celebrate) and then officially register.

Even though we aren't going there for preschool, we'll still go for church. And I'm happy to be going to church again. It's been a long time.

I Feel Like A Traitor

I was born Catholic – or at least baptized Catholic at an early age – and raised Catholic, including going to Catholic schools until 8th grade. I taught Sunday School when I was in high school. I got married in the Catholic church, baptized both my infants Catholic, and joined my local Catholic church when I moved to my new home two years ago, sad as I was to leave my old parish.

But now, I’m thinking of leaving. (Yep, I'm venturing into the waters of one of those three topics.)

I don’t particularly like the priest of the local church. I can’t really find anything to complain about, necessarily, but there’s just something about him that rubs me the wrong way. That, in and of itself, isn’t enough to drive me away, as there are visiting priest and other deacons, etc presiding frequently enough.

Another issue, if you will, is that this parish is really over the top. It is absolutely huge. It’s massive and very impersonal, in my mind. On an average Sunday, there are 750 people at 11am Mass. I’m sure much of it is my fault, but I don’t feel a part of the community there (forget the fact that I play on their softball team – in a way that isn’t at all connected in my mind, since I never see those women in church).

I am finally drawing the line at religious education. When I was growing up, I went to Catholic school, so my religious education was embedded in my school day. Those who didn’t attend Catholic school went to CCD (and took things from my desk, but I digress).

When joining our new parish, I spoke with the person who oriented us (orientated is not a word and one of my pet peeves) to the church. I discovered there that it was now called Religious Education (and I think there had been a name between that and CCD). However, disconcerting to me, the woman knew nothing about it and didn’t have a contact to give me. I looked into it on my own and discovered that it began yearly in September and started when children were 3 by that September.

Cool, Mister Man was going to start getting a religious education this year. Then, I heard nothing about it all last summer. I finally heard about the new program in a homily in August. They were introducing “Generations of Faith” which met 6 Wednesdays a year from 6-8:30 and included dinner together and then splitting out by age group for appropriate activities. The whole family was included versus just the children.

My problems with this:

1) In my mind, religious education needs to be reinforced far more often than 6 times per year, and I’m sorry but I don’t have the time or talent to do it weekly on my own (nor would it be effective, I don’t think – peer pressure is key)

2) My children go to bed between 6 and 7. Having things go – on a school night no less – until 8:30 just wasn’t feasible for me.

3) Generations of faith has no program or activity for those under age 4. Little Miss can’t stay with the adults but has nowhere to go, so we can’t participate.

4) This will sound bad, but the religious education is for the wee ones, not for me. I’ve been through it all, and I get it, but I’m private about my faith and have no interest in discussing it with others. I don’t want to do Generations of Faith.

Sooo I’ve been slowly exploring the idea of finding another church. As I looked more into Generations of Faith, I discovered that this is a Catholic thing and that all churches will eventually go this route if they haven’t already. That somewhat rules out Catholicism for my family if I want to have a base in faith without sending them to Catholic school, which isn’t going to happen for multiple reasons.

The closest church to me is actually the preschool that Little Miss will go to next year. It’s Episcopal, which I know little about other than it was formed thanks to an egomaniacal king. I don’t know how similar it is to Catholicism, but I do know that they do Sunday School (I love websites).

So I called over there this morning and spoke with the temporary minister, who is a divorced woman (she asked if I was sitting down before divulging that, which I thought was funny). I spent about a half hour on the phone with her, and she was really great. Obviously, I didn’t get all the answers or near all the answers from her in that short conversation, but we’re going to set up coffee or lunch some day soon to chat more.

This Sunday, we’re going to try to attend a service there. I did get a few of the service details from her, and there will definitely be differences from what I’m used to. I have only been to services with the Eucharist at the rail a couple times, but this is a normal Episcopalian thing. And the 8:05 service has no singing. The 10:15 service has singing, but she said something about the choir taking the summer off, so maybe the congregation doesn’t sing at all but just listens.

I don’t know that becoming Episcopalian is the right move for us, but there are a number of positive aspects, not the least of which is the Sunday school that meets for ages 3 and up throughout the school year. And the smaller community that is a community, according to the minister.

If this church doesn’t work out, then I’m on to looking at other options, as there are at least five churches in town of varying religions. I do hope this one works out though. Any suggestions as I start my search for a new religion for my family?