How I Spent My Summer Vacation

Ok, so it's really October. And this isn't all I did. BUT I made the mistake of building a little sand sculpture while a bit ummm bored watching the wee ones play on the "beach" at our hotel yesterday. Mister Man saw it and thought it was the coolest thing ever. Obviously, I've never taken him to any museums outside the Kohl's Children's Museum.


He immediately begged me to make more. In fact, he requested specific sea creatures -- since we're in Florida and all. I now know why I never went into professional sand molding. I've heard they have contests. We do snow ones up by us, and I'd probably be pretty bad at those, too.


Regardless, I'll let you admire my works. Knowing that they're all sea creatures of some sort, let's see who can figure out what they all are. I do have pictures of them with identifying "real" creatures, but I think I'll hold off sharing that for just a bit.






















Looking at these again, I realize how bad an artist I really am. Squint hard. See the animals moving below the surface of the sand. Hey, we had fun!

Hired and Fired

David Letterman heard that I've been spending my time in Orlando, and he asked that I provide a witty, non-political Top 10 list. Oddly when on vacation, I don't tend to sleep well, so the witty part I may fall a bit short on, but I can at the very least do the non-political part, right?

As this may be my only gig for the beloved Mr. Letterman, let's get a good drumroll going, shall we?

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Top Ten Things You Need To Figure Out Before Going On Vacation:

Number 11: (ok so I thought of an extra one; I'm getting fired already!)
Check every clock in the room.
I've failed to do this before and been woken up at obscene hours by very loud radio alarms due to someone's really poor sense of humor. When I checked the clocks in our room this time, one was on the wrong time altogether and every other one had an alarm set to go off between 2 and 4am. Yeah, really funny, people.

Number 10:
Does where you're staying provide the typical hotel amenities?
Lucky me, the hotel I stayed at had a washer and dryer in the unit, including detergent. That meant I had to pack way fewer clothes than I would have otherwise, and with the way the airlines are jacking up fees on everything, less luggage is a good thing!

Unlucky me, the hotel provides shampoo and soap only. No conditioner. No lotion. Whoops. I was sort of counting on using the good Marriott products, as I love the citrus smell they have. See above on the less luggage part.

Number 9:
Find something to do if the weather isn't exactly what you planned.
"Record lows" droned the tv weathermen the last two days we were in Orlando. Granted, record lows for Orlando aren't quite the same as they are for, say, Anchorage, but when you're planning on spending your days outside at the pool... well, let's just say we didn't spend our last two days at the pool. And Orlando is sort of an outdoor kind of place.

Number 8:
When traveling, bring along a jacket and long pants, even if you don't think you'll need them.
See above on the record lows thing. And honestly, even when you're traveling in a climate that stays warm like it's supposed to, indoor places like restaurants tend to accidentally turn the air conditioning down to meat locker. As my mommy always says, Don't forget your restaurant sweater!

Number 7:
Don't forget a thermometer and Tylenol, especially if traveling with children.
So you all heard about Little Miss's ER trip for her burst eardrum. I didn't mention our other incidents with her. While on Zithromyacin for six straight days -- not missing a dose, mind you -- Little Miss had a fever of at least 100 degrees. I have a feeling a visit to the pediatrician is in my near future. And on Tuesday morning, she was flying like Tinkerbell with my mom. I didn't realize it as I bent down to pick up a dropped piece of paper, but she was flying to me. I figured that out when I stood up right into her mouth. My head still hurts. Fortunately, as we all know by now, mouth injuries bleed a lot, but that doesn't always mean they're serious.

Number 6:
Travel with the magazines and Pull-Ups in your suitcase.
When you pack for your trip on the way to vacation, you always pack well. Things fit. It isn't too heavy, and it's all good. Somehow by the time you make it to the end of your vacation and try to repack, it's a different suitcase. My like the pants you wore on the trip down, it somehow magically shrunk. By traveling with magazines that you read and then discard and the Pull-Ups that are well used and discarded, you've suddenly created extra room and relieved weight in your suitcase. But shhhh don't let anyone else in your traveling party in on your secret.

Number 5:
A flashlight makes a great tool while on vacation.
Inevitably, your room will have a light that inconveniently doesn't work. Voila, flashlight! Or you need to find a way to keep the wee ones quiet while others are sleeping -- flashlights into a darkened bedroom for a "monster" search! Or better yet, go on a Woozle hunt at night to sneak in some exercise!

Number 4:
Find out if your hotel is at all under construction when you'll be there.
The hotel we stayed at has some neat features. They have the duck shaped paddleboats that you can go out on the lagoon with and burn off some of those traveling calories. And they have surrey bicycles that are great for the whole family to use when it's getting too chilly for the pool. And they have one of those huge climbing mazes that are a great way to burn off excess energy after dinner and before bedtime. Yeah. All but the boats were closed due to construction. And the boats were in a different location that some people had a difficult time locating. It's a good thing that no wee ones remembered this and had been promised some of these activities. And if you believed that, I've got a bridge to sell you!

Number 3:
Figure out where the pools and activities and restaurants are around the hotel.
This one I figured out when staying at the Luxor many moons ago. I had requested a pyramid room because that just sounded so cool. I went to the desk bleary eyed early the next morning to request a move to a tower room, as the noise never stopped. When I look around at some of the rooms by the pool, or when I listen to the karaoke and bar music, I heave a big sigh of relief that I made sure our room overlooked the golf course instead. Granted, there are vehicles running by outside our room regularly all night long, but any room would hear those.

Number 2:
Make sure you liberally use that "Do Not Disturb" sign.
Wee ones need to nap? Stick that sign in the door. You're taking a shower? Stick that sign in the door. You're eating breakfast? Stick that sign in the door! I have a huge pet peeve of being interrupted by housekeeping, especially on the day I'm checking out when I clearly haven't checked out yet and it's 8am. Of course that also means that we went without housekeeping service for three of our eleven days, but that's a small price to pay. No comment on housekeeping actually calling our room at 3:30 to see if we wanted housekeeping service that day. Guess who had been sound asleep at 3:30. Maybe I should add a tip about turning off the ringer on the phone!

And the Number One Thing To Know Before Going On Vacation is....
Always travel with grandparents.
I have not had to take a single child to the nasty, yucky, putrid public bathrooms in and around Orlando. For one who detests public restrooms, this is a major blessing. And I think I brushed only one set of teeth the whole trip. The best part? The Disney Classics book that was read 18 kajillion times? I only read one of those stories.

And there you have it. My very own top 10 -- ok, 11 -- list! And now you understand why I've been immediately relieved of my duties by Mister Letterman. Sorry, sir! I know this wasn't up to snuff, but I tried.

PS We had a full kitchen in the hotel, and I could see where people would leave a lot of stuff behind -- their pool toys, extra food, souveniers they forgot, etc. I had noticed that when I saw housekeeping carts in the hallways, I noticed that frequently some of what guests had forgotten included soft-sided coolers. It took until Day 8 before I realized that the housekeeping staff owned those coolers. And that they put whatever leftover food they wanted to keep in those coolers. In one way, I was sort of hugely creeped out by that. On the other hand, I'm really glad that some food at least isn't going to waste!

Happy Birthday, Rosie And Vince

So this is the kind of mom I am.


Mister Man announced to me on Wednesday last week that it was Rosie's birthday that day. Rosie was turning one. He asked if we could have a birthday party, and after giggling internally I agreed. A half hour later, Mister Man announced that it was also Vince's birthday. We agreed to celebrate both at once.


Luckily, we were running low on some staples -- milk, tortillas, pasta, cheese, fruit -- and had to go to Publix anyway. My dad and I found the bakery section and their cakes awaited us. Mister Man had informed me that Rosie wanted a chocolate cake with vanilla icing.


I don't like chocolate cake. I'd decided that Publix was conveniently going to "not have" any chocolate cakes, knowing that he'd deal. I sifted through cake after cake, rejecting many because they were chocolate or because they used dark blue or red frosting -- and those bitter aftertastes gross me out. My dad pointed out one that was mostly white frosting and just a tiny bit of light blue icing on the flowers.


I picked up the cake and asked the nice lady in the bakery section to write "Happy Birthday, Rosie -- R-O-S-I-E" and she started to turn away "And Vince!" I called out to her. She sort of turned and looked at me oddly, but went to do her writing. I got my cake back.





Have I not introduced you to Rosie and Vince before? Sorry, my bad! Meet Rosie (blue) and Vince (brown).

Go ahead. Make your comments now.

Unfortunately, while I did remember to buy candles, as you can see, I didn't think about matches. Remember, we're in a hotel in Florida. I'm actually pretty happy that they don't stock matches in the rooms. Fortunately, Mister Man was a good sport, and we were able to sing and blow out the not lit candles without a fuss.

We all enjoyed our cake (and ice cream), and Mister Man let me know that Vince really loved his special chocolate cake. Oh, did I mention that in my fluster of trying to find a cake that didn't have bad icing I forgot to check what kind of cake it was? Oops. That's ok; I really don't need the cake anyway!

So of course, what do you suppose the next words out Little Miss's mouth were? Yep, Snowy is also celebrating a birthday. That day. How do you say no to a face like this?

Ok, maybe it could be Friday. We actually ended up celebrating it on Saturday, thanks to some leftover cupcakes that Dawn left me from Joe's birthday -- which yay saved me from another trip to Publix to buy more cake and sweets none of us need.

And that, lady and gentleman, is the kind of mom I am.

Everyone Has A Job

In Florida, I was told by two oh so precious and precocious children, everyone has a job.

So what are the jobs, I asked innocently.


Wellllll, Grandpa is in charge of food.


Here, we made the mistake of allowing my dad to go to the grocery store by himself. To pick up some chicken for dinner. He came back with three 8 piece fried chicken dinners, a container of potato salad, and a massive cherry coffeecake. You don't want to know the experiences I had going to the store with him. Egads!


Grandma is in charge of the dishwasher.



Mommy is in charge of cooking the food. No picture, of course, because when is there EVER a picture of a mommy?


Mister Man is in charge of putting his trains away before we leave the room each day.



Little Miss is in charge of being a good mommy to Snowy.



And, I was informed on the way to dinner, Grandma is also in charge of Margaritas! (And yes, I had a picture of Grandma at dinner with four margaritas in front of her -- the 2 for 1 special where they have to deliver the second when they deliver the first in Florida -- but someone deleted it.)

Whose Life Am I Living?

Have you ever felt like someone is following you everywhere you go? Or maybe that you keep running into the same person over and over again, completely unintentionally? Welcome to my life this week.



Last Friday night, I made an offhand comment on Because I Said So wishing Dawn a good vacation at Disney and mentioning that we would be going there for one day but that we were staying at a non-Disney hotel. She emailed me asking which hotel, and it turns out that ... we're staying at the same hotel. At the same time. Hmmm....



She flew United from Chicago to Orlando, and (ok, so this part isn't a surprise) so did we. Same flight. Phew, we were one day later... and our gate was one gate off.

When we arrived, we both ended up paying $200 more for our rental cars than expected. Granted, mine was because my dad insisted that a 7 passenger minivan for five people (ok, six for the three days this weekend my husband is with us) isn't big enough and that we need an 8 passenger minivan.

We got to the hotel and had to change rooms. We meaning both our families. Our room smelled weird, and it wasn't near a pool that had somewhere for kids to play. We both switched to a room that was a bit more amenable to our needs. Fortunately, we aren't in the same building. That would have been a bit much for me (and I think for her, too!).

Although Dawn went to Disney much more than we did, we did end up going on the same day to the Magic Kingdom. Although we criss-crossed paths much of the day, we did end up in Tommorrowland at the same time near the end of her day there (and what we thought was near the end of ours). Weird how far you have to go to see someone who's so close (we're both in suburbs of Chicago). She's a very sweet and nice lady, I must say. And her family is so cute and sweet, too.

After Disney that day, we both came back to the hotel to eat spaghetti and meatballs. That wasn't planned. The spaghetti for both of us was from the local Publixx -- the grocery store down here we both got our essentials from.

See? If only I had four more wee ones and wrote a really funny popular blog and had a book deal, I'd think we were living the same life. Oh, and the clincher? Both of us are now sick. I had almost no voice this morning and could really go for a nice cup of tea wrapped up in bed. Sounds eerily similar, doesn't it?

The good news is that we all enjoyed Disney. Some high and lowlights of the day at the Magic Kingdom for me:

Mister Man was a great sport. The couple rides that he didn't like so much afterwards, he was really good during the ride. The Haunted Mansion, which he insisted on going in, he decided would be better when he's six or seven. He also wasn't a fan of Goofy's Wiseacre Barnstormer (or whatever) roller coaster. It was the first roller coaster he'd ever been on, and he decided he'd rather wait until he's six or seven -- sensing a theme here? -- to go on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. I was mildly bummed because that meant I had no one to ride my two favorite rides with and thus couldn't go on them.

Little Miss was a scaredy-cat, and I blame my mom for that one. She freaked out on the Dumbo ride, so we were stuck at the bottom until the end when they make every elephant go up to the top, at which she panic-mumbled "I don't wanna, I don't wanna" over and over. She also hid during the Snow White Ride, Buzz Lightyear, Peter Pan (or at least when Captain Hook was visible), and Pirates of the Carribbean.

They loved the Mad Teacup Party. The first time we went on it, my dad came with the wee ones and I. My dad doesn't like to spin and stopped us every time I got more than a mild spin going. We went on again for our last ride of the day without my dad, and we spun so fast I could hardly stand up at the end. They loved it! And Mister Man and I had to do a repeat on Buzz Lightyear because we loved that one so much.

Driving the Indy Cars was a challenge. Little Miss came with me and started out upset that she couldn't reach the steering wheel when I had us buckled in tightly. Then she was upset when she couldn't steer perfectly without bumping the track guide. I ended up steering from the passenger seat, which wasn't too effective but got us through.

We saw Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Eyore, Captain Hook, Mister Smee, Alice in Wonderland, and the Mad Hatter at various places throughout the park -- oh, and the monkey from the Jungle Book but I don't remember his name. The wee ones thought that was so cool. It wasn't how I remembered though where the characters wandered the park and shook people's hands and paused for brief pictures. Now, they had a designated space where people lined up with their autograph books and waited in line for a half hour to spend a couple minutes with the character. Call me mean, but we just saw the characters from afar, waved at them and moved on.

We also found some rides that were real favorites that the wee ones truly enjoyed. I think Little Miss would go on the Winnie the Pooh and the Peter Pan ride (hiding during Captain Hook, admittedly) over and over again. Seeing their faces as they experienced the rides was worth every penny.

It was a gorgeous day! It was sunny but not too bright. We had just a little breeze, and it was just warm enough without being too hot or at all chilly. My mom's jacket went unused. And the crowds weren't bad. Most rides for most of the day were either five or ten minutes long. Some were twenty to twenty-five, but we were able to fast track the majority of those, so we went on tons of rides without having to deal with too many yucky people.

I accidentally grabbed the wrong princess dress for Little Miss. You'll see that she's wearing a "normal" yellow dress with two princesses pictured in hearts on the chest part. I had brought down a pink Sleeping Beauty princess dress for her from our collection of dress up clothes in the basement. However, since I'd packed at 11:30 the night before we left, I didn't check too closely. The dress is a 6X, I think. No matter what size it was, it was so big that it fell off Little Miss constantly and was pretty indecent. She was not happy that I wouldn't let her wear the way too big dress to Disney. Bad mom!

We took no naps when we went, and the wee ones were great. No meltdowns all day. For all the walking we did and all the stuff we saw, we had remarkably few disagreements the entire day. If only every day were like that.

No one cooperated for pictures. I couldn't get anyone to sit still and look at me the entire day. I tried for awhile to get some cute pictures but then gave up and just focused on having fun with the wee ones. In the end, I think that's the right theory.

My mom insisted on shoving food in their faces every time they got off a ride. Granted, these were snacks she'd brought along, but let the wee ones eat when they're hungry so they learn the signals their bodies are sending them. They don't need to eat constantly. It wasn't my worry that the food she was giving them was unhealthy but that the message she was sending them (and she does this regularly -- including this morning shoving (literally) strawberries into their mouths) isn't a good one. When we stopped for lunch, Mister Man didn't want anything to eat bceause he wasn't hungry. Grrr!

All in all, I could do more Disney. My mom's not a theme park or ride person though, so she doesn't get why you'd want to go back. I'm glad we aren't there today because it's chilly -- relatively -- and rainy, but I could definitely do this a few more days. But learning from Dawn, I'd definitely intersperse some pool days in between!

Fun In Florida!

I'm remembering how wonderful it is to travel with my parents. Really, it's traveling with another set of hands... that the wee ones adore... who insist on paying for most things. This is definitely the way to vacation -- until it's 9:17pm and the wee ones aren't yet in bed, even though they're exhausted and normal bedtime is between 6 and 6:30.

The plane trip was great. We were able to get five seats in the same row, and the wee ones both insisted they wanted to sit by Grandpa. OK! Grandma and I sat in the across the aisle and read. Well, until an hour into the flight when Little Miss decided that she wanted to sit with Grandma and have Grandma read to her, so we switched places and I was now next to Grandpa. I continued reading. The grandparents entertained. Ahhhhh...

And I realized that I forgot my camera cable, so no pictures until we get back -- unless I can convince my husband to bring the cord with him when he flies down on Friday for the weekend.

Once we arrived, we checked into the hotel. Unfortunately, the hotel is mega under renovation, so the buildings my parents stayed in last time they were here were closed. They put us in a building far away, which is fine. Until we got to the room and it smelled funky. And the carpeting was wet from where (I hope) they'd just shampooed it. And the pool it was by had no shallow/kiddie area for the wee ones to play in. We ended up switching rooms to an area that doesn't have quite the same view outside, but I'm fine with that.

Finally settled, my dad and I went to the Publix to get food. We had a nice long list, as we have a full kitchen where we're staying and plan to not really eat out while we're here. My dad is uncontrollable. He gets so much food, such unhealthy food, such large quantities of food... but I was able to at least sneak in the whole grain Goldfish over normal Goldfish, whole grain spaghetti, skim milk and so forth.

Things I learned about Florida (ok, the particular Publix we shopped at): food in Florida is frickin' expensive! The watermelon my dad insisted on buying -- that I had previously decided was not worth it -- cost $9.99. The ham and turkey my dad got for sandwiches was $9.19 per pound. The tomatoes that I ultimately passed on were $2.49 per pound. Milk was $3.59. Bananas were $0.69 per pound. All of this is so much more than I would ever have paid for anything in Chicago. And I'm still trying to figure it out. It was primarily the fresh foods that were out of whack. Florida is in the sunbelt where they actually grow food, right? At least I got a pineapple for $2.99, which isn't so bad.

Poor Mister Man was so exhausted by the time my dad and I got back that he refused to go to the pool. I've never seen him back away from an opportunity to spend time in water, except for a bath when he was younger. Poor guy was exhausted! Little Miss, my dad and I went down to the pool nearest our building and spent about 30 minutes there before Little Miss was too cold to keep swimming.

Today was much more fun. Sorta.

We spent lots and lots of time in the pool this morning doing splashy cannonballs and playing shark and swimming with the noodles and more. We kept it up until everyone was so hungry for lunch that we got crabby. Oops. After lunch, everyone went down for a nap (and I so wish that I had, too).

When we woke up from naps at almost five, we decided to go hit the sand area and play there with the suitcase full of sand toys that my mom had packed. Little Miss asked me why her ear was bleeding as we walked out the door, but I brushed her off.

Silly me. I discovered shortly thereafter that she had blood coming out her ear! Apparently, I'm a bad mom. But hey, what's a vacation without a trip to the ER? Luckily the concierge gave me good directions to a hospital about five minutes away. Bonus points: it's part of my insurance network.

Long story short: very sketchy ER. Very interesting people watching. We were in and out of there in less than two hours, which I felt wasn't too bad. Little Miss has a perforated eardrum. They aren't sure if it happened on the flight yesterday or if her tube came out sometime today and caused trauma on the way out. Either way, she has it infected, so she's on antibiotics. The good news is that she can still go in the pool so long as she has her earplugs in. Can you imagine if they'd said no water by her ear until it healed? Shoot me now!

So yeah... we have five days of antibiotics, and good girl, she took her medicine like a champ tonight. And yeah, I'll be making that ENT appointment that I've been putting off. We get back on the 30th, so here's hoping there's an opening on Halloween. Poor kid!