Congratulations!

Dear Mister Man,

Today you "graduated" from preschool -- and forgive me, but I use that term loosely. In my mind, you have moved on from preschool, but graduations are reserved for high school and college. Even Daddy only has the eighth grade recognition ceremony at the middle school.

I remember when you first started preschool just before you turned three. I knew you needed the social interaction and the academics were fun play. Your teachers expressed concern that you would wander the perimeter of the classroom and knock toys down during the day instead of playing with other kids. You did a great job of listening to the teachers in circle time, but the less structured periods were a struggle for you.

Just over a month into preschool, you had turned three, and we moved you to the Early Learning program in our school district where the teachers had the expertise to encourage all your development, social and physical and academic. The first day, I followed the bus all the way to school to be sure that you were ok. Five day a week preschool and riding a bus were big changes for us both!

Miss Erin was a great teacher, and we saw differences quickly. Over winter break, for the first time you asked a friend if she wanted to play Candyland instead of talking to an adult. I was so proud of you!

You made changes large and small, from figuring out how to ask kids to play with you without knocking their toys over to actually now being able to walk up to kids in any situation and play with them. It's so cool for me to take you to the kids' area at the health club and listen to the stories of the friends you made and what games you created while I was working out.

Physically, you've come a long way, too. I would watch you struggle to do basic gymnastics moves like jumping down the trampoline or holding onto the rings or walking across the ladder. Today, you scamper up the tall ladder toys at the playground without a concern. You're very proud of all your strength, and someday, you're sure you'll be stronger than Popeye.

Academically is where you've amazed me the most. Dude, you are the smartest little kid I know. You started to read a year ago February -- or before, since I didn't realize you could read! -- and have so quickly progressed from the Bob books to reading Thomas books to now reading the entire Magic Treehouse series and Encyclopedia Brown. You do math in you head, you know your coins, and you're really starting to figure out spelling, too.

While some parts of your life are a challenge, you've been blessed academically. In fact, this is where Daddy and I are a bit challenged, too. We know you hate to be bored, and we want you to be challenged in school. We're still trying to figure out what school to send you to next year, but I just hope that you'll be happy wherever you are.

You've made so many friends over the past three years, and your teachers have nothing but positive things to say about you. Miss Dawn still insists you're the most generous child she's ever met for all the chocolate you've given her out of your own Halloween stash. All someone has to do is ask, and you'll happily give.

You are so enthusiastic about so many things. I love the joy you show when you ask Little Miss's teachers every day how she did in school, knowing the answer will always be "awesome." Your happy dance will always crack me up, and the way your face lights up whenever there's a surprise is so neat to see. You are a truly special kid.

My one word of warning to you is that you need to learn how to fail and to recover from that. I know you want to be perfect, but no one is, not even Mommy. It's ok to try and to not succeed. If you don't try, you'll never learn whether or not you like something, and no one is good at something without a lot of practice. Just try, and never give up. Mommy's always going to love you no matter what.

And you know what? You've done a great job so far. I'm so proud of you!



Love,
Mommy

Not Today

I'm blessed with the wee ones. They may get in trouble from time to time, but they're overall good kids. They've never been super shy or clingy, and I've seen and heard horror stories about that from friends of mine.

I remember the first day of two year old preschool for Little Miss (and keep in mind she is 25 months and 2 days old at this point). We met for one hour, and the parents stayed in the classroom to better help their kids adjust.

The kids came shyly into the classroom -- except for Little Miss who bounded in -- and ran off to play with the toys, after some encouragement from their moms. After a few minutes, the child would run back to mom to just check in or to pull her over to the toy the child was playing with. This occurred over and over again during the hour we spent there.

I know this, because I spent the entire hour watching it happen. I was uninterrupted in my survey of the moms with their children, as Little Miss didn't so much as look in my direction the entire class period.

When it was time to go, she cheerfully came with me and told me about her playing, but for whatever reason, she didn't need to check with me while I was there in the room.

Preschool this year is much the same. She ran to the bus her first day of school, and happily chatters the whole way there. Her bus drivers always remark about how happy she is.

Today, we had our first taste of the alternative. As Papa John (her new bus driver) pulled into the driveway, I hustled Little Miss towards her shoes.

But I don't want to go to school?

I looked at her in shock. She chose that moment to scuttle away from me and into the playroom.

What do you mean you don't want to go to school? Why not?

She looked at me soulfully. I don't want to go. I just want to stay here with you today.

Oh, it was tempting. What a sweet little angel who just wanted to spend some more time with her mommy. My heart started to melt.

Then I remembered this is my devious child who wraps everyone around her finger and pushes things to the limit just to see what she can get away with.

Sorry, Peanut. It's a school day, but I'll see you as soon as preschool gets over.

The tears came, and I had to drag her outside and onto the bus. Once she was strapped into her carseat, she was ok although still subdued. And yes, even Papa John noticed.

She got off fine, but I felt badly. I couldn't imagine going through that or worse on a daily basis, and I know there are so many parents who do. Today, I'm counting my blessings!

Little Miss Has No Bus

And let me tell you, was she hot that she didn't get to ride the bus on her first day of preschool. She's a big girl now, and she wanted on the bus. Mister Man got to ride on the bus, so where was hers?

Granted, the girl has a point. She should have been on the bus. I turned in the bus forms for her last Wednesday, and the bus company only requires 48 to 72 hours to set up the routes. And yes, she rides the bus to preschool because she goes to the public preschool, so it's a service they offer to those of us who live on the opposite side of the district.

There have been a few problems so far this year with the bus, some of them involving children being taken to the wrong house or to home instead of daycare and the like. I won't get into that, but Little Miss doesn't get to ride the bus until Thursday. She's not thrilled that she has to wait that long. The girl really needs to learn patience. Do they teach that in preschool?

Because she didn't get to ride the bus and because Monday is an office day, I decided I couldn't justify seeing her off on her first day. In fact, her first day required some juggling. My office is an hour twenty northeast of my house in traffic (which is why I leave at 6:10 to get there by 7 and avoid at least most of it!). And the preschool is 20 to 25 minutes southwest of my house. Do the math if I drop her off at 9am.

The fun of it is that Mister Man has his kindergarten program at daycare that also starts at 9am. Daycare is three minutes from our house, if that. And I can't drop him off early or really late.
Yes, I owe my parents a nice dinner out. They very kindly handled both children for me, including my dad picking up Little Miss at preschool and taking her to daycare afterwards. And tomorrow he's doing the same. Have I mentioned how much I love and appreciate my parents?

The good news is that she truly enjoyed her first day of school. She loves her teacher, and apparently her teacher has enjoyed having her in class (ha! See what she knows!), as well. She told me that she played a lot with Trinity and learned about how she uses her nose to smell. A successful first day!

My mom very kindly took photos for me of Little Miss. I'd requested some of her on the front stoop, as is my yearly tradition. Little Miss apparently didn't want to cooperate. I literally had a total of five where she wasn't facing backwards or sideways or some other goofy thing. Standing still is not her forte. And phototaking isn't my mom's....

Angst

Mister Man started preschool on Tuesday. He's doing well, and except for the mishap where he almost got onto a bus that would have taken him to the elementary school instead of his school, it's all gone well. I still can't believe he's only got five kids in his class this year -- I know it will grow as the year goes on and more kids qualify for and enter the preschool, but still five kids is tiny!

Little Miss was also supposed to start preschool on Tuesday. In fact, we've been using the "They won't let you go to St Marks if you aren't potty trained" refrain for several months now. But she didn't go. Why not you might ask?

Well, Mister Man's preschool is our local early learning center for special needs and at risk kids ages 3-5. Mister Man qualified when he turned three and graduated from Early Intervention but still needed services. His social development was far behind (fortunately much due to his speech delay that is now resolved), and his fine and gross motor were also delayed.

Little Miss has also spent time in Early Intervention. When she was six months old, she wasn't babbling at all. And by not babbling at all, I mean she didn't make a sound, including when she "laughed" - all she'd do was open her mouth wide with a smile and shake. She entered speech therapy shortly thereafter.

A little over a year into her speech therapy, they wanted her evaluated for occupational therapy, as well. She fell constantly and didn't use her hands to catch herself. Plus, she showed no reaction to pain. She had a really hard time moving from one surface to another, like from the sidewalk to grass. She qualified for occupational therapy well before her second birthday. But there were no therapists in Early Intervention available, so we were put on a waitlist.

Last August 31, Little Miss graduated from her speech therapy and now has quite the vocabulary. We were lucky. Her delay was due to constant ear infections (see the comment on pain -- we had no idea) that essentially had deadened her hearing. She's had tubes in for almost two years now, and the hearing is fine -- a huge relief. The speech therapy allowed her to catch up, and she shouldn't need any going forward.

When she graduated from Early Intervention, we still were on the waitlist for a therapist and we gave up in October. It seemed silly to keep paying for a service we weren't receiving. But she still falls all the time and ends up with huge welts and bruises and scrapes whose source are unknown. We constantly get incident reports from daycare and preschool from injuries she's incurred - at least once every other week, if not more often.

So we wanted to have her screened at the early learning center. The screening isn't scheduled until the Friday before school starts. So I found out last Friday that they want her at the school. I knew previously that she would have qualified as you now only need one qualifying criteria to attend (a change in Illinois this year, as it had been at least two until now). Qualifying criteria include everything from a second language spoken in the home to having been in Early Intervention at some point to having a sibling attend the school to income levels and more.

However, the recommendation is to have your child in the least restrictive environment possible, and I was hoping that this would mean the private preschool we'd signed Little Miss up for. They were concerned about her balance and stability, however, and strongly recommended that she attend his school. They picked up on something I hadn't noticed which is that when she stands to play with something, she sticks her feet out like a ballerina which is indicative of a balance problem.

I got the recommendation at 1:26 last Friday and immediately called the private preschool to let them know the verdict. They were closed last Thursday and Friday, so I left a message explaining and asking the director to call me. I just realized that I've yet to hear back from her. Now I'm irritated by that. Hmm.

Because the screening didn't happen until last Friday, the newly eligible students aren't to start until this coming Monday. I made sure to get all our paperwork in by this afternoon, including the bus forms on Wednesday.

By this afternoon, I still hadn't heard about when the bus was going to come to pick her up or who her teacher would be. When I called the school, the admin told me that the principal had yet to make up the class lists and may not get to it today. And that students may not start until Tuesday or Wednesday.

Oh no no no no no.

Monday is my in the office day. I leave the house at 6:15. My mom comes over, and the plan was for her to put Little Miss on the bus at 8:30 or so and to get Mister Man to his "kindergarten" program by 9am. Since it was her first time, I was going to stay to get Little Miss on the bus and take the requisite pictures but then head to work. And my mom had bridge at 10am. And our daycare doesn't exactly smile upon random added hours, nor should they.

I called again a little before five to get an update and spoke to the principal who explained that she'd spent much of the week putting out fires but totally understood my issue and was going to go work on the class lists right then and would call me back later. But no bus. Maybe no bus until Thursday.

I called my mom and she graciously agreed to take Little Miss to preschool on Monday -- which means that I miss out on seeing her off on her first day! -- and ensuring that my dad would take Mister Man to his program. That whole thing about trying to be in two places twenty minutes away at 9am just wasn't going to happen, and I can't go into the office that late. Or shouldn't anyway.

The good news is that she does have a class now. She has a teacher, and it's a teacher that I'm totally cool with. And there are currently only ten children in her class with a teacher and two aides. I know that will grow as the year goes on, but I don't think it will ever get above 17.

The bad news is that I'm missing her first day now! I'm debating faking the photos and pretending like her first day on the bus is her first day. Or making my mom take the photos and praying that she learns how to use the zoom feature.

The other option that I've seriously been considering for awhile is quitting my job. What I do is generally interesting, but I have a schizophrenic boss now. He's a huge micromanager which just doesn't work for me in general. And he piles on random assignments that he then forgets about two days later. He is never on time for meetings and frequently blows off meetings with me with no warning. But yet I'm an incredibly valued employee who they treasure.

I hate missing the moments of their lives. And I have so much going on outside work that I'd love to focus on more. I've yet to put together an agenda for the PTO meeting on Tuesday. I need to confirm that the newsletter goes out on Monday or find someone who can go to school and copy and distribute the announcements that the PTO meeting is occurring on Tuesday. I'd really like to get back to running. I'd like to do more on a day to day basis for and with the wee ones.

I knew I was getting burned out in mid to late June. My new boss started in early May. I had my week plus off at the end of August and thought that would be enough to recharge my batteries. I purposely didn't dial into any meetings while away and only checked email a few times. I came back and even that first morning soooooo didn't want to go to work. This is the first time that a vacation hasn't done it for me.

But I work three days a week, two of them from home. And I make more doing that than my husband does working full time. How can I justify giving that up? The situation I have isn't something that you can easily replicate elsewhere. And being completely meanspirited, I work in finance and that sector isn't doing so well. It's possible that my division would be shut down at some point in the next couple of years. The severance would be really nice.

For now, though, my alarm will be set for 5:40 on Monday. I'll leave my mom detailed instructions of what pictures to take of Little Miss. I'll call to make sure the handoff went well. And while I'm at work, I'll have plenty of moments wishing I weren't there, regretting that I'm not with my wee ones, and wondering if I'm doing the right thing.

Last First Day Of Preschool

Yep, Mister Man started preschool (for the third year!) today. Next year, he'll be finished with preschool, and already this year is so different.

He chose his own outfit and got dressed one hundred percent by himself. And he's in afternoon preschool for the first time, too. Considering that he napped the last four days and asked to take a nap around 10am today, that doesn't bode too well, but we'll see how it goes. We really wanted him to do an enrichment program a few mornings a week to keep him challenged and interested in learning, and of course that is only offered in the mornings.

Before we got ready for preschool, we did our obligatory fashion show. We do this twice a year where I take out every stitch of upcoming season clothing out of the closet and lay it on each of the wee ones' beds. They have to try everything on to get a clean bed again. This was, of course, my mom's brilliant idea, but I'll admit that it had to be done.

Things we found out:
1) Mister Man is an angel. He tried on everything we asked him to.
2) Mister Man has grown a lot since this spring (read: May) when he last wore a lot of his clothes.
3) Hand-me-downs are a lifesaver. I literally do not have to shop for a single piece of clothing for either child this year because of all the clothes they received as gifts from friends and relatives and from handmedowns. In fact, Little Miss's closet is so stuffed, I can barely fit all her clothes onto the rack.
4) Little Miss is not my child. She is an evil spawn of some Stubbornbeast that I have yet to beat.
5) Little Miss will never be a clotheshorse.
6) There are two ways to get Little Miss to try on clothes: threaten to take away Snowy (the bear) or tell her that the shirt she's about to try on matches her underwear. Go figure.
7) There will be some VERY happy little children in our area this fall. The preschool Mister Man attends has a not insignificant portion of very high poverty families, and the school has a great network to distribute outgrown clothes to families who need them. And you wouldn't imagine how grateful they are for little things like this (or making Easter baskets or Christmas stockings for kids). They never ask for it, but there's always a need.
8) Little Miss may have far fewer clothes that fit her than we think she does because we only tried on about a third of her clothes and instead did the "yeah, I'm sure that'll fit" for the rest. It was truly that bad.

After lunch, we took our traditional first day of school pictures, and I ended up with 23. Thank GOD for digital photography, so I can see what he's done that makes the previous picture not the one for the memory book. I finally started talking about my dad goofing around with him at the pool yesterday, and that cracked the first normal smile I got.


Then of course he got all cute and coy on me, so I had to save this one, too. Awww, can you believe he isn't even five yet?

Little Miss was very sad that today was not her first day of preschool. It was supposed to be her first day, and more on that later. Today is about Mister Man's first day. She did wait for his bus with Snowy though. In fact we all waited.

The bus was supposed to arrive at 12:30. Preschool starts at 1pm, and it's about 20-25 minutes from our house. We knew that Mister Man was the last pickup (he gets carsick), so they'd go straight to school after him.

At 12:46, I called the bus company to see where the bus was and was told that they were running late today. They seemed truly perturbed when I asked them to check to see how late the bus was so that I could drive Mister Man to school myself if it was more than five or so minutes away.

While I was on hold, a bus pulled up to our driveway and opened the door. Mister Man started to get on. "Is this Grant?" Ummm nope, it isn't. I did some quick thinking and realized this was the kindergarten bus and that I knew a Grant who was going to afternoon kindergarten. He didn't live on our street though, so I gave directions to the grateful bus driver.

Our bus showed up at 12:54. I talked to Grant's mom later today and found out that the two buses both stopped at her house at the same time (she has one son going to Mister Man's school on his bus and one going to kindergarten), which caused just a tiny bit of confusion.

You'll notice that the bus driver is checking off on her list that yes, this is in fact the correct child getting on the bus. Mister Man wasted no time getting on that bus!

And the bus driver remembered us. She had been our bus driver Mister Man's first year in preschool. God help me, I can't remember her name for anything, and I didn't have the presence of mind to ask. I did ask her if she could put him in a harness though (they hadn't told her that) and confirme that she would pick him up from daycare tomorrow and Thursday (nope, hadn't told her that either).

In the end, it turned out fine. He has the same preschool teacher as he did last year. This year, there are currently only five kids in his class -- three boys and two girls. My first thought? This will make his 15 child limit birthday party that much easier. I think that officially makes me a bad mom.

Truly though, having five kids in the class for a teacher and an aide should really help him out a lot this year. I hope! I know it won't stay this small all year long, as there are five more screenings yet this year and each screening means more children added to the program. At the same time, he's in the oldest and highest functioning class this year in the afternoons, so in all likelihood there won't be too many more children added to it.

When he got home, I asked him what he'd learned today, and his answer was "nothing new." I suppose I ought to get used to that. At least one thing hasn't changed though -- he came home with all his pockets filled with acorns that he'd collected from the field in the playground. They're currently sitting in Daddy's shoe (shhh!).

What Now?

I wish I could figure out what's going on in Little Miss's head.

In fact, I need to figure it out, and I need to figure it out quick. Preschool starts for us on Tuesday next week. That gives me fewer than six days to figure it out.

Oh yeah... you want to know what I'm talking about, don't you?

Well, Little Miss is potty trained. I swear she is. Or was. Or whatever. And when she starts preschool on Tuesday, she must be potty trained, or they'll send her home. And then they'll kick her out if she doesn't get potty trained until she is potty trained. And I just can't have that.

She knows that she needs to be potty trained to go. In fact, that was a big motivator to get potty trained. She really wants to go to preschool and be like Mister Man. And she really wants to continue swim lessons. And I won't do swim lessons if she isn't potty trained because that's just too much yuck to clean up after 30 minutes in the pool.

In May, my mom started her potty training while they were in Florida, and she did pretty well. When she got home, we worked on it some more, and she did well and got it and had very few accidents of any type. She was still in diapers at night but even during naptime, she was in underwear.

Then she started wetting nearly every naptime, and we got tired of doing sheets on a daily basis. Into nappy-time Pull-Ups she went. And she is still in them. I'm totally fine with this part of it, as I know it's hard to stay dry when sleeping, and frequently she is dry.

Then we started getting streaks. And not the running through the house naked kind of streaks. I'd be sort of ok with that, too. Nope, these are the kind that you find in underwear. Just a little streak and a little pebble.

So onto the potty she'd go, and ... nothing. An hour later, I'd smell something, and we'd have another streak. And yep, nothing on the potty. And an hour later, repeat.

Seriously, I had to go out and buy her more underwear twice because I couldn't keep up with the laundry. Eventually, she'd poop in the potty, but it appeared to be completely not related to her streaks. And it sometimes wasn't until a day later.

My husband has had it and wants her back in diapers, but we can't do that -- one because it's not recommended to go back and forth, two because she'll be totally fine for days on end and three because she needs to be potty trained when she goes to preschool in a short five and a half days.

And yesterday, my mom watched the wee ones in the afternoon while I met with the principal at Mister Man's preschool. In the two hours she had them, Little Miss had two accidents. Two of the pee pee kind. And she didn't tell my mom when she did, she just kept on playing. In fact, I don't know that she noticed them.

When we got home, not forty minutes later, she'd peed in her pants again. She had gone to the bathroom before we left my mom's, so I don't get it. And again, we discovered the accident only because my husband was about to take her out on an errand.

What is going on with her, and more importantly what is she thinking?

Is this a game of wills with her?

Does she not feel when she has pee or poop coming (which would explain why she stops the poop, but not until it's started to come out)? In which case, what do we do about this? But she was fine for awhile, so something was working, right?

Am I doing something wrong?

I wish I could figure it out easily. But right now I'm stumped aside from reminding her that she needs to be potty trained to go to preschool, congratulating her when she does use the potty, and cleaning up after her. What else do I do? What am I missing?

We're Three For Three!

Don't forget, tomorrow is the last day to enter the Pay It Forward contest. If you haven't entered already, you have until 8pm CST.

*********************

Today was the last day of summer school for Mister Man. So sad... no more getting picked up by the bus at 8:30 and being dropped off around noon five days a week. On the plus side, since he still naps (at least some days and needs down time on others), we'll be able to do more playdates with his friends.

Today was a special day at his preschool though. It was the official Fourth of July Parade for them. All the parents are invited to watch them come walk around the outside of the school near the end of the day and then have a picnic and eat popsicles.

As the PTO president for next year (yeah, I'm a sucker), it was my job to get the 150 popsicles to the school before the parade. I busted my rear to ensure they were there since I found out that this was needed on Tuesday and was working on Wednesday in the office.

What's fun about that? Apparently with our massive storms last night (I drove home from work at times going 15-20 mph knowing there was a street in front of me but not always sure where it was), the power to the school went out. Guess what happened to the popsicles that were in her freezer. The school sent someone out this morning to buy more popsicles from Jewel, but I still felt bad that this happened -- and that they didn't call me to help fix it.

On the positive side, the hat decorations they made this year were pretty cool, weren't they?


And yes, Daddy dressed him. That's why he's in his birthday party Thomas shirt instead of something more patriotic. At least it's blue, right? He was so happy to see us along the route. And his USA necklace is now a treasured possession at home. As is his patriotic maraca!

Little Miss really enjoyed her popsicle. Mister Man also had a popsicle, but he ate his so fast that I couldn't even find him to take a picture before it was gone. And yes, she is wearing a sweater on July 3. Granted, it wasn't the warmest day here today, but my mom is a freak. She's always cold, and I have pictures of me as an infant in Hawaii with a hat with earflaps on. And once Little Miss got it on, it was not coming off, much like the raincoat incident from last weekend. Oh yeah, and she got bit by mosquitoes on her eye, back and right arm again earlier this week when Daddy let her play in the backyard late in the day with no bug spray. Poor kid!

Then we got back to normal for us at a preschool type event where children are invited. They ran around and played and had a great old time. Little Miss spent most of her time on the playground equipment. It makes a big circle up high, connected to various apparatus, and she had fun running around and around the circle.

Mister Man spent more of his time on the "big kids" playground, which include this tire swing. He asked the little girl who was playing on it first so very nicely if he could also get on and swing, and she let him. He had a ton of fun going around and around -- probably because he made her do all the work!

It all looks fun, right?

Let me review the history, however.

At Back to School Night for Little Miss's preschool, they had an ice cream social that we all went to. As the kids were running around and playing, I suddenly heard a scream (Daddy was on duty for watching at the moment) and recognized Little Miss's voice.

As I ran over to the girl who never is bothered by falling down and appears to not feel pain frequently, I could see blood streaming down her fact. Not exactly a good sign. Some friends grabbed napkins for me so I could staunch the bleeding and see where it was coming from. We needed an ice pack from the school to finally stop the bleeding. Apparently in all their running, some of the bigger kids had gotten a bit overexuberant and managed to run into her hard enough to split her lip open.

At the next preschool event, Little Miss was running again at the Valentine's Day fundraiser. Actually, all the kids were running; I can't single her out. And again she somehow managed to bite through her lip and bleed all over the place, necessitating an ice pack.

So while I have some lovely pictures of the wee ones playing at the picnic, let me reassure you that there was crying involved.

Right after the picture of Little Miss was taken, she managed to run headfirst into a boy who was running the same circle in the opposite direction. They bounced off each other, and each landed flat on the back. He got up with no problems, but she screamed! Fortunately, there was no blood this time, but she did get a nasty bump and bruise on her nose. Poor girl.

After she was happy again, I put Daddy in charge of her and went off to find Mister Man. He was on the tire swing, which is where that picture was taken. When he decided he was finished, he climbed off the swing backwards. And misjudged the size of the hole under the swing. He fell flat on his back and burst into tears. Sweet, two wee ones crying within a span of three minutes.

As a side note, when a child falls into older mulch, it's VERY dirty. And when they try to crawl into your lap when you comfort them, you the filth is immediately transferred to you. Fortunately, it brushes off fairly well. And yes, he's fine, as well. He ended up with a red mark from the bump on his side but was soon off playing again.

Anyway -- Happy Fourth of July to you all. Here's hoping you have a happy and safe one! And enjoy the parades. I'll share the story of our parade last year one day soon, I promise.

Don't Send A Man To Do A Mommy's Job

Mister Man is doing summer school via his preschool, which means his routine so far this summer has been pretty much the same as it has been for the last nine months. The exception is that instead of me getting him ready and on the bus every day, I’ve left those duties – for the most part – to my husband. Instead I’ve been working or catching up on some much needed sleep or hanging out with Little Miss.

Before summer school started – and especially since it started on a Monday, which means that I’m working – I gave my husband the overview. I told him what time the bus comes, reminded him about the backpack, told him Wednesday was swimming day, etc.

On the first Monday, I settled down to work a little before 8 and let my husband do his job. As he’s rushing Mister Man out the door – what, the bus is here already?! – I stepped away from the computer to go see who his bus driver would be. Lucky us, it was the morning bus driver he had during the year, who we loved.

As Mister Man is climbing aboard the bus, I asked my husband what he sent for snack today. Snack? My husband ran quickly into the house, and the nice bus driver waited patiently. My husband dropped a Ziplock baggie into Mister Man’s backpack, and off he went.

The next morning was an off day at work for me, so I was getting Mister Man ready. As I went to put a snack in his backpack (strawberries), I realized my husband had never gone through his backpack the night before. I pulled out all the papers of work that Mister Man had done before. At the bottom of the backpack lay a bag of homemade chocolate chip cookies.

I held up the bag and showed it to my husband.

Me: Umm, what are these?
Him: That’s odd. Mister Man must not have eaten his snack yesterday.
Me: Uhhh, you can’t send anything homemade for snack. It’s sort of a district-wide policy.
Him: I didn’t know that.
Me: You teach in the district. How can you not know that? And what about the healthy snack policy?
Him: We have a healthy snack policy?
Me: Uhhh yeah… remember the paper that was hanging on the cabinet all year talking about go and slow and whoa foods? It had examples of each for what to send and not send for snack?
Him: Total blank look
Me: You never even noticed the bright red sheet of paper, did you?
Him: There was a red sheet of paper?

Really, that should have been my clue for Wednesday, when I was also working – fortunately from home. Remember, Wednesday swim day? As I was getting Little Miss dressed, I called downstairs and asked what swimsuit Mister Man was wearing that day (you’re supposed to put it on under your clothes and send a set of clean underwear).

The scampering of feet I heard indicated that no suit had been prepared. A minute or so later, I called out asking what towel he was sending. Given the answer I received, I walked to the linen closet, grabbed his Thomas towel and tossed it downstairs.

When the bus came, I went out to say goodbye to Mister Man. As he was getting on the bus, it dawned on me that my husband may not have thought to put our name on the towel. I unzippered the backpack and discovered… yep, a swimsuit and no towel.

My husband ran inside to get the towel and a Sharpie. As he started coming out the door, I saw that he had one of our bath towels and not the Thomas towel that I’d brought downstairs and put on the steps by the door so no one could miss it. Needless to say, we’re lucky we have a patient bus driver, as it took a few minutes to straighten out the towel issue.

We have only two weeks left of summer school now. The good news is that my husband is finally starting to remember all the things he needs to do each morning. Granted, his snack is usually graham crackers, but he did remember to put the swimsuit on under Mister Man’s clothes last week and put the underwear in the backpack.

But we still have a problem with emptying the backpack. For some reason, that never gets done (well, except by me). Fortunately, Mister Man doesn’t yet have homework. By the time he’s in elementary school though, I somehow have to get my husband to learn to empty the backpack.

But really, 90% accuracy is pretty good, right? For a guy at least….

I Have An Inkling About a Tinkling

On Monday when Mister Man and I had the stomach flu, my mom very generously showed up uninvited to take Little Miss with her to help prevent Little Miss from getting sick.

When she showed up, she had three pairs of Disney Princess underwear. Not surprisingly, Little Miss immediately chose a pair, took off her bloomers and Pull-Ups, and put on a pair of the underwear. Five minutes later, the bloomers came off and another pair was put on. Since she was headed to my parents’ house and I was feeling pretty wretched, I wasn’t about to fight it.

When I called Tuesday morning to check to see how Little Miss had done overnight and how she was feeling, I discovered that they were headed to Swedish Days in Geneva with my aunt and uncle. And my mom was brave enough to try to keep Little Miss in underwear (really, once she goes into underwear, there’s no going back). I stifled my laughter but reminded myself that it was her car, not mine.

Apparently, Little Miss went potty before she left my parents’ house. She went potty when she got to my aunt and uncle’s house. And she announced she had to go potty while at Swedish Days. Like most festivals, the only choice was Port-A-Potties.

Personally, I’ve trained myself to have the bladder of a camel to avoid most public bathrooms, and I can proudly say that I’ve never used a Port-A-Potty. Ever. The whole concept so grosses me out, I can’t even explain it. I can only pray that the wee ones will develop similar self-control.

When Little Miss got inside, she announced in quite the indignant voice, “Grandma, someone forgot to flush!” We’re all still cracking up over that one.

But she stayed dry. All day yesterday, and she was dry when she got back to our house last night. This morning, she chose Elmo underwear, and she stayed dry through all the errands she ran with Daddy, including announcing about five minutes after they finished eating lunch and were back in the car (Daddy has yet to learn to require that all children use potties before getting into the car). Fortunately, he was near a Dominick’s, and she quite proudly used the potty there.

She stayed dry during naptime. She stayed dry all afternoon and evening. And now she’s been back at my parents’ house (they do childcare on Thursdays) and has been dry again. She was so proud to choose her Ariel underwear this morning. Before she put them on though, she opened up her diaper drawer so that she could look at her old diapers and say good-bye to them – totally her idea and ohhhh-so-cute!

I’m crossing my fingers, knocking on wood, spinning counter-clockwise three times and whatever else I need to do to avoid jinxing this. BUT. I think Little Miss will be allowed to go to preschool next year (there was a question for awhile). Yay, Big Girl!

Someone Doesn't Like Me!

Someone just had it in for me today. Fortunately, they thought this morning’s yuck was enough, so the rest of the day wasn’t so bad. That or it was just someone else’s turn to have things go wrong.

First of all, I was exhausted this morning because someone didn’t put the cats in the basement last night, so they were meowing outside the kids’ rooms most of the night. I love my buddies, but until the kids are mature enough to sleep with cats, they unfortunately have to go into the basement at night. Bums me out, but … I’ve learned.

I suppose technically I could have gotten up and put them in the basement when I realized they were mewling for attention. But once I get out of bed, I’m up for hours. I have a better chance at falling back asleep – 15% vs 0% – if I don’t get out of bed. So I suffered through it.

Until Mister Man came climbing on top of me to complain that there was a kitty in his room that was irritating him – his words, not mine. I told him to walk into the bathroom, then run really fast back to his room and close the door since the cats looooove to follow him into the bathroom. Unfortunately, only one cat was gullible enough for fall for that. Roar stayed in his room.

Ten minutes later, we again had Mister Man climbing on top of me to convince me I needed to get Roar out. At that point, Roar jumped into the bed, too, so I rolled over and told him to go back to bed. Except Meow had then gotten into the room. Once he’s in, he knows he shouldn’t be there and scoots under the bed, only making ventures out when he’s sure it’s safe.

I finally gave up and got out of bed. I looked for the spray bottle on the stairs where I’d left it. Nope. Next, I peeked in the kids’ bathroom. Nope. I tried our bathroom – you know, where it actually belongs. Nope. I finally asked hubby where it was. On Mister Man’s nightstand, of course. *sigh*

Needless to say, I got the cat out of the room, but then the clock watching started for me. I debated turning on the tv or the light to read (if you saw my nightstand, you’d understand the need to read). I decided against it and decided to just try to sleep. Deep breaths. Counting backwards from 200. Drinking some of my water. Nothing. No idea when I finally fell back asleep, but I know I did because the alarm freaked me out when it went off.

Oddly, Mister Man did not want to wake up when I went to go get him. Poor guy was exhausted, too, but he doesn’t have the Mommy Fortitude that I do. Turned his light on to start the process of waking him up and checked on Little Miss. She had a poopy diaper needless to say, which I knew simply by opening her door. Although she did tell me three times, she really didn’t have to.

Once I got her changed, my hands washed, her dressed, and her hair done, Mister Man was still not awake. I had to do the dressing for him, which of course meant that we were now running late – and my snoozing the alarm twice had nothing to do with it, I swear!

Good news is that both kids ate breakfast fairly quickly, so we could start getting shoes on before Miss Deana got there to pick up Mister Man. Except Little Miss required another trip upstairs for a diaper change. Fortunately Miss Deana was running late this morning, so we actually had time to go inspect the daffodils and tulips that were coming up.

Just as I was opening the garage door to start putting Little Miss inside to shave some time because Miss Deana was running too late, she pulled up. Mister Man got on the bus, Little Miss got into the car – without a fuss – and away we went. I was looking at the clock and thinking that things were actually going well. Until I realized that I’d forgotten Little Miss’s backpack at home. I went back to get it, and we were on the road again!

I hit every red light on the way to her school, somehow. It’s a ten minute drive, generally, but I have 5 stoplights. And not only did I hit lights, but two of them required me sitting through more than one signal.

We also cross the railroad tracks twice. Because we had to go back for the backpack, all the school buses were headed back to their yard, which is right near her school. So three school buses ahead of me turned, stopped at the tracks to open their doors, then went forward. By the time we turned onto the next street, I had six buses ahead of me that all had to go across the tracks.

Of course, as I turned onto that street, I noticed that traffic was really backing up. Then I looked ahead and saw a freight train going across the tracks. Now, were I using my head, I’d say that I had just crossed tracks two to three minutes prior and there were no gates or sign of a train. Knowing that the trains that go through are typically very long, I should have turned around and gone the “sneaky” way. None of that dawned on me until much later, however. I’ve never had a freight train go by on my way to preschool, so that really threw me. (And I'm now really against the company buying the tracks and putting 25-40 trains through a day vs the 5 we have now!)

Seven minutes later (and yes, preschool had started by then), the caboose went by, and the traffic slowly started to move. Until the six buses had to stop to go across the tracks. And the light turned red. I kept looking at the clock and hoping that I’d at least be there before they locked the doors for the morning.

When I got to the preschool, I assumed that I’d at least find an easy parking spot (see previous post), but that was not to be. Apparently, this was Parents-Hang-Out-After-Dropping-Off-Your-Kids Day today and no one informed me. But we found a spot on the street, and we got there before they locked the doors, although she was the last one into class today.

I was fairly irritated by that point, and only part of it was due to sleep deprivation, I think. I hate being late, and it’s one of the things where:
a) had I remembered the backpack
b) had I put Little Miss into the car earlier
c) had I not hit so many red lights
d) had someone not decided they hated me today,
then I would not have been stuck by the freight train, and we would have been totally on time!

But! I found a silver lining. I didn’t get pulled over by a cop (the fact that I wasn’t exactly speeding probably improved my odds, but still – that would have been the icing on the cake!).

Should He Stay Or Should He Go?

Well, tonight seems like a good night to talk kindergarten, especially since I just came from the Kindergarten Roundup (just in case).

My dilemma is whether or not to try to have Mister Man attend kindergarten next year. His birthday is October 11, so he misses the cutoff. Easy decision, right?

Not so much, for a number of reasons. I want to do the right thing for him, but I won’t know what that is for several years, most likely. By then, it will be too late to change.

He currently attends preschool at our district’s Early Learning Center, which is the state mandated Pre-K program for special needs and at-risk kids. That should make the decision even easier, right? Of course not! He goes there because he had low muscle tone as an infant, which led to late talking and walking and fine motor development.

The late talking also led to social delays where he didn’t know how to interact with kids his age since he didn’t talk when they first started figuring it out, and when he finally started talking, they were beyond the initial stages. He still has an IEP for fine and gross motor (so he gets OT and PT once a week), but the rest of everything he’s graduated from.

This is all leading you to say I’m nuts, I know, but be patient with me.

He’s a bright kid. He has started reading (without us teaching him anything on purpose) and does some adding and subtracting. The kindergarten curriculum in our district teaches kids letters and sounds and sounding out words. There are about 19 words that the teachers told me they want the kids to sight read by the time they’re done with kindergarten. By my count, he already knows 13 of those, as well as some others.

When Mister Man is bored, he acts out. He gets goofy and checks out. I know that kindergarten is about more than just the academics, but he won’t make any social development when he’s constantly in trouble or bored.

He also is a follower in many ways. When he has strong role models, he brings his behavior up to them. When he has poor role models, he goes straight for the lowest common denominator. The role models he had in preschool last year were not the greatest, and his behavior deteriorated. This year, we put him in a class with better role models, and there’s a huge difference. The role models in kindergarten will be much stronger than the ones at the special needs preschool.

The kids in his class this year are all eligible for kindergarten next year based on their birthdays. Mister Man is the only one who doesn’t turn five before September 1, and he interacts fine with those kids and is making huge progress – especially in the last two months, socially in particular. His teacher talks about getting ready for kindergarten next year to the class, so we know they’re teaching him (and the other kids) the skills they need.

If he went to kindergarten next year, he’d be the youngest kid. I have mixed feelings on that one. First, he isn’t athletic, so that’s not a reason to hold him back (not that I’m of the mind that this is a valid reason anyway). Second, I was the youngest kid in my class (November 24 was my birthday – I made the cutoff by 6 days where I started school but then moved where September 1 was the cutoff), and I was fine with it. The fact that I saw other kids mess up with their privileges before I got them meant that I was more responsible when it came to those privileges. And I was never the first one to get something, so I didn’t have the peer pressure to do the wild and crazy things that no one else could do yet. But I know it isn’t always the same for boys as for girls, and every kid is different. Some kids don’t like being the youngest, and that makes things harder for them.

He’s also been in preschool for two full years already. If he doesn’t go to kindergarten for another year, that’s three full years of preschool. When I visited the kindergarten rooms, one of the teachers told me that until this year she would never have worried about it, but she has two students who did three years of preschool and then came to kindergarten this year and they were “overschooled” and bored. Nothing was new for them; they weren’t excited about anything, and academically, they’re already tuning out. That is definitely not what I want for my child.

And, if he does a third year at preschool, what will he learn or do there? Since he’s with all the kids going to kindergarten this year, he’s already gone through the curriculum. It would all be a repeat for him, which brings me again to the boredom and acting out issues.

One of my friends had a child in a similar situation. This year, he’s in kindergarten, and he’s bright and knows all the material already. He hates school. He never wants to go because he’s so bored. She’s told me that if she had known putting him in kindergarten early was an option, she would have gone for it in a heartbeat and now has huge regrets. Next year, she’s looking at a gifted school 45 minutes away (with no traffic) that she’d have to drive him to and from every day. I don’t want my kid to hate school. And I’ve heard many stories about kids who have been held back who get bored with school and start to check out academically, particularly starting in the sixth grade, because it’s too easy and they just don’t care anymore. Definitely not something I want to go through.

And a much smaller reason, but a reason nonetheless is Little Miss. Her birthday is August 1, so she’ll be only one year behind him in school. I remember some of the families where the kids were one year apart in school from when I was in elementary school. Invariably, the younger sibling was a troublemaker. I don’t know if it was that they were too close together in school, whether there were too many comparisons from teachers and parents, or whether it was pure coincidence. Little Miss is already a firecracker, and she doesn’t need any encouragement. Plus, I remember both siblings always feeling a little “weird” about having a sibling just one grade above/below.

When I visited the kindergarten, I asked the teachers what they looked for in kids coming into kindergarten from a social and emotional level. They want the kids to be able to separate from their parents; no screaming and crying kids at the doorway. They want kids to sort of know how to share a little. They want kids to be able to start following some classroom directions and rules. And that’s it. Mister Man does all of this now. I was expecting the bar to be so much higher, but it isn’t.

The more I talk to the school, see the curriculum, see what the students in kindergarten now are actually doing, talk to moms who’ve been there, and so forth, the more I lean towards sending him to kindergarten next year. The real sort of kicker is watching him blossom socially. As I posted a few days ago, he’s finally getting it. He plays with kids every day and truly has friends. With that component missing, I’d be more in doubt, but something’s clicked lately.

But it isn’t all up to me. His team at preschool has to recommend him for kindergarten. Then he has to be tested at one of the schools in district. Then they have to get my and others’ opinions. A lot of it is out of my hands, but the more I learn, the more comfortable I am moving forward and starting to push to have him go to kindergarten next year.

A friend of mine went with me to the roundup tonight. Her son turns six on September 2. She didn’t put him into kindergarten this year, as she also didn’t realize it was an option. He reads. He does math. He likes learning and does first and second grade workbooks for fun. And he hates going to his daycare/preschool because he’s bored there and isn’t learning enough. After going to the roundup, she’s seriously considering trying to move him to first grade next year for the same concerns I have. At least I’m not alone… but that doesn’t make it any easier.

Thoughts?

It's Time to Redecorate

What's a mom to do when your children bring home artwork? It's cute, and you love it, especially when they're in preschool. For the first month. Then you start to realize that they bring home at least one new piece of artwork every single time they go to preschool.

If you're really lucky, your kids head to daycare after school and make more art there. Add in additional children, stir, let sit for five months and you have:

Actually, there's more than this even, but I can't figure out how to upload any more pics than this. I know I've seen picture slideshows before, but I have no clue how to do them ... yet (hint hint if anyone knows and can share insights!).


Every bit of art that comes home is hung up somewhere in the kitchen. Last year, I made it all the way through the school year before I had to take things down and keep just five in Mister Man's memory box. This year, well, two kids in preschool and daycare means that I've already gone through the clearance once. You can see on the stools that I'm a little desperate for space. And I don't remember what my cabinets look like without all that artwork.


So tonight. Or tomorrow. Or maybe the next day... it's time to redecorate. Out with the Nouveau Preschool look and back in with Standard American Kitchen. At least for a few weeks until the fingerpaint and chalk and markers start crawling up the walls of their own volition to again take over the cabinets. As best I can tell, they feed on wood and multiply rapidly.


And now that I look at those pictures again, I can see that it's time for me to also reclaim my island, otherwise known of the Land Of Things With Homes That They've Run Away From. This is a very invasive species, as well. Much like mold in the attic, you may think you've gotten rid of it, but then you turn around and it's back in full force.


Of course, neither issue has anything to do with Mister Man learning how to use tape or either Mister Man or Little Miss getting tall enough to reach the countertops themselves, right?