What Happens If I Don't Weed?

I have the most awesome garden. It's somewhat circular, which makes it look cool, and it grows great things that I eat all summer long - from tomatoes to basil and chives and other herbs to cucumbers and zucchini to onions and garlic and ... lot more. It's awesome.

The only problem? Well, that garden only exists in my head. Somehow, I haven't gotten it planted. Worse? I haven't weeded anything all summer long. I mean all summer. Period.

I have excuses - they aren't really good ones, but they're excuses. I was busy with fundraisers at both the wee ones schools and that took all my free time during the day. Then it was really cold outside. Then it rained rained rained. Then it was hot. Then the mosquitoes came. And it rained again. And I was out of town five separate times this summer, putting my further behind on the day to day things I need to do. Did I mention it was hot and rainy and the mosquitoes yet?

Anyway. By the time school started up, this is what my beautiful garden (and landscaping) looked like:

I am ... really rather embarrassed by my weeds - but thrilled that at the very least I have no neighbors behind my house so at least it's only the neighbors on the side that can see it, if they happen to look in that direction. Which I'm really hoping they don't.

So what did I do? I started weeding. I'm not done, but I've spent hours and hours and hours clearing things out. My broken toe is slowing me down, but I'll get back to it quickly once I can put pressure on it. My experience means that I now have favorite and not favorite weeds.

Check it out. Who ever figured someone would have a "favorite" weed? I feel like it's really wrong that I do, but I have to share my new knowledge anyway.

Dandelions
I think we can all agree that dandelions are the bane of any garden. They seed everywhere if you don't get them before they turn cute and puffy, especially if you have small children who think it's fun to spread those seeds everywhere. You can't just pull them out, though. They have deep roots, and if you don't get the root out, they'll just grow back bigger and stronger. I have a special little tool that I use to pull these weeds, but they are tricky, and they take some time to pull. I've also learned that I have to make sure I get all the leaves gathered before I start using my get down to root tool or I miss it.

More embarrassing? These are some of our dandelions. I didn't know that dandelions grew this tall. Seriously, they are taller than I am. They're well over six feet. Did I mention lots of rain and then hot sunshiney weather?

Morning Glory
And then there's morning glory. I hate hate hate this weed. It is probably my least favorite of them all. Why do I hate it? It's everywhere. You can't just pull it up. It goes underground and its roots spread, then pops up elsewhere and continues to do this ... everywhere. I'm doing my best to control it, but it goes everywhere and climbs everything, and I'm concerned it's going to kill some of the bushes I actually want! Needless to say, this weed alone has convinced me to go buy a tiller and till the sod out of my landscaping once I get it all cleared out in the hopes of finally eradicating the morning glory. It may have gorgeous flowers, but I still hate it.

Thistle
Those are really the worst ones for me. Thistles, I'm actually good with. It sounds surprising, doesn't it? They don't bother me much though. Yes, they're prickly, but I have work gloves that protect my hands. They tend to come out fairly easily though when I pull, meaning I can get the whole root and not have it grow back - most of the time. My only challenge comes when I try to pull the thistle and don't get the right angle to where the leaves or stem start to break and they get slippery or break and don't come out cleanly. Then I have to wait for it to grow back and pull it then. But in general? Thistles aren't too bad.

Grass
Ummm yes. Grass. Because weeds are defined as things that grow where you don't want them growing, right? I love grass, but it needs to be in the lawn and not in my garden. These come up super easy, and if they're small patches of "good" grass that I can just toss onto my lawn in the hopes that it will take root there where it's supposed to grow.

I do sometimes have the really tall ones that grow that start to seed that I don't want to put in my lawn and so those go into the kraft bags. The good news? They come out with hardly any effort, they have shallow roots, and they go away easily. Oh, and they aren't prickly. The only bad thing is that I'm slightly allergic to them, and I have little red marks all over my arms and hands - even under the gloves - when I pick them. Fortunately, the itching and marks go away after a few hours!

The Random Weeds I Like
That's about where my knowledge of plants and such ends. This may also be another reason why I've never successfully planted and maintained my garden (and why I have a friend coming over to tell me what to do with my poor rose bushes and help me split my hostas).

That said, I do have more weeds that I like pulling - if I have to pull weeds at all, which I very obviously do.

I'd never seen this weed before late this summer, but there were tons of them in my weed patch. I don't know what they are, but they grow relatively tall, so I don't have to bend down very far. They are other ones that have shallow roots and come from the ground quickly. Plus, they have several branches that lead to one root, so it feels like I'm pulling out more weeds than I really am after I get these out.

These ones are very similar to the last weed. They are a low effort, high reward pull for me. Plus, they have a pretty flower, so I get a smile when I pull them, too. These are pretty sturdy, so I've yet to have a single one break on me when trying to pull it, unlike just about every other weed out there.

And then we have my "favorite" weed. This one has a downside in that it's ... slightly stinky, but fortunately just a little bit. This one comes out amazingly easy. When I first went to pull it, I was thinking it would be similar to the dandelion and be a pain, but it comes out amazingly easily. The very best part though? Its leaves spread across the ground, and those leaves are large. They for some reason keep other weeds from growing close to them, so when I pull these weeds, it makes a huge difference in the cleanliness of the weed patch.

So yeah... they're my favorite weed. And somehow, that still sounds wrong.

That said, I've made progress. The front of my house is completely clear. The side of my house is clear. And that weed patch? I can actually see some brown. I think that stuff is called dirt, right? If I keep it up, I may be able to plant some fall onions and garlic. Those are ones you plant in the fall, right?

Eh, let's just take it one step at a time!

So do you have a favorite weed, or is it just me? Or better yet... any tips for me?

And we're back to giveaways... want to win a Mechatar robot? Go find out what one is and enter!

My Neighbors Hate Me

I’m a nice person, I swear I am. But I’m also one of those neighbors. While my husband usually does a good job of keeping the lawn mowed and edged – as he likes to remind me, he worked for the parks and rec department when he was in high school – there are times when his schedule gets too busy to keep things up the way we want them to.

He has baseball announcing after teaching all day at school and doesn’t get home until late. Or he has a Scholastic Bowl match that keeps him away. Or it rains. Or he’s in a tournament. Or he decides the Monday before Memorial Day that this is the time to finally get the mower tuned up and its blades sharpened.

(My only comment is to ask – any guesses as to how many days it takes to service a non-emergency repair of a lawn mower at the end of May? 13 business days, in case anyone’s wondering. Ok, I’ll comment: I asked him in November of 2006 to take the mower in for servicing. He didn’t and didn’t service it at all last year. I asked him again after the first snowfall if he was going to take it in. Finally, the third lawn cut of the season showed that the grass was being ripped by the mower instead of cut nicely. He took it in. Grrrr.)

Plus, we have previous owners of our house (we’ve lived here for two years and four days now) did nothing to the landscaping. They didn’t trim, they didn’t weed, they didn’t mulch, they didn’t stop the volunteer trees. Inside had a lot of halfway done things, but outside was bad.

The first summer we were here, we trimmed back everything hugely in the vain idea that this would solve the problem and keep us looking ok. We realized that fall that things were growing faster than we could trim.

Last spring, I called a couple of landscaping companies to get a landscape design and some quotes. Apparently business was really good last year, as only two called me back. I had one come out and create a plan for us and give us a quote. They drew up lovely blueprints that mostly listened to what I had to say (other than ignoring my disdain for prairie grass). By the time they got out and drew up plans and reviewed them with me, it was already mid-June.

For the front quarter of our house, they gave me a price. I requested a price for the other three sides of my house, but I never heard from the guy again. Apparently my jaw dropping to the floor when he told me the front alone was going to be over $11,000 (yes, that’s eleven thousand dollars – American dollars, at that) alerted him to the fact that I wasn’t really going to use their services so he decided to ignore me.

Seriously, $11K. For one quarter of my house. I was afraid to see what they wanted for the rest of the house – where there were more plants, but I was afraid to ask. I never heard from them again, and I never did get that quote. Needless to say, landscaping didn’t happen last June after I got that design.

Last summer, I started working hard out there though. I decided that maybe it was possible to save the landscaping. I pulled out the 18’x18’ patch that had once been a swingset area (according to neighbors) and when we bought the house had housed the trampoline that they had owned. Needless to say, it was filled with weeds and old mulch and yuck. I’m proud to say that I pulled out every weed by hand and fully resodded it. And the sod took beautifully.

I also weeded every bit of the landscaping and cut back all the bushes so they weren’t so horribly overgrown and nasty. That way, I could also see the weeds to try to pull them out. I also began to pull out the yucky white rocks that had been put in 15 years ago for apparently decorative purposes. The huge pile that began appearing next to the garage was my first clue that my strategy wasn’t going to be successful.

At this point, I knew we were the eyesore of the neighborhood and people had to be talking about us.



I talked to another landscaping company who was willing to install the design we’d had created. However, I also realized that I wanted to try to save some of the tulip and daffodil bulbs that the previous owners had planted. We did put in a new brick paver sidewalk and stoop late last summer, but I had to wait until I could find the bulbs after they bloomed and then died back this spring before I could redo the landscaping.

Finally, I got a quote from the landscaper, I got quotes from two different nurseries – which took three weeks, much to my frustration – and had a time for my landscaper to show up. They were coming this Wednesday, and it would take them four to five days to finish the job. Yeah!

So Tuesday morning, I had just gotten out of the shower when I heard a diesel engine. It was way too early for Mister Man’s bus, so I peeked out between the blinds. Huh. It was the landscapers’ truck. They came a day early. I wasn’t about to tell them to go away, so thank God for the schoolteacher who was home and could deal with the landscapers while I finished getting ready.

Last night, the plants were placed in their positions, and I was able to move them around to my liking after I got home from my conference. Yep, using the moonlight to move plants and try to read blueprints was a trick. But I succeeded in getting them all arranged before I drove off at 7am this morning to get back to my conference.

And when I got home tonight? This is the sight that awaited me:



Seriously, three days to do ALL that work. These guys are fantastic. They pulled out all the old landscaping. They removed all the “decorative” rock. They removed the roots of the trees and shrubs. They edged. They widened the sidewalk and built two retaining walls. They dug out the clayey soil and replaced the topsoil. They picked up all my plants. They planted them, mulched them and watered them. Then they cleaned everything up. I mean there was not a stray water bottle top in sight. And the cost for the whole thing was thousands less than the quote for the front quarter of my yard. Anyone need a recommendation for landscapers? These guys ROCK!

Now when the neighbors slow down to stare at our house – which they have been doing the past few days – it’s for a good reason, not because they’re trying to figure out what’s wrong with the morons in the neighborhood who have the worst landscaping they’ve ever seen.

So even though the Fox River is starting to flood. And even though we were deluged last weekend, I’m praying for rain tonight! Two to three inches are predicted, but I don’t trust the weathermen!