Good-Bye Family Dinners

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I am a firm believer in the importance of family dinners, and I know that there is a ton of research out there showing how much impact that has on children's development and their character as they grow older.

For me, a family dinner isn't just all sitting down together. I ban any reading materials at the table (a habit to which my husband still periodically reverts). There is no tv on (ok, so we don't have the tv on at all when the wee ones are awake). We have conversations on whatever strikes out mood, and sometimes they're admittedly pretty silly.

Beyond that, we stay sitting at the table until everyone is done. Just because you finished eating doesn't mean that everyone is done. I think it's rude to get up and put your dishes away or start working on chores when the rest of us are still eating (uhhh yeah, you caught me; I'm a slow eater). The family dinner to me isn't just about the food, but it's about the respect and the company and the time together.

I've drummed this into the head of everyone in my family, and it sticks there most of the time (my husband still wants to go do stuff once he finishes eating). To date, we've been pretty successful at the family dinners. There are certainly times when my husband is working way past the dinner hour, and it's just the wee ones and I. And there are nights when I have other commitments and am not home to eat with the wee ones, and I hope my husband sits and enjoys the time with them, too.

Last night was our first night of having this domestic bliss spoiled.

Little Miss had gymnastics from 5:15-6:15, so she was gone from the house from before 5 until after 6:30. Mister Man had his first Cub Scout meeting (anyone need Christmas wreaths?) from 6:30-8 so was gone from 6 to 8:30. Their dinners for the first time ever did not overlap.

It was bittersweet for me, a real moment that showed just how quickly the wee ones are growing up. I had to create two separate dinner times for the wee ones.

Luckily, my dad was taking Little Miss to gymnastics, so I could organize things. I had two dinners last night. I ate a mini bowl of ravioli with Mister Man and my husband at 5:30. At 6:30, I ate a second mini-bowl of ravioli with Little Miss while my dad watched (he had ordered takeout pizza for himself so decided not to eat with us).

As much as I loved spending the time one on one with the wee ones, it broke my heart to realize that this is merely the first night of many. Soon the wee ones will be going hither and yon on a regular basis where a quick dinner in the car while hoping to get one to a practice or game on time while trying to race to pick the other up from a different practice or game. Someday, the family dinner will be more of the exception than the norm, and I will mourn these days.

At the same time, I wouldn't hold back the wee ones and their development for anything. I love that they're growing up and becoming more independent. I love that they're discovering passions that will define them for years to come.

As much as I'd like to, I can't buckle them into booster seats and hold them at the table forever. After all, I'd bet they already don't even fit in those old seats. I'm not giving up on family dinners though. Every night we're together, the same rules will apply. I just hope we have more nights than not that we are together.

Welllll until they head off to college. I suppose family dinners then would get a little awkward.

Mommy's Little Helper

Wow, I was looking back at my recent posts, and I’ve been in quite the crabby mood lately. Sorry for whining so much! Usually I’m more positive. I’ll have to assume it’s the never-ending winter, but that’s a bad excuse.

Anyway, today is a happier (and shorter!) day.

My kids generally eat fairly healthy foods. They’re little kids though, so there are definitely exceptions to this. But some of the things they eat and enjoy surprise me – salmon, edamame, miso-glazed chicken, mango pudding, beef stroganoff. I’ll toss it all at them and let them decide.

It’s sort of fun to watch them insist there’s no way they’re eating something. I inevitably remind them of our rule that they have to taste something – and no, tasting doesn’t mean putting your tongue in the general vicinity of said item and the insisting you don’t like it. You actually have to take a bite, chew and swallow. The swallowing part is key. Needless to say, I always ensure they have a glass of something to drink in case they don’t like it. And well better than 50% of the time, they decide they like it.

They also enjoy cooking and baking with me – at least until their attention wanders elsewhere. Whenever I’m at the island, Little Miss insists on dragging a stool over and climbing up to observe or – better yet – help me.

This morning, I had to make some more granola. Yeah I know, I make my own granola. It’s what I eat for breakfast most mornings with a bit of yogurt atop it. Yum!

Once we got Mister Man on the bus, we headed inside, and she climbed onto her designated stool. She helped me dump in the four cups of oats. Then she proceeded to pick them up a few at a time and eat them. “Mmmm, oatmeal!” Well, actually they’re oats, Sweetie. “No, OATMEAL! It’s oatmeal, Mommy.” I tried to explain the difference, but to no avail. But let’s back up a moment – she’s picking up dry oats and eating them. And likes them. What kind of a kid does that? Oh yeah, one who decides she likes baking soda.

Then we add the wheat germ. She doesn’t think she likes that one. Coconut is next. By now, I’m catching on, and I decide to add a little extra. Smart Mommy. She ate probably a quarter of the coconut I put in there. Apparently, she also likes coconut. In go the pine nuts. Yup, she apparently likes them, too. As I add the cinnamon, she starts dipping the pine nuts into the cinnamon. Granted, I’m combining the flavors in my granola, but dipping pine nuts into cinnamon wouldn’t be my first choice of a snack. Nutmeg? Same thing.

Of course we have to smell all the yummy ingredients. She now prefers to hold the jars and baggies herself. “No help, Mommy. I can do it myself!” So far, so good – knock on wood. We’ve yet to have a cinnamon-scented floor because the spilled something everywhere.

Well, sort of. As I was getting the olive oil and honey together, she decided she wanted to stir the dry ingredients by herself, just like Mommy did. Yeah, we had a little spray of stuff go all over the island. And the assorted items that somehow seem magnetically and irresistibly drawn there – the books, children’s museum membership card, children’s artwork, etc. Whoops. Fortunately, her stirring was fairly shallow, so only a bit of the ingredients went flying.

Smart girl knows that there are some things she can’t do. The last step is adding chopped dried cherries after the granola has baked. She pulled her stool back up to help me. Then she saw the knife. “This is adult work, Mommy. I’m just going to watch.” She paused for a moment, and then, “But, Mommy, I want some cherries, too.”