BlogHer Book Club: Reflected In You

If you haven't figured this out by now, I love to read.  I love reading books I wouldn't normally pick up, partly because I've exhausted my favorite writers.  And their favorite writers.  Reflected in You by Sylvia Day is probably not one of the books I would have picked up on my own, even though it is currently the #1 New York Times bestseller.

Reflected in You is the second novel in the Crossfire series, featuring Gideon Cross - another mid-twenties billionaire who owns companies with a twisted past - and Eva Tramell, who has recently graduated college and is working her first job in Manhattan - and of course she comes with a twisted past of her own.  Sound somewhat familiar?

It actually has its own nuances and is a different story from the 50 Shades books, though there it falls into the same erotic genre - sans naughty play - with the disparity in power of the relationship.  Eva, however, comes from money on her mother's side and has a best friend she lives with in her spacious apartment, paid for by her stepfather.  I had similar queasy stomach issues reading this book and seeing the decisions that the characters would make as I have in reading similar novels.

That said, I'm awaiting the next Crossfire novel (and I'm slightly ashamed to admit that).  I did read the first novel in the series, Bared to You, prior to reading Reflected in You, but the book has enough backstory that you can read the second novel without having read the first.  The first does provide much of the detail that helps the second flow more smoothly, however.

I have never been in a relationship that started with all-consuming passion from the first moment, where there is a question of where the line between obsession and caring needs to be drawn.  And I have certainly never been in a relationship with such a power discrepancy, nor where the passion/obsession has been maintained at such a high level for so long.

It worries me a little to think that young adults might view this as a typical or expected relationship, when there is so much about it that is unhealthy - both individually amongst the characters and with their relationships.  That was hard to close my mind to as I was reading because I worry about the wee ones as they grow older and develop their own relationships, not just romantically but with friends.  And all those relationships are pretty messed up, too, in this book.

And fortunately, this book is more about the relationships amongst the characters and less about the raw carnality, which makes it a much easier read for me.  I'll admit that I get bored when there is more intercourse than story.  And Reflected in You certainly has plenty of story, disturbing as much of it is.

Have you read either of the Crossfire novels?  Do you plan to?  Regardless, jump in with the BlogHer Book Club discussion.  This week, we're talking about how we recharge when life is too overwhelming.  I certainly can't afford to jet off to Vegas or have a spa come to my home for a day of pampering, but I find my ways.  Share with us what you do!

In the interest of full disclosure, I received a copy of the Crossfire novels for review purposes.  I am also compensated for participating in this campaign. That said, all opinions remain my own.

BHBC: Diary of a Submissive

I enjoy book clubs because they expose me to books I might not pick up on my own.  I love working book fairs at the wee ones' schools for the same reason - and we found some neat books for Mister Man today that we might not otherwise have discovered.  So Diary of a Submissive: A Modern Tale of True Sexual Awakening is admittedly something a little different from what I normally read - though yes, I like everyone else I know read the 50 Shades books.

This isn't 50 Shades.  This is a memoir written by "Sophie Morgan" - which is a probably very necessary pseudonym.  She tells her story starting back in her childhood through ... now.  The book shares when she had her first spanking, and examines her changing desires as she discovers more about who she is and what she likes.  And as she's changing, the book continues right with her, becoming very graphic and detailed.

This isn't a "how to" manual, but a look into a lifestyle that isn't anywhere near what was portrayed in the 50 Shades trilogy.  Some of it made me twitchy because I was uncomfortable and would never have made the choices she did - and knowing that this is a memoir and not fiction makes me all the more twitchy.

You would expect that Sophie were someone who suffered in her life somewhere and had a whole that needed filling, but from everything you can see, Sophie is the epitome of success.  She is a journalist and has good relationships with friends and family.  And yet she finds that traditional relationships just don't do it for her and she explores her urges - and those encounters with Tom and Charlotte, with James, and more.  And we see all the details of her exploration in painful (and sometimes repetitive) detail.

The book was hard to read because it was so hard for me to watch what Sophie did to herself, as she seemed to simultaneously need it and hate it.  Closed doors are closed doors, but I hate to see such disparity in power.  This is no fairytale, but it's definitely a unique look into a world far from that in which I live.

We'll be discussing this book all month long as part of BlogHer's book club. Come join our discussion of Diary of a Submissive.

In the interest of full disclosure, this is a book review as part of the BlogHer Book Club.  I was compensated for writing this post, but all opinions remain my own.

BlogHer Book Club: Daring Greatly

I heard Brene Brown speak a couple years ago at a blog conference.  She stuck with me - and not just because she has such a unique name.  She had a commanding presence, and she has a powerful viewpoint, one that continued in her just-released book Daring Greatly.

We spend so much of our lives trying to proves to others and to ourselves that we can do it all, that we can be everything, that we are strong.  And we aren't, always.  Nor should we be, which is the main point of her book.  Daring Greatly dares us to embrace our vulnerability, to admit where we aren't as strong as the face we put to the world.

Using 12 years of research, Dr. Brown makes the case that our vulnerability is actually what makes us strong - when we acknowledge it.  Vulnerability is what allows us to live our lives, from experiencing the deepest pain to soaring with the highest joy and everywhere in between.  Without allowing vulnerability in our lives, we aren't really living our lives as fully as we ought.

This is a powerful book.  It isn't really a self-help book, but it's visionary.  The book is footnoted throughout with Dr. Brown's and other research, but she also puts her own self and life across the chapters, giving us examples of exactly what she's talking about and making it that much more real.

Life isn't a guarantee, much as we want one.  In this book, Dr. Brown encourages us to go with the lack of guarantee and take on that feeling of vulnerability to live more fully and - ideally - more happily.  I dare you to do it.

Brene Brown is also doing a book tour this fall.  If you can, don't miss the opportunity to see her in person. It's worth it!  Want to keep the conversation going?  On BlogHer, we're talking about her book for the next month.  This week, we're talking about vulnerability hangovers.  Have you ever had one?  Do you even know what that is?

In the interest of full disclosure, this was part of a compensated campaign as part of the BlogHer Book Club.  That said, all opinions remain my own.

BlogHer Book Review: The Care And Handling Of Roses With Thorns

In the majority of cases, I aspire to be the protagonist of the books I read.  The protagonist inevitably has some flaws, but the flaws make them human.  In the case of The Care and Handling of Roses with Thorns by Margaret Dilloway, the main character Galilee Garner is deeply flawed, and I should have wanted nothing to do with her.  She had health issues and lacked social graces.  She was on the outs with her principal, holding onto her teaching job at a private school by a thread, because she refused to kow tow to parents who believed she was too tough.  There wasn't much to love or to root for.

All Gal wanted from life was to breed a prize winning rose that would be developed commercially.  She, a mere hobbyist in her backyard, had to goal to create a rose perfect enough to garner attention at rose shows that it would become something sold in garden centers across the world.  Of course it wasn't so simple as a fairy tale, not when her sister dumped a very unhappy niece on her while the sister worked a new job in Asia.

Finally, Gal has to climb out of her non-living life and figure out how to parent and start giving of herself, beyond even just her niece.  The book was an enjoyable read, and I've been waiting to write about this one for almost a month now.  I have to admit I enjoyed it far better than I did Margaret Dilloway's previous book, How to Be an American Housewife.

Have you read it?  Whether you have or not, join in the conversation at BlogHer, where this week's question asks how you feel about roses - do you like receiving them?  Do you grow them?

In the interest of full disclosure, I received a copy of the book "The Care and Handling of Roses with Thorns" for review purposes.  I was also compensated as part of this campaign, but all opinions remain my own.

BlogHer Book Club: Where She Went

I'm loving this time of year.  It's spring, and the gala at Mister Man's school is finally starting to wind down (it happens on Saturday, so my role of tracking donations and writing descriptions for the brochure is near an end) so I have been spending some time sitting outside reading.  It's awesome, and I love the most recent book I finished, Where She Went by Gayle Forman.  It is the sequel to her novel If I Stay, though it isn't necessary to have read that first.  I haven't read it - yet - and had no issues jumping into the story.  As much as I loved Where She Went, though, I might suggest getting both books and reading them in order.

Where She Went is about Mia and Adam and how they've reconnected via a one night stay Adam has in New York when he - the rock star about to leave for a European tour - goes to see Mia perform a cello concert at Carnegie Hall where he goes backstage to meet her again.

They were once very close, as they grew up together in Oregon and both were music whizzes there.  Unfortunately, there was a horrible car accident that killed Mia's parents and brother, leaving her in a coma.  By the time she's recovered, he made a promise to give her up and she heads to Julliard on a scholarship.  The book deals with them working their way through the minefield that is their previous relationship and asking all the questions they never did in high school.  And then, of course... there's figuring out if they have a future.

This is a beautifully written story that drew me in.  I didn't want to put the book down, which is always the sign of a good book to me.  The characters are well-developed, although Adam and his rock star attitude kept him from being a favorite of mine.  I don't have to like all the characters to like a book, and this is one I definitely enjoyed.

We'll be discussing this book over at the BlogHer Book Club over the next few weeks.  Come join us.  This week's topic is on your brain and music.  Come join us!

In the interest of full disclosure, I received a copy of "Where She Went" for review purposes.  I was also compensated for participating in this campaign.  However, all opinions remain my own.

BlogHer Book Club: The Book of Jonas

I have a friend who left two days ago to go volunteer at an orphanage - with her neurosurgeon husband - in Ethiopia for two weeks. Again. And they'll go back again, and one day, they'll bring home a baby from there. To me, that is so foreign to my daily life, but yet I have connections there from my friends both now and growing up, as adopting from South Korea was very "popular" where I grew up in Minnesota.

When I had the chance to read The Book of Jonas for this month's BlogHer book club, I jumped at the chance, as it's a view inside the head of a (fictional) young man from an unnamed Middle East country whose village was bombed by US troops. Again, it's something that is so foreign to me, but yet something I want and need to relate to and understand on a human level.

Jonas survived the bombing, but his family perished. He miraculously makes it to a US hospital where he then is sent to the States to live as a refugee. He comes into contact with Rose, the mother of a soldier who is MIA after serving in that same country. The stories of Rose, Christopher, and Jonas are all woven together as Jonas tries to move past the events that killed his family but instead moves down a self-destructive spiral.

The book was so thought-provoking, which was just what I had hoped. The chapters were startlingly short, just one to pages for the most part, but in a way they had to be, given the story being told. In the end, it was a tragedy for all involved - just as so much of life is. The bare bones verbiage tells the story powerfully, although I think it could have done so just as powerfully without interjecting Rose into it. I felt that the author needed a female character and so put her in, but I think I might have enjoyed the book even more had it simply focused on Jonas and - through his diary that Jonas has - Christopher.

The book deals heavily with loss, and that is the topic this week in the BlogHer book club discussion of The Book of Jonas. When faced with tragedy, what is your reaction? Do you hide from it, do you seek atonement, do you search for the truth, or do you have another reaction entirely?

In the interest of full disclosure, I received a copy of "The Book of Jonas" by Stephen Dau for review purposes. This is part of a compensated campaign for the BlogHer Book Club, but all opinions remain my own.

BlogHer Book Club: Lost and Found

I come from a financial background. My parents both have accounting degrees, and I worked for a bank for almost a decade. I taught Junior Achievement. I like to think that I'm fairly financially savvy, but I snow there is so much more I could be doing. Sometimes, I like to stick my head in the sand. While I pay off my credit cards every single month, I haven't yet deposited my 2011 Roth IRA contribution because... well, I don't have a good reason.

I'm pulling my head out of the sand a little bit more, and driving that check over to my financial institution is on the docket for today now. I finished reading Lost and Found by Geneen Roth, which is the current BlogHer Book Club book, in which Geneen tells stories of how she lost all her money in the Bernie Madoff collapse and how she coped and found "life" afterwards.

How often do you hear people talk openly about money, let alone honestly about the disasters they've faced with it? Or even think about why we want and need the money we think we do? It doesn't happen nearly often enough, and I firmly believe that more of it would help empower all of us to take charge of our money and prevent it from having as much mystical power over us as it does today. After she lost her money, Geneen freed herself from the habits and patterns she'd fallen into and created a new and far more fulfilling life for her, focusing not on what she doesn't have but instead on what she does.

We're all so often guilty of that - focusing on what we think we want and focusing on the "more" that we don't have - and we rarely question why we want it or if having it will truly make us happy. The book is full of little stories and pearls of wisdom that caused me to reflect on my attitude towards money and why I have the attitudes I do. It isn't preachy in any way, which I appreciate. It is simple, open, and honest.

While I would never wish the loss of their life savings on anyone, it was fascinating to me to see how one can rebuild from that and the - in a way - positive impacts the loss of that money did have on Geneen Roth. We talk about wanting to find balance in our lives, but how many of us have truly thought about the cost that every extra hour we put into getting ahead costs us in terms of stress and time with family and enjoyment of the moment? This week's discussion at BlogHer Book Club deals with just that. Whether you've read the book or not, come join us and share your thoughts.

In the interest of full disclosure, I received a copy of "Lost and Found" by Geneen Roth for review purposes. This is also a compensated campaign as part of the BlogHer Book Club, but all opinions remain my own.

BlogHer Book Club: The Fault In Our Stars

I love connecting with the characters in books. I've always been a huge reader, and yes, I've been known to cry more than once when reading. The Fault In Our Stars had me going through more than one Kleenex. You'd expect that from a book that details the life of a teenager with terminal cancer.

This book though? It's not a cancer book. It's not a sad, depressing, cry through your coffee kind of book. Hazel may be dying, but the book isn't about death. It's about living and finding delight in the moments for a girl who lives with an oxygen tank and has just her parents for company. When she meets Augustus Waters at the Cancer Kid Support Group, she finds another similar soul and connects with him.

The Fault In Our Stars is written by John Green and is billed as Young Adult Fiction, both of which are factors that ordinarily would have my shy away from reading the book. For some reason, I tend to prefer the writing of women, as I can connect with their characters more. John Green does a fantastic job making the characters and their situations real, and the dialogue is incredible and moving without being trite. I also wouldn't necessarily characterize this as a Young Adult book either. While it contains teenage main characters with Hazel and Gus, it is so much more, and the issues they face are not light fluffy topics that I associate with Young Adult Fiction.

So go. Read The Fault In Our Stars. And be prepared with some Kleenex, but know that there is so much more to this book than just that.

As always, the BlogHer Book Club will be having great discussions about this book for the next several weeks. This week, we're chatting about our favorite books, as Hazel's favorite book plays a role in this book - a very interesting parallel. Come join our book discussion!

In the interest of full disclosure, I received a copy of "The Fault In Our Stars" by John Green for review purposes only. This was a compensated review, but all opinions remain my own.

BlogHer Book Club Review: The Rules Of Inheritance

When I picked up the book Rules of Inheritance, I knew that it was going to be a heavy one, focused on author Claire Bidwell Smith's journey to and through her parents' deaths. I was expecting to cry - and I did at points - but I was also expecting to feel a certain level of distance from it. I haven't experienced the loss of either of my parents, thankfully, and this isn't the first time I've read a book by a blogger turned author. Rarely do bloggers translate well to book format, even when it's an enjoyable blog, in my experience.

This one actually worked well. It wasn't a compilation of her blog writing, walking us through the story one day and month at a time. That is the story we're used to hearing, but Claire Bidwell Smith uses a different tack altogether, one that makes her story far more unique and more powerful. Her story is broken into five stages of grief and walks through her experience. It isn't written chronologically, but her grief and pain are etched painfully on the pages as she shares her parents' diagnoses and subsequent deaths and her handling - or not handling - of them, sometimes in not the healthiest of ways.

As she moves into acceptance, you can really see how these events have shaped her as a person. It's how the events - from her helping her father track his WWII background to moving to NYC with a boyfriend - have turned her into the person she is today. Her grief isn't over, nor will it probably ever be. The novel moves powerfully through this.

Over at BlogHer Book Club, we'll be talking about this book for the next several weeks. Whether you've read the book or not, come join the conversation. This week, we're discussing the events in our lives that have defined us. What have been your defining moments?

In the interest of full disclosure, I received a copy of "The Rules of Inheritance" as part of the BlogHer Book Club. I was compensated for participating in this campaign, but as always, all opinions remain my own.

BlogHer Book Club: The Underside of Joy

There are some books I love but still have a tiny part of myself that regrets reading it. The January BlogHer Book Club book The Underside of Joy by Sere Prince Halverson is one of those. It was a beautifully written book that absolutely pulls you in to a heartbreaking story. I wasn't even at the end of the book when I had tears rolling down my cheeks and the sniffles coming faster and faster.

I regret reading it only for the thinking it made me do about my own life. As Ella loses her husband Joe to a freak accident, she has to put her life back together. There is so much that she doesn't know about their life together - financial and otherwise - and they haven't done much of the preparation that any couple really should. Let me just put this out there: neither have I. And that's scary to me because I know I need to get my act together, but I feel like I'm courting fate if I do. Stupid, right?

The book explores the tragedy of Ella's new life, where her two step-children also have to face the future, in many ways uncertain for them just as it is for Ella. The writing evokes strong emotions, as they so clearly show the pain and the fear and confusion all the characters exhibit. And I won't say any more to avoid ruining the book for you - because I do recommend you read it. It was a good one, though admittedly not the type of book I usually pick up. This is why I love book clubs!

Come join the discussion over at the BlogHer Book Club, whether you've read it or not. There promise to be some great thought-provoking conversations.

In the interest of full disclosure, I received an advance copy of "The Underside of Joy" for review purposes. I was also compensated for my participation in this campaign. That said, all opinions remain my own.

BlogHer Book Club Review: Why Women Need Fat

It's the new year, and everyone's making resolutions, including many about losing weight or getting more fit. There are tons of diet and exercise books out there, some that I find downright scary and others that fascinate me. Why Women Need Fat: How "Healthy" Food Makes Us Gain Excess Weight and the Surprising Solution to Losing It Forever by William D. Lassek, M.D. and Steven J.C. Gaulin, Ph.D. falls into the fascinating category.

I am someone who believes in real food. We don't eat high fructose corn syrup around here, and I do my best to minimize processed foods. Tonight's dinner, for example was honey glazed chicken served over cous cous. It had six total ingredients, the most processed being soy sauce. When I cook, I'd much rather taste my food and have it be what I consider to be real food, which means that I'm not eating Splenda or margarine either. After reading this, I'm grateful for some of the formative years I spent in Europe that perhaps led me to eat this way (shhh, most of the time!).

The BlogHer Book Club book Why Women Need Fat validates this approach for me. That isn't to say that I'm anywhere near the weight I'd like to be or that I'm perfect, but it discusses intelligently why it is that we need to eat the real foods and why substituting low fat foods is counteracting the very thing we're trying to do. That and it talks about how we need to figure out what our weight should be and not just dream of a completely unreasonable six foot, eighty-five pound frame that fits dreamily into a size zero dress.

The first two sections of the book run to the statistical and are fairly evidence based. As someone who is somewhat of a stats and analytical geek, this appealed to me, and I really enjoyed reading some of the hows and whys behind the findings. It was right up my alley, but I know that isn't the case for everyone. The third section was the one that I'm guessing most people will gravitate to, as it's the one that talks about what we need to think about without laying down the law of each six cups of this, four cups of that and so on. It focuses on us educating ourselves and taking charge of our lives and being realistic about doing so.

So no, we can't and won't all be thin. Not all our bodies can be that way, but that's ok. We still need to take care of the bodies we have, and it's critical that we eat real food instead of the chemically altered ingredients designed to resemble food. What do you think about what and how Americans eat? Join in the BlogHer Book Club discussion.

In the interest of full disclosure, I am participating in the BlogHer Book Club, which is a compensated review program. I also received a copy of book to facilitate the review. As always, the opinions expressed remain my own.

BlogHer Book Club Review: The Magic Room

I'm always excited to receive new books, especially books that haven't been published yet, and I was especially anxious to read Jeffrey Zaslow's The Magic Room, remembering the joy I took in finding my own wedding dress many years ago (ahem, not too many, though). Though the book was sweet and relatively enjoyable, it didn't provide the magic for me that I was hoping it would.

The book is set up to have each chapter essentially standing on its own, focusing on the Becker's Bridal in Fowler, Michigan. Jeffrey Zaslow visited the salon dozens of times and focused on telling the stories of six women choosing their dresses from Becker's. The stories aren't simply of the trying on of dresses but of how the women got to the point they're at. Between each chapter of a woman's story, backstory of Becker's which has been at its location since 1934. After each woman's story is told, the later chapters further the stories of each woman, but for me, they weren't sufficiently differentiated enough for me to recall which woman was which, so I had to do a lot of flipping back and forth to keep things straight. I wish the stories had been compelling enough that I wouldn't have had an issue remembering who was who.

I was fascinated simply by the history of Becker's, which has remained in the family for four generations now. I would have been content simply hearing about that history instead of sharing the spotlight with the women, some of whom I frankly didn't like. It made the book fairly disjointed for me, but on the plus side, it also meant I could pick it up and put it down fairly easily since each chapter was so self-contained - and relatively short.

This probably isn't a book I would pick up to read on my own, but it isn't my style in the end. And were I to read this not a part of the BlogHer Book Club, I think I probably would have skipped the chapters on Danielle and Heather and the like and instead focused on Becker's - from the back office manager who essentially becomes the character of Franck to make brides more comfortable to how the store transitioned ownership from Shelley's parents to her, which was not a planned, smooth transition.

Not surprisingly, there are tons of things to discuss about the book, whether you've read it or not. Join us at the BlogHer Book Club discussion where this week we're talking about our own experiences of visiting the "magic room" and choosing our wedding dresses. What was yours like?

In the interest of full disclosure, I received a copy of "The Magic Room" by Jeffrey Zaslow for review purposes. I was also compensated for participating in this campaign, although all opinions remain - as always - my own.

BlogHer Book Club: Sea Change

When I read a book I love, I tell everyone about it and I expect that everyone will love it because well, duh, it's awesome. And when there's a book I don't like? Generally it falls into one of two categories. It's either something that I recognize as something that just isn't for me or - rarely - I label it as drivel. Sea Change by Jeremy Page falls into the "just not for me" category.

The book is based on the life of Guy who has a wife and younger daughter Freya. He is currently living on an old boat in the North Sea and has been for the past five years. The narrative of the book, however, starts with a family outing when Freya was four years old, a gorgeously written chapter that shows such insight into the family and their interactions with each other. I could feel the tension rising as the chapter continued and read on with great expectation.

The remainder of the book proved to be a disappointment to me, however. And I do recognize that this is a me issue - that the style just isn't for me. The narrative meanders between Guy's current life on his boat where he keeps a journal detailing the life and history of his family, but hte life and history as Guy wishes it had been. It's work to figure out what in his journals actually happened and what Guy imagines has happened. I know it's lazy, but I don't want to work when I read fiction.

Books that appeal to me are plot driven, though not the ones that follow a formula. They have richly developed characters with depth that isn't always immediately apparent. And while I love descriptions that really put me in the place of the book and take me away from my everyday, I lose interest after a few pages when they're too dense with detail. That was some of the issue with Sea Change for me - so much of it was internal and reminiscing rather than developing a story for me. For you? Maybe a great book, but unfortunately with Sea Change it was a good thing I had a long lead time to read it because it was a slow go.

Whether you've read it or not, come join in the book club discussion at BlogHer!

In the interest of full disclosure, I received a copy of "Sea Change" by Jeremy Page as part of the BlogHer Book Club review program. I was compensated as part of this campaign, but all opinions remain my own. Obviously.

Win a Big G prize pack with Justice League comics, cereal, and a Green Lantern action figure

BlogHer Book Club: Theodora

I first picked up Theodora: Actress, Empress, Whore by Stella Duffy almost two weeks ago. The book is only 336 pages, but it took me until this morning to finish the book - not because I didn't like the book or because it was boring but because it was so chock full of information and emotion and pain that I could read it in only small doses. That's very unusual for me, as I generally devour books.

Theodora: Actress, Empress, Whore follows the life from Theodora - who was an actual historical figure - from the time she is a small girl the the daughter of the chief animal trainer in ancient Constantinople through her training for the theater to adulthood as a celebrated entertainer then governor's mistress and finally reformed woman who marries the eventual emperor. The theater life is far more brutal and raw than anything I would have expected, but still nothing that should have shocked me. The rules and laws in place at the time were harsh and rigid, and both child labor and child prostitution were common.

When I began reading the book, I knew it was a novel. As I continued to read, I realized how much of it was based in truth. Theodora was a historical figure, though obviously her story was somewhat fictionalized for this book considering how little was truly known of her real story. The book shows so much of what could have happened and shares so much of life in the ancient Empire. I learned a ton from the book, as challenging as it was for me to read.

Join in the discussion about Theodora: Empress, Actress, Whore with BlogHer Book Club.

In the interest of full disclosure, I received a copy of "Theodora: Actress, Empress, Whore" for review purposes only. I was compensated for participating in the BlogHer Book Club, but as always, my opinions are my own.

Win one of 3 sets of 25 holiday cards from Shutterfly
Win a $100 gift certificate to Red Envelope

BlogHer Book Club: How To Be An American Housewife

I am always fascinated by other cultures and how they think and work - and how they interpret our own confusing culture, as well. Rarely are we able to see both sides of that view, but How to Be an American Housewife by Margaret Dilloway allows us to see Shoko's point of view from the time she was a young girl in Japan defying - carefully - her parents all the way through her old age where she longs to go to Japan for the first time since she married her Navy serviceman husband shortly after World War 2.

I am fascinated by the varying views Japanese had of the Americans after the war, from those like Shoko and her father who were ready to move forward with the new reality to her brother Taro who hates all Americans and will never give up. There is also great perspective on Japanese culture from the Eta, or untouchable, caste to working in a large hotel catering to Americans.

Shoko hasn't always had control over her life, and she certainly doesn't over her failing health, but she is a realist and finds the best way for her to move forward. That doesn't mean she doesn't fight for what she believes in, as shown when she refuses to let an American serviceman make her his mistress when she first moves on her own. She has her morals and standards, many of which caused her regret the outcomes as in her relationship with her children, though who among us get that one right?

The scariest thing to me is the excerpts from "How to Be an American Housewife" - a guidebook with advice on how to become an indispensable wife in America, as well as sharing how to deal with some of the culture shock. The advice shared there was often wrong-headed in my view, although fortunately Shoko seemed to recognize that, as well. I know that much of what the book preached was required by many of the men who married Japanese women, if they even brought them back from Japan. The treatment by many of the Americans was deplorable, but there are still those who triumphed over it and found ways to be happy.

From a rebellious daughter to a grandmother wishing she had raised her children differently, Shoko is an intriguing figure who draws us into her life as she muses over where she's been while dealing with her current situation. How would you have handled being married to someone from a foreign culture then being transplanted with no support?

Weigh in here, and join in the discussions on How to Be an American Housewife with BlogHer Book Club.

Win a Purse Perfector purse organizer - trust me, you won't know what you did without it
Win a Big G prize pack - cereal and a $25 gift card
Think Pink this October and share your story of how breast cancer touched you; learn more and enter a Think Pink giveaway

In the interest of full disclosure, I received a copy of "How to Be an American Housewife" for review purposes. I am also compensated as part of this campaign, but as always, all opinions expressed are my own - just check out some of my not so positive book reviews for proof of that!

BlogHer Book Club: Lunch Wars

Apparently this is the week of books. It's coincidence that I've had two days of BlogHer Book Club books come up, but it's kind of neat, too. There is a new format to the BlogHer Book Club to some degree, where it isn't always reviews on the site but rather reviews on our own blogs and then much larger - and very interesting discussions - on the BlogHer site. I'm really interested to see the discussions on our current book Lunch Wars by Amy Kalafa.

Personally, I was really excited to read the book. I care a lot about food and what I and the wee ones are ingesting. (I've given up on my husband when he isn't at home!) We do a lot of organics, and I cook from scratch as much as possible. On top of that, we avoid a lot of foods - anything "fake" including sweeteners and dyes and corn syrup in all its form, among others. Not surprisingly, that means that I pack a lunch for the wee one every day. They get a "main course" that is frequently leftover from dinner the night before or a sandwich, a fresh fruit and a fresh or frozen vegetable.

I was really looking forward to what Amy had to say about school lunches and how to improve them. I'm not sure what I was expecting exactly, maybe more of an expose on the lunch program and how much its failing. Instead, she focuses on what we as parents can do. While there is some data on how wrong most school lunch programs are (and no, we don't ever buy them). There is information on how overly processed they are and how they aren't serving the needs of our children. I love some of the quotes from the USDA about how obesity is now the problem the school lunch program is facing and not malnourishment, which is what it was when the program was first developed. The history that Amy weaves into the book to truly get a realistic understanding of the politics behind it and the history of the program provide a great base to do something.

The book is essentially a how to manual. How to go about changing the school lunches in your schools to make them healthier for our children, while ensuring they're something that they will still eat and enjoy. There is some great discussion around the challenges facing the school lunch program - did you know the average program has less than $1 to spend on the students' lunch after taking into account other costs? No wonder so much of it is prepackaged over processed crap that meets the letter of the law with regards to requirements but definitely not the spirit.

Amy has a step by step guide with real life stories and plenty of encouragement to make a difference in your community from how to build the coalition to how to approach the leaders in your communities and more. It was impressive to see so much useful information in one place, but I know I don't personally have any more energy to go change the lunch program in our district - partly when we don't participate in it anyway (it's $4.25 per lunch for my son!) and partly because I'm volunteering so much elsewhere and partly because I'm focused on getting Mister Man to his therapies (including during school time) and to their after school activities. I just don't have the bandwidth to take anything more on, but I would absolutely love to see this take root in my community.

This book gives me hope that it can be done. I am planning to write a note in the front of my book: I read this book and I wholeheartedly support the need for change in our school lunch programs. I am passing this book along to another community member to share this knowledge with them. Below that I will sign my name and ask everyone who reads the book to do the same. It's the small part I can do to further the movement, and I have so much hope after reading this book.

That said, I know a lot of parents want to keep the flavored milks in schools (Do they know what's in it? Do they know what the alternatives are?) and are ok with eating the prepackaged processed foods for a variety of reasons. In many ways, I am in the minority. Where do you stand in the Lunch Wars?

Weigh in here, and join in the discussions on Lunch Wars with BlogHer Book Club.

Win a Hallmark card pack as part of their Get Carded campaign
Win a Purse Perfector purse organizer - trust me, you won't know what you did without it

In the interest of full disclosure, I received a copy of "Lunch Wars" for review purposes. I am also compensated as part of this campaign, but as always, all opinions expressed are my own - just check out some of my not so positive book reviews for proof of that!

BlogHer Book Club: Faithful Place

I have once again been reading - stop laughing for those of you who know me well enough to know I travel with a book just about everywhere I go. I am really enjoying being a part of the BlogHer Book Club, as I'm reading a lot of books that I otherwise wouldn't see. While I don't always love all of them, there are some really great and unique one I've been exposed to. Faithful Place by Tana French is a great example of this.

Faithful Place is Tana'a third book and once again set in Ireland. It's a gritty Ireland and while a mystery of sorts, it isn't your typical fare. I've already put her other two books on hold at my local library, which has to be one of the best indictations that I've read a good book possible, right?

Learn more about my thoughts from my Faithful Place review on the BlogHer Book Club site. Note, there are a few spoilers, but nothing to ruin the book!

Win a Hallmark card pack as part of their Get Carded campaign
Win a Purse Perfector purse organizer - trust me, you won't know what you did without it

In the interest of full disclosure, I received a copy of "Faithful Place" for review purposes. I am also compensated as part of this campaign, but as always, all opinions expressed are my own - just check out some of my not so positive book reviews for proof of that!

BlogHer Book Club: Slow Love

I have to admit that I opened the cover of Slow Love by Dominique Browning with a bit of trepidation. It is the Browning’s memoir as she moves past her layoff as editor of the newly defunct Home & Garden magazine and attempts to rediscover herself and again find happiness and purpose. The first several pages didn’t help matters, as she seemed to spend much of the first chapter plus apologizing for herself and her attitude and her behavior.

Once she gets into the meat of her story, however, the book becomes more enjoyable. I enjoyed hearing her issues with identifying the days of the week – and once mistaking a Friday for a Saturday, venturing out in her pajamas while the rest of the world briskly and efficiently headed to work. I understood her struggle to find an identity, as I’ve been in that position of facing change and figuring out how I move forward.

The part I related to much less well? Oh she has a horrible relationship. As she flashes back throughout the book, you wonder how a woman as intelligent and successful and happy as she is on the surface can struggle into and out of a relationship with a very unavailable man who clearly has no interest in a “real” relationship with her.

There’s lots more to discuss, and come join me in a discussion of Slow Love at the BlogHer Book Club!

In the interest of full disclosure, I was provided a copy of “Slow Love” for review purposes. I was also compensated for participating in this campaign. That said, all opinions expressed are – as always – my own.

BlogHer Book Review: The Kid

We read books for different reasons. Sometimes it's to learn, sometimes it's to escape, and sometimes purely for entertainment. There are also the books that force us to take a wide eyed view at our world and recognize that there is a world out there beyond what we see on a daily basis, as The Kid by Sapphire does. Those books aren't always easy to read, and this definitely falls into that category. I reviewed The Kid for the BlogHer Book Club, and I invite you to find out my true thoughts.

Enter to win a strawberries cook book
You could also win Giddy Snacks for a week - 2 winners
Win a Lawry's seasoning pack

BlogHer Book Club - The Beach Trees

Books to me are always the relaxation and escape, the time for me to step away from the world and instead focus on what isn't happening in my life. While I love reading all year round, the escapist books seem to be primarily focused on summer reading - the time most people take for their vacations and escapes. I had the opportunity earlier this summer to read The Beach Trees by Karen White. Again, this is an author I haven't read previously, and it isn't a super light book, but that doesn't mean it isn't a good fit to sneak into your beach bag along with that suntan lotion and towel. Want to know what I really thought? Check out my take on it with my BlogHer Book Club review of The Beach Trees.

Need to get organized? Enter to win a BusyBodyBook Organizer