Good-bye, Captain Underpants!

The wee ones love to read.  If they didn't, I'm sure I wouldn't be writing this post.  But they do.  They wake up in the morning and read.  They try to read at the breakfast table.  They bring books to read every time we get in the car.  And on it goes.

I've generally not really censored much of what they read.  I'll push Little Miss to get more Spanish language books from the library because she's supposed to read 30 minutes every night in Spanish and she whines about our selection that she's read "50 kajillion times, Mom!"  And I've recently had to pull Mister Man back from the Heroes of Olympus series that is not really meant for a just-turned-nine-year-old.  Beyond that, I've let them choose the books they're interested in.

They recently discovered Captain Underpants and Super Diaper Baby.  And those have been the majority of the books that have come home from both the school library and the public library.  I actually thought that I'd been blessed and we'd missed those books, but no.  And I've noticed a change.  The language has become (literally) very potty mouthed.  They talk about butts a lot.  Mister Man is discussing wedgie prowess.  And I gotta say, I'm not a fan.

They read some of the book out loud to me, and the tone is just not one I like.  I had already limited them to one Captain Underpants or Super Diaper Baby book at a time.  My mom laughs and tells me that I went through a potty fascination of my own.  Except I was four at the time.  When you're older, you apparently can get far more creative, and I'm just tired of it.  I limit the television and movies they watch, so why not the books, too?

Mister Man is currently reading The Mostly True Adventures of Homer P. Figg.  It isn't like taking the series away will dampen their interest in reading.  They are constantly quoting or reading a portion of a book to me.  The "all reading is good reading" theory only goes so far with me.  And in our case, those books are gone after today.  The final straw was finding Little Miss's notebook filled with alternate - potty mouth - names for family and friends.

There was one small pearl that came from this.  The other day, Little Miss turned to me...

Mom, what does turd mean? she asked curiously.

Well - I started to reply.

It's a really fancy word for poop! interrupted Mister Man, with arguably the best definition of turd ever.  But that didn't earn the books a reprieve.

Devious, Yes. Smart? That's Still Up In The Air....

This morning, I was awakened at 5:45 (that's really really early for me, if you're wondering) by Mister Man's cry as he ran into the bathroom that he thought he was going to throw up. That is not, needless to say, how I wanted to wake up, but it had its desired effect.

The good news is that no, he never did throw up. *knock on wood*

As I brought him back to his room, I noticed a light on under Little Miss's door. After I put him into bed, I opened her door to discover her reading in her bed. Yay, she's reading. But boo - she complains when I come to wake her up that she's really tired and can't get ready for school.

I explained that 5:45am is way too early for her to be up and reading when she knows she needs more sleep. While she wailed and threw herself across her bed, moaning that she couldn't fall back asleep and it was just impossible. I sighed and explained that she needed to try, and that I'd turn her sound machine back on. Her light switched off, and I went back to my own bedroom.

A moment or two later, I heard her bedroom door close. I knew that meant she'd once again turned on her light and started reading - because I can't see her light on when her door is closed (in her mind). I debated the merits of being a good and consistent parent with the lure of my nice warm bed before sighing and trundling myself back down to her room.

Once inside, I explained again that she needed to try to sleep and was not allowed to read right now. In fact, if she read again this morning before wakeup time instead of trying to sleep, I was going to have to take her books out of her room for the day.

Turning off the light switch, confident that she wouldn't risk losing her books, I slipped back into my room and closed my eyes. And I heard her door shut again. My debate waged once again before I headed down the hallway.

This time, her light was on the dimmer - because maybe it was the bright light that warned me she was reading. Ummm, no. She looked up in genuine shock as I opened her door before hurtling herself atop the book she was reading in a vain attempt to keep me from removing it - and the other four books she'd stashed in her room. I explained very firmly that those books were not to be brought back into her room.

I went back to sleep. Almost. There was a suspicious creak in the hallway. Groaning, I debated once again pretending that I hadn't heard anything before sneaking into the hallway myself.

Little Miss had no light on this time. And she hadn't brought the book into her room. And she hadn't closed her door, tipping me off.

Seriously, one day, this girl is going to be the death of me. And yes, she did once again complain at 7am that she was really tired and wanted to go back to bed and sleep some more.

I Had To Wrestle It From Her Hands

Little Miss has the attitude in life that if you can do it, she can do it better. While this will serve her well later in life, it's also the source of much frustration as the younger sister. Understandably, she doesn't get why it's hard for her to do things that her bigger brother (and Mommy and Daddy) can do so easily.

Reading is a perfect example. While she could read if she tried, the fact that she's the only one in our family struggling with it means she doesn't even want to try. If she can't be the best...

We've been working our way through the Bob Books (which I highly, highly recommend to anyone who is trying to figure out how to encourage a child to read and get more comfortable doing so). I feel like we've been reading them for what seems like years. She'll go through fits and starts where she wants to do them and learn to read and tries hard and then weeks where she won't even look at them because they're too hard and she doesn't know and why won't Mommy just read them to her?

I know she won't go to college not reading, though, and she'll figure it out at her own pace, so I don't worry about it or push her to read the books when she isn't into them. That said, she knows the rule in our house is that she can't get a library card until she has finished the Bob Book series.

Last night, I mentioned to her that her kindergarten class was going on a field trip to the library. Again. She asked if she could check out books if she had her own library card, and yes, she can. Her school has parents send in the cards, and then they manage book checkout at the library. It's pretty cool, and it's yet another reason why I love love love the school she's attending.

She thought about it for a moment before looking up at me. Mommy, I want a library card tonight.

Ummmm, ok? Well, Sweetie, you have homework we have to finish before we can read any of the Bob Books. And you do realize that we have to finish Set 5 and then the two sight word sets we have, right? That's a lot of books.

She nodded determinedly and lost the bad attitude about the homework she'd been moping about for the twenty minutes since she'd gotten off the bus. Within ten minutes, we'd finished all her homework - a genuine miracle.

Forty minutes later, we'd finished Set 5. The Sight Words books were all that were left. We were both delighted to discover that those books were super easy, Mommy. This is just easy peasy book reading and not more advanced than the Set 5 we'd just finished. I'm not sure how, but we just finished the last of the sight words books (there were ten in each of the two sets) before it was time to eat dinner.

Mommy, I finished them. All of them. I can read now. Let's go to the library right now! she exclaimed excitedly, bouncing in every direction around me.

Sweat Pea, we need to eat dinner. If you finish you dinner and we have time before bedtime, I will take you. Otherwise, it will probably have to be this weekend, do you understand?

Shockingly, she sat down and ate her meal with gusto. She drank her milk with nary a complaint (and ohhh now that we're back to rice milk, do we hear complaints on a daily basis, although adding cinnamon to it helps). We trooped into the car and the six degree night with a windchill south of sanity.

Little Miss proudly signed her name to her very first library card last night. She promised to take good care of the books she borrowed with her own card and to be responsible for any fines she might incur - although I'm pretty sure she didn't know what that last phrase meant. It didn't matter. She'd agree to give away her Lotso bear if it meant getting a library card at that point.

Once she had the library card, she held it in front of her like a beacon, proudly announcing to everyone crossing our path that she was the proud owner of a brand, new library card that she got just tonight because I can read! It was pretty cute. She bounced up the stairs to the children's area where she accosted a librarian to determine what books she should bestow the honor of being the first books to come home with her very own, brand new library card.

Two minutes later, she'd selected two Biscuit books she was confident she could read with no assistance from me, and we were on our way. She checked out her books all on her own using our way cool self-checkout technology.

(Ignore the tongue sticking out thing. She fell in school today and bit her tongue hard to the point she was sent to the nurse because the teacher couldn't stop the bleeding. It's sensitive, still, so she's been sticking it out in a misguided effort to get it to heal faster.)

Once the books were officially hers, I reached over to pick up her library card to put it into my wallet. No dice. She swiped it from beneath my fingers before I could grasp it. Mommy, that's my card, not yours. It took a full five minutes of discussing with her before she'd finally turn it over. I actually had to show her where in my wallet I kept Mister Man's library card before she'd agree that I could hold onto it for her because that is my very own card now, Mommy. Because I can read, and I finished the Bob Books, and I got my own library card. I can use it to check out books, and it belongs to me.

Welcome a new reader to our family!

Oh, and while you're at it, I finally set up a Facebook Fan page for my blog. It's way overdue. Go like me on Facebook if you would so I can get an official username - once I get enough likes. You can also follow me on Twitter, too, if you're so inclined.

How Not To Teach About Past Tense

Yesterday, I was working with Little Miss on her reading, as she's still not fully reading independently. Part of that is because she doesn't want to try, knowing that she's the only one in the family who doesn't know how to read.

After reminding her that once she learns how to read she'll earn her very own library card, she was once again excited about trying reading. And she's actually much better than she thinks she is. We're continuing to read the Bob Books, and she's starting to get into compound words.

We came to a book that includes several words with the "ed" ending. Since it isn't really pronounced "ehd" or something that's easy to explain, I decided to explain the concept of past tense, much like I explained the concept of the silent e and how it worked magic on the vowel earlier in the word.

So Little Miss, do you know what past tense is?

No, she muttered, pouting at me.

Well, the "ed" at the end of words shows that they are past tense. They happened before. Action words we've been reading have been in present tense, meaning they are happening now.

*Blank Look*

Think about it with this example. Today I jump. Yesterday, what did you do?

I don't know. I don't remember! she wailed.

Once I recovered and finally stopped laughing, I did get the concept explained to her. No no, Sweetie. I don't mean what did you actually do yesterday. I mean if you jump every day, today you jump and yesterday you jumped, and she is happily now reading her past tense words. She's even figured out the dreaded "ight" words.

Ummm and yes, she is wearing a swimsuit cover up over her clothes, why do you ask?

Current Giveaways:
The Dolphin: Story of a Dreamer DVD with 2 winners here
Professional cookware, courtesy Jewel here
Baby Einstein Discovery Kit here

Simplifying English

Quick reminder of three giveaways here, here, and here.

***

Little Miss is in the process of learning to read. Sort of. She really really wants to read, mostly because she sees everyone around her reading. This is the girl who insists she can do everything anyone else can - and do it better.

Reading? Not so much her forte right now.

And I can understand why. Fortunately, I don't remember the painful process I went through in learning to read, but watching Little Miss struggle and try to figure it out, I'm really realizing how difficult the English language is to read.

I am grateful that we don't speak Mandarin or Japanese or another language where the characters add a whole different level of complexity to reading and writing, but English doesn't exactly make it easy. French, on the other hand, is pretty straightforward. If you see an "e" with an accent aigu, you know exactly how to say it each and every time. It just doesn't change.

English? Pronounce "lead" for me - nope, I mean the other one, "lead." How about "project" - or is it "project?" Maybe it's for, four, or fore? To, too, or two? Flower or flour? Where or wear? You get my point.

When I read historical fiction, there are some authors that go with more "genuine" spelling for the era in correspondance, and you can see how words were more often spelled exactly as they sound. Letters were more consistent in how they were pronounced.

But we have lost our way somehow. We've made English into a complex and confusing langauge (I won't even get into grammar - just sticking with reading, since that's our issue right now; I'll revisit grammar when Mister Man is struggling in Language Arts in second grade).

I propose that we make some changes.

First of all, there will be a new letter for the "oo" sound. And by "oo" sound, I mean the one for "boo" and not for "brook." Brook may continue to use the "oo" combination.

G will only be pronounced like the "g" in grandma. There is no more "j" sound allowed with G - all those move to be spelled with a J.

And for those who need to spell Hebrew words, there will be a new letter for the "ch" sound in Challah and Chanukah. I haven't decided yet what it looks like, but there is definitely a need for a new letter, potentially a c with a fun accent.

Then we have the "ght" sound. That will be replaced on a go-forward basis with simply a T. Right, might, thought, bought, and so forth become easier to read and to write. Ta-da!

Little Miss is also struggling with the "th" sound. Is it "the" or "with?" We will bring in a new form for the hard sounding "th" - an accent over the h perhaps? The standard soft sounding "th" can remain as is.

Oh, and the "sh" sound in sure and other words? Yep, it goes back to being spelled shure, just like I (and about four other people) spelled in in the fifth grade spelling bee. In case you're wondering, I'm a visual not an auditory learner.

The letter S will be corrected in many words to have only the ssss sound like snake. Z will replace the Ss currently in words like busy.

Oddly, I'm ok with double letters and silent Es. I'm not quite sure why I have this double standard, but it's there.

In thee end, are language will look like this. If wee are to bizy riting, or thout we were, to consentrate on how to brake apart the correct spellingz, we will still bee able to rite and not fite our teecherz.

Or maybe not. Just writing that paragraph hurt my brain. Apparently Little Miss is just going to have to figure it out, slowly but surely. Perhaps it's a good life lesson in dealing with frustration and failure, learning to persevere and finally succeed.

Gunning For Mom Of The Year

I'm a good mom. Generally. Most of the time. In fact, I have people say nice things about my parenting skills sometimes.

But I have a secret.

Shhh.

Sometimes, Little Miss asks me to read a book, a certain book. A book that involves Thomas the Tank Engine, and I groan. Now, this isn't an ordinary Thomas book - that cheeky engine who loves to be a helper. No, this is a book that comes from the genre invented by someone who has no children.

This is one of those books that has sounds. Every third word, there is a picture, and a corresponding button that Little Miss is supposed to push that makes a "cute" sound.

*sigh*

Since Little Miss doesn't know how to read (yet!), nor has she memorized where the sounds go, she simply starts pushing them as soon as I turn the page. Then she can't hear what words I read. So she makes me repeat it. Except then she starts pressing the buttons again. And my headache begins.

Sometimes I tell her that Mommy has to work and so can't read to her (even when I've finished working for the day). Sometimes Mommy hides the book for a few days to get a respite. Sometimes I decide that naptime needs to be moved up by a half hour, and unfortunately that means the book can't be read right then. Now that Mister Man reads fluently, sometimes I ask him to read it to her -- and then I go hide elsewhere.

It isn't that I don't enjoy reading to her. We read regularly, and we read all sorts of books (except Barney that I banned from the house). We read together, and we tell stories about what we think the books could be about.

But ohhh those books that make sounds.

The good(?) news is that the batteries are starting to run low. I say this because when batteries in a sound activated toy start going, the sound quality deteriorates (further). That oh-so-adorable noise of Thomas's broken whistler now sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard. The cheerful peep of James is quite mournful. And the thrumming of Harold the Helicopter sounds ... more like paper ripping. And that might be generous.

I keep praying that the batteries will finally conk out. And I keep hiding that book, but somehow it keeps appearing on the bookshelf.

Do you think she'd notice if it was permanently "lost?"

Froooooooggy!

On our way to a Northwestern game earlier this fall, Mister Man decided to entertain Little Miss by reading one of her favorite books (we LOVE the Froggy books around here -- it's all she gets from the library).

As I was listening to him read, I realized that he was doing so in a sing-song voice. And that I actually knew the tune. And he for the most part was managing to get the meter to match the tune.

Luckily, I had my camera with me, so I captured some of it on video. As is typical, he stopped shortly after I began recording, even though he'd been doing it for the ten minutes prior. Still cute.

Ten points if you can name that tune!

A Chip Off The Old Block

This morning, Mister Man slept in a little, and he didn't have to be to daycare until 9, so I let him. When I took Little Miss down for breakfast, I peeked in but he was still sleeping.

A few minutes later, I went upstairs and saw that he was sitting up in bed. As I pushed his door open to say good morning, he pulled the covers over something and looked up guiltily. "Good morning, Mom," he told me peeking up at me to see if I'd noticed.

I smiled at him. "Kiddo, if you want to read in the morning after you wake up, that's ok."

"Huh?"

"Yep. It isn't ok to read at night when you're supposed to be sleeping, but if you wake up and have time to read before you need to get up and go, that's perfectly fine."

His face visibly brightened. "Oh, good!" And he uncovered Good Morning Gorilla - his latest Magic Treehouse book - and hopped out of bed.

Apparently me taking away the book that he was reading the other night about forty-five minutes after bedtime sunk in. And now he's hiding his reading. I remember those days. I remember hiding the flashlight under the covers and reading. I remember feeling like I was getting away with something.

And now? Now I'm the mom, hiding the smile at the joy my child finds in reading, so happy that this is something he sees as a pleasure and not something to fear. I can only hope that he feels the same way two and five and ten years from now.

And This Is Why I Don't Read....

I have a stack of books that I want to read. And I truly want to read them. I haven't made much of a dent in them, though. It's completely rational. I have a ton of stuff to do, and reading just isn't up there in the priorities. It should be, I know, but reading is dangerous.

Forty-eight hours ago, I knew little about Twilight. I knew that it was about Edward and Bella and that they were vampires. I knew it was based in the Pacific Northwest. And I knew that it was a love story. Oh, and I knew that there were four books, although I couldn't have told you the titles other than the first one.

Then a friend of mine lent me Twilight. She had a copy, and it meant I didn't need to buy the book or wait for the library -- although I wasn't on the wait list, so I wasn't getting it that way anytime soon anyway.

I put it into the mental pile of books I want to read. And the wee ones and I happened to go to the library that same day. I was interested in finding Love and Logic, which Dawn had recommended to me. The wee ones were occupied with their books, my husband had met me at the library and was watching them... and I snuck down into the adult section.

While there, I found Love and Logic. I've read the first three chapters so far and enjoy it. I also put myself on the wait list for the other Twilight books. I now know their names, although not the order in which they were written.

It's possible that I also picked up a Sharon Kay Penman book that I'm three quarters of the way through reading.

I left Twilight in my car, since I know that bringing it into the house would mean I'd read it. Then I got a mani/pedi. Oops. Rather than read the outdated magazines, I brought the book into the shop with me. This was Monday.

At 1:16am Monday evening, I finished Twilight. I then called the friend who lent it to me to see if she was home so I could "return" it to her. She offered to lend me the next one. She wasn't home, so I couldn't do the switch, but she volunteered to stop by my house after she finished running around for the day.

At 5pm, I had no new book. I "happened" to be driving by her house running an errand at 5:30 and decided to bring the book back to her house. She had company though, so I disappointedly just tied the bag containing Twilight to her door.

She saw me though and insisted that I come in, as it was just her MIL. And she lent me the second book. I didn't get home until 9pm from the errands I was running, but I started reading the book then.

At 8:32am, I finished the New Moon. And my friend is still not finished with Eclipse, so I have to wait for that. I just checked at the library, and I'm still eighth on the wait list.

And this, this is why I don't read. A magazine I can put down after an article and go about my day or fall asleep. A good book is always just "one more chapter" although even I know that isn't true when I think it.

Maybe it's a good thing that I don't have access to Eclipse yet. Unless I go buy it somewhere....



** EDITED TO ADD **

PS At about 10am this morning, I got an email from my local library. I have a book now waiting for me. Yep, it's Eclipse. Why not any of the others, I don't know. But tomorrow morning I'll be headed to pick it up. I didn't get it (and finish it) today only because the library closes at 9pm and I didn't check my email until 9:23pm. Apparently today's productivity will be shot tomorrow. Only one more to go after that, at least!

My Budding Librarian

A couple weeks ago, we had some friends over for dinner. While everyone was waiting for me to finish the delicious meal I spent hours slaving over, Mister Man decided to entertain Little Miss and one of my friends.

A couple things I noticed when doing this:

1) The wee ones apparently don't get the difference between a still photo and video, as evidenced by the "cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese"ing from Little Miss

2) My friends are weird. The "cleek" you kept hearing in the background was my friend imitating her dad imitating the traditional Japanese tourists.

Regardless, I thought it was very cute and sweet. I only took about 30 seconds of video before dashing back into the kitchen. Once safely back in the kitchen, I asked him if he was reading like they do at school.

He reassured me that he was doing it just like Mrs. G does. Oh! Except Mrs. G sits on a chair when she reads rather than standing up in people's faces. He ran to the ottoman at that point and finished reading them the book from about ten feet away.

Can I get an "awwwww"?