The Much Anticipated Wedding Recap!

Ok, I’m long overdue, but I finally have a wedding recap!

The bridesmaid and I flew to Houston and checked into our rooms, which were lovely. I had a gorgeous view from my room of the forest that is part of the acreage and is threaded with trails. I don’t think you can actually see any of the nicely cushioned walking/running trails in the picture, but they’re there.

We immediately headed up to the groom’s room, because he and the bride had so generously brought us barbeque from their dinner out, which was quite yummy. The whole weekend was filled with little nice things like that, which were all so appreciated.

On Friday, I went to the health club at the Houstonian, which was far swankier than any I’ve been to in the past but I won’t complain. I actually got lost trying to find the track and/or treadmills for my run. When I saw an employee and asked him where it was, he actually walked me all the way to the treadmills rather than giving me generic directions.

The run actually went well, which was good as I’d been worried since I’d never run on a treadmill before. The weird thing was getting off the treadmill. I felt like I was going to do a somersault at any point. I thought maybe it was because I was overheated, as I don’t sweat and frequently have problems when it’s warm out. I actually chose to run on the treadmill vs on the lovely paths outside because I was worried about overheating. As I was walking through the café to get back to the hotel, I actually got a huge drink of water from them, and that helped a little.

After I got home, I asked a few people who run frequently their thoughts on why I felt so off. I’ve had a variety of responses, from agreeing that it was probably from overheating to the theory that I was looking at something too close while running for 36 minutes and then walking and seeing things move for real threw me for a loop to the theory that I needed to have the treadmill on an incline (which I didn’t know, and I think it was set at 0%) or it would be as though I were running downhill. Needless to say, I haven’t had the opportunity to try again, but I’ll definitely be experimenting this summer!

Anyway, after I got back, my friend and a friend of her mom’s picked us up to take us to get our mani/pedis. Ahhh, I love the vibrating chair and foot and hand massage. Actually, I could skip the polish and just do that part!

As our nails were drying, my friend presented us with our bridesmaid gifts (ok, the two of us anyway, the third bridesmaid still hadn’t landed from Israel). All I have to say, is: take a look!

They are freshwater pearls that were hand picked by a friend of the bride’s mom and strung specifically for each necklace. Now I feel bad for my friends when I got married. It isn’t like I got them nothing, but I just got them a spa case with a variety of products. Oh well…

We then went to have Pho for lunch, which was yummy and busy. I finally met my friend’s sister for the first time (they get along fine, but she isn’t in the wedding because she wasn’t comfortable with it) and several of her aunts who ate with us. Apparently, this restaurant is in what used to be a K-Mart. I had my hopes up briefly as my friend was telling me about the Icee stand in the middle of the floor, but I soon learned she meant when it was a K-Mart, not now. Still yummy!

And after that, there was more as we headed to get some bubble tea (mmmm!) and chat for awhile before we headed back to the hotel to relax for a little while. The other bridesmaid and I went for a walk on the trails and also to go check out the pools (yes, pools – there were four) when we ran into the groom and one of his brothers, who we also hadn’t met before. It took us awhile to connect though, as they were banging on the inside of mirrored glass and didn’t get that we couldn’t see them.

Finally we converged and went to go check out the pools together. Wow. I really wish I’d taken a picture of them, but I didn’t have my camera with me and never thought to take one after that. They had a slide built into some rocks near a waterfall – which we went down of course! Plus, there was a lap pool, a relaxing pool, a hot tub and more. At this point, we were both regretting not bringing our kids (and respective parents to corral them) so they could have fun there and we could see them.

We then went to the rehearsal, which was entertaining. I got lost trying to find the room but eventually made it and wasn’t even close to the last person there, fortunately! It was an entertaining rehearsal, as the room wasn’t the same room the ceremony would be in, so it was somewhat makeshift. The third bridesmaid was quite obviously not going to pay attention, which showed when we went through the second time and she tried to stop and stand in my spot instead of at the other end of the dais.

The eleven year old ring bearer wore his sunglasses and did his Miami Vice shooting fingers snap gesture all the way up the aisle. Fortunately, he left that for this part and didn’t do it during the ceremony. The flower children (the eleven year old’s half siblings) were obviously very tired after flying in from Israel that day, and they weren’t really interested in participating. It’s always a risk to have very small children in the wedding, and they were obviously a bit overwhelmed with it.

Fortunately, by the end we all seemed to know where we were going and what we were doing, which helped. And the bride was a good sport, as she even carried the bow bouquet I’d made her at the shower. Her dad was so cute walking her down the aisle. I won’t say that same for the bride when she sucker punched the groom as he leaned in to kiss her (after insisting that he had the wrong woman when “checking” under the nonexistent veil).

Pretty quickly, it was time for the rehearsal dinner, which was a hoot. The groom’s parents hired buses to get us from the hotel to Fung’s Kitchen Seafood Restaurant. There we enjoyed nine delicious courses ranging from chicken lettuce wraps to lobster to sesame balls. Lucky me, I took only a few bites of the courses that sounded the most appealing to me versus eating a bunch of everything. Some of the guests were a touch too full by the end of the night to enjoy the sesame balls and melons, but not me!

My friend also had the cutest costumes made up for the wine bottles. They were supposed to be a girl in a kimono and a boy in traditional dress including a cap and ponytail, but the restaurant only put out the girl costumes, not that anyone who didn’t know about it in advance figured it out or would have cared anyway. They were adorable, and both my friend and I were sent home with some of the extras to give to our children to use as doll clothes.

Unlike a traditional rehearsal dinner where the bridal party and families were the ones invited, everyone from out of town plus all the in town relatives were at the rehearsal dinner, which meant there were in the neighborhood of 120 people there. It was a little chaotic, but in a good way. And it also gave the two dads a chance to practice their toasting for the actual wedding night. They literally toasted (and drank) at every single one of the 17 tables, with our table being the last one.

That would also explain the discussion on the bus ride home (which fortunately included only the groom, the groom’s dad, the other bridesmaid, one of the groom’s brothers, and me). When the groom’s dad starts insisting that he’s getting too much information on details of his son’s life he doesn’t care to know about, you know people have had too much to drink. The only good news is that the dad may or may not have remembered it the next day. I didn’t ask.

The next morning, we had until 11am before the hair and makeup artist was coming to do us up right. Obviously, that meant we had to spend some time at the pool. We were both careful not to spend enough time in the sun to get tan lines that would show in our dresses, but we definitely enjoyed the weather.

Given the humidity in Houston, we all vowed not to set foot outside the hotel once we had makeup and hair done... especially since we were having it done eight hours before the ceremony! Only the three of us plus the bride’s MIL were getting our hair and makeup done. The third bridesmaid (who had no interest in talking to us anyway or meeting or getting to know her new SIL) wasn’t going to get anything done and was just doing her own.

The bridesmaid and I decided that we were going to enjoy our time getting hair and makeup done and ordered up champagne, orange juice, munchies, tomato juice, and Tabasco (to go with my friend’s vodka). I think the bride was surprised, but not unhappy, about it. And it definitely helped us pass the time while were hung out.

The hair and makeup artist started with my hair. I explained that it tends to be very curly and won’t work if she tries to straighten it, especially in this humidity. I told her she could do whatever she and the bride wanted with my hair, which turned into a half up, half down ‘do. Once completed, I felt somewhat like a ‘50s housewife and it wasn’t my style, but it was cute and worked.

The MIL was done next, and we watched our words with her in the room. As she was leaving, she told us that she was going to watch her grandkids so the third bridesmaid could come to our room to hang out for awhile and get to know us. Oh, and she insisted on writing a check to cover the third bridesmaid’s share of the snacks we ordered (and yes, I did finally get a check from the MIL for the dress Sunday). We all saw through her statement though in that she was forcing the third bridesmaid to spend some time with us because even she saw how sad it was.

When the third bridesmaid came to chat with us, we could see that she had spent time at the pool, too, and not just because she was still wearing her swimsuit with a coverup. I was hoping that the tan lines wouldn’t be too obvious with her dress, and fortunately I never noticed them that night. I will say that I understand now the MIL’s comment that she insisted on buying not just the dress, shoes and jewelry (she chose large and black, which I thought was an interesting choice given our dresses) for the third bridesmaid, but also her undergarments, as I don’t think I saw her wearing any others the entire weekend, not that I was trying to look, mind you.

Anyway, once the makeup artist left at 3, we were on our own until pictures started before the ceremony. We got the bride checked into her room, ensured the dress had been appropriately delivered and … wait a minute! The dress was delivered, but there was no veil! Fortunately, after calling both the front desk and Saks to find out where the veil was, someone discovered it in the luggage room and brought it to us. Crisis number one averted!

We made our way down to the girls’ changing room where we proceeded to get ready for the wedding. It was quite entertaining to watch the flock of women and come into and run out of the room to talk to the bride as she was getting ready.

The other bridesmaid and I got her into her dress and shoes, and she looked gorgeous. The makeup artist returned and touched us up – especially my hair that was being forced to be far straighter than I likes. Somewhere in there, the flower person arrived, and the bridesmaid and I helped check the flowers.

It was at that point that we realized that the chuppah had no roof! When bringing it to the bride’s attention, she blew it off as not a big deal, but fortunately we know better. Without alarming her (sorry if you’re reading this!), we alerted others who could help us fix it. The florist got it and wasn’t going to leave until we had figured out a way to make a roof for the chuppah. Somewhere, someone found a tablecloth that was large enough to cover it, and the florist pinned it up with materials from his truck. By the time he finished, no one was the wiser, and I certainly hope that he got a huge tip!

Finally, it was time for the ceremony. The groom and his attendants awaited everyone on the dais. One by one, the bridesmaids walked up the center aisle. Then we waited for the flower boy (the girl insisted on being carried by her mom, who was the third bridesmaid). And waited. And finally saw him, sprinkling rose petals behind him, coming up the side aisle. Mental note to specify the route for small children in the future. Fortunately, it broke up some of the tension in the room, as we all awwwed at him.

Then the bride came with her dad, and she was handed off to the groom. She looked gorgeous and as happy as any bride should. The opening line of the ceremony mentioned the importance of the chuppah and what the roof of it stood for (ha! Again, I’m so glad we insisted that was fixed!). There were no hitches, no lost rings, no missed steps. And suddenly, my friends were married!

The reception was just as lovely, with a gorgeous cake that I would never have dreamed up in a million years but that I totally loved and would have had for my wedding cake had I seen it. Plus, there was the surprise poker groom’s cake and the tuxedo flowers (that I only tasted because I stole one off an untouched plate near the end of the ceremony).

The dinner was delicious, with the main course of a center cut filet and crab cake – two of my favorite foods. It went faster than I thought it was going to, but the wait for the cake was worth it. I had the coconut (it was coconut, right?) cake that was supposed to have raspberry filling. Mine lacked the filling, as it was a tiny corner piece, but I snagged some of the filling from my husband’s piece who so generously shared when his attention was diverted. To be fair, I did give him my entire groom’s cake piece, as I’m not a fan of chocolate cake.

Once the dining was over, the band started to play, loudly as you’d expect at any public event. This was all the groom’s doing, and the Lost Boys play 80s music, which I’m totally good with. I think I danced for almost the entire time, with maybe one five or so minute break. The only downside is that there were literally no slow songs to dance to, which was a bit of a bummer. The gamut of songs they played was incredible though, and they did a great job, even though most of the guests left once cake was served. Personally, I don’t get leaving a wedding that early, but I’ve been to enough where people head out once cake is served. I don’t remember that really happening at my wedding so much, but I could have faulty recall there, too.

I will say that everything there was fantastic and well done. If anyone is ever getting married in the Houston area and needs some referrals of wedding vendors, I can definitely speak to the strengths and weaknesses of those that were used by my friend.

Finally, we got to the toasts. The co-best men gave their spiel, and I immediately was grateful that I had a written copy of mine with me as I listened to them. Then a friend of the groom’s parents gave his toast (and three times called the groom by the wrong name, which apparently was not an inside joke), which he does at every function where the families are together. Finally, it was my turn. I gave my toast and went to hug the bride. At which point I found out that I’d made her cry! That’s the mark of a good toast in my book, and it made my night to know that I’d touched her.

The next morning, we had a brunch hosted by the bride’s family at a house on the hotel grounds. Again, everyone from out of town, plus all the relatives were invited, so you can imagine the mass of people. When I had gotten the original invitation to the brunch, I had assumed it would be more formal, with food served, the hosts saying a few words, everyone there at the same time, etc.

The way they actually did it was very different, but it worked. The whole Manor House was rented out, and it was a beautiful spread of a buffet. People came in and left when they chose between 10 and 12, and they simply sat in a room at a table that appealed to them. The only disappointment I had was that I really had to search out the parents and in-laws to thank them again as I was leaving. The bride and groom chose to sit at my table, at least, so that made things easy!

Oh, and that whole outfit I’m wearing in the pictures at brunch… the whole thing is going. I never realized how unflattering that blouse is, but the magic of Kodak will certainly clear that up. I’m not sure I want any more pictures of me in any clothes after that! And the pants… well, as I was packing everything up in the bathroom, my makeup slipped off the counter and shattered on the floor. Oh yeah, and it splattered all over the legs of my pants (yep, before breakfast, yay!). I’ve tried everything I can think of to get the makeup out of the pants (that I’d worn once before that Sunday), but they’re trashed. If anyone has any suggestions, I’d love to hear them, but I’m not holding my breath.

Ok, and here’s my moment to be petty. The third bridesmaid did not choose a dress that flattered her. The primary issue is that she insisted on ordering a size 8, yet she is larger than I am (and I didn’t order an 8). With an empire neckline and A-line skirt, she didn’t have the most forgiving dress. We found out later that the MIL had to rip out the lining in order for her to be able to zip the dress. And she still (in the words of a friend of mine) looked like an overstuffed sausage in the dress. Another word of caution for those who are getting caught up in numbers instead of what really fits. While my dress turned out to be slightly too large even after taking it in some, I’m still thrilled that it fit well enough to not make me look like an immense cow.

And now, for the toast (and no, I didn’t write it on the plane. I actually wrote it Friday morning while waiting for the bride to pick us up to get our mani/pedis – but I did find the time to write it at least!):

For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Michelle. Thank you to Mr. and Mrs. K and Mr. and Mrs. R for such a lovely evening tonight, and to J and A for inviting me to be a part of it.

I’ve known J since she graduated from business school and started working at the same consulting company I did ten years ago. We’ve been through a lot together, and I couldn’t be happier for her tonight.

You couldn’t ask for a better friend than J. She is incredibly generous and always willing to help out. She’s never gone on a trip and not come back with some sort of gift for me, for my children, for my kitchen, or for whoever she thought might enjoy something she saw. She never comes to my house empty-handed, although all I ask of her is some company.

(This was directed at J) Over the years of spending time in each other’s company, we’ve had lots of fun, from someone offering to buy you at a Bears game to more cooking classes than we can count to endless Slurpee’s from the Seven-Eleven across from Wrigley that we’d enjoy at Cubs’ games. We’ve both had our share of dating issues and definitely kissed our share of frogs. In the past, we’ve joked that we are freak magnets, but tonight you’ve proven that this isn’t true.

It’s time to say goodbye to bad blind dates and awkward meetings in bars and to Ivy League dinners. In the past, there have been guys you’ve dated who we knew weren’t the one, but we always supported you. When you started talking about A, there was something different.

It’s far more than that, however. A and J are a great match. Each has quirks, but those quirks complement each other. A is a rock for J when she needs one, and J has an excuse to really cook with A. They both challenge each other intellectually and keep each other on their toes, which should provide years of entertainment for both them and those of us who are around them. But most importantly, J and A make each other happy, and you can’t ask for more than that.

I always knew that there was a man out there for J who would truly understand her and love her the way she deserves, and I’m so glad to see that she waited to find A, and that he is all those things for her. It may have been many years in the making, but A was certainly worth waiting for. It is so great to finally see you so happy.

Best wishes to the happy couple on their wedding day. May your love for each other grow with each passing year and blossom into your own family.

And They're Off!

Today was the day. Everyone got on their respective planes and headed out.

This morning, Little Miss came flying down the hallway to greet me after Mister Man told her it was ok to wake up.

Little Miss: Mommy, Mommy! Today we go to Florida.
Me: That’s right, Peanut. What do we have to do before we go to Grandma’s house?

Here, I’m thinking that she just woke up, her diaper hasn’t been changed, and she’s still in her pjs.

Little Miss: I need to pack my stuff in my suitcase so that I can take it with me on the plane to Florida.

Well, yes, I suppose she does, but her priorities are obviously different from mine. She flew back down the hallway into her room and reemerged a moment later, rolling her Tinkerbell suitcase behind her.

Little Miss: Look, Mommy. I packed up everything I need and put it in my suitcase, and I’m ready to go to Grandma and Grandpa’s house now. Wordy for a two and a half year old, isn't she? She never stops, either.

She then unzippered to show me the contents of her suitcase. Snuggle blanket? Check. Penguin? Check. Naked Baby Coco? Check. Random hospital blanket? Okay, check. Baby Coco’s shirt? Check.

I then added her warm blanket with her name on it, the rest of Baby Coco’s clothes – sans diaper that appears to be missing – and three books that she chose. Not bad for a two and a half year old packing her own suitcase. And yes, she was then changed and dressed.

While Mister Man got dressed, I packed his suitcase, which made things much easier. His Baby (Thomas pillow), blanket, Douglas Kitty and grey teddy bear went into the suitcase. He later added a Thomas felt play book and three other books.

Ta da! We were done and ready to head over to Grandma and Grandpa’s house in time for me to get back and start working on time. I was hard to say goodbye for so long, but I’ve already gotten the phone call that they’re enjoying Orlando.

Speaking of Orlando, if you’ve been reading this for any length of time you’ll know the story behind this trip. I’m the MOH at a friend’s wedding in Houston this weekend. Even though my husband is a schoolteacher and can’t make it down until Saturday morning, he can’t watch the wee ones because he leaves for school long before the bus comes for Mister Man.

My parents generously volunteered to watch the wee ones for us while we were gone. Then, they asked if they could take the wee ones to Florida. Every year, they’ve taken them to Tampa for four or so days, so I was fine with that. Then I got to call from my mom.

“The hotel we stay at had no rooms available at all for the time we want to go, so we decided to go to Orlando again. The tickets were getting expensive, so we booked them already. We’ll be leaving the morning of May first and will be back the Saturday before Mothers’ Day.”

Uhhh, what? You’re taking the kids for ten days without clearing it with me first? And now you’re going to Orlando, land of Mickey?

I had a little issue with that. Telling my mom that I did not want them to take the wee ones to Disney for the first time without me didn’t go over well.

“They’re young. They won’t remember that it isn’t their first time anyway.”

Considering that they remember the most minor detail from eons ago, I don’t think that’s exactly true. Plus, they’re my children, and if I say don’t take them to Disney, at some point you need to respect my POV. I was mildly irrirated, as you may already know.

My mom finally came down to resignation that she was fine with not taking them to Disney but that I had to convince my dad since she can’t control what he does. I had several conversations with my dad around this, since he also doesn’t really get it.

Then I started hearing Little Miss randomly say: Grandpa is going to take me everywhere, but not to Disney. I suppose that should have been my clue that my dad had finally come around. I confirmed that this past weekend, and there will be no Disney on this vacation.

As for me, I arrived at the Houstonian just fine, although much later than we’d hoped. My friends picked up dinner for us and had it waiting in the groom’s room. Mmmm, Texas barbeque. Anyone who’s from Texas, skip to the next paragraph. I’m not a fan of brisket, so I ended up having barbeque chicken, but it was so yummy! I’ve been told that not eating the brisket is somewhat of a heresy, so shhhh!

The baked beans in Texas are also interesting. They had baked apples in them, which I’d never heard of before. I don’t know if this is a normal thing here or just something this restaurant does, but it was interesting. My first bite of an apple chunk was expectedly tentative.

The hotel is swanky. I’ll be taking pictures and posting them after I get home. For now, I need to get to sleep as I’m going running before my friend picks us up for manicures and pedicures, lunch and mmm bubble tea!

T Minus Four Days...

I realized that I have a heck of a lot to do in the next couple days aside from the usual working and wrangling kids. Fortunately, Google came to my rescue to alert me to all my duties prior to and the day of the wedding, as well as what I’m supposed to carry in my invisible shrinking bag on the day of the wedding.

My dress did finally arrive about two weeks ago, fortunately. When I tried it on, it was too big, but it’s since been altered as much as it’s going to be. I’m so not a sewer, so don’t ask me what was done. A friend’s mom did it for me, and said friend dropped it off around 9:30 last night. Needless to say, I’ve yet to try it on again. That’s a task for tomorrow, I think… somewhere between dropping Little Miss at preschool, an hour long conference call, running, picking up Little Miss, getting to Language Stars (where of course it’s parents’ week, so I have to stay), and going to Mom’s Night at Mister Man’s preschool. Oh yeah, and the final prep for the Cinco de Mayo celebration when I get back on Monday!

Fortunately, I already had silver shoes and appropriate jewelry, so that part is taken care of with no worries. And since we’re in Houston, I won’t even pretend like I’m going to wear pantyhose. The hair and makeup lady is going to take care of me, so that’s set.

And before anyone lectures me on being too irreverent or not performing my duties with the proper respect, keep in mind that my friend who’s getting married isn’t exactly into the whole girlie wedding thing. She’s no help to me when asking her what she wants or needs me to do, nor does she really care.

I do know that I have a speech to write, but I’ve yet to start on that one. Maybe that’ll be a task for the plane ride down (which means the other bridesmaid will yell at me when she sees me working on it then since she’s sitting next to me for the flight; she’s a little more uptight about this whole thing than I am). Anyone have a good speech I can use?

I know I’m in charge of keeping her dress straight and pinning up the train afterwards. Oh yeah, and holding her bouquet during the ceremony. All of that came as news to my friend, so I went googling MOH duties tonight and found a great list of what I’m supposed to keep track of.

Dress: Ummm, it’s living in Houston now and Saks will be delivering it to the hotel. I think I’m ok there. I will, of course, help her get dressed. And learn how her bustle works.

Bobby pins: Fortunately, I always travel with some in my overnight kit. Don’t ask why. Really, just don’t.

Makeup: Well, the makeup lady is going to do our makeup. Am I supposed to go out and buy a new set? How about the bride has a stash of powder or whatever, and we go from there?

Makeup for touchups: Oh! Apparently the makeup was the original makeup. In that case, makeup lady has us covered, and I just need to figure out touchups. Hmm. Maybe I’ll stop at Ulta and buy some of those blotting things to stick in my (hopefully) matching clutch and call it a day.

Clear nail polish: Obviously this was written for someone who’s not having a wedding in Houston. We’re so not wearing nylons. Although maybe I should bring some in case her 24 hour old manicure starts to chip. With my luck, it’ll be my manicure that chips!

Nail glue: Seriously? How about nail file?

Hairspray: Hmmm. This one may not be a bad call. Ten to one I leave it in my hotel room. That’s ohhh, an elevator ride away from the ceremony and reception. Check!

Tissue: Apparently this is in case we start to cry? Or snot runs down our faces? Actually, given the way I feel right now, that may not be a bad option. I have an empty Kleenex box sitting next to me because I woke up with a horrendous cold this morning.

Perfume: Just in case we start to stink, I suppose. May happen.

Jewelry for the Bride and yourself: I love how they capitalize “bride” there.

Wedding dress shoes and a casual pair for after: Umm, for after what exactly? Some fetishes I refuse to be a party to. Plus, the bride went with the groom’s mom a few weeks ago to buy some ballroom dancing shoes with special inserts to keep them comfortable. Since groom’s mom is a former ballet dancer, I think she’s covered.

Undergarments for the wedding dress: Ok, now they have to be joking. Do they really expect me to go out and buy them or hold onto them because the bride can’t be trusted to dress herself now?

Needle, thread (white and color of bridesmaid dresses), and scissors: Ok, this I was planning to bring, since I have a cute handy dandy little sewing kit. And it’s the best way to avoid jinxing myself!

Contact solution/rewetting drops or glasses: Now this is useful, as the bride does wear contacts. But I don’t. Maybe I’ll bring a little tote where I can steal things out of her room to keep in my “Official Things To Bring To The Wedding” bag.

Breath Mints: No comment needed, really!

Pantyhose/Nylons (at least 2 pair): Maybe if we were going to rob a bank….

Change of clothing for after: I’m starting to feel like I’m supposed to be a pack mule.

Phone numbers for all the important vendors: How do you choose an important vendor vs an unimportant one?

Watch: Ok, now I’m in trouble. My watch broke last October, and I haven’t gotten a new one. It’s on my List Of Things To Do, but I haven’t found one I really like yet, not that I’ve looked all that hard. Does my cell phone count?

Any prescription medication the bride or groom is on: Note here that they capitalized neither bride nor groom. Interesting. Actually, if the best man doesn’t grab it, I’m taking the epi pen for the groom who’s deathly allergic to all aquatic life, and I know there are fish type things on the appetizer trays and for dinner. Nothing like living on the edge at your own wedding!

Plane tickets and luggage if the newlyweds are going on their honeymoon straight from the wedding: Phew, they aren’t going until July (interestingly – my husband and I were married in May and honeymooned in July, too!).

Extra money (just in case of emergency): Heh. Can I assign my husband to this one? I’m notorious for walking around with $3 in my wallet for weeks at a time because I just don’t buy things and generally don’t use cash. I actually need to stop at Costco ummm Wednesday to buy a couple things and use my rebate check so I will have cash on hand for Houston.

A friend to stand by for back up (yes two words for them) in case the car has a flat tire or engine problems: Yep, we’re all guests in Houston with no rental cars, but I’ll find someone to be a backup in case a car breaks down. At what point do you just say that it’s fate telling you not to get married?

Your speech: hmm. See above!

Card to give the bride (always a cute friend idea): Coming from the person who doesn’t give anyone cards for any occasion and has her kids use scratch paper to draw cards for birthday parties, ok! Actually, maybe I’ll have my kids make some.

2 garters (1 to keep and 1 to toss): Really? People would want to keep their garters? I suppose I should ask her if she’s even doing a garter toss….

Groom’s ring: I can almost guarantee I'll have to wrestle the groom's mom for it.

Tylenol and Tums: Now this is my kind of partier! Whoever wrote this was definitely planning to have a blast at the wedding!

Deodorant/antiperspirant: Definitely stealing this from her room. I wouldn’t want to share with anyone or have anyone share with me. Actually, I’d go for the "not needing any more than I’d already put on" theory.

Phone Numbers of all Important Family Members in the Wedding, Bridesmaids, Grooms: Yep, that was the entire sentence and their caps, not mine

Toothbrush: Ah ha! Those visits to the dentist come in handy. I have a brand spanking new one that I can bring down (I use a Sonicare so the ones from the dentist usually get donated). Interestingly, they don’t suggest toothpaste.

Antacid: Isn’t that covered by the Tums and Tylenol? They’re really reaching now.

Cash (In small bills for tips): We’re going to a strip club and no one told me?

Apparently I’m not a good maid of honor. Fortunately, my friend isn’t a good bride, so it’ll all work itself out, right? Anyone have a guess as to whether or not either of the other bridesmaids will pay me for the dresses I bought them before the ceremony actually occurs? Or for the very nice shower I paid for? Whoops, that was petty.

Lastly, can you all send me good vibes? I’m actually skipping yoga tonight because I feel so yucky. With all the oranges I eat, you’d think I’d stay healthy, but apparently karma’s having a good laugh at my expense.

Shower? Check!

Phew! The shower went off without a hitch. Well, at least without a major hitch. And everyone had fun.

The biggest issue was my concern over getting there before the shower started. This was a birthday party weekend, as we had a birthday party both yesterday and today for the kids at noon. My husband had baseball both days (PA and playing, respectively), so I was on my own for getting them there. Unfortunately, Little Miss’s party today ended up going later than expected, so I got home around 2:45. The shower started at 4. No big deal, except that I have to go from the suburbs to Lincoln Park in Chicago and set everything up before people arrive. Traffic can easily put the journey over an hour and a half, so that was cutting it close.

Smart me, however, had made a list of everything I needed for the party from the pita chips to go with the hummus to the camera to the crock pot to melt the chocolate for my fountain and more. Then I acted on the list and gathered everything I could (some items obviously needed to stay refrigerated) and either placing them on the island where I couldn’t miss them or putting them in my car so I wouldn’t have to worry about forgetting them. That definitely made things easier.

Except that I realized that my car was a little low on gas, and I didn’t feel comfortable driving into the city and back with the gas I had. But I didn’t have time to stop and get more gas, especially since I had to make other stops.

Like getting bananas. I had stopped at my produce market yesterday and Costco, and neither had bananas. I tried a different Costco that was on my way home from the birthday party today, and no dice. What’s up with bananas lately? I’ve had a really hard time finding bananas, and I’m bummed because I love them. I don’t remember having such a large span of time in the past where bananas just weren’t available. Am I the only one missing out on bananas?

I also had to stop for the chocolate. The best place to buy the melting discs is on the way to the city, so I’d planned on stopping at the Home Economist. I hadn’t planned on leaving at 2:45, but without the melting discs, there’s no chocolate fountain, so I stopped as fast as I could.

For me, that involves running inside with just my wallet, going straight to the melting discs section (yes, I know exactly where they are – Mister Man had a chocolate birthday party for his fourth birthday where we “made” all sorts of chocolates), and racing back to the checkout counter. Where there were three people in line ahead of me. Three groups, really, as one of them was four little boys (in my view – they were probably 11 or 12 at least). Fortunately, a second line opened up, so it ended up that I just had to wait on the boys.

Who had $8. And bought candy worth $9.19. As they dickered amongst themselves over which item to take out and how to get under $8, I decided that it was easier and smarter to just give them the $2. When the cashier saw what I was doing, she would only take $1 and gave the boys the other $0.19 themselves. The best part is how happy and grateful they were. They actually turned around and thanked me repeatedly. Maybe I’m a little jaded, but I’d expected maybe a thank you but more likely a grunt of embarrassed acknowledgement before they ran outside. That put a smile on my face.

Apparently, that was the karma I needed, too, although I didn’t intend it that way. I left there at 3:01, and I made it to the WineStyles store at 3:46. That included driving around the block once to try to find parking, too. Phew!

Since I’d gotten there about a half hour later than I’d intended, much of the setup work had been done by another bridesmaid, which made things easier. The biggest difficulty was getting the chocolate to melt. Again, thank God I’d read the instruction manual (and brought it with me), as the fountain doesn’t melt the chocolate. You have to pre-melt it then pour it into the fountain, which seems rather counterintuitive to me. Yay! I brought my crockpot for just that purpose, and it melted within 20 minutes of getting there, so it was pretty much all on time.

And during the shower, I stuck my foot in my mouth only one time. I was talking to the future MIL and she mentioned how nice the shower was and how much fun she was having (ahhh, music to my ears!). I told her that I’d been a little worried, since we didn’t have anything specifically planned. The bride’s two rules were “No games, and no lingerie.” Guess who’d bought lingerie? Oops. I sort of laughed it off, but yep, that was the next set of present to be opened “from” the flower girl, the third bridesmaid who lives in Israel, and the MIL. That’ll teach me!

For anyone who hasn’t been to WineStyles, it’s a great franchise. They had a cool table set up, we brought in our own food, and they poured five different wines for us. They offered to do a regional theme for us if we wanted. They adjusted what wines they were pouring based on some of the tasted I knew. They offered to put out bottles of water for us. They poured grape juice for the eight year old and didn’t charge us a cent for her. They let me us their kitchen for the chocolate and cleaning everything up. They made a great package for the favor we chose (a bottle of dessert wine). They kept our glasses full without being overly intrusive. And it was $15 per person for our “two” hour timeslot, which really turned into 3 ½… with no rushing us out the door or anything. I highly recommend them if you have a need for an event. We had eight people, but I can see up to twenty fitting well. Oh yeah, and everyone at the event gets a 10% discount on the wine in the store.

The only downfall is that the eight year old hit a wall at about 7. She was done (and had probably had enough sugar from all the chocolate and cake!). Her mom sent her for a quick walk, which helped. But then she lost it and started crying and whining, which meant we got everything cleaned up and out to our cars more quickly than we’d originally intended. Poor kid! She was a good sport and good help through the majority of the event though. That does give me more faith that not bringing Mister Man and Little Miss to Houston for the evening wedding is the right choice!

Oh, and I almost forgot! The other bridesmaid was in charge of the cake. It was so cool! It was a square cake decorated as a present with a ribbon and everything. Plus, it even tasted good (mmm, raspberry filling!). I’m always in awe of people who make food look good like that. All my effort always goes into making things taste good. Presentation sometimes leaves a bit to be desired. Someday, I’ll take some cake decorating classes, but in the meantime, I’m always highly impressed by what people can do. Ace of Cakes is a perfect example! Sometimes freaky, but always way cool. And yes, I did take pictures, but I need to download them onto a different computer, and I’m too tired to do that tonight.

I’m just glad that duty #1 as MOH is over and successfully completed. Now I have only 9,999,999,999 more. I think. I’ve never been in a wedding before, and the bride is really quite anti-bride, so she’s no help. I know in the ceremony, I’m supposed to make sure her dress is pretty once she gets to the chuppah and take her flowers when she needs to pay attention to the groom, but beyond that, I’m not 100% sure. And when I mentioned those two tasks, they were news to her. I think I have some research to do!

How Can I Support Her?

I did have a different topic to blog about tonight, but that one will be saved for another, happier day.

As I've mentioned before, I think, I'm the matron of honor (ok, maid of honor -- I'm not old enough to be a matron!) for a friend's wedding in May. I called her earlier today to see how things were going, and she mentioned that the other bridesmaid was supposed to help her write out invitations today but had called and told her that she had a family emergency and wouldn't be able to be there.

I finally got off the phone with the bride as hubby and I were about to walk into the restaurant for dinner, so I resolved to call the bridesmaid when we finished dinner. (My parents wanted to take the wee ones on a sleepover, so we used the gift certificate hubby gave me for Mothers Day last year.)

My cell rang as we were finishing dinner, so I muted it. I happened to glance at who was calling as I was silencing it and realized it was the bridesmaid calling me unsolicited. Needless to say, this broke my usual rule about talking on cell phones while with others.

She didn't sound upbeat, and it wasn't good news. Her brother has passed away, and she's in Connecticut right now emptying out his apartment (he lived alone) and making all the practical arrangements. Since it's the weekend, they can't even get to the medical examiner's office to see the body. They aren't certain what happened, but it was likely an accidental overdose.

I feel really helpless right now. I don't like not being able to do anything to help. Her daughter is with her ex-husband, so she's taken care of. She's in Connecticut, so I can't help there. I'll obviously be at the wake and funeral, once those are scheduled (fortunately for me, in Illinois). I want to offer to take her to dinner or something to take away some of her pain, but ... how?

This is the first time that someone I've been close to has lost someone important to them, especially in circumstances like this. I did volunteer to talk to the bride to break the news to her, so she had one less call to make (in fact, I just got off the phone with her), but what else is there? Other than "being there" for her, which is so nebulous, what helps?