Thursday, April 2, 2009

Just Call Me Mom

When I was growing up, I never understood a lot of the things my mom told me to do. I knew what I was doing and why, and it all made sense to me.

Why did I have to go to bed? I was having fun playing, and I wasn't tired. Pleeeeeease, can't I just stay out for another twenty minutes? Just ten?

And oh, I hated the days the cleaning lady came. Each week when Ginger arrived, that meant I had to clean everything up. I mean seriously, she's a cleaning lady. Why did I have to clean before the cleaning lady came? Are we embarrassed to show our house to her in its natural state?


Umm, sorry, Mom.

I promise I'll never have a Donna Reed bob or wear pearls on a daily basis, but I think I'm stepping into your size seven shoes. Just a little.

I'm a sleep nazi. In fact, my parents don't think the wee ones need sleep now. I'm the one saying they need to go to bed earlier and that yes Little Miss needs a nap in the afternoon. She sleeps every day I'm with her and in charge and only doesn't nap because you told her she doesn't need to nap anymore.

I'm the one who's saying to the wee ones that it's time to stop playing and that no, it's too late tonight to do something else before bed. We need to hurry and get ready for bed. I know you aren't tired, but trust me, it's bedtime.

And the cleaning lady thing? Uhhh, yeah. I've since learned that it's not actually cleaning before the cleaning lady comes. It's straightening. There's a big difference. They can't clean the house if there's piles of stuff everywhere. And I'm the one sighing on Thursday mornings as I see my husband's dirty clothes on a pile in the middle of our bedroom floor.

Yes, I too am overinvolved in the schools. I'm PTO president this year, and I can't figure out how to say no. I'm volunteering to bring foods for the church potluck. I'm the person they turn to at the last minute to get something done.

And I may be sending Mister Man to Catholic school next year. I went to Catholic school until eighth grade, and I never thought I'd send my children there. I am currently setting up an appointment to go visit with a school in the next couple of weeks. Where did that come from?

If it makes you feel better though, I promise I won't completely take over everything you did.

I have no plans to put bags of cooked spaghetti into Ziploc bags in the freezer and leave them there for my wee ones to forage dinner.

I refuse to eat breakfast and lunch of a single bowl of cottage cheese with canned peaches atop it. Yuck.

My wee ones will never believe that the UPS truck is our personal delivery vehicle. Instead, we have neighbors two doors north of us who are taking that job.

And I'll never own a car with the hopes that one day it will be considered an antique so I can get special license plates for it. And I definitely won't ever park it in my garage and then have it somehow roll out of the garage and into a pond where it's totaled due to electrical damage only thirteen years into owning it.

Phew. I feel a little better now.


Hyacynth April 2, 2009 at 2:22 PM  

Laughing so much at this! Thanks for divulging. If you think becoming your mom is bad, try channeling your grandma. Yup, that's me. I inherited the conspiracy-theorist and worry-about-things-like-LSD-in-kids-stickers gene. Ummmm ... don't ask about the sticker thing. :)

Ryan Ashley Scott April 2, 2009 at 5:19 PM  

I'm rolling - am unfortunately, I do put cooked pasta in the freezer! Ahahaha! It's amazing how we had to sleep back then, but now they don't think OUR kids need so much sleep. Huh.

HFW - I'm relating to her 'grandmother' gene w/ the stickers, as well.

This was so much fun to read.

anymommy April 2, 2009 at 6:30 PM  

So funny! My mom used to drive me crazy with the cleaning before the maid came thing - now I totally do it too. The Washington Post called it "premaidicating" once, which was totally hilarious.

septembermom April 2, 2009 at 7:45 PM  

Funny post! I sound more and more like my mom everyday. Her favorite saying to us kids, "Please I need peace." I say it all the time. Once you put on those mom "shoes", you see how important it is to try and maintain a somewhat clean, "sane" home for your kids.

Anonymous April 2, 2009 at 8:41 PM  

I LOL'd at the cleaning lady thing. I used to think the same thing. I didn't get it- well not really. So what if my underwear is all over the floor?
Just stopping by to say hi. I am a first time participant. Check out my non profit website
We need help spreading the word

Anonymous April 2, 2009 at 8:42 PM  

I LOL'd at the cleaning lady thing. I used to think the same thing. I didn't get it- well not really. So what if my underwear is all over the floor?
Just stopping by to say hi. I am a first time participant. Check out my non profit website
We need help spreading the word

Hoosier Homemade April 2, 2009 at 9:33 PM  

Thanks so much for stopping by my blog and commenting on the homemade pancakes. The touch of vanilla sounds great, thanks!

Karen April 3, 2009 at 7:44 AM  

We were going for that "own a car until it's an antique" status, but alas it died at the so-close age of 18. May she rest in peace. Or pieces.

Heather April 3, 2009 at 3:25 PM  


Michelle April 3, 2009 at 5:43 PM  

H F W - Actually, I am much like my Gram. We listen to other people's conversations all the time, people watch to beat the band, etc. She was a Depression Era child, and I've somehow inherited most of her tendencies. I really miss her....

RAS - Cooked pasta in the freezer? I think I need a little more info on that one. I'll freeze lasagne but not a bag of spaghetti or anything.

anymommy - Premaidicating. I love it! But sadly, it does now make total sense, doesn't it?

septembermom - Yeah... sane. That's right. I do try to avoid some of my mom's phrases though, as they can be quite nutty.

Parenthood For Me - I will admit to never having my underwear all over the floor. I HATE (and always have) people seeing my underwear. And I blame my mom for that one, too.

Liz - Oh, vanilla and nutmeg are wonderful ingredients that add so much!

Karen - Yeah but I'm sure you weren't doing it JUST so you could get the license plate though, were you?

Heather - Thanks. Glad you enjoyed!

Angie's Spot April 3, 2009 at 8:57 PM  

You are preaching to the choir. I know all about being over-involved in everything that I touch. Apparently, I have the words "go to girl" on my forehead.

Isn't it funny how we fall into a lot of the same things that we never understood about our parents? I still laugh when I say some of the things that I swore I never would.

Melisa Wells April 4, 2009 at 3:29 PM  

Trust me, you'll learn to say no in about five years when you get totally and completely burned out. The only other choice at that fork in the road is to become an over-absorbed with everything outside of yourself kind of woman, and I think you are a very smart person (we're lots alike, remember?) who knows deep down that you need to not lose sight of yourself and your needs...I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

Michelle April 4, 2009 at 7:05 PM  

Angie - The light is dawning -- THAT'S what that tattoo on my forehead reads. I actually had someone give me the advice when I was very young to never say "I'll never" because that's the surest way to curse yourself.

Melisa - It's going to take me another five years? Really? I mean I *want* to be involved and help, but I need a breather. At least in elementary school, there is a ton more involvement!

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