What's Next?!

So yesterday, I found out that my husband had the basketball hoop that he never did anything about. I've since discovered that the hoop didn't just dent his car, it actually made a hole in part of his car.

Apparently I'm still a little bitter about this, as I had a dream last night in which my husband killed a cat. With his car.

In the dream, I am backing out of the garage, making certain -- as I always do -- to avoid the car parked close to mine in the driveway. As I drove past his car, I noticed that there was blood on his car. I stopped my car and went inside to talk to my husband.

He told me that he'd gotten into his car and started it up before hearing a big bang. He got out of the car to examine it and found a bleeding cat. He took the bleeding cat to the vet, but it was too badly injured, and he had to make the "painful decision to put it down." Let's just say that isn't something that I picture coming out of my husband's mouth.

Apparently, the cat had crawled into the wheel well of his car and then fallen asleep. My husband kept trying to tell me that it wasn't his fault because it just happened where he'd parked his car and that if he had parked his car a little further back it would have been even worse. Yep, that's when I knew I was still bitter even in my sleep.

It gets better though (this ist he end of the dream) when I got home from running errands and heading to the gym. I went to open the fridge to put away the milk, and the handle of the fridge popped off in my hand. "What did you do?" I asked my husband, frantically. "I don't know," he replied. "What's wrong?" And he came over to investigate.

I examined the bottom of the handle where it had popped off -- as it was still somewhat attached at the top. As I touched the fridge, I realized that the glue they had used to hold it in place when the fridge was built wasn't very strong. It was more like the gummy stuff that holds junk mail postcards closed. As I squished it a little in examination, it dawned on me that this was fresh glue.

I turned to my husband with hands on hips. "This is new glue. This handle was already broken, wasn't it?" He looked at me sheepishly before admitting it. All I know is that the handle was fine when I filled my water bottle this morning.

I'd take a picture of it, but my husband has tried a second type of glue and currently has it "clamped" by putting a kitchen chair up next to it. *sigh*

Seriously, how do you break off the handle of a fridge? Anyone ever heard of this before? Ever? When I ran out this afternoon, I requested that he stay seated in the chair and not move. And to try to not break the chair while he was at it!

So anyone want to place a bet on what my husband breaks next? Anyone?

If You Want A Job Done Right...

I almost thought I didn't have much to write about today. I've spent the majority of my day today putting together the presale and marketing brochure for the wee ones' preschool's annual fundraiser. It hasn't been the most exciting day.

I did realize this morning that our basketball hoop fell down, but really... all I have to say about that is that I've been telling my husband since we moved in three years ago that the hoop is starting to rust and that he needs to take care of it. He needs to file off the rust and refinish it before it rusts through. He needs to get some metal bands that he can use to reinforce the rusted part.



It all falls on deaf ears.

Needless to say, both the wee ones were very disappointed when they saw it this morning. They both really liked having a hoop in their driveway, although they admittedly are a little too young to truly play. That and Mister Man hates to see anything broken or messed up.

My husband called me just a bit ago to see how my day was going, and I filled him in.

Him: So, did you see the basketball hoop?
Me: Yeah, it's pretty hard to miss. The wee ones were pretty bummed.
Him: I can imagine. Mister Man doesn't like to see things get broken.
Me: Nope. I've been telling you for three years to do something about that though.
Him: Yeah, I know...
Me: You're really lucky that the hoop didn't fall on your car, you know? (his car lives outside on the driveway -- it's a small two car garage)
Him: Yeah... about that...
Me: WHAT?
Him: Umm, it kinda fell over on my car last night.
Me: Oh my. How bad is the damage?
Him: Well, I have a couple of pretty significant dents in the trunk area. I'm planning to stop at a few body shops on my way home tonight.

On the other hand, that does explain why the hoop wasn't embedded in the ground when it fell. I was trying to figure that out. At least this mystery was easier to solve than that of the tree.

Thank God for Wildfire. I'm off to the Supper Club in Glenview tonight, and there's a martini flight there with my name on it.

Just Call Me Mom

When I was growing up, I never understood a lot of the things my mom told me to do. I knew what I was doing and why, and it all made sense to me.

Why did I have to go to bed? I was having fun playing, and I wasn't tired. Pleeeeeease, can't I just stay out for another twenty minutes? Just ten?

And oh, I hated the days the cleaning lady came. Each week when Ginger arrived, that meant I had to clean everything up. I mean seriously, she's a cleaning lady. Why did I have to clean before the cleaning lady came? Are we embarrassed to show our house to her in its natural state?

Seriously.

Umm, sorry, Mom.

I promise I'll never have a Donna Reed bob or wear pearls on a daily basis, but I think I'm stepping into your size seven shoes. Just a little.

I'm a sleep nazi. In fact, my parents don't think the wee ones need sleep now. I'm the one saying they need to go to bed earlier and that yes Little Miss needs a nap in the afternoon. She sleeps every day I'm with her and in charge and only doesn't nap because you told her she doesn't need to nap anymore.

I'm the one who's saying to the wee ones that it's time to stop playing and that no, it's too late tonight to do something else before bed. We need to hurry and get ready for bed. I know you aren't tired, but trust me, it's bedtime.

And the cleaning lady thing? Uhhh, yeah. I've since learned that it's not actually cleaning before the cleaning lady comes. It's straightening. There's a big difference. They can't clean the house if there's piles of stuff everywhere. And I'm the one sighing on Thursday mornings as I see my husband's dirty clothes on a pile in the middle of our bedroom floor.

Yes, I too am overinvolved in the schools. I'm PTO president this year, and I can't figure out how to say no. I'm volunteering to bring foods for the church potluck. I'm the person they turn to at the last minute to get something done.

And I may be sending Mister Man to Catholic school next year. I went to Catholic school until eighth grade, and I never thought I'd send my children there. I am currently setting up an appointment to go visit with a school in the next couple of weeks. Where did that come from?

If it makes you feel better though, I promise I won't completely take over everything you did.

I have no plans to put bags of cooked spaghetti into Ziploc bags in the freezer and leave them there for my wee ones to forage dinner.

I refuse to eat breakfast and lunch of a single bowl of cottage cheese with canned peaches atop it. Yuck.

My wee ones will never believe that the UPS truck is our personal delivery vehicle. Instead, we have neighbors two doors north of us who are taking that job.

And I'll never own a car with the hopes that one day it will be considered an antique so I can get special license plates for it. And I definitely won't ever park it in my garage and then have it somehow roll out of the garage and into a pond where it's totaled due to electrical damage only thirteen years into owning it.

Phew. I feel a little better now.

What Is WRONG With People?

I'm so grossed out. So totally grossed out. I was flipping through the television the other night and happened upon a very old version of The Family Feud. It was hosted by someone I'd never seen before -- anyone know who the white haired host with a big nose was and when he hosted?

Anyway. The question was: Name something you do in the shower besides wash your body.

#1 Sing -- ok, totally reasonable answer.

#2 Shave -- I've heard of people doing this. Oh wait. I do this. :)

#3 Shampoo hair -- Well, ummm duh! How did only

#4 Make love -- Eight people said this. Odd that this would be the first thing that eight out of a hundred people would come up with, but I can see this. Not saying I've ever done this, but ... actually, I'm not going to touch that one.

#5 -- I gotta save this one for later.

#6 Brush teeth -- Five people brush their teeth, which is sorta icky, but it's not as bad as number five!

#7 Clean the shower -- and his response after hearing the previous answers "Well, they certainly had good reason to!"

*sigh*

So what do you think seven people out of a hundred chose as the something they do in the shower besides washing their bodies? Anyone? Anyone?

They "tinkle" - yes, you read that right. Seven out of a hundred people use the shower as a toilet. And that was the first thing they could think of. The FIRST thing. Think of all the people who also must do that but it just wasn't the first thing they thought of? Ewwwww!

I am so glad right about now that I always wear my shower shoes when I'm at the gym. Now I'm wondering if I need to wear them at home, too.

Tasty Tuesday!

There are some things that are worth getting up early for. Mind you - there aren't many, but there are some. My mom's blueberry streusel coffee cake is one of them. Fortunately, it's super easy to make and put together, so I can then go back to bed for forty-five minutes while it bakes. Except that I can't sleep because my house then smells so good. My mom may not be a good cook, but this is one special recipe.

Blueberry Streusel Coffee Cake

Ingredients:

Cake:
3/4 c sugar
1/4 c butter
1 egg
1/2 c milk
1/2 t almond extract
2 c flour
2 t baking powder
1/4 t salt
2 c blueberries (fresh or frozen -- I always add extra)

Topping:
1/4 c sugar
1/4 c brown sugar
1/3 c flour
1/2 t cinnamon
1/4 c butter

(I always add just a little nutmeg to the batter and topping because nutmeg makes everything taste better!)

Directions:
Preheat oven to 370 degrees.

Beat sugar, butter and egg until they are creamy, about three or four minutes. Add milk and almond extract and mix well. Add baking powder, salt and flour, and mix gently until not quite just combined. Fold in blueberries.

Pour batter into a 10" springform pan.

Make the topping by mixing sugars, flour and cinnamon. Cut in the cold butter until crumbly. Crumble over the batter.

Bake at 370 degrees for 45 or so minutes (my oven always takes a little longer).

Enjoy!

For more yummy stuff, check out this week's Tempt My Tummy Tuesday with Blessed With Grace! I have found so many yummy recipes. If I have time next week, I'll share my favorites that I've made so far.

It's Not Just Me

Yesterday, I was reading one of my favorite bloggers who was showing the destruction her children had made in her house while she was busy. I made a joking comment about not being the only house where socks are left in random places.

I was referring to the fact that the wee ones tend to take off their socks when playing in the basement and leaving them near the foot of the slide. And whenever they go to nap, they take off their socks and put them either somewhere to the side of their beds or under their beds.

Then I walked over to the kitchen this morning. And I saw something that made me realize I need to be very careful how I'm commenting, as karma seems out to get me lately.



This one? Totally my husband. Little Miss had taken off her socks and given them to my husband who apparently decided that the kitchen counter was an appropriate place for dirty socks.

I've since Clorox-wiped every eating surface in my house. I'm in real trouble, aren't I?

An Open Letter To Spring

Dear Spring,

I'm writing you in the hopes that you can rectify an error. It snowed here last yesterday and this morning. And I don't mean just cute little snow, I mean heart attack causing, massive, heavy snow that had trees bowed over and touching the roads kind of snow.

I know we have a little time warp around my house, but I think this is a little excessive in your lateness. While I will admit to having been late once or twice in my lifetime, I've never been this late. Ok, don't count the time I was three weeks late for my own birth. I didn't know any better then.

It's March 29, and it is cold and wet and icky. People are getting sick because you've missed the boat, and I'm hoping that it was just a slight oversight on your part. Did you know that Spring Break is over? That it's been spring for nine days so far?

In fact, my husband is supposed to play baseball outside next Sunday, but I don't see that happening at this rate. We won't talk about the t-ball practice that Mister Man is supposed to have because I forgot he had a broken arm and signed him up for t-ball anyway.

I'd really appreciate it if you could find a way to make it here. I thought you were coming, and so did my crocuses. In fact, I almost tilled my garden last week until it rained too much and made it too muddy. Maybe it would help if I provided some photographic evidence of how very wrong this most recent snowfall was?









As you can see, this wasn't just a "sprinkle" of snow. This is a good December of January snow. Trees were on the ground here. And branches are down everywhere -- especially where the incredibly dumb people drove through the trees that were bowed over and knocked off all their branches.

Do it for the trees then? Neither of us wants to see any more trees harmed. Regardless of your motivation, if you could work on making it here, my sanity thank you.

Sincerely,



PS Last year, I tried going to a higher power in May. I'd really appreciate it if I didn't have to go over your head this year. I don't want to get you in trouble again.